Table Etiquette

The minutiæ of table etiquette offers to onlookers the best evidence

of good or ill-breeding, and in the graceful observance thereof is

displayed all the “difference between dining elegantly and merely

consuming food,” for it is at the table that the ill-bred and the

well-bred man are most strongly contrasted.

How to eat soup, or partake of grapes, and what to do with a cherry

stone, though apparently trivial in themselves, are weighty matters

when taken as an index of social standing. And it is safe to say that

the young man who drank from his saucer, or the young woman who ate

peas with her knife, would court the risk of banishment from good

society.

In regard to the first essentials of table manners we are bound to

consider the laying of the table, the manner of being seated thereat,

the use of the napkin, the proper handling of those most invaluable

implements, knife, fork and spoon, together with a short dissertation

on those older implements, “Adam’s knives and forks.”

The Breakfast Table.

This first repast of the day should always be daintily and appetizingly

spread, and the etiquette there observed, as at all other meals of the

day, should be of a nature to render the observance on more stately

occasions second nature to the members of the family. Children so

trained will find little difficulty in after days as to their table

etiquette.

The table itself should be spread with clean linen, first overlaying

the surface with a sub-cloth of double canton flannel, felting, or

a white blanket that has seen its best days of usefulness. This is

done for the better appearance of the table linen, for the deadening

of sound, and the protection of the table from the heated dishes. The

table linen for home use need not be of the finest; cleanliness being,

after all, the chief requisite.

[Illustration: ETIQUETTE OF THE TABLE.]

Before the mistress of the house stands the tray covered with a large

napkin, or a prettily etched tray-cloth. This is filled with cups and

saucers. The coffee-urn is at her right hand with cream, sugar, spoons,

and waste-bowl convenient. In front of the master of the house is

spread a large napkin with the corner to the center of the table. An

ornamental carving cloth may be used in its place. On this is placed

whatever dish of meat it is his province to serve. On the opposite

side of the table dishes of bread and any hot breakfast rolls or gems

balance one another. The dish of potatoes stands close to, and at the

right of, the platter, ready to be served with the meat. Any other

vegetable served at the same meal should be placed at the left of the

platter.

Mats are wholly a style of the past. Where the dish is very hot, or

liable to soil the cloth, fringed squares of heavy linen, etched or

embroidered, take their place.

The castor, too, is banished from tables polite, and its place may be

taken by a few flowers, or bits of vine, in a simple vase. The butter

dish and the individual butters should be placed by the side of the

one who is to serve it. Fancy sauce and vinegar cruets, and salts and

peppers are grouped at each end of the table, sometimes on small trays

of hammered brass.

Knives, Forks and Napkins.

Heated plates are placed before the carver, and the carving knife (well

sharpened) and fork are placed, with their rest at his right. On any

occasion when plates are laid at each place, turn them face up. To the

right of the plate is the knife with edge turned from the person to use

it. As to the fork, authorities differ, some contending that it should

be placed on the right hand, and the knife next, with sharp edge turned

from the user. This latter fashion is best at simple meals where but

one knife and fork are used. Others contend that the fork should be

laid at the left. This latter fashion should be followed where several

knives and forks are necessary for an elaborate dinner.

The simply-folded napkin is at the left hand. The glass and individual

butter plate are placed near the point of the knife. To avoid waiting

where there is any haste, the butters may be filled before the family

are seated.

If oatmeal, or any porridge, is to be served, the dish should be placed

upon the table before the house mistress, together with the requisite

number of small bowls, or saucers, in which she serves it, adding sugar

and cream, or passing these, as seems best to her. Afterwards these

plates and the dish itself should be removed, when the hot plates and

the remainder of the breakfast should be brought in.

Where there is fruit, as is the case in very nice homes, it is to form

a third course; all other dishes are to be removed before the fruit

is placed upon the table, and each person provided with a small plate

with a doily, or fruit napkin, laid upon it, a silver fruit knife,

and possibly a finger-bowl set upon the doily; also a teaspoon or

orange-spoon when oranges are on the table. If berries are served fruit

saucers will be required. In busy homes the fruit is frequently placed

upon the table at the beginning of the repast and served at its end

without change of plates. Many persons prefer to begin their breakfast

with fruit. The napery at breakfast may be colored if so desired.

The Dinner Table.

