MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION
THURSDAY, APRIL 13.
We played at cards last night till supper-time. When that was over,
every one sought to engage Sir Charles in discourse. I will give you
some particulars of our conversation, as I did of one before.
Lord W---- began it with a complaint of the insolence and profligateness
of servants. What he said, was only answered by Sir Charles, with the
word Example, example, my good lord, repeated.
You, Sir Charles, replied my lord, may indeed insist upon the force of
example; for I cannot but observe, that all those of yours, whom I have
seen, are entitled to regard. They have the looks of men at ease, and of
men grateful for that ease: they know their duty, and need not a
reminding look. A servant of yours, Sir Charles, looks as if he would
one day make a figure as a master. How do you manage it?
Perhaps I have been peculiarly fortunate in worthy servants. There is
nothing in my management deserving the attention of this company.
I am going to begin the world anew, nephew. Hitherto, servants have been
a continual plague to me. I must know how you treat them.
I treat them, my lord, as necessary parts of my family. I have no
secrets, the keeping or disclosing of which might give them
self-importance. I endeavour to set them no bad example. I am never
angry with them but for wilful faults: if those are not habitual, I shame
them into amendment, by gentle expostulation and forgiveness. If they
are not capable of a generous shame, and the faults grow habitual, I part
with them; but with such kindness, as makes their fellow-servants blame
them, and take warning. I am fond of seeking occasions to praise them:
and even when they mistake, if it be with a good intention, they have my
approbation of the intention, and my endeavours to set them right as to
the act. Sobriety is an indispensable qualification for my service; and
for the rest, if we receive them not quite good, we make them better than
they were before. Generally speaking, a master may make a servant what
he pleases. Servants judge by example, rather than precept, and almost
always by their feelings. One thing more permit me to add; I always
insist upon my servants being kind and compassionate to one another. A
compassionate heart cannot habitually be an unjust one. And thus do I
make their good-nature contribute to my security, as well as quiet.
My lord was greatly pleased with what his nephew said.
Upon some occasion, Lady G---- reflected upon a lady for prudery, and was
going on, when Sir Charles, interrupting her, said, Take care, Lady
G----. You, ladies, take care; for I am afraid, that MODESTY, under this
name, will become ignominious, and be banished the hearts, at least the
behaviour and conversation, of all those whose fortunes or inclinations
carry them often to places of public resort.
Talk of places of public resort! said Lord L----: It is vexatious to
observe at such, how men of real merit are neglected by the fine ladies
of the age, while every distinction is shewn to fops and foplings.
But, who, my lord, said Sir Charles, are those women? Are they not
generally of a class with those men? Flippant women love empty men,
because they cannot reproach them with a superiority of understanding,
but keep their folly in countenance. They are afraid of a wise man: but
I would by no means have such a one turn fool to please them: for they
will despise the wise man's folly more than the silly man's, and with
reason; because being uncharacteristic, it must sit more awkwardly upon
him than the other's can do.
Yet wisdom itself, and the truest wisdom, goodness, said Mrs. Reeves, is
sometimes thought to sit ungracefully, when it is uncharacteristic, not
to the man, but to the times. She then named a person who was branded as
a hypocrite, for performing all his duties publicly.
He will be worse spoken of, if he declines doing so, said Dr. Bartlett.
His enemies will add the charge of cowardice; and not acquit him of the
other.
Lady Gertrude being withdrawn, it was mentioned as a wonder, that so
agreeable a woman, as she must have been in her youth, and still was for
her years, should remain single. Lord G---- said, that she had had many
offers: and once, before she was twenty, had like to have stolen a
wedding: but her fears, he said, since that, had kept her single.
The longer, said Sir Charles, a woman remains unmarried, the more
apprehensive she will be of entering into the state. At seventeen or
eighteen a girl will plunge into it, sometimes without either fear or
wit; at twenty she will begin to think; at twenty-four will weigh and
discriminate; at twenty-eight will be afraid of venturing; at thirty will
turn about, and look down the hill she has ascended; and, as occasions
offer, and instances are given, will sometimes repent, sometimes rejoice,
that she has gained that summit sola.
Indeed, said Mrs. Reeves, I believe in England many a poor girl goes up
the hill with a companion she would little care for, if the state of a
single woman were not here so peculiarly unprovided and helpless: for
girls of slender fortunes, if they have been genteelly brought up, how
can they, when family connexions are dissolved, support themselves? A
man can rise in a profession, and if he acquires wealth in a trade, can
get above it, and be respected. A woman is looked upon as demeaning
herself, if she gains a maintenance by her needle, or by domestic
attendance on a superior; and without them where has she a retreat?
