insignificant, nervous father who left the conduct of his business to
the capable hands of his energetic and intelligent wife. The little
daughter learned early to admire her mother and to look upon her father
as a “light weight.” As a small girl she was normal. She played equally
with boys and girls. With her playmates of both sexes she underwent
various sexual experiences: the girls played the game of doctor and
this gave them an opportunity to touch the sexual parts, and a small,
ailing boy who was one of the girl’s playmates between her seventh and
ninth years, did the same thing. Around the age of eight years she fell
in love with an uncle who had the habit of throwing her playfully
into the air, a game which always gave her a very peculiar feeling.
_At ten or eleven years of age a 40-year old housekeeper abused her
repeatedly._ Definitely homosexuality broke out when the girl was
thirteen. She was at the time a great deal in the company of a teacher
who resembled her mother in many ways but who was better educated.
That passionate woman was distinctly homosexual and for two years
she treated the girl with greatest affection. During that time her
passion for kissing developed while the grossly sexual cravings which
the sensuous housekeeper had roused in her gradually quieted down. A
few love affairs with boys also led to kisses but she experienced no
particular passion in that connection. Those affairs she took up as a
pastime and to be in fashion rather than because she was interested.
At the boarding school her one-sided erotic inclination was further
developed in the course of passionate friendships. At the age of
nineteen she made a couple of heterosexual erotic attempts but they
proved unsuccessful. The first affair was with a hot-blooded artist of
womanly appearance. Her love was deep, the young girl floated in ideal
conversations and gladly exchanged kisses with the young man. After his
departure they maintained a warm correspondence full of tenderness but
without giving one another any formal promise.
Five or six weeks after parting from the beloved friend she became
engaged to a smart young man because she was in despair and she had
given up the plan of a higher education for herself as she was not
getting along at all well with a relative at home. She thought she
loved her young man but soon after the engagement she began fearing
that she had perhaps undertaken more than she intended to carry out.
The soft, shy young man apparently resembled her father. For seven
months she played at being in love, vomitted every morning and wished
she were dead. Finally she gave up her engagement and concentrated
all her feelings upon members of her own sex. She maintained however
her delicate womanly sensitiveness throughout and always gave the
impression of a girlish creature. So long as she found homosexual
gratification, she took little interests in a career, or in nature, art
and religion; but as soon as her inclinations were thwarted, her ideal
interests came strongly to the foreground. She herself compared these
vacillations with the movements of a pair of scales.
When she felt deeply in love she was fairly free of grossly sexual
excitations. But during her loveless engagement _she felt herself
sexually roused a number of times when the young man played with her in
a thoroughly respectable manner_.
_Pfister_ then relates that the young woman interrupted the analysis
just as she was making rapid progress towards recovery. But he adds
a number of interesting details, including her first dream, which
usually contains the nucleus of the neurosis.
* * * * *
The first dream is as follows:
_A cat bit me on the left index finger and held on to it for some time.
The finger swelled and burst down to the bone. The tendon was broken
and a great deal of fluid was oozing out. It meant I shall always have
a stiff finger. I said to myself: “What a pity! Now I won’t be able
ever to play the piano again.”_
_I woke up and found my finger so fast asleep that I could not move it._
Just before the dream the girl in her despair had offered a fervent
prayer which made her feel a little easier. Before the analysis the
girl was extremely restless and longed for her beloved, but she said to
herself that she would only bring misfortune upon that poor girl’s head.
The analysis of this dream, which _Pfister_ unfortunately, did not
carry out with complete success, shows that her whole emotional life is
governed by the infantile experience with that housekeeper. The first
recollection brought up by the free associations with this dream relate
to the housekeeper, who in the dream is represented by the cat.
I have discussed elsewhere in a lengthy contribution, the
_Representation of the Neurosis in Dreams_.[44] In this dream the
trouble is symbolized by a stiff finger. “Playing the piano” is
again a symbol for sexual intercourse as well as for masturbation.
