* * * * *
Saturday, September 7.--To-morrow is Sunday, and my sermons? O, the
recklessness of it! I had determined to set aside this afternoon for
preparation.
Morning very busy.
Mrs. Mentz' child dead.
Hospitals; hysterical girl very bad; fear she won't pull through;
others betterish; except the fever one; very weak.
In men's ward, old Mr. Petersen dying; quite conscious; waiting on
God; Ps. 23.
Another youth also very bad.
Arrangements upset; funerals this morning (seven); had to rush to
overtake procession; Ps. 39, "Handbreed" (an hand-breadth).
Found I was burying Mrs. De Lint's infant and also "she of the
gnashing teeth."
Sorrowing mothers; I always hurry away when the first sod falls with
its horrible thud; it unstrings the chords of one's being, and the
best thing is to depart.
Spent afternoon in; at five, went to few tents.
Old Tante yonder; the great collapse; very sorrowful; faithful unto
death. Weeks of toil; untiring efforts with sick daughter and her
three sick children; poor; helpless; no one to assist save little
Billy, who herself is sick. And now--now the daughter is better, the
three children on the way to recovery, and the faithful old
grandmother? Nunc demittis. She has lain there like a log since
yesterday without nourishment; took beef tea; kind neighbour brought
broth; made her sit up, and she gulped down the food; will try and
get her removed to hospital to-morrow.
Visited Mrs. Naude of yesterday; anguish; the last child died this
morning; husband gone; three children gone; alone. Made fool of
myself. O, the pity of it all!
Long visit from Doctor; desperate; at wit's end; and with a sermon
hanging upon my mind.
* * * * *
Sunday, September 8.--Most awful day of wind and dust. May I never
see such another.
Church (!); open air; clouds of dust; people just simply buried in
dust; could scarcely read; whole service forty-five minutes.
During sermon compelled to turn round and shut eyes; saw on opening
them that my black hat had changed to my brown one.
Met wailing women on return; Mrs. Lubbe; news of husband's death;
shot in war; frantic; visited this evening; hopeless. What could I
do? frantic despair; cruel anguish unconsolable. Grief makes one
unreasonable. I think one should fight against grief and not collapse
so readily; and yet--and yet!
Funerals five; old Mr. Petersen; large crowd; availed myself of
opportunity; "Alleen wiens namen opgeschreven zijn in het Boek des
Levens des Lams" (But they which are written in the Lamb's Book of
Life).
May God not let His word return to Him void; read also Psalm 25,
which I read to old Mr. Petersen just before he died.
Accompanied Mrs. Mentz to see husband in hospital; youngest child
dead; father knows not; in fear and trembling lest she should tell.
He gave her half an orange to give the little girl (buried already);
I must tell him of child's death to-morrow; bitter task.
Disappointed about hospital; could not go through thoroughly; some
there who won't pull through, I'm afraid.
On way home from funerals called in to pray for dying children; found
I was too late at the first tent; much grief and wailing; second
tent; baby dying.
Neglected to go to old mother beyond; wonder if!
This evening two girls came to ask for candle; great misery no light;
gave half a candle; visited this evening Van der Walt; sorrowful;
three children ill; saw my candle burning. What if I had not been
able to give! Other sick children; sent brandy and Benger's food.
Mr. Becker service afternoon; same old dust.
Heard there were some of the Ladies' Commission present; good! May
God bless their work and give them His Spirit in their work. May they
see all.
Nice singing at our Church this evening; Miss Dussels; new doctor
sick; "ipperkonders" gave him cocoa.
Weinanda dead; thank God! another burden of suffering ended.
Woman I prayed with in hospital this afternoon, dead this evening.
Girlie (35) Ackerman also dying.
Mrs. De Wet called me to her bedside (hospital), and asked me to pray
that she might sleep. May God's angels guard over those hospital
tents this night.
* * * * *
Monday, September 9.--Ladies' Commission; one of them, Dr. Jane
Waterston. Glorious rain. How nice it will be to sleep with the
soothing music of falling showers.
Our new kitchen getting on famously. What a comfort it will be when
finished. It takes 800 bricks to build a kitchen here, and few there
be that possess such a luxury. Spent half an hour in kitchen of
hospital after visits; delighted with the sight of walls again; more
determined than ever to go and do likewise. Am sure won't need more
than 3,000 bricks to build a regular palace, and won't it be
glorious! Besides, one does not know in the least, how long we are
still to remain here, and even were it only a month longer it would
be worth while.
Doctor gave up 71; went and found woman dead; child very sick; found
Mr. Becker there.
Just after dinner was called to see one of the little orphans of few
days ago; went at 2.30; too late; bad of me; should have gone
immediately.
To-day saw the thinnest, boniest woman imaginable; Mrs. Booysen; just
a skeleton; husband Ceylon; daughter here; son and daughter still at
the front.
