not acted in that way, if the marriage of the parents had been a happy
one, if she had not witnessed that terrible scene which impressed
her the more painfully because she had no inkling whatever of the
brutal side of sexuality? I make bold to assert that she would have
developed into a quiet pleasant housewife and she would have given
vent to her homosexual tendencies along quiet and innocent paths.
But as it was she devoted herself to girls and avoided men more and
more. She did permit herself to be attracted by men. But they had to
be married and unattainable. Thus there could be no danger for her.
When the husband of a friend of hers of whom she also was very fond
declared that for her sake he would be willing to divorce his wife,
she fled and presently found some other unreachable ideal to which she
attached herself. All her ideals were practically desexualized while
her sexuality she exercised exclusively on women. _The love among women
loomed up in her mind as pure and elevating, while the love of men she
considered brutal. Even coitus seemed to her a disgusting brutal act._
The traumatic incident occurred after puberty yet it had a very
tremendous effect. The question rises whether the traumas occurring
during childhood may also influence the particular direction of sexual
development. This question has long since been solved in harmony with
_Binet’s_ view and psychoanalysis has taught us some additional facts
regarding the influence of traumas. The narrower Freudian school
has gone so far as to overvalue the influence of traumas and has
designated as traumas certain relatively trivial experiences which
do not deserve that designation. I want to sound again a warning
against underestimating the role of traumas. Certain minor fetichistic
tendencies are easily and sometimes fairly satisfactorily explained
on that basis, although the more complicated forms of fetichism,
such as we shall study later, are not to be explained solely upon
the theory of traumatic causation. Here the association hypothesis
of _Binet_ completely breaks down. We must bear in mind that the
neurotics conceive many traumas which in reality did not occur and
that their phantasy turns innocent incidents into alleged traumas
whenever it suits the trend of their emotions to do so. The neurotic’s
memory serves him poorly and that is also true of the homosexuals who
construct a purely homosexual life history for themselves.
But are not first impressions of fundamental determinative value for
future development? _Jean Paul_ very appropriately declares: “_All
first impressions persist forever in the child!_”
* * * * *
I wish to add here a couple of observations which we owe to _Bloch_ and
which illustrate very well the influence of first sexual impressions:
“I was about five years of age when during a walk accompanied by the
nursemaid I saw at some distance a man in the act of masturbating;
without knowing what it was, the picture persisted in my mind for
years. In my dreams until my fourteenth year a playmate occupied the
chief role. At thirteen years of age I fell in love with a school
comrade who took but little interest in me; what roused my interest
in him in particular was probably the fact that he was the one who
brought to the class information about sexual matters. We removed to
another City and I lost sight of the boy. Although I knew nothing
specific about sex at the time I sought contact with those who roused
my feelings.
“A stranger, a man of about 35 years of age, enticed me and as soon
as he had me he carried on pederasty with me. I felt that there was
something repulsive in what he was doing, but I was too weak to oppose
myself against his influence. In about three months he disappeared. Now
I knew what masturbation was especially as there had occurred a number
of orgies at school.
“At eighteen years of age I left school, and while the others among
my comrades began showing an inclination towards the female sex I
found myself attracted in every way exclusively to man. Often at the
insistence of some of my friends I tried to come into contact with
women of the half world but every time the attempt filled me only with
disgust and aversion. When I see a woman taking an interest in me I am
filled with a horrible feeling. That was one more reason why I felt
attracted to the male sex. When I love a man I do not think (only) of
sexual attraction, but I seek to find in him precisely what I, in turn,
feel myself ready to give; exclusive devotion, loyalty, tenderness;
when I love a man, everything else pales into insignificance for me.”
(_Bloch_, l.c., p. 565.)
It would seem that in this instance the memory of the masturbating man,
an incident which the boy had witnessed during childhood, determined
for him the actual course of his sexual development. In the previous
case the trauma acted as a warning. In this case it seems to have acted
like a perpetual stimulus, since a child does not possess the usual
moral scruples, and the first excitation (the sight of the erect organ)
must have been tremendous. That picture stayed in his memory for years,
it fixed itself and persisted permanently in that young man’s memory.
In the K. S. case, mentioned above, the trauma was associated with
disgust; it served as a revulsion against heterosexuality.[43]
In this particular case the memory of the incident was associated
with desire. It was utilized in positive form as an inciter to
homosexuality. Thus we find that the problem is rather complicated.
I confess that for some time I was unable to see my way clear in
the midst of these facts so long as I was one-sided in my views and
thought that the condition arises exclusively in one way. But I know
now that a number of paths may lead equally to homosexuality and that
this is a subject which requires a much more thorough study. We must
find out whether psychic factors are invariably at work behind every
case of homosexuality or whether there is an exclusively psychic
and a specially organic homosexuality. Such cases could be called
pseudo-homosexuality.
