That which I am now to persuade you to, namely, the not excusing of
yourselves, causes a great confusion in me. For it is a very perfect
quality and of great merit; and I ought far better to practise what I
tell you concerning this excellent virtue. I confess myself to be but
little improved in this noble duty. For it is a mark of the deepest and
truest humility to see ourselves condemned without cause, and to be
silent under it. It is a very noble imitation of our Lord. Were I truly
humble, I would desire disesteem, even though having in the matter in
hand given no real offence. Here no bodily strength is needed, my
daughters, nor any one's assistance, but God's. How well is this
written, and how ill is it practised by the writer! Indeed, I never
could make trial of this grace in any matter of consequence, because I
never heard of any one speaking ill of me, but I immediately saw how far
short he came of the full truth. For, if he was wrong or exaggerated in
his particulars, I had offended God much more in other matters that my
detractor knew nothing about. And, methought, God favoured me much in
not proclaiming my secret sins to all men. And, thus, I am very glad
that my detractor should ever report a trifling lie about me, rather than
the terrible truth.
O my Lord, when I remember in how many ways Thou didst suffer detraction
and misrepresentation, who in no way deserved it, I know not where my
senses are when I am in such a haste to defend and excuse myself. Is it
possible that I should desire any one to speak any good of me, or to
think it, when so many ill things were thought and spoken of Thee! What
is this, O Lord; what do we imagine to get by pleasing worms, or being
praised by them? What about being blamed by all men, if only we stand at
last blameless before Thee!