To be sure he did. I should otherwise have been displeased with him.
Dear, good soul!--And so you gave him a thousand pounds to take part of
it back from him, by four or five paltry guineas at a time, at his
pleasure?
Lord L---- and I, Charlotte, have but one purse. You may not perhaps,
know how we manage it?
Pray, good, meek, dependent creature! how do you manage it?
Thus, Charlotte: My lord knows that his wife and he have but one
interest; and from the first of our happy marriage, he would make me take
one key, as he has another, of the private drawer, where his money and
money-bills lie. There is a little memorandum-book in the drawer, in
which he enters on one page, the money he receives; on the opposite, the
money he takes out: and when I want money, I have recourse to my key. If
I see but little in the drawer, I am the more moderate; or, perhaps, if
my want is not urgent, defer the supplying of it till my lord is richer:
but, little or much, I minute down the sum, as he himself does; and so we
know what we are about; and I never put it out of my lord's power, by my
unseasonable expenses, to preserve that custom of his, for which he is as
much respected, as well served; not to suffer a demand to be twice made
upon him where he is a debtor.
Good soul!--And, pray, don't you minute down, too, the use to which you
put the money you take out?
Indeed I often do: always, indeed, when I take out more than five guineas
at one time: I found my lord did so: and I followed the example of my own
accord.
Happy pair! said I.--O Lady G----, what a charming example is this!--I
hope you'll follow it.
Thank you, Harriet, for your advice. Why, I can't but say, that this is
one pretty way of coaxing each other into frugality: but don't you think,
that where an honest pair are so tender of disobliging, and so studious
of obliging each other, that they seem to confess that the matrimonial
good understanding hangs by very slender threads?
And do not the tenderest friendships, said I, hang by as slender? Can
delicate minds be united to each other but by delicate observances?
Why thou art a good soul, too, Harriet!--And so you would both have me
make a present to Lord G---- of my thousand pounds before we have chosen
our private drawer; before he has got two keys made to it?
Let him know, Charlotte, what Lord L---- and I do, if you think the
example worth following--And then--
Ay, and then give him my thousand pounds for a beginning, Lady L----?
But see you not that this proposal should come from him, not from me?--
And should we not let each other see a little of each other's merits
first?
See, first, the merits of the man you have married, Charlotte!
Yes, Lady L----. But yesterday married, you know. Can there be a
greater difference between any two men in the world, than there often is
between the same man, a lover, and a husband?--And now, my generous
advisers, be pleased to continue silent. You cannot answer me fairly.
And besides, wot ye not the indelicacy of an early present, which you are
not obliged to make?
We were both silent, each expecting the other to answer the strange
creature.
She laughed at us both. Soft souls, and tender! said she, let me tell
you, that there is more indelicacy in delicacy, than you very delicate
people are aware of.
You, Charlotte, said Lady L----, have odder notions than any body else.
Had you been a man, you would have been a sad rake.
A rake, perhaps, I might have been; but not a sad one, Lady L----.
Lady G---- can't help being witty, said I: it is sometimes her
misfortune, sometimes ours, that she cannot: however, I highly approve of
the example set by Lord L----, and followed by Lady L----.
And so do I, Harriet. And when Lord G---- sets the example, I shall--
consider of it. I am not a bad economist. Had I ten thousand pounds in
my hands, I would not be extravagant: had I but one hundred, I would not
be mean. I value not money but as it enables me to lay an obligation,
instead of being under the necessity of receiving one. I am my mother's
daughter, and brother's sister; and yours, Lady L----, in this
particular; and yours too, Harriet: different means may be taken to
arrive at the same end. Lord G---- will have no reason to be
dissatisfied with my prudence in money-matters, although I should not
make him one of my best courtesies, as if--as if--(and she laughed; but
checking herself)--I were conscious--again she laughed--that I had signed
and sealed to my absolute dependence on his bounty.
What a mad creature! said Lady L----: But, my Harriet, don't you think
that she behaved pretty well to Lord G---- at table?
Yes, answered I, as those would think who observe not her arch looks: but
she gave me pain for her several times; and, I believe, her brother was
not without his apprehensions.