The dinner table for home meals is laid very much after the fashion of

the breakfast table with the omission of the server. If there is to be

more than one course, such as a salad, another fork must be added, in

which case it will be best to place the forks at the left of the plate.

If there is fish, another extra fork, or else the appropriate little

fish knife and fork, is demanded. If a fork only is used, the flakes of

fish may be pushed upon the fork by means of a bit of bread.

A half slice of bread should lie in, or beside, the folded napkin. The

soup tureen is placed before the mistress of the house, together with

the soup dishes. Into each of these she puts a ladle full of soup and

passes it along. Where there is a servant to wait, he, or she, takes

each dish from her hand and serves those at table, always passing to

their left hand in so doing. When the soup is removed, the under plates

should also be taken and hot plates brought in for the next course.

The meat is placed before the carver, dishes of vegetables flanking

either side. The plates are filled and passed, or else handed around by

a servant. Sometimes the meat only is put on the plates and the dishes

of vegetables are passed from one to another at the table or handed

around by a servant. Do not place a quantity of small vegetable dishes

at each plate; it is too suggestive of hotel and restaurant life; peas

and some other similarly cooked vegetables are an exception to this

rule. Side dishes, such as pickles, etc., are placed on the table when

it is first laid.

If a salad is to form the next course, all the dishes should be carried

out, the meat being taken first, then the dishes of vegetables, after

that, plates and butter plates. A tray is much better to transfer all

articles except large platters. Never permit a maid to scrape the

contents of one plate into another, with a clatter of knives and forks,

and then triumphantly bear off the entire pile at once. The salad is

to be eaten with a silver fork, and is served with rolls or biscuit.

Where the home dinner is simple the salad is frequently served in small

dishes and passed during the progress of the repast.

Before dessert is brought on, all table furniture should be removed

save glasses and water bottle, and the cloth brushed free from crumbs

with crumb-tray and napkin, or scraper, in preference to a brush, which

is apt to soil the cloth. The dessert is then to be placed on the

table and the mistress serves the pastry or pudding on small plates or

saucers which are placed before her. Tea, coffee, or chocolate, may now

be handed around, but never sooner. At a very ceremonious dinner they

appear last of all.

If fruit is to follow the pastry, fruit plates, arranged as for

breakfast, must be substituted for the dessert plates, as soon as the

guests are done with these.

It is to be expected that each family will adapt the above outline to

suit their own needs, omitting such features as they have neither time

to devote to nor servants to accomplish. The ideas here given, however,

are suitable as the nucleus of the most elaborate dinner, or may be

simplified to fit the plainest repast.

The Supper Table.

The table for supper is laid very much after the general plan given for

breakfast, with the exception of the oatmeal. If the tea is made at

the table, which is the daintiest way, the other adjuncts of the tray

must be supplemented by a dainty brass or bronze hot-water kettle swung

over an alcohol lamp, and a pretty tea caddy. Lovely silver caddies,

with lock and key, are to be had and make an appropriate wedding gift.

A “cosy” or thick wadded cap for setting over the teapot, to keep the

heat in, is another pretty essential, which may be made as ornamental

as is liked. At supper cold meats are usually served, and cake is

taken with the fruit, while vegetables, unless those served in salad

form, are omitted.

The Lunch Table.

In cities, the lunch takes the place of the twelve o’clock dinner, just

as the late city dinner replaces the supper, dear to country hearts.

The table for lunch is laid much like that for supper, the dishes being

all placed at the table at one time, and the ladies of the family,

for to them it is usually devoted, gathering around it without the

formality of a servant.

Signs of Ill-Breeding.

The order of laying the table, and serving the dishes having been

given, it now remains to give some information as to the conduct of

those at the table. This is rendered more necessary from the fact that

many well-dressed, and apparently well-bred people, sin so grievously

against the simplest laws of table etiquette, as not only to display

their own want of breeding, but to actually annoy those about them by

their sins of omission and commission.

The most important table implements are knife, fork, and spoon, and

with these we begin, in the order of their prominence.

The Fork.

The fork having, as one writer happily suggests, “subjugated the

knife,” demands our first attention. The subjugation of the knife is

so complete in this country, England, France and Austria that any

attempt to give the knife undue prominence at table is looked upon

as a glaring offense against good taste. This aversion to the use of

the knife probably arose first from the more agreeable sensation to

the lips that is produced by the delicate tines of a fork in contrast

to the broad blade of a knife. Also the fact that the steel of which

knives were, and are still, to some extent, made, imparts, by contact,

a disagreeable flavor to many articles of food.