Probably the symbol here has acquired its emotional coloring from the
masturbation habit. But the heterosexual meaning is also obvious (piano
playing—coitus). If we interpret the dream we have:
The housekeeper, that false cat who played a dependent rôle towards
my parents, made me ill with her long-continued tendernesses (A cat
bit me on the left index finger and held on for a long time). The
trouble grew worse, something valuable tore in me (the ability to love
a man) and the homosexual form of love established itself permanently
(stiffening). Now I am incapable of loving a man, I cannot be a mother
or raise a family of my own,—a wish that has already cost me so many
tears (the water flowing out of the wound).
* * * * *
Perhaps this interpretation will be doubted as something artificial and
rather forced. But the subject recalls further details of the dream
and relates them subsequently. Such additions are of extraordinary
significance because usually they contain the censured, the repressed
material. She recalls that the cat was going to bite her at first on
the foot (significant because of the proximity of the sexual parts).
Further on she relates a continuation of the dream:
_The water flowed down the steps. I ran to a friendly woman physician
for aid to my wound. On the way I met her unexpectedly in the
neighborhood of a merry-go-round. Then my sister speaks up saying: “She
will fix your finger in good shape right away.” The woman physician
retorts: “I am sorry, but I do not operate.” She sends me instead to a
surgeon (male)._
The interpretation is not difficult. There is a great deal of weeping.
Her tears inundate her whole soul (House as symbol of soul). At first
she is looking for a woman healer. A woman shall cure her trouble.
Life is a merry-go-round, everything in life revolves, she may yet be
happy. But the woman physician gave her the correct answer. You need a
surgeon. _Only a man can heal thee._ I do not operate. I am not the one
to awaken your femininity (defloration?).
A further supplementary account shows that the finger became the muzzle
of a repeating revolver. _Pfister’s_ interpretation that this is a
phallic symbol and that it shows the dreamer’s phantasy that she was
a male with a phallus, may be correct. Every homosexual woman has the
wish to transpose the psychic state into an actual physical condition.
But another possible meaning of the repeating fire arm seems to me
more plausible. The subject’s traumatic incident had the effect of
facilitating subsequently other homosexual experiences. _The traumatic
experience required repetition._
I pass over for the present the other meanings of the dream
(over-determination), which _Pfister_ discloses with keen insight. I
am concerned here merely with pointing out the determining influence
of a trauma. Naturally there are other factors at work along with the
traumatic incident, it would be necessary to find out why the incident
influenced her in that particular manner, the precise constellation of
her family circle ought to be taken into consideration, etc. But the
dream points so clearly to the cause of the psychic trauma that the
cross section it furnishes enables us to reconstruct the whole picture
of her trouble.
The case is convincing also from another standpoint. The subject gave
up early her psychoanalysis because she felt in a short time that she
was well. These apparent cures which serve to circumvent the danger of
a thorough psychoanalysis, are well known occurrences. The subject is
unwilling to acknowledge that she is also heterosexually predisposed,
that her whole longing, in fact, is directed towards the fulfilment
of motherhood. The dream says plainly: _“I want to be a woman, like
all other women, I want to bear children! Save me from the danger of
homosexuality!”_
But her consciousness is unprepared to acknowledge this desire. She
meets difficulties upon the heterosexual path. _Pfister_ believes that
she identified herself with her father. In that sense the kissing
episodes (with girls) signify: _I let father_ (who was a very handsome
and well appearing man) _kiss me_! But her mother was also in the habit
of kissing her with great show of affection. It appears thus that the
most varied forces were at work to determine the fixation (stiffening)
of her emotional attitude.
In fact homosexuality does resemble ankylosis. The free operation of
sexuality appears to be restricted, a single point is fixed and every
movement takes place thereafter only within the range of that point of
fixation.
Is it possible for psychoanalysis to loosen up such psychic ankyloses
and to free once more the bound-down energies? In this particular case
can psychoanalysis remove the fear of man and the woman’s doubt whether
she can fill a woman’s rôle? How far reaching are the possibilities of
psychic orthopedics in the case of homosexuals?
I must ask the reader to follow me patiently through the complex
inquiries which follow before attempting to answer these questions.
VII
Erotism and Sexuality—The Motive Power of Unfulfilled
Wishes—The Male Protest—The Relations of the Homosexual
to his Mother—Hirschfeld’s Schematic Outline—Infantile
Impressions—Influence of the Stronger Parent—Letter of an Expert.
