"Hello," says he. "What brings you here? Do you know anything?"
"No," says I, "if I did, I wouldn't be here."
I finally placed a small bet on a couple of horses, and when the first
race was run off, anxiously watched the ponies.
They soon got so far away that I couldn't keep track of them, and
noticing a fellow with a pair of field glasses next to me, who seemed to
be seeing everything going on, I says:
"How does Sunflower stand?"
Sunflower was the horse I bet on, you know.
"I don't know," says he, "I'm only watching the first ten horses."
Just to liven things up a bit, I'll sing you a song entitled "Music On
The Installment Plan; or, How Would You Like To Be The Piano Man?"
[Illustration]
"I love thee, ah, yes, I love thee,"
She sang in notes of joy;
And like a darned big fool
He married the maiden coy.
But now she never shrieks the song
She howled in days of yore;
She never thumps the keyboard now
Until her thumbs are sore.
Alas! upon her latest grand,
She never more will play;
She failed with the installments,
And they've taken it away.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I sing that song, but I guess
I'll laugh.
Crying doesn't suit my complexion; then, too, I've enough to be sad
about already.