In the use of the knife and fork daintiness should be cultivated.

They should be held with the handles resting in the palms of the hands

when cutting, or separating food; but, in conveying food to the mouth,

the handle of the fork should not be kept against the palm, as to do

so would give it an awkward appearance in lifting to the lips. Fork

and knife should be held firmly but without any apparent exertion of

strength.

Never strive to load the fork with meat and vegetables at the same

time. To do so is to commit an offence against manners and digestion,

and never push the food from the fork with the knife. Take upon the

fork what it will easily carry and no more.

Oyster forks are usually provided when oysters on the shell are served.

Either the right or the left hand may be employed in lifting them to

the lips. The shell should be steadied with the other hand. The fork

may be handled with either hand, the right being more generally used.

It is well, however, to be trained in the use of both hands, thus

avoiding the slight awkwardness attending the constant changing of the

fork from one hand to the other.

[Illustration: THE CORRECT POSITION FOR HOLDING KNIFE AND FORK.]

In using the fork in the left hand it should be lifted to the lips,

tines pointing downward. The fork, which should convey but a very

moderate amount of food, should always be carried to the mouth in a

position as nearly parallel to it as possible. This does away with the

thrusting motion and the awkward sweep of the elbow that is so annoying

to the onlooker.

The fork is also used to convey back to the plate bits of bone or other

substances unfit to swallow. Eject them quietly upon the fork and

quickly deposit them upon the edge of the plate.

The softer cheeses are eaten with a fork. As to the harder varieties,

some use the fork and others break with the fork and convey to the

mouth with the fingers.

Use the fork to break up a potato on your plate; do not touch it with

the knife. Ices, stiffly preserved fruits, etc., are all eaten with a

fork. In fact, the fork is to convey all food to the mouth that is not

so liquid in its nature as to require the use of a spoon.

The Spoon.

The spoon comes next as an article of importance at the table. Soups,

all thinly cooked vegetables, canned and stewed fruits, peaches and

cream, melons, oranges by some, very thick chocolate, Roman punch, and

other dishes that common sense will dictate at the moment, are to be

partaken of by its aid. One should _drink_ tea and coffee, however, and

not spoonful it. Use the teaspoon to gently stir up and dissolve the

sugar in the cup, then lay it in the saucer and lift the cup to the

lips by the handle. Never be guilty of leaving the spoon in the cup and

compassing it with one or more fingers in carrying it to the lips.

In partaking of soup the spoon should be swept through the liquid away

from the person, lifted to the mouth, and the soup taken noiselessly

from the side of the spoon. In thus lifting any liquids from the

further side of the dish, or cup, there is time for any drop adhering

to the outside to fall in the dish before carrying to the lips.

Only to gentlemen possessed of a luxuriant mustache is it permitted to

take soup from the point of the spoon, always providing they can do so

skilfully and without an awkward use of the arm. The gold or silver

spoons for after-dinner coffee are very small, as befits the dainty

cups of egg-shell china.

The Knife.

Properly, the knife may be said to have no use at the table save to

assist the fork in separating food into morsels fit for mastication.

Never, no, _never_, permit it to be introduced into the mouth upon any

occasion whatever. To do so is the height of ill-breeding.

Adam’s Knives and Forks.

There are a number of things that the most fashionable and well-bred

people now eat at the dinner table with their fingers. They are:

Olives, to which a fork should never be applied; asparagus, whether

hot or cold, when served whole, as it should be; lettuce, which, when

served in whole leaves, should be dipped in the dressing or in a little

salt; celery, which may be properly placed upon the tablecloth beside

the plate.

To these may be added strawberries, when served with the stems on, as

they are in most elegant houses. Dip them in cream and then in sugar

(sometimes sugar only is served), holding by the stem end and eating in

one or more bites, according to size.

Bread, toast, and all tarts and small cakes; fruit of all kinds, except

melons and preserves, which are eaten with a spoon; cheese, except the

softer varieties; all these are eaten with the fingers, even by the

most fastidious people. Even the leg, or other small piece of a bird is

taken up daintily in the fingers of one hand at fashionable dinners.

Water cress is taken in the fingers. It is usually served upon a

shallow dish or a basket, a fringed napkin covering bottom and sides.