_Die Knabenliebe ist so alt wie die Menschheit und man könnte daher
sagen sie liege in der Natur, ob sie gleich gegen die Natur sei._
_Goethe._
VII
_Boy love is as old as the race and therefore it may be said to be part
of nature, although against nature._
_Goethe._
Investigators interested in the problem of homosexuality point out that
the condition occurs in families and see therein a support for the
contention that this condition is inborn. Homosexuals usually have a
homosexual brother or sister, or one or the other of their parents is
similarly afflicted, in spite of marriage. But if we think of neurosis
and of homosexuality (which is a particular form of neurosis) as a
retrogression, if we bear in mind that all neurotics show a marked
overemphasis of sexual traits, the reason for these facts is plain.
What is inherited is not the homosexuality but the powerful bisexual
disposition which leads to morbid tendencies. Furthermore we must bear
in mind that the influence of family life is practically the same for
all children. Yet one child escapes lasting injury while another is
tremendously handicapped.
Before looking more closely into the influence of family life upon the
development of homosexuality we must point out two very significant
considerations.
One of these is the division of all love into spiritual and physical;
the next point is the double attitude of every homosexual as male and
female. For the present I need only emphasize the fact that persons
readily adjust themselves so that one sexual component is expressed on
the spiritual, the other upon the physical plane. Let us call spiritual
love, “erotism,” and physical love, “sexuality.” The average homosexual
applies his erotism to male friendships and his sexuality he places
in the service of heterosexual love; the progress of culture consists
therein that heterosexual love is also gradually sublimated, that
is, turned more and more into erotism. The homosexual, for instance,
turns his erotism towards women, and applies his sexuality in his
relation with men. But at times he may turn his whole erotism into the
homosexual channel and suppress his whole sexuality. Or he may endeavor
to find certain spiritual qualities in his sexual ideal, trying to turn
also part of his erotism into the homosexual path. Thus we meet most
remarkable variations. For an example we may mention the homosexual
who is interested only in coachmen, soldiers, servants and peasants.
His sexual ideal he finds only among the lower orders. Such a man has
turned his whole erotism towards women. He seeks the friendship of
mature women, sometimes also the company of fine men, but sexually he
can be active only in contact with men of low order.
This peculiarity already indicates a judgment-attitude in sexual
matters. Sexuality is perceived as degrading, as compelling a return
to the first aspects of “natural” life. The attitude is further
complicated by the homosexual’s overemphasis of one or the other
sex during his acts. If he is an active homosexual he preserves his
individuality, identifying his selfhood with some male ideal, the
father, the brother, the teacher, etc. On the other hand, if he plays
a passive rôle, he identifies himself with a woman, the mother, or her
polar obverse, the prostitute. Occasionally he carries on both rôles
and the relations between sexuality and erotism become reversed and
transposed. That is what complicates the problem so tremendously. The
urning transfers his erotism to men and his sexuality is roused in
relation with women only, but the latter is soon turned into disgust.
Or the urlind loves spiritually only women and finds all men repulsive,
unbearable and disgusting.
In order to acquire a psychologic insight into every case as it
presents itself, and to judge of its significance, it is necessary to
answer the question: what does the homosexual aim to accomplish with
his actions? What does the homosexual act represent in the subject’s
fancy. In most cases of this character reality does not enter into
consideration.
Some obscure and baffling paraphilias lose their extraordinary
character once we get at the specific act which the subject repeats
vicariously through his overt action. For _Nietzsche’s_ law of the
eternal return of sameness applies to the neurotic.
The acts which the neurotic carries out are either something
experienced or something wished, some unreached yearning. It is part
of human nature that the unattained experience exercises a stronger
driving power than what has been experienced. Experience acts as
a retrospective tendency, craving is prospective. (One might say,
therefore: the most severe traumas are those which have never been
experienced.) The unsatisfied craving is the motive power of most
neuroses. The “world pain” of all those who are weary of life and who
struggle in vain to accomplish the impossible is due to the eternal
craving, the _eternally Lost_, the _perennially Unreachable_. All the
dream fancies of the neurotic are shattered in contact with reality.
