(_A Forecast of the Future_)
SCENE.--_A lecture-chamber at a military college._ Lecturer
_discovered behind a table_. Students _taking notes_.
_Lecturer._ I have now shown you a colonel and a major. I will disappear
for a few seconds, and then appear as a captain.
[_Dives under his table._
_First Student._ What's the lecture about? I got in too late for the
beginning.
_Second Student._ It's on "the Militia."
_Lecturer_ (_emerging from his table in fresh regimentals._) Now, my
men, you must regard me as your friend as well as your commander. I am
responsible for your well-being. (_Applause, amidst which the_ Lecturer
_resumes his ordinary clothing._) And now, gentlemen, it is unnecessary
to give you a sketch of a subaltern, as that genus of the army officer
must be known to all of you. And before I go I would be glad to answer
any questions.
_First Student._ Thank you, sir. May I ask why you have been giving this
interesting entertainment?
_Lecturer._ Certainly. To show you, gentlemen, your duty in the
Militia. You will be expected to play many parts.
_First Student._ But surely not simultaneously?
_Lecturer._ Why, certainly. The old constitutional force is so
undermanned in the commissioned ranks, that if the youngest subaltern of
a battalion cannot do equally well for colonel, major and captain, the
chances are that--well, I would be sorry to answer for the consequences.
And now, gentlemen, we will consider how a ballot for soldiering can be
established without seriously affecting the cherished rights of the
civilian.
[_Scene closes upon an unsuccessful attempt to solve the problem._
[Illustration]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Captain Smythe_ (_a good soldier, but no society man, to
his hostess_). "I have to thank you, Mrs. Brown, for an evening which
has been--er--_after two years on the veld_, most enjoyable."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "NONE O' YOUR LARKS" (1861)
_Gigantic Navvy._ "Let's walk between yer, gents; folks 'll think you've
took up a deserter."]
* * * * *