Artichokes, also, are eaten with the fingers. Lump sugar may be taken

with the fingers, if no tongs are provided. If a plate of hot, unbroken

biscuit is passed, one may be broken off with the fingers.

Napkin and Finger-Bowl.

Napkins vary in size, from the diminutive, fancy doily, for ornament

rather than use, through all gradations, up to the largest sized dinner

napkin. In using these do not spread over the entire lap, nor fasten

under the chin bib-fashion, nor in the button-hole, and, if a man, do

not tuck in the vest pockets. All these are fashions which should have

been outgrown in the nursery. Simply unfold and lay carelessly in the

lap on one knee, use to wipe the lips lightly, or the finger tips when

necessary.

Some very exquisite people manage to eject fruit seeds, or skins, or

anything unfit to swallow, from the lips into the napkin, by pressing

it against the mouth, then dropping them skilfully from its folds upon

the plate. All such careful observances tend to remove, as much as

possible, from the modern repast, the prosaic, and unromantic ideas

suggested by the idea of eating.

Finger-bowls are brought on the table after the dessert is removed

and before the fruit is served. They are usually placed before each

individual on the fancy glass or china plate that is to be used for

the fruit, a fancy doily being laid between the bowl and plate. Remove

bowl and doily at once to the right hand side, leaving plate free for

the fruit. This doily is frequently an elaborate article of fancy work,

not for use but ornament. Hence, unless its place is taken by a fruit

napkin or smaller napkin, as is sometimes done, passed around before

dessert, the dinner napkin is used.

Avoiding Fruit Stains.

Some hostesses dislike to have fruit stains upon their elegant dinner

napkins; hence, the custom of supplying smaller napkins at the

beginning of dessert. This, however, cumbers the dinner with much

serving and is not to be recommended. If done, the smaller napkins are

to be passed around, and the large ones permitted to remain.

At the close of the dinner the napkin is not to be folded, but left

lying loosely at the side of the plate. If a guest in the house,

however, unless fresh napkins are supplied at every meal, they should

be folded and placed in the napkin ring.

The rule for using napkins is that they be touched gently to the lips,

and the finger-tips wiped daintily upon them, but as “nice customs

courtesy to great kings,” so, to those gentlemen possessing luxuriant

mustaches, a greater freedom is permitted in its use.

The finger-bowls are to be two-thirds full of slightly warmed water,

and a rose geranium leaf or a slice of lemon should float upon the

surface of each. The fingers of one hand at a time are to be dipped in

the water, rubbing the leaf or lemon between them to remove any odor of

food, and then dried upon the napkin.

Sometimes, after partaking of meats, one may dip a corner of the napkin

in the finger-bowl, and, allowing it to drop back of the dry portion of

the napkin, wipe the lips with it. A gentleman is permitted to moisten

and wipe his mustache in the same manner. Remember, always to exercise

the greatest care not to have the operation a very visible one, as it

is not particularly attractive to the onlooker.

A small glass of perfumed water is sometimes placed in the center of

the finger-bowl for this purpose. Lift it to the lips and sip slightly,

being careful not to have the appearance of taking it for a beverage,

and immediately dry the lips upon the napkin.

While eating meats, etc., use the napkin before touching the lips to a

glass, else the crystal edge may present a very disagreeable spectacle

to one’s neighbors.

General Table Etiquette.

In seating one’s self at table, assume a comfortable position, neither

so close as to be awkward, nor so far away as to endanger the clothing

by dropping food in its passage from table to lips. Sit upright, and do

not bend over to take each mouthful of food.

If a gentleman is accompanied by a lady, he should draw her chair out

from the table, and, when she is seated, assist her in putting it back

in position, unless in some public dining place, where this office will

be assumed by a waiter.

On being seated, remove the roll, or piece of bread, from the napkin

(the best form for this bread is in blocks four inches thick and about

three inches long), unfold the napkin, lay it upon the knee, and

quietly wait your turn to be served. Never handle, or play with, any

articles on the table; it bespeaks ill-breeding. Never drum on the

table with the fingers.

As soon as a bowl of soup, or a plate of oysters is offered you, begin,

without any appearance of haste, to eat. This facilitates serving, as,

by the time the last are served, the first will have finished their

half-ladleful of soup (which is all that society allows) and the waiter

may begin to remove the first course. The old custom of waiting until

everyone was served before beginning is no long countenanced, since

“soup is nothing, if not hot,” and by waiting it is decidedly cooled.