You speak, good Mrs. Reeves, said Sir Charles, as if you would join with
Dr. Bartlett and me in wishing the establishment of a scheme we have
often talked over, though the name of it would make many a lady start.
We want to see established in every county, Protestant Nunneries, in
which single women of small or no fortunes might live with all manner of
freedom, under such regulations as it would be a disgrace for a modest or
good woman not to comply with, were she absolutely on her own hands; and
to be allowed to quit it whenever they pleased.
Well, brother, said Lady G----, and why could you not have got all this
settled a fortnight ago, (you that can carry every point,) and have made
poor me a lady abbess?
You are still better provided for, my sister. But let the doctor and me
proceed with our scheme. The governesses or matrons of the society I
would have to be women of family, of unblamable characters from infancy,
and noted equally for their prudence, good-nature, and gentleness of
manners. The attendants, for the slighter services, should be the
hopeful female children of the honest industrious poor.
Do you not, ladies, imagine, said Dr. Bartlett, that such a society as
this, all women of unblemished reputation, employing themselves as each,
(consulting her own genius,) at her admission, shall undertake to employ
herself, and supported genteelly, some at more, some at less expense to
the foundation, according to their circumstances, might become a national
good; and particularly a seminary for good wives, and the institution a
stand for virtue, in an age given up to luxury, extravagance, and
amusements little less than riotous?
How could it be supported? said Lord W----.
Many of the persons, of which each community would consist, would be, I
imagine, replied Sir Charles, no expense to it at all; as numbers of
young women, joining their small fortunes, might be able, in such a
society, to maintain themselves genteelly on their own income; though
each, singly in the world, would be distressed. Besides, liberty might
be given for wives, in the absence of their husbands, in this maritime
country; and for widows, who, on the deaths of theirs, might wish to
retire from the noise and hurry of the world, for three, six, or twelve
months, more or less; to reside in this well-regulated society. And such
persons, we may suppose, would be glad, according to their respective
abilities, to be benefactresses to it. No doubt but it would have
besides the countenance of the well-disposed of both sexes; since every
family in Britain, in their connexions and relations, near or distant,
might be benefited by so reputable and useful an institution: to say
nothing of the works of the ladies in it, the profits of which perhaps
will be thought proper to be carried towards the support of a foundation
that so genteelly supports them. Yet I would have a number of hours in
each day, for the encouragement of industry, that should be called their
own; and what was produced in them, to be solely appropriated to their
own use.
A truly worthy divine, at the appointment of the bishop of the diocese,
to direct and animate the devotion of such a society, and to guard it
from that superstition and enthusiasm which soars to wild heights in
almost all nunneries, would confirm it a blessing to the kingdom.
I have another scheme, my lord, proceeded Sir Charles--An hospital for
female penitents; for such unhappy women, as having been once drawn in,
and betrayed by the perfidy of men, find themselves, by the cruelty of
the world, and principally by that of their own sex, unable to recover
the path of virtue, when perhaps, (convinced of the wickedness of the men
in whose honour they confided,) they would willingly make their first
departure from it the last.
These, continued he, are the poor creatures who are eminently entitled to
our pity, though they seldom meet with it. Good nature, and credulity,
the child of good nature; are generally, as I have the charity to
believe, rather than viciousness, the foundation of their crime. Those
men who pretend they would not be the first destroyers of a woman's
innocence, look upon these as fair prize. But, what a wretch is he, who
seeing a poor creature exposed on the summit of a dangerous precipice,
and unable, without an assisting hand, to find her way down, would rather
push her into the gulf below, than convey her down in safety?
Speaking of the force put upon a daughter's inclinations in wedlock;
Tyranny and ingratitude, said Sir Charles, from a man beloved, will be
more supportable to a woman of strong passions, than even kindness from a
man she loves not: Shall not parents then, who hope to see their children
happy, avoid compelling them to give their hands to a man who has no
share in their hearts?
But would you allow young ladies to be their own choosers, Sir Charles?
said Mr. Reeves.
Daughters, replied he, who are earnest to choose for themselves, should
be doubly careful that prudence justifies their choice. Every widow who
marries imprudently, (and very many there are who do,) furnishes a strong
argument in favour of a parent's authority over a maiden daughter. A
designing man looks out for a woman who has an independent fortune, and
has no questions to ask. He seems assured of finding indiscretion and
rashness in such a one, to befriend him. But ought not she to think
herself affronted, and resolve to disappoint him?