“Across the walnuts and the wine,”
all rise, and the gentlemen remain standing until the ladies leave the
room. The gentleman who had the honor of escorting the hostess into the
table, walks with her to the door; here she pauses to allow the host’s
companion to pass through, when the host, who has escorted her thither,
returns to the table, the other gentlemen following his example. The
hostess is the last lady to leave the room, whereupon her escort closes
the door and returns to the table, where the gentlemen group themselves
carelessly at one end of the table, for that half hour of conversation
and cigars. Where wine is not used the gentlemen frequently remain
behind for smoking, and some hosts immediately withdraw with them to
the smoking-room. Coffee is frequently served in the drawing-room,
where the ladies have had their little chat after the return thither of
the gentlemen.
Informal and Easy.
The hostess, assisted by a daughter, or a young lady friend, usually
pours the beverage, and the gentlemen pass it around to the ladies,
thus forming the most delightfully informal groups for conversation.
Sugar is passed by a servant, or else the hostess drops two or three
lumps of it in each saucer, a sugar bowl, with sugar tongs, standing
beside her. Cream is not the correct thing for after-dinner coffee.
Very many hostesses, however, prefer to have coffee and fruits
finish the table menu, after which the entire party retire to the
drawing-room, where, for the half or three-quarters of an hour
preceding their departure, soft music from some hidden orchestra may
be permitted to fill the air with harmony. Occasionally, a little
programme is arranged of music and song, to fill this interval. But, in
many cases, and wisely, conversation is the preferred entertainment.
French Terms.
Good taste now dictates that the bill of fare, where one is printed
or written, should be couched in the “King’s English,” yet, one is so
frequently thrown in positions where a knowledge of the French terms
so often used in such cases is somewhat of necessity, that a short
glossary of the same may be useful:
_Menu_ Bill of fare.
_Café et noir_ Black coffee.
_Café au lait_ Coffee with milk.
A dinner begins with,
_Huitres_ Oysters.
Followed by,
_Potage_ Soup,
_Hors d’œuvres_ Dainty dishes,
_Poisson_ Fish,
_Entremets_ Vegetables,
_Roti_ Roast,
_Entrées_ Dishes after roast,
_Gibier_ Game,
_Salades_ Salads,
_Fruits et dessert_ Fruits and dessert,
_Fromage_ Cheese,
_Café_ Coffee.
Right or Left Arm?
This is a disputed question, for the solution of which each party gives
valid reasons. Most gentlemen prefer to give the right arm, since the
seating of the lady is at the right side always; but many, to preserve
the feudal significance of the custom that bade the good knight keep
his sword arm free for defence, if need be, offer the left. Since, too,
dinner gowns have usually a train to be managed as best it may, ladies
also prefer the tender of the left arm, as that leaves their own left
arm free to manage the trailing, silken folds. The right arm, however,
has the balance of favor, though gentlemen are bound to follow the
example of their host as he precedes them to the dining-room.
Further Hints.
Members of families should never be seated together. This rule has
no exceptions. A gentleman should never forget the wants of the lady
under his charge, but the lady should remember not to monopolize his
attention exclusively. The gentleman is supposed to be particularly
attentive to the lady at his right, to pass the lady on his left
anything with which she may be unsupplied, and to be agreeable to the
lady opposite.
He will, even if a young man, feel it a mark of respect when he is
invited to take an elderly lady down, but if the hostess is careful for
the happiness of her guests, he will probably find a young lady at his
left hand. In selecting the number of guests, care should be taken that
it is not such as shall bring two ladies or two gentlemen together. Odd
numbers will do this, while even will not.
American Dinner Services.
The American dinner service is much more simple, and is the one usually
adopted in modest establishments in this country. One well-trained maid
should be able to render all the assistance required at the table.
Given the before-mentioned maid, a lady can, with previous management,
give a dinner as elegantly, and perhaps with more perfect hospitality,
than where the whole affair is relegated to the hands of an experienced
caterer.
In laying the table the same manner of arrangement is to be observed as
for dinner _a la Russe_, save that there are more dishes on the board
and the decorations are placed with a view to leaving all the space
possible.
