By his application to her, rather than to her natural friends and
relations; by his endeavouring to alienate her affections from them; by
wishing her to favour private and clandestine meetings (conscious that
his pretensions will not stand discussion); by the inequality of his
fortune to hers: and has not our excellent Miss Byron, in the letters to
her Lucy, (bowing to me,) which she has had the goodness to allow us to
read, helped us to a criterion? 'Men in their addresses to young women,'
she very happily observes, 'forget not to set forward the advantages by
which they are distinguished, whether hereditary or acquired; while love,
love, is all the cry of him who has no other to boast of.'
And by that means, said Lady Gertrude, setting the silly creature at
variance with all her friends, he makes her fight his battles for him;
and become herself the cat's paw to help him to the ready roasted
chesnuts.
But, dear brother, said Lady G----, do you think love is such a staid
deliberate passion, as to allow a young creature to take time to ponder
and weigh all the merits of the cause?
Love at first sight, answered Sir Charles, must indicate a mind prepared
for impression, and a sudden gust of passion, and that of the least noble
kind; since there could be no opportunity of knowing the merit of the
object. What woman would have herself supposed capable of such a tindery
fit? In a man, it is an indelicate paroxysm: but in a woman, who expects
protection and instruction from a man, much more so. Love, at first, may
be only fancy. Such a young love may be easily given up, and ought, to a
parent's judgment. Nor is the conquest so difficult as some young
creatures think it. One thing, my good Emily, let me say to you, as a
rule of some consequence in the world you are just entering into--Young
persons, on arduous occasions, especially in love-cases, should not
presume to advise young persons; because they seldom can divest
themselves of passion, partiality, or prejudice; that is, indeed, of
youth; and forbear to mix their own concerns and biases with the question
referred to them. It should not be put from young friend to young
friend, What would you do in such a case? but, What ought to be done?
How the dear girl blushed, and how pleased she looked, to be particularly
addressed by her guardian!
Lady Gertrude spoke of a certain father, who for interested views obliged
his daughter to marry at fifteen, when she was not only indifferent to
the man, but had formed no right notions of the state.
And are they not unhappy? asked Sir Charles.
They are, replied she.
I knew such an instance, returned he. The lady was handsome, and had her
full share of vanity. She believed every man who said civil things to
her, was in love with her; and had she been single, that he would have
made his addresses to her. She supposed, that she might have had this
great man, or that, had she not been precipitated: And this brought her
to slight the man who had, as she concluded, deprived her of better
offers. They were unhappy to the end of their lives. Had the lady lived
single long enough to find out the difference between compliment and
sincerity, and that the man who flattered her vanity, meant no more than
to take advantage of her folly, she would have thought herself not
unhappy with the very man with whom she was so dissatisfied.
Lady L---- speaking afterwards of a certain nobleman, who is continually
railing against matrimony, and who makes a very indifferent husband to an
obliging wife: I have known more men than one, said Sir Charles, inveigh
against matrimony, when the invective would have proceeded with a much
better grace from their wives' lips than from theirs. But let us
inquire, would this complainer have been, or deserved to be, happier in
any state, than he now is?
A state of suffering, said Lady L----, had probably humbled the spirit of
the poor wife into perfect meekness and patience.
You observe rightly, replied Sir Charles: And surely a most kind
disposition of Providence it is, that adversity, so painful in itself,
should conduce so peculiarly to the improvement of the human mind: It
teaches modesty, humility, and compassion.
You speak feelingly brother, said Lady L----, with a sigh. Do you think,
Lucy, nobody sighed but she?
I do, said he. I speak with a sense of gratitude: I am naturally of an
imperious spirit: But I have reaped advantages, from the early stroke of
a mother's death. Being for years, against my wishes, obliged to submit
to a kind of exile from my native country, which I considered as a heavy
evil, though I thought it my duty to acquiesce, I was determined, as much
as my capacity would allow, to make my advantage of the compulsion, by
qualifying myself to do credit, rather than discredit, to my father, my
friends, and my country. And, let me add, that if I have in any
tolerable manner succeeded, I owe much to the example and precepts of my
dear Dr. Bartlett.
The doctor blushed and bowed, and was going to disclaim the merit which
his patron had ascribed to him; but Sir Charles confirmed it in still
stronger terms: You, my dear Dr. Bartlett, said he, as I have told Miss
Byron, was a second conscience to me in my earlier youth: Your precepts,
your excellent life, your pure manners, your sweetness of temper, could
not but open and enlarge my mind. The soil, I hope I may say, was not
barren; but you, my dear paternal friend, was the cultivator: I shall
ever acknowledge it--And he bowed to the good man; who was covered with
modest confusion, and could not look up.
And think you, Lucy, that this acknowledgment lessened the excellent man
with any one present? No! It raised him in every eye: and I was the
more pleased with it, as it helped me to account for that deep
observation, which otherwise one should have been at a loss to account
for, in so young a man. And yet I am convinced, that there is hardly a
greater difference in intellect between angel and man, than there is
between man and man.