Saw also the most emaciated baby imaginable; puny; nine months;
mother dead; lives on "genade" (mercy) of other mothers whose babies
are dead; a regular "kannie dood" (literally, a "won't die").
Got the Van Huysteen girls to undertake case of outside tent with
old grandmother; opened bottom to-day to ventilate; foul.
Visited old Mr. Van Heerde; very bad; wife "praat soos een boek"
(talks like a book); quite a change to do a bit of listening on
points of Theology!
Found the Fouries of first day; daughter much better.
The quack doctor deserves to be kicked; found bottle of medicine on
table somewhere; pure water; five shillings. He is coining money and
fleecing people most scandalously; child now luckily in hospital;
spoke strongly to parents on the point.
In hospital things are rather glum; Miss Snyman utterly weak and
fearfully excited; hysterical girl still alive; so are all others;
but I fear some of them won't see light of morning.
Doctor actually in bed in hospital; bad too; rather a sell; tables
cruelly turned on us.
* * * * *
Tuesday, September 10.--Ladies' Commission here again; can more or
less predict what report will be.[37]
Rain all night; soaking showers; this morning everything very muddy;
some streets in Camp awful; and then to see the "gesukel" (distress)
this morning all round among the women trying to cook breakfast.
Yesterday met several women carrying heavy buckets of water; "Dit is
daarom nie vrouwen's werk nie" (This truly is not work for women).
The women here have a rough time; what with no servants, no kitchen,
scanty wood, and poor rations; it is hard to make ends meet. Were it
not for the little extras[38] we have (golden syrup, jam, oatmeal,
tea and until yesterday fat), I wonder what I would do.
Went to village to-day; nothing to be had there; was absolutely
refused permit for rice and beans; got 4 lbs. peas; candles not to be
had for love or money; dined Beckers.
Owing to presence of Ladies' Commission, unable to do my daily visit
to hospital; three have died--Mrs. Kruger, Miss Ackerman, and a lad
of seventeen.
Superintendent called me to-day, and said I could issue "briefies"
(notes) for food to-morrow; very glad, for I know many tents where
there is dire distress.
Very weary and sickish; eager for bed.
Funerals nine; "U te kennen is het eeuwige leven" (To know Thee is
life everlasting."
Yesterday Mr. Becker buried eleven.
* * * * *
To-day most were in blankets.
Wednesday, September 11.--Waylaid doctor; throat bad; got two bottles
medicine; seedy.
34 and 71 great distress; the girl in 71 actually still alive; some
people die hard.
Hurried back to hospital; Miss Snyman now so hysterical removed; tent
to herself; wonder if!
That Lotz girl too is still alive; but what a wonderful constitution
she must have!
Saw some distressing and heartrending cases to-day.
626; mother in agony; strong daughter (18) in throes of death and
fearfully "benauwd" (in agony), pneumonia. Little sister; insensible;
far gone; no doctor.
Hunted for doctor; gone to village; took him down this evening at
nine. O, the sorrow of it! Can never imagine a more harrowing
spectacle; we got medicine down; stayed three-quarters of an hour;
left doctor there and returned. Here go the bearers with their
lifeless burden; the elder sister died little while ago.
The little one, too, is dead; poor suffering innocents!
That sweet little girl at 128, whom I visited late last night, and
with whom I prayed--she, too, died early this morning; and now she
has the desire of her heart: they were laying her out when I called
this morning.
Visited tent to which I sent little brandy yesterday; found child
had just died; too late.
Gave old woman at 34, children and grandchildren, earnest talking-to
this afternoon; old woman, over seventy, quite callous as to
religion; no "behoefte" (sense of need): "Remember now thy Creator in
the days of thy youth."
Old Mr. Van Heerde, whom I visited two days ago, died in night. Great
consternation about little boy in 348; was getting on so well, and
actually dead this morning. Doctor completely upset; he took great
trouble with this child; poor little chap, he had such a bonny little
face.
Our kitchen we are building, getting on famously; I stand good for
bricks and wood; we need about 1,000 bricks; quite a great affair,
and will prove a blessing.
Gave out "briefies" to-day, but fear that I shall give up the job;
what use, when they return empty-handed, or with but half the things!
Sorely vexed in my soul at the treatment I receive. Why ask me to
issue briefies?
Washing-stand looks handsome, thanks to Stienie; oilcloth will make
it quite spruce.
Young man addressed me quite intimate-like this afternoon, "En wat
schrijf maat in de boekie?" ("Mate, what are you writing in that
book?")
Mr. Becker funerals; don't know number.
* * * * *
Thursday, September 12.--News from Steytler[39]; sent away from
Potchefstroom; let me be doubly careful. I am so attached to my work
now, love it, that it would be a grievous burden were I compelled to
give it up[40].