Never, unless requested so to do, pass a plate on to a neighbor that

has been handed to you. It is supposed that the carver knows what

he intends for each guest. When dishes are passed, help yourself as

quickly as possible, and never insist upon some one having it first. If

a gentleman, you may help the lady next you from its contents, if she

so desire.

Always take the food offered in a course. Quietly wait and talk while

others eat, rather than call the attention of the table to your

likes and dislikes, and disarrange the whole order of serving. If a

gentleman, see that the lady you have brought down wants for nothing,

and let the lady, on her side, take care not to entirely monopolize the

attention of her escort.

How to Treat Waiters.

If, for any cause, the services of a waiter are desired, catch his eye

quietly, and on his approach, state your own or the lady’s wishes, in

a low tone of voice. This same rule of conduct will apply to public

places, where the knocking of spoons against cups, and other noisy

attempts to gain the attention of a waiter cannot be too greatly

discouraged.

Never thank a servant for passing any of the dishes or wines; that is

his business; but for any personal service, such as picking up a fallen

napkin, or replacing a dropped knife by another, it is proper to return

a murmured “Thank you,” not “Thanks.”

A lady should never look up in a waiter’s face while giving an order,

refusing wine, or thanking him for any special service. This savors of

familiarity, and should be avoided. A man, however, that is attentive

will see that a lady has none of these things to do.

At table one may talk to one’s neighbor on either side, or to those

directly opposite, if the center decorations are not too high; but it

is absolutely ill-bred to lean across an individual to converse with

some one on the other side. Of course, at a small dinner, or at the

family table, conversation is expected to be general. Never attempt

to converse while the mouth is filled with food, and never _have_ the

mouth filled with food; it is bad both for manners and digestion.

Decline any dish passed that you do not wish with “Thank you, not

any;” if by a waiter, “Not any,” is sufficient. Do not enter into any

explanations as to your tastes, nor the whys and wherefores of your

refusal. That interests no one but yourself.

If wine is served, do not call the attention of everyone to the fact

that you do not drink it. The table of a friend, to which you have

had the honor of an invitation, is no place for a temperance lecture.

Do not reverse the glass; it is a needlessly conspicuous act; simply

motion the waiter away with your finger on the edge of the glass, or

shake your head. Some, still more careful, allow a glass to be filled

for them at first, and, by letting it stand untasted, show to the

waiter that further offers are useless. If a lady does not wish more

wine than remains in her glass, let her make a little motion of dissent

when the waiter is about to replenish it, otherwise a good glass of

wine is wasted. In drinking wine, lift the glass by the stem, instead

of by the bowl. Young ladies, if they drink wine, had best content

themselves with one glassful. “Rosebuds” should not indulge. The latest

dictum declares that sparkling wines should be drunk at once and not

sipped.

Sundry Rules and Hints.

Never display any hesitation in selecting food. If your host asks what

part of a fowl you prefer, at once give your choice. To say you have

none is an annoyance. Never tip the plate in order to dip up the last

spoonful of soup. In partaking of soup, or imbibing any liquid, do so

noiselessly. Be sure not to spread the elbows while using knife and

fork. Keep them close to your side while cutting meats.

Never try to dispose of the last mouthful of soup, the last morsel of

food. “It is not expected,” says one writer, “that your plate should be

sent away cleansed by your gastronomic exertions.” On no account cool

any drink or soup with the breath. Never pour tea or coffee into the

saucer to cool it. Never drink from the saucer; it is an unpardonable

sin.

With salads small knifes and forks are often furnished, where the

salad is served uncut with dressing. Again, the uncut leaves are taken

in the fingers and dipped in the salt or dressing. The roll is to be

eaten with the salad.

Individual salts are an American fashion. If used, it is proper to take

salt from them with the knife, if they are the open salts. In the most

stylish circles great favor is shown to ample silver _salieres_ with

their accompanying salt spoons or shovels. Salt, thus taken, should be

deposited upon the left hand rim of the plate. The custom followed by

so many of depositing little piles of salt on the tablecloth is very

annoying to the hostess, as giving her table a shabby look during the

removal of courses. Salt is the only condiment placed upon the table at

a dinner; the others are passed with the course demanding their use.

Neither is butter put upon the table at an elaborate dinner; the small

square of bread or the roll furnished, are to be eaten without.