As a contribution to this question I find of interest the following
case, reported by Bloch, as the history reveals the trauma and the
bearing of the trauma upon the development of the condition. It is a
case of male homosexuality:
“From my early childhood I was aware of something peculiarly girlish
in my whole nature outwardly as well as inwardly (the latter in
particular). Sexual excitation I experienced also very early. _I was
about 6 years of age when I remember that a private instructor seated
himself on the edge of the bed where I was lying ill with fever,
petted me and then membrum meum tetigit with his hand; the pleasurable
sensation which thus arose was so intense that I cannot get it out
of my mind to this day._ At school where my conduct and studies were
always excellent I indulged occasionally in mutual ‘touching games’
with other boys. I do not know on what side of the family I may have
inherited the unusual intensity of my sexual desire, but I remember
that around my 12th year the flaring up of the instinct caused me
a great deal of unrest and when a comrade once showed me how to
masturbate it proved a welcome relief. This ‘paradisaic’ state did not
last long and when I learned about the dangers and forbidden features
of my habit I had a terrific and useless struggle with myself.
“I remember that as far back as my memory goes I had the habit of
_gazing at older, vigorous men_ almost involuntarily and with
a feeling full of longing, without knowing what it meant. As to
masturbation I thought that I fell into the habit because I had no
chance to come into contact with women. As a matter of fact I did
occasionally entertain friendly relations with certain girls who
appeared to be strongly attached to me; _but I always saw to it that
these love excitations were ‘nipped in the bud’_ because I was _afraid
I should be unable to carry out my role_ to the end. Finally I decided
to seek relief among prostitutes, who were otherwise repellent to my
esthetic and moral sense, but the attempts proved useless: either I
found myself unable to carry out the normal sexual act at all or if
I did it, I experienced no satisfaction and thereafter I was also
plagued with the fear of infection. I did have rather frequently
the opportunity to enter into amorous relations with married women
but I never did so even though I inwardly scorned my shyness and my
oversensitive conscience. Although these facts are true, I must not
omit to mention the chief thing responsible for the whole situation,
namely, the fact that I am homosexual in my inclination and that the
other sex has hardly any attraction for me.
“I believed myself totally unfit for ordinary sexual relations when
I found one day that the sight of the _membrum virile_ alone made
the blood boil in me with excitement. I then recalled that this had
occasionally happened before, although not to such a remarkable
extent. Secretly I had to face the plain fact that I was ‘not like
others.’ This fact which I had previously suspected and of which I grew
more and more convinced, brought me to the brink of despair.
“Then it happened that a simple little girl fell deeply in love with
me, and I made up my mind to start relations with her. During the time
while this lasted, a period of several months, my inclination towards
the male sex persisted though occasionally I tried to subdue it; but
to overcome it completely was for me, I found, impossible. I was still
keeping up my relations with the girl when I once noticed in a public
lavatory an elderly gentleman who appealed to me very strongly; he
scrutinized me carefully and bent over in order _membrum meum videre_,
came close by, moved forward his hand shaking with excitement and ...
_membrum meum tetigit_. I was so surprised and scared that I ran off
at once and for some time after that I avoided passing by that place.
But my impulsion was the greater on that account to meet that man
again; this was not at all difficult.... In this continuous struggle,
so meaningless and so useless, against an instinct which was at least
partly inborn in me, I have squandered my best energies, although
I have long ago reached the point of realizing that in itself the
instinct is neither morbid nor sinful.” (_Bloch_, l.c., P. 545.)
Does not this case illustrate clearly the influence of first
impressions and the significance of the bisexual foundation in the
homosexual attitude? The man is seduced by an elderly man and after
that he longs continually to be seduced by an elderly man, in a manner
recalling that unforgettable scene. Although capable of heterosexual
acts, this side of his nature persists as a sort of compulsory tendency
and drives him again into the arms of elderly men to seek that form
gratification which was the first he had ever experienced in his life.
His heterosexual leanings are repressed. He himself admits that he
always saw to it that all such love affairs were nipped in the bud. In
other words he is deliberately fighting off all heterosexual stimuli
and encouraging the homosexual excitations. Then he arrives at the
realisation that he is not like others.... In fact he is bisexual and
has the capacity to act as a bisexual being. A careful analysis would
have disclosed many interesting features. We wanted only to show how
this young man was continually seeking to find his teacher (father?),
and what a great deal of neurotic overgrowth stood back of this desire.
* * * * *
The next case quoted from _Krafft-Ebing_ is also very remarkable:
A merchant, 34 years of age, mother neuropathic; at 9 years of age was
taught masturbation by a schoolmate; also, homosexual relations with
a brother; fellatio; urolagnia; at 14 years of age first love for a
school colleague.
