* * * * *
“They say that the blind can determine color by the sense of touch?”
“Sure, I once knew a blind man who was able to tell a red-hot stove by
merely putting his finger on it.”
* * * * *
“By the way, did you recover the umbrella you lost last week?”
“No; but I recovered a better one that I didn’t lose.”
* * * * *
“Is that punch bowl cut glass?”
“Yes. Cut from $2 to $1.98.”
* * * * *
“A man said to me to-day, ‘where did you get that face?’ I told him
that it belonged to me, and he said he didn’t know but that I’d beat a
bull-dog out of it. The idea. You know a man can’t choose his face, nor
his hair nor his eyes. He’s lucky if he can pick his teeth.”
* * * * *
“His father is the meanest man I ever knew. He never buys any coal. He
lives near a railroad and makes faces at the engineer.”
* * * * *
“I saw your sister on the street to-day.”
“How was she looking?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t see her face.”
“How did you know it was my sister?”
“Oh, I’m quick at figures.”
* * * * *
“What do you take for the grip?”
“Oh, I get it without taking anything.”
* * * * *
You know that fifty-dollar watch I used to carry?
Yes.