That’s nothing, I went into a saloon and had no money, so I let the
beer settle.
* * * * *
“I think I’ll celebrate my golden wedding to-morrow.”
“Why, you must be crazy! You’ve only been married a little over a year.”
“I can hardly believe it! It seems like fifty.”
* * * * *
What did the Judge say when you sassed him?
He said I was a trifle too free, and gave me sixty days.
* * * * *
Just the other day my wife paid Ten Dollars for a pair of silk hose.
I told her that Ten Dollars was too much to pay for a pair of silk
stockings. She said she didn’t care which way the wind blowed, she
wanted something to show for her money.
* * * * *
Did you ever hear a fairy story?
Yes, a friend of mine told me about a fairy who pinched his watch.
* * * * *
What is the difference between a cat and a match?
A cat lights on its feet and a match lights on its head.
* * * * *
“I saw a freak of nature yesterday.”
“What was it?”
“A baby born with human hands and bear feet.”
* * * * *
“Is your wife a victim of bargain days?”
“No, I’m the victim. She seems to enjoy them.”
* * * * *
“Horrible fire in the shoe factory.”
“Any lives lost?”
“A thousand souls” (soles).
* * * * *
Why did they make the hand on the Statue of Liberty 11 inches long?