For that reason the neurotic overlooks the world’s standards and builds
a world of his own, wherein he is master and attains all his wishes
as dreams. The _unattained experiences_ furnish the material for
_perennial dreams_.
The formation of man’s character traits begins during the first years
of life. He tests his powers upon the surroundings and his environment
furnish him the picture of life. In the eyes of children who are
not self-reliant the father must be a giant because he overawes them
with his genial appearance and his image generates in their soul a
feeling of inferiority which marks them for life. Every child has an
ambition: to excel his father. This wish may express itself first in
the desire to attain father’s size, to be as strong and big as he. But
later the wish shows itself in that quiet but determined competitive
struggle which has always existed between father and son, or mother and
daughter. The strong son takes after the powerful father. But suppose
the father is weak and the mother is the one who dominates the house?
What sort of picture of life becomes imprinted upon the child’s mind
under the circumstances? Can it help believing that women dominate
the world, can he escape taking the attitude either of wishing to be
a woman and rule, or of fleeing from woman when she clashes with his
“will to power” as man?
In the conflict that follows, sexuality becomes mixed up with erotism,
the soul of the child is bewildered, a definite outcome is delayed and
meanwhile the child’s soul is filled with anxiety and doubt.
* * * * *
_Alfred Adler_, who has followed this line of inquiry with great
keenness, has conceived it an important factor in the dynamics of the
neuroses and he has described this picture as “_the male protest_.” All
reactions and protective constructions or fictions of the neurotic,
according to him, lead back to the desire to be “_a complete man_.”
Homosexuality displays this protest under a peculiarly cryptic form.
The homosexual cries out: _I want to be a woman!_ He may even go so far
as to dress himself like a woman and become a transvestite. _Adler_
here gives a far fetched explanation, saying: _this is a male protest
under the use of female means_! He holds that the homosexual attempts
to heighten by this means his feeling of personality; the latter turns
away from woman because he fears his inferiority, he avoids decisions.
That is true of some aspects but not of the whole picture. The problem
of homosexuality as a whole shows _Adler’s_ position to be untenable.
The important thing is that there arises in the child’s soul a wish
which gravitates in the direction of the parallelogram of forces
exhibited within the family circle. If the mother plays the upper rôle,
the wish becomes: _I should like to be like mother! I should like to
dominate and rule as she does!_ Love for the mother increases this
tendency to become identified with her and turns it into a directive
ideal. The child begins at a tender age to imitate its mother, acts
womanly, wants to play with dolls and cook, wears gladly girls’
clothes. The child may overcome these tendencies or it may grow up with
them or return to them later and become a pronounced homosexual. (_Late
Homosexuality._)
For the sake of simplicity I am now speaking of boys. The same effect
may be brought about when a brutal father trods down the mother, the
child sees its mother suffer and comes to look upon his father as an
abhorrent example. Under such circumstances the child’s “_will to
power_” may turn into “_ethical will_.” The child’s wish then is: _I
would not rule and be like father; I would rather be like mother!_ If
the child loves his tyrannical father he may become homosexual and
passive: a woman and a strong man.
These are a few examples taken at random from life. I have brought them
out, because one often hears that homosexuals have had an energetic
mother, and a father who played a submissive rôle. Of course, the
contrary may also be the case. Frequently we hear that the mother was
strongly neurotic.... There are no definite rules in the psychogenesis
of homosexuality. Each case requires an individual solution. That is
why _Sadger’s_ statements on the subject cannot be taken as absolute
axioms. Every third case or so disproves his notions.
_Many paths lead to homosexuality._ It would be impossible to describe
all. We can only get at a few typical examples.
We turn our attention now to the important question: what is the
attitude of the neurotic towards his mother? We have seen that
psychoanalysts correlate homosexuality to the repressed love for the
mother. Let us give a glimpse at my few statistical data. The question:
“Are you specially fond of your mother or your father? Or are you
partial to some brother or sister?” was answered by my 20 homosexuals
as follows:
“Only of mother—mother—no particular preference—both
alike—mother—father—no preference—on the whole, more fond of
mother—love the whole family passionately—father—mother—my
father mother—mother—mother—mother—specially fond of a brother
(indifferent to all the others)—father—mother.”