_At 17 years of age his love ideal changes completely. He is no longer
attracted by young, beautiful boys, but by decrepit old men._
_T. traces this back to the fact that he had once overheard his father
in the next room uttering pleasurable exclamations after he retired
for the night and this excited him tremendously because he thought his
father was ... (weil er sich den Vater coitierend dachte)._
Since that time old men carrying on various homosexual deeds play a
predominant role in his dream pollutions and during masturbation. But
even through the day the sight of an old man is enough to excite him,
especially if the man is very old and decrepit when his excitement may
be so tremendous as to end in ejaculation. Attempts at intercourse with
women in houses of prostitution proved unsuccessful and ordinary men
and boys do not rouse him. From the age of 22 years on he carried on
a platonic love towards an old gentleman whom he met on the latter’s
daily walks. During these walks T. had ejaculation. In order to free
himself of this peculiar dependence after several unsuccessful attempts
at intercourse with prostitutes _he took along with him a decrepit
old man whom he induced to have coitus before his eyes. The scene
so excited him that he in turn proved potent. Later on he was able
to dispense with the old man’s presence and could carry out the act
successfully without that aid. But this improvement did not last long;
soon he became impotent once more._
This case is in every way interesting and of great significance for our
problem. It proves to us the great determinative role of a childish
reminiscence and the persistence of a scene which is continually
repeated in memory. The whole of that young man’s libido is centered
around that particular scene. He stages it also in the brothel when
he hires an old man to have intercourse in his presence. That old man
assumes then the role of the father, the prostitute is the mother,
while he is once more the onlooking child. The act of looking on
so excites his passion that with that aid he proves potent in his
intercourse with the prostitute. But that continues only so long as the
exciting influence of the scene persists. After that he reverts to his
former impotence and he again ... seeks his father. It is perfectly
plain, and only the blind could fail to see that T. seeks his father.
His wish was obviously that his father should also start something
sexual with him. It is possible that he had identified himself with
his mother. But we have no direct proof of that. This is particularly
significant because _Sadger_ and the others who belong to _Freud’s_
narrower circle place great emphasis upon the role of the mother in the
genesis of genuine homosexuality while neglecting ruefully the role of
the father. This case shows us a “Japhet, who seeks his father.” The
promenades with the respectable old gentleman are repetitions of the
walks with his father.
This patient does not recall any heterosexual experiences during
his youth, probably because the memory of them has been repressed
from consciousness. In the other case which I shall now quote from
_Krafft-Ebing_ the heterosexual period is clearly recalled. I refer the
reader to that author’s _Observation 144_. Here I quote the first part
of the history of that case:
“I am at the present time 31 years of age, lean yet well built, devoted
to male love, therefore unmarried. My relatives were in good health,
mentally normal, there were two suicides in our family, on mother’s
side. My sexual feelings arose when I was about seven years of age, the
sight of the naked abdomen being particularly exciting. I gratified
my instinct by allowing my sputum to trickle down the abdomen. When I
was eight years old we had in our house a little nurse maid of about
thirteen years. I found it very pleasurable to rub my genitals against
hers, but there could be no coitus on my part at that time. During the
ninth year I went to live among strangers and went to the gymnasium. A
colleague showed me his genitals and that filled me with disgust. But
in the family where my parents arranged for me to board there was a
very beautiful girl who prevailed upon me—I was but little over nine
years old at the time—to sleep with her. I found the experience most
pleasurable. My penis, though small, was already capable of erection
and I had intercourse with her almost daily. This continued for several
months. Then my parents transferred me to another gymnasium; I missed
the girl very much and during my tenth year I began to masturbate. But
the act inspired me only with disgust. I masturbated but moderately,
always felt deeply remorseful afterwards, although I could discover no
bad consequences.”
Here is a man who actually felt disgust at the sight of a friend’s
genitals and who found intercourse with women pleasurable. He is
excellently on the way to become a heterosexual. At fourteen he falls
in love with a school colleague, an experience which every person goes
through at about that age, the “normal,” no less than the homosexual.
After the final examination (high school) he has intercourse with
girls and great pleasure in the act, but he is already making use of
some homosexual makeshifts. Soldiers must precede him in the act of
using the prostitutes and the thought of having access to a vagina
which had just been in contact with another penis, stimulates him. “At
the same time I can never kiss women without feeling disgust; _even
my relatives I kiss only on the cheek_.” ... _Hinc illæ lacrimæ!_ He
protects himself against the sexual excitations emanating from his
family circle. His homosexuality is somehow linked to his family. The
peculiar action of a boy who allows sputum to trickle down his abdomen,
imagining that it is spermatic fluid could probably be traced by means
of analysis to a definite childhood trauma. Particularly clear in
this case is the heterosexual attitude which under certain influences
and inhibitions merges almost imperceptibly into the bisexual and
homosexual.