Celery is now served in low, flat dishes, and these, together with
olives and various relishes, may be placed on the table in all manner
of dainty, ornamental dishes. Large spoons for the next course are also
supplied.
Oysters are in place when the guests enter the room, and the servant
sometimes passes brown bread to eat with them; this is cut thin,
buttered and folded. After passing this it is replaced on the
sideboard; water is then poured, when, beginning with the oyster plate
of the guest at the right of the host, she removes it, and the others,
as rapidly as possible, leaving the under plate.
Soup tureen, ladle, and plates, or bowls, are then placed before the
hostess and the maid, standing at her left hand, takes the plates one
by one, and passes them at the left hand of guests. This accomplished,
the tureen is removed, and the host, having finished his soup, is ready
for the fish, which is placed before him together with hot plates, and
potatoes in some form, accompanied or not by a salad.
Directions to Waiters.
The servant then proceeds to remove the soup-plates and the plates
beneath. By this time the host has divided the fish, and, standing at
his left hand, the maid takes the plates as he fills them, and passes
them, serving first the guest at his right. A piece of fish, a potato,
and a little fish sauce, are placed on each plate. If both salad and
potato are served at the same course, place the salad dish before the
hostess and let her serve it upon small, extra plates or dishes. If
salad alone is served, it is usually placed upon the plate with the
fish.
The fish-platter should now be removed. The plates may also be taken
when it is seen there is no more need of them, beginning with those
first served, as it is presumed they will have first finished, since
it is etiquette for each guest to begin eating so soon as the plate is
placed before him.
The next course is the roast. While the host is carving this, one or
more varieties of vegetables are set at hand. Portions of the meat
and the accompanying vegetable are placed on the same plate, and the
servant passes them in the same order as before, and immediately
follows them with the second or third vegetable dish, if two kinds have
been placed on the plate. This is where the gentleman sitting next the
lady on the host’s right can help her and then himself, afterwards
moving it as she passes the plates, so that the other gentlemen can do
likewise.
If a double course is served, which is hardly advisable, save at very
large dinners, the lighter dish is placed before the hostess, and the
servant presents each plate to her for a portion before passing it.
After this the courses do not move so rapidly and the maid remains
standing a little back at the left of the hostess’ chair where she can
easily observe the slightest signal. The hostess signs when the plates
are to be removed, and the principal dishes are allowed to remain until
the course is finished.
In removing courses no piling up of dishes should be allowed. One plate
in each hand is all that can be conveniently managed. After the fish,
if other forks are not on the table, they must be supplied for the next
course. After the plates are removed, the roast and smaller dishes
follow.
Salads and Desserts.
Sherbet, or wines, are served here, if at all. The game, or poultry,
comes next, salads or jelly accompanying it. The salad is placed before
the hostess. If salad is served in a separate course, it is usually
accompanied by cheese, and sometimes by small pieces of brown bread,
thinly buttered and folded.
This course finished, everything is removed from the table—plates,
dishes, relishes, etc.—crumbs brushed, and the principal dessert-dish
placed before the hostess together with every requisite for serving
it. The maid then passes the tart or pudding same as the other dishes,
taking two plates at a time, and beginning with the two ladies on right
and left of host, taking the others in order.
Each person, on receiving a plate in any course, begins to eat, since
this facilitates the serving of the dinner and gives warm dishes to
all. The maid, during this course, quietly arranges the fruit-plates,
finger-bowls, and the after-dinner coffees and tiny spoons upon the
sideboard, when she is ready to remove the dishes, and place the
fruit-plates in position. The coffees are then put at each guest’s
right, unless they are to be served afterward in the drawing-room, and
the dinner service is virtually ended.
If wine is offered, it is served between the courses, the host helping
the lady at his right, and asking the gentleman next to do the same,
and so on around the table.
Both host and hostess should have been able to keep up an interest in
the conversation at table, and not to betray the slightest anxiety
as to the success of the affair. Host or hostess should never make
disparaging remarks as to the quality of dishes; and still less should
they refer to their costliness, and should know beforehand as to the
edge of the carving-knife, as the use of a steel is not permissible.
The foregoing rules will be found to embody the simplest and most
correct method of serving a dinner _a la American_.
Dinner Dress.