He had his eyes upon you, Harriet, replied Lady G----, more earnestly
than he had upon me, or any body else.
That's true, said Lady L----. I looked upon both him and you, my dear,
with pity. My tears were ready to start more than once, to reflect how
happy you two might be in each other, and how greatly you would love each
other, were it not----
Not one word more on this subject, dear Lady L----! I cannot bear it. I
thought my-self, that he often cast an eye of tenderness upon me. I
cannot bear it. I am afraid of myself; of my justice--
His tender looks did not escape me, said Lady G----. Nor yet did my dear
Harriet's. But we will not touch this string: it is too tender a one.
I, for my part, was forced, in order to divert myself, to turn my eyes on
Lord G----. He got nothing by that. The most officious--
Nay, Lady G----, interrupted I, you shall not change the discourse at the
expense of the man you have vowed to honour. I will be pained myself, by
the continuation of the former subject, rather than that shall be.
Charming Harriet! said Lady L----. I hope your generosity will be
rewarded. Yet tell me, my dear, can you wish Lady Clementina may be his?
I have no doubt but you wish her recovery; but can you wish her to be
his?
I have debated the matter, my dear Lady L----, with myself. I am sorry
it has admitted of debate: so excellent a creature! Such an honour to
her sex! So nobly sincere! So pious!--But I will confess the truth: I
have called upon justice to support me in my determination: I have
supposed myself in her situation, her unhappy malady excepted: I have
supposed her in mine: and ought I then to have hesitated to which to give
the preference?--Yet--
What yet, most frank, and most generous of women? said Lady L----,
clasping her arms about me: what yet--
Why, yet-Ah, ladies--Why, yet, I have many a pang, many a twitch, as I
may call it!--Why is your brother so tender-hearted, so modest, so
faultless!--Why did he not insult me with his pity? Why does he on every
occasion shew a tenderness for me, that is more affecting than pity? And
why does he give me a consequence that exalts, while it depresses me?
I turned my head aside to hide my emotion--Lady G---- snatched my
handkerchief from me; and wiped away a starting tear; and called me by
very tender names.
Am I dear, continued I, to the heart of such a man? You think I am.
Allow me to say, that he is indeed dear to mine: yet I have not a wish
but for his happiness, whatever becomes of me.
Emily appeared at the door--May I come in, ladies?--I will come in!--My
dear Miss Byron affected! My dear Miss Byron in tears!
Her pity, without knowing the cause, sprung to her eyes. She took my
hand in both hers, and repeatedly kissed it!--My guardian asks for you.
O with what tenderness of voice--Where is your Miss Byron, love? He
calls every one by gentle names, when he speaks of you--His voice then is
the voice of love--Love, said he to me! Through you, madam, he will love
his ward--And on your love will I build all my merit. But you sigh, dear
Miss Byron! you sigh--Forgive your prating girl!--You must not be
grieved.
I embraced her. Grief, my dear, reaches not my heart at this time. It
is the merit of your guardian that affects me.
God bless you, madam, for your gratitude to my guardian!
A Clementina and a Harriet! said Lady L----, two women so excellent!
What a fate is his! How must his heart be divided!
Divided, say you, Lady L----! resumed Lady G----. The man who loves
virtue, for virtue's sake, loves it wherever he finds it: Such a man may
distinguish more virtuous women than one: and if he be of a gentle and
beneficent nature, there will be tenderness in his distinction to every
one, varying only according to the difference of circumstance and
situation.
Let me embrace you, my Charlotte! resumed Lady L----. for that thought.
Don't let me hear, for a month to come, one word from the same lips, that
may be unworthy of it.
You have Lord G---- in your head, Lady L----: but never mind us. He must
now and then be made to look about him. I'll take care to keep up my
consequence with him, never fear: nor shall he have reason to doubt the
virtue of his wife.
Virtue, my dear! said I: What is virtue only? She who will not be
virtuous for virtue's sake, is not worthy to be called a woman: but she
must be something more than virtuous for her husband's, nay, for her
vow's sake. Complacency, obligingness--
Obedience too, I warrant--Hush, hush, my sweet Harriet! putting her hand
before my mouth, we will behave as well as we can: and that will be very
well, if nobody minds us. And now let us go down together.