Only there is too much, too much to do, and if I visit one side of
the Camp, the other side has to be neglected. Five would have their
hands comfortably full here, and then there would be less "oorslaan"
(neglect).
I am continually asked to visit new sick people; there seems to be no
end to all the sickness.
The woman in 34 is very bad; next door to 626 is also great misery;
children very sick and without medical attendance. That is so
sorrowful; the number of tents where no doctor comes[41], the absence
of invalid food and nourishment; the hard, bare floor (heard of a
case yesterday where grass had begun to grow under sick bed); the
despair and helplessness of the mothers.
Another burden--no lights! There are numbers of tents where there is
sickness, in some cases dying people, and where to-night there is not
an inch of candle.
Pathetic sight yesterday; mother melting odd ends and scraps of
tallow and fat to make some sort of candle; daughter on brink of
death.
Wonder what plan they have made to-night for light!
Girl 71 still alive; wonderful.
Funerals--nine, I believe; great crowd; calamity; one grave short,
and coffin had to be returned; women faint; consternation.
Upset, and couldn't pick my thread in address, "En ziet een groote
schaar die niemand tellen kon" (And lo! a great multitude which no
man could number). These funerals most painful and wearying, and then
the burden of having to give address.
Small quantity boards arrived; may we have no more burials in
blankets now!
Mrs. Snyman in tears yesterday in hospital, and her great trouble was
that there would be no coffin for her daughter, who is in jaws of
death; reprimand; should not anticipate God; besides, the sorrows of
to-day are grievous enough, why bear to-morrow's in the bargain?
Great wailing and lamentation round morgue tents this morning;
daughter and wife of old Mr. Van Heerde; and she boasted so big three
days ago of her boundless faith. Gave her straight talk; fruit of our
faith is our resignation and peace of heart. Thank God rather for the
blessedness of so long and happy a union; cross with daughter; a
woman can become so unreasonable in her grief.
Arrival of my autoharp; gladness.
* * * * *
Friday, September 13.--Spat fire. Now let me never have occasion to
get so annoyed again; wished for a bag of chaff to pummel for half an
hour just to let off steam.
458 the very essence of misery; old mother helpless (since dead);
young mother sick; three wretched and sick children; and yet when I
presented myself for rice at office was cold-shouldered by Assistant
Superintendent; and these be the things sent by friends from Cape
Town to relieve distress here; and after permission from
Superintendent to issue "briefies! I got rice and two beef teas after
all; but sparks inward flew all the same.
Got to 458; found old grandmother dead; wished Assistant
Superintendent could have been forced to look in; but what an if!
There comes the pity of it all--total absence of sympathy of any
kind!
Wonder of wonders; 70 new person; much better; returned from the very
borders; now let me never doubt on the subject of miracles again!
Saw crowd (hateful) round 34; worked way in; dying. Singing of hymn;
prayer (and after, strong words to crowd). This horrible
attractiveness of a deathbed! Where does it originate?
34 and 35, Ackermans; these people have had ten deaths since their
arrival in Camp; they are dying out altogether. There is one in
hospital, and she has small chances of recovery.
Long visit to hospital; all four wards. Spoke to Mrs. ----, who lost
her babe in night.
Betty Lotz quite "plezierig" (cheerful); Betty Kruger (mother died
few days ago in hospital), sweet little girl; languid dark brown
eyes; much suffering; wonder if!
Snyman girl very low; mother there; very pathetic: quite delirious;
fear!
Went to see Mrs. Welgemoed, 518; very bad; don't think she will "make
it."[42]
Mrs. Hett called me in; very concerned; Annie, ten years, very ill;
sweet little thing; took her some Benger's Food and milk; wine.
Mother in mortal dread of seeing child sent to hospital; but what
foolishness! Selfish, and altogether disastrous policy.
Saw Mr. Becker; not here yesterday; poor man; new misery; new cross;
and he looks like a bit of leather already. The military contemplate
taking possession of his parsonage (he has wife, four little
children), and this good man has slaved ever since the Camp has been
here, day after day, indefatigably, out of pure goodness and
charity.[43]
Our kitchen has the woodwork of its roof finished; hope soon to see
it completed; glorious anticipation; a masterpiece!
Tramping about from 1.30 to 6.30, and now exceedingly tired. Wonder
how about Sunday's sermons.
Mr. Becker; funerals--nine, I believe.
* * * * *
Saturday, September 14.--Great day; this way: inspected this
afternoon immense new marquee tent put up for hospital; glorious
within; charmed; mindful of our sufferings when trying to hold and
attend Divine service; idea spontaneous; immediate action; bee-line
to Superintendent's tent; psychological moment; agreeable. Hurrah!