Ladies dress elegantly, and in any manner, or color, that fancy or
becomingness may dictate. Corsages, however, while open at the neck in
either square, or heart-shaped fashion, are not as low-cut as for a
ball-dress, while the sleeves are usually of demi-length. Gloves are
always worn, and not removed until seated at the table. They are not
resumed afterward unless dancing follows.
Very young ladies wear less expensive toilets of white or delicately
tinted wools, or light-weight silks.
Gentlemen are expected to wear the conventional evening dress. To
be gloved or not to be gloved is a vexed question with them. It is
well to be provided with a pair of light gloves, and let your own
self-possession and the example of others decide for you at the moment.
A gentleman faultlessly gloved cannot go far wrong.
Coming and Going.
Promptness in arriving is a virtue, but remember that you have no claim
upon the time of your host or hostess, until ten or fifteen minutes
before the hour appointed, and, if you inadvertently arrive too soon
you should remain in the dressing-room until very near the hour.
Departure is from half to three-quarters of an hour after the repast,
and no matter what the entertainment, eleven o’clock should find every
dinner guest departed.
Functions.
The practice of calling the ordinary reception, ball, party or dinner
a “function” is simply a bad habit. It comes to us from England, where
a confusion of ideas has made this word the popular synonym for any
social happening. The error in England is perhaps pardonable, for the
reason that very many of the society performances there are actually
functions, and in course of time the unlearned and the careless
have come to call every society performance a function. The royal
“drawing-rooms” (so-called) are functions, and the Lord Mayor’s dinner
is a function—in fine, that is a function which is “a course of action
peculiarly pertaining to any public office in church or state.”
The receptions and dinners which, in his official capacity as President
of the World’s Fair, Mr. Higinbotham gave were functions. But the
receptions, dinners, high teas, given by people holding no official
position whatsoever, do not partake of the nature of “functions.”
Dinner Favors.
Favors may be simple or elaborate, as the purse of the giver may
dictate. Appropriateness and simplicity, however, show better taste
than the extraordinary vagaries in which some indulge.
Among the really admirable selections which are offered by dealers
of many sorts, nothing is better than the bonbonnieres shown by
confectioners of the higher grade. They are delightful in color,
exquisite in design, and while they are made into receptacles for
sweets for the time being, they can later be turned to a dozen more
permanent uses. One design which is, perhaps, the most elegant of all,
takes the form of an opera bag. It is made of the heaviest cream-white
silk and has embroidered on it in dainty ribbon work forget-me-nots,
tiny rosebuds, or jessamine. At the top it is finished with the popular
extension clasp of fine burnished gilt, and when in use as a favor is
lined with tinted paper and filled with the finest chocolates or with
candied violets.
Slippers, too, are seen, and, while not of glass, are suggestive of
Cinderella’s tiny foot. They are crocheted of fine colored cord, are
stiffened and molded over a form, then fitted with a bag of silk and
tied with ribbons of the same shade. Like the bags, they are made the
excuse of sweets, and, like them, they add to the decorative effect,
for they stand in coquettish fashion before each cover and challenge
the admiration inspired in the prince of fairy legend.
Books and “booklets” are much in vogue and make as acceptable favors as
any that can be desired if only selected with judgment and with care.
Small volumes of verse bound in vellum are always good. Single poems
from any one of the recognized poets put up in artistic booklet form
are as nearly perfect as favors can be. Book covers, too, are good, and
some bookmarks are shown that are excellent both in color and in their
evident ability to withstand the usage they are sure to get if they are
allowed to do any service at all.
One clever hostess who gave a dinner, and who handles her brush
unusually well, devised a book cover and leaflet combined that proved a
great success. She had the covers made in the regulation size of pale
sage chamois skin and added the decoration herself. She painted each
in the flower that the guest loved best, for her feminine friends, and
each in some convenient design for the men, and across the corner was
the name of each in quaint gold letters. She folded heavy parchment
paper in booklet form, and with her brush wrote in silver bronze
selections from the wit and wisdom of the ages. Then she slipped the
miniature books within the covers and left the brilliant thoughts
that they contained to start the conversational ball. Her dinner was
pronounced a great success, and it was remarked by many that there was
none of that awkward silence which so often precedes the soup.