Use of Knife and Fork.

Peppers and salts are to be shaken with one hand. Never use the other

to in any wise expedite the distribution of their contents.

Never cut up all the meat on your plate at once, in morsels fit for

eating; to do so savors of the nursery. But, on the other hand, do not

seem to be perpetually using your knife and fork at table. Be sure not

to insert fork or spoon too far into the mouth. Never turn the spoon

over in the mouth in the effort to free it entirely from its contents.

Do not let the most adhesive of food betray you into this most

disagreeable of habits. Take small mouthfuls and there will be less

danger of this occurring. Handle knife and fork carefully, so as not to

cause any unnecessary clatter at table.

Waiters pass all food to the left, and all dishes are removed at the

left. Wine is passed at the right. All dishes that are being passed

must be held low enough so that the guests can help themselves without

difficulty.

When there is a waiter to remove the dishes from the table, the guests

should never assist in the work by piling small dishes, etc., upon

their plate. Simply place knife and fork upon the plate.

In passing the plate for a second helping, remove knife and fork and

hold easily by the handles. Never ask for a second helping of soup,

or of anything at a course dinner. At an informal repast, where there

is but one principal dish, it is proper to pass the plate for more. A

second helping of fish chowder is allowable, but not of soup.

Food should be masticated quietly, and with the lips closed. Drink all

liquids without the slightest sound.

Never butter bread that is to be eaten with soup. To do this is only

less vulgar than to thicken the soup with the crumbs of bread. Simply

eat the bit of bread with the soup. Take the soup that is brought you,

even if you do not care for it, so as not to interrupt the order of the

dinner by a refusal.

Disgusting Habits.

Lift cups by the handles, and wineglasses by the stem, and do not tip

them up, until almost reversed upon the face, in order to drain the

last drop. It is not necessary, and really bad form to completely empty

a wineglass.

Never pick the teeth at the table. Such habits are well calculated to

disgust sensitive people, and should be performed in private as much as

any other portion of our daily toilet.

Never rinse the mouth with the last mouthful of coffee, tea or water;

nothing can be more disagreeable.

Bread should be broken by the fingers in pieces sufficient for

mouthfuls, as it is needed. Never butter a slice and cut with a knife;

butter each piece as needed. Butter should never be eaten in large

quantities.

Cake is broken in bits and eaten from the fingers. Very rich, crumbly,

or filled cake may be eaten with a fork; tarts also, unless they are of

a nature to permit the use of the fingers, and pastry of all kinds, as

well as puddings not too liquid in form.

Muffins can be eaten from the plate with a fork, or they can be torn

apart, buttered, and eaten while held in the fingers, like toasted

bread. Hot gems can be torn apart and partaken of in the same way.

Never take one piece of bread or cake and then reject it for another.

If any little accident should occur at table, do not apologize for it;

let it pass without note, and it will be apt to escape observation. If

there should be anything accidently spilled upon the cloth, the waiter

should quickly remove the traces, and spread a fresh napkin over the

soiled spot.

Fruits.

Apples are pared with a silver knife at table, and eaten in small

sections from the fingers. There is often much time devoted to paring

fruit by holding it on a fork, not touching it with the fingers. This

is unnecessary, unless when a gentleman is preparing the fruit for a

lady, or where the peach or pear is too juicy to do otherwise.

Grapes are plucked from their stems and the pulp squeezed into the

mouth, while the fingers hold the skin which is then laid on one side

the plate. This is far daintier than to put the fruit in the mouth and

then eject the skin into the hand or upon the plate. Bananas are peeled

and eaten from the plate with a fork. Oranges are skinned, divided into

sections, and eaten from the fingers, rejecting the seeds into the

hand. Some prefer, however, to cut the end of the orange and eat the

pulp with a spoon. Pineapple is the only fruit that must be eaten with

a knife and fork.

Silver knives and forks must always be used with fruits, as steel

becomes colored by contact with the fruit juices and imparts a

disagreeable flavor.

Green corn, in ear, is a stumbling-block, and perhaps one’s best plan

would be to conform to the custom of the table where you may be.

In eating it directly from the ear hold it in one hand only. Some

hostesses provide small doilies with which to hold the ear.

If a guest is pleased with any particular dish on the table, a delicate

compliment upon its unusual excellence is always pleasing to the

hostess.