Strike iron while hot; enlist men to help at 3 p.m. Resultum: Fine
large tent between the two school sheds; "Alles achter mekaar"
(everything in order). Can have use of school forms, which will seat
300 people. Position grand; bit aside, but quiet and clean
neighbourhood. Inauguration to-morrow.
And sermon? That still to be made. It's no absolute good; busy whole
morning; planned to reserve afternoon for preparation.
Afternoon comes; new church; funerals; final visits, and where does
the preparation come in? No show! Never mind; too satisfied to
grumble to-night; "Alles zal wel recht komen" (all will come right).
No chance for hospital to-day; sorry; Betty Lotz dead; poor child.
Yesterday I still teased her with her cropped hair and the orange she
was eating; always so glad when I come; "Betty, gij kan moes mooi
hoor als ik lees en bid neh" ("Betty, you listen very nicely when I
read and pray"). "O ja, minheer, ik luister baing mooi" ("O yes, sir,
I listen very well").
Buried her this afternoon, also seven others; "Dood, waar is uw
prikkel?" (Death, where is thy sting?)
She belonged to 627, from which two daughters were buried in the
week; parents far away; aunt still very sick.
Found Mrs. Barkhuizen dying; passed away soon after I left.
518, Mrs. Welgemoed, died in night; baby also dying; great sorrow.
Called to console mother whose babe had just died, Mrs. Van der M.
Next door old Mr. R. dying, and, worst of all, unprepared. Oh! how
unspeakably difficult is my work and how fearful the responsibility!
Wonder if he is still alive? Mr. Otto[44] went to him too, and I
asked Mr. Becker to visit him also.
Rather ashamed this morning; had taken down Nos. 268 and 263 some
days ago, and never yet been there. To-day "voorgekeerd" (waylaid).
268, Mrs. Steyn; very sick for one and a half months already; glad I
went; in other tent found Mrs. Fourie; heard that her two children
already dead; very resigned; glad of my visit even though so late in
day.
While in official tent, woman came with note, for maizena, brandy,
and milk from doctor; was simply told there was none. (And where are
the things that came down lately, with two dozen brandy and 24 dozen
milk?)
Gave her arrowroot and milk. This is no isolated case. How many go
away empty-handed who present "briefies" at the office? The cry for a
little brandy or wine is simply pitiable. And candles! Fie on it! O
fie!
Our kitchen nearly done; grand tin roof, out of coffee tins (one
shilling a tin); must inaugurate on Monday with pancakes or
something.
Now for sermon (10.30 p.m.).
* * * * *
Sunday, September 15 (the Great 15th)[45].--What a day!
Yesterday ecstasy over new church; to-day in the depths again. Joy
shortlived. This way: very stormy night; soaking rains; morning
whirlwind, frightful; hurried to the church; one side already blown
loose; mighty burst wind; whole show laid low. Such are the
vicissitudes of Camp life.
Service out of question. Thankful!
Similar tent, hospital, also blown down same time. A fellow feeling
makes us wondrous kind.
One of morgue tents also blown down.
Last night very restless one; bearers with their horrid tramp always
waken me, and it is fearful to be so awakened.
Mr. Roelvert they bore away last night, and several others. It was
frightfully dark, and on one occasion the men walked bang against my
"airing structure"[46] to their great discomfort.
Woke again 3.30 with peculiar noise. "There goes Dr. Maddon's[47]
tent," says I, "the pole has snapped." Rather helpless sort; guessed
he would come to me; and so it was. Made him call out five times
before I answered, just for fun; got up and helped him; delightful to
get into bed again.
So sorry. I hear Betty Lotz was buried yesterday in blanket; glad I
was unaware it was she. She asked me the last time I saw her,
"Wanneer gaat, minheer, dan mij stukkie lees uit die Bijbel?" ("Sir,
when are ou going to read my little portion out of the Bible?") "Wat
is dit dan, Betty?" ("What is it, Betty?") "Minheer, van Jairus en
sijn dochtertje" ("Sir, about the daughter of Jairus"). I promised to
read that for next day; but this promise unfulfilled; couldn't go to
hospital yesterday; besides, she was carried away by then. Never
mind, I'll read about Jairus' daughter to-morrow all the same.
Betty Kruger betterish; poor little thing; her mother died in
beginning of week, also in hospital. She knows nothing though, but
to-day she asked her sister to make her a black frock because her
mother was dead.
Miss Taljaard very much better; if she pulls through it will be a
miracle. Mr. Van der Merwe very, very bad indeed (enteric); wonder
if! Sad; mother died some days ago; then young wife, and yesterday
his little daughter was buried. Is there a sorrow like to our sorrow?
Little boy is dying in hospital.
49; child also dead.
156; of these remaining orphans (Joubert's), one little girlie is
dying. Foeitog!