* * * * *
Whether late homosexuality is determined every time through definite
traumatic incidents, I am unable to state, because I have not had the
opportunity thoroughly to analyze such a case. The next case seems to
me to show that strong emotionally toned episodes may turn a latent
into manifest homosexuality:
An army officer, 46 years of age, consults me for complete impotence
with women. The impotence is of four years’ duration. He has become
acquainted with a lady of whom he is very fond and who enjoys an
excellent financial status. He could now be a happy man, if he only
were a complete man. Asked about his morning erections he blushes. The
trouble is not with erections, they do not fail him on other occasions.
He is impotent only in contact with women. Finally he admits that since
his 38th year he has been carrying on homosexual relations. Since
that time his interest in women gradually vanished and he has become
impotent. His anamnesis reveals some significant facts. He recalls no
homosexual deeds or excitations during childhood and before puberty. He
was sexually precocious, masturbated already during the primary school
period and was attracted by girls. First coitus at seventeen in a house
of prostitution. After that he felt he wanted women very badly but had
no homosexual inclination. Then a tremendous experience came into his
life which agitated him and after that he was depressed for some time.
That was just before his first homosexual act.
“Can you tell me something about the nature of that agitation?”
“I find it painful to speak of it.”
“But you expect help in a rather difficult situation. How should I
appraise the situation in its true light if you won’t furnish me the
necessary information?”
“You are right. But there are things of which it is almost impossible
to speak. It is about my mother. But I suppose I cannot help myself
otherwise. I must tell you all.
“I have always honored and respected my mother. I was 38 years of age
when I received a telegram calling me to her sick bed. She passed
away shortly after my arrival. As the only son it was my duty to put
everything in order after her. I went through her old correspondence
and in a box I came across a mass of love letters. First I was not
going to read them. But curiosity got the best of me. I said to myself:
‘every married person loves once in his or in her life some one else,
why should not that be permitted to my mother when father died while
she was still very young.’ If I only had not done that! I found not
one letter, I found hundreds of letters and ... they were not all
from one man. The letters were so vulgar, so plain, so cynical, so
revolting that I wished myself dead. I lost the holiest thing in my
life. Before then I always dreamed of finding a woman like mother, and
her type of womanhood always stood before me as the ideal. Now I found
that she could be bought and she was to be had for ordinary degrading
purposes. The tone which her lovers assumed in those letters was so
revolting that I imagined the worst. Since then I feel a deep scorn for
all womanhood. Shortly after that I yielded to the temptations of a
homosexual friend....
“Do you believe that my impotence has some relation to that occurrence?
I have often thought of it. Whenever I go to a woman I cannot help
thinking of the box in which I found mother’s letters. After such an
experience how is it possible for one still to consider marriage?”
* * * * *
A late homosexuality induced by a very tragic experience. Naturally
the man was always latently homosexual. But it was that experience
which turned him into a manifest homosexual. Unfortunately I am unable
to state whether he married the woman and became heterosexual again or
not, because I never saw him after that.
The reader will observe that in this chapter I have quoted quite a
number of cases culled from the reports of other practitioners. I do
this for a double reason. First, I want to prove, on the basis of
other material than my own, that homosexuality has its psychogenesis;
and, in the second place, I aim by this means to disprove the
contention unfortunately rather widespread in some circles and actually
expressed by some critics, that my case histories correspond to the
“genius loci.” As if the Viennese differed in sexual matters from the
North-German or from the Englishman! My material is derived from the
world at large. _I have been unable to discover thus far any difference
with respect to sexual matters between any two nations, except that one
may keep things under cover more cleverly than the other._
* * * * *
This series of cases aiming to illustrate the rôle of psychic trauma
in sexuality may be concluded with the following case, reported by
_Pfister_ (l. c. p. 169):
A 28-year-old woman, member of an educational institution, of high
moral repute, is in despair because she fears she is no longer able
to control her homosexual longings. If she meets a young girl she is
nearly overpowered with the impulse to kiss her then and there. The
unknown girl’s face haunts her for weeks afterwards and she can not
sleep tortured with regret because she did not gratify her impulse to
kiss the girl as she does with her acquaintances. She is particularly
distracted at the thought that with her tendernesses and attentions,
she may mislead into homosexual counter-affection a fourteen-year-old
girl who is close to her, although nothing out of the way has happened
between them. But the little friend already trembles with excitement
when she is embraced and her great affection leads her to tears if she
does not see her beloved often enough.