Approximately one-half confess a greater fondness for the mother.
I have mentioned the preferences in these cases because in one of
them, at least, I am able positively to prove that back of love for
the mother is hidden really a powerful aversion against the father;
another subject had failed to mention his fondness for his sister which
played a tremendous rôle in the development of his homosexuality.
Such a statistical inquiry really requires documentation through
psychoanalysis. But even on the face of the statistical figures we
find a certain percentage of cases showing a greater fondness for the
mother. This is also true of some of the cases in which the predominant
love had been declared in favor of the father.
_Hirschfeld_ holds that the attachment of the urning to his mother is a
common occurrence. He states:
“The homosexual is attracted to one woman with particular tenderness;
_this is his mother_; and here we also find the analogy of a
particularly intimate relationship between the urning daughter and
her father. The homosexual’s attachment to his mother is so typical,
that the _Freudian_ school has described this mother-complex as the
cause of homosexuality. _I hold this deduction for a false one._ The
homosexual does not become an urning because he was so passionately
attached to his mother as a child; on the contrary, he leans towards
the mother instinctively rather than knowingly, at first, this being
the direction of his weakness and peculiarity and often his mother,
also instinctively, makes him her favorite child....”
This conclusion of _Hirschfeld’s_ I find myself unable to accept. The
urning is often the mother’s favorite child before his birth. The
child responds with the most tender love for his mother with whom he
identifies himself in the end. Sometimes the mother wishes a girl and
brings up her boy as one. I know one urning who was never dressed in
pantelets by his mother, who was always kept by her side and whose
mother was in the habit of folding his external genital over with
his skin, saying: _you are a girl_! Even as a grown up boy he was
frequently put in girl’s clothes and he preserved for some time a
tendency to transvestism.
Undoubtedly there are many cases, in which direct love for the mother
has absorbed all love for the female sex.
One urning, for instance, as quoted by _Hirschfeld_, states:
“My mother was everything to me, she was my one best friend, the
_alpha_ and _omega_ of my existence. I had built many pretty plans
for her, desiring to make her comfortable in her old age.... Then,
there came the terrible catastrophe, which nearly wiped out my whole
existence, death robbed me of my much-beloved mother. The report of her
illness, which made me fear the worst, found me in the North of Ireland
and the tortures which I endured during the two days and two nights
that it took me to reach home, could not be described in mere words. On
the train folks avoided me suspecting that I was insane.... For three
weary weeks I took care of my mother day and night, then God took her
from me, and I remained a lonely wanderer, broken in mind and body. It
was a blow from which I could never recover. In the endeavor to forget
I returned to my England to take up my former work but it was useless.
Forget I could not, day and night I was a prey to mental and physical
suffering. I could not stand it any longer. So I returned to the old
home where my people had lived for 100 years. Sometimes I was nearly
insane and felt a little more quiet only when visiting the cemetery
and hovering around my parents’ resting place. Unable to find peace I
decided to travel. In the churches and cathedrals of every City and in
the chapels of every village through which I passed I prayed to God for
the soul of my beloved mother. The gnawing anguish in my heart over the
death of my beloved mother had shattered my nerves all to pieces....
I felt myself paralyzed on account of my deep depression, I could no
longer think, I fell into melancholy although I sometimes tried to
rouse myself. I abandoned all correspondence because no one could write
me a consoling word. When the world which existed between mother and
myself shattered, life ceased to have any interest for me.”
The relationship of the urlind to the father and of the urning to the
mother _Hirschfeld_ summarizes in the following table:
I. _Urning boy_ _Urlind girl_
Prefers girls’ games, avoids Prefers boys’ games, dislikes
characteristic boys’ games, has handwork, confections, is
many girlish features in his ‘boy-like’ in behavior, in acts
character and behavior, Sometimes and, often, in appearance.
also in his appearance. Observers Remark: “She is like a boy!”
remark: “He is like a girl.”
II. _Attitude towards the other sex_