Sunday, September 1.--Recklessness; preached twice to-day without any
preparation; "sommer uit die vuis uit" (literally, straight from the
fist); simply compelled to; very unpleasant day; wind and dust; made
services very short; fifty-five minutes.
In afternoon a large crowd of young people.
Mr. Otto took funerals for me this morning (eleven buried).
This afternoon Mr. Becker buried six.
About fourteen have died since last night.
It is pitiable to see the innocent little children and babies
suffering and struggling against the accursed pneumonia; and there
seems no hope when once they get it. Poor little mites!
A census taken lately gives 683 as the number of sick. Milk ration[27]
has been stopped since yesterday; new sorrow. Our Camp a veritable
valley of desolation. For the very essence of sorrow and misery, come
here! For weeping, wailing mothers, come here! For broken hearts,
come here! For desperate misery and hopelessness, come here! What
would become of us if we had not our Religion to fall back upon!
What, if we had not the assurance that a Good and Merciful God reigns
above! What if there was no Love! What, if there was no hope of the
Resurrection and Life Everlasting! What, if there is nothing beyond
the Grave!
The nights here are so awful, and one yearns for day; and then the
fearfulness of being awakened repeatedly in the night by the tramp of
those who carry away the dead to the morgue tents. I woke last night
in such a way, and knew that they were bearing young Herklaas away.
One grows a bit pessimistic under the circumstances. Despite my
services, I had to visit several sick--mostly dying children, with
weeping mothers. It is so hard to pray, and so very wearying. And
then, to comfort and cheer, when your own heart is lead within.
In the hospital there are many sick; am neglecting the hospital, and
my conscience hurts, but am going regularly from to-morrow; must find
time somewhere.
Mrs. De Lint's children are all sick; baby very bad; poor woman; am
so sorry for her; Peter away in Ceylon.
Those deep rings round the eyes, which one sees all about, bear
testimony to nights of watching and of anguish in the heart. May God
take pity!
Monday, September 2.--Bitter day, the bitterest I have yet had;
Superintendent furious because of my last letters[28]. The worst is I
see that I am altogether misunderstood, and that I am suspected now
of interfering and working against the Superintendent. And yet this
is not so, for I would go to-morrow if I knew I was at all hostile to
the authorities. I fear I have been indiscreet in what I wrote; shall
have straight talk to-morrow, and ask Superintendent to let me resign
if I have not his confidence; there must be no suspicion, otherwise I
cannot stay. This matter is a load upon my heart.
Busy day; new tents 63, 552a, 50, 40, all with sick children except
552, where young man is very sick.
Called to hospital; Mrs. Retief dying; prayer; expired just after.
Hurried to 34, but found I was just too late; Mrs. Ackerman just
died.
156; very sad case; mother, Mrs. Joubert, died this morning, and when
I came I found three helpless little ones all alone, and sick too;
father in Bloemfontein Camp; the grandmother will provide, I
understand.
Had short conversation with Mr. Branders, Superintendent Sunday
School, and decided to exhort parents to send children to school.
395; Mrs. Botha very ill; twenty-eight days in bed; advise removal
hospital; this afternoon doctor called and said she was dying; she
leaves a baby.
Went to few cases with doctor; very interesting; get on well with
him.
Visited 239, Ignatius, with malignant growth on arm; must soon die.
Took doctor to see 36; young girl suddenly sick; great misery there;
bad ventilation; four others measles.
Funerals this afternoon (about nine); "Hetgeen gij zaait wordt niet
levend tenzij dat het gestorven is" (That which thou sowest is not
quickened except it die).
Visited hospital to-day, and mean to go regularly each day.
* * * * *
Tuesday, September 3.--Went to Superintendent first thing to-day;
reasonable[29]; long talk; reconciled; thank God.
Found boy in 34 very, very bad; this afternoon stopped bearers on way
to morgue tents, and learnt that they were carrying him away; poor
little fellow; he suffered so very much!
In 35 there is also great sickness.
27; Mrs. Taljaard; very sick baby; also sick boy; husband commando.
Hospital; read and prayed in the three wards; glad I went; some very
seriously ill; so sorry to hear that Miss Hendriks died this morning;
she was very bad; spoke to her yesterday, and prayed with her; she
enquired restlessly, time after time, "Is dit nog nie vijf uur nie?"
(Is it not yet five o'clock?). At five this morning she passed away.
The men's ward quite full; all ages; all were so glad to have me read
and pray.
541; Mrs. Steyn; two children gone; very sore; glad I went.
500; Mrs. Schoeman; eight children; two sick; husband Ceylon.
503; Mrs. Robertson; baby dead; two boys sick; husband fighting.
In 418 great misery; Mrs. Herbst ill and three sick children.
In 322 called in to pray for dying baby.
Very busy afternoon; always stopped on way and called in.
Neglected 475.
The poor little mites! the horrid, cruel pneumonia! and there seems
to be no saving them when once the pneumonia, grips them.
Mr. Becker took funerals, seventeen; several in blankets.
And so we go forth day by day; the dread whistle; the regular tramp
of the bearers to morgue tents, and the slowly winding procession
every afternoon.
Called hurriedly to hospital twice; dying girl just brought in; could
understand.
Hysterical girl Martie[30], swearing and cursing all round; each
nurse in particular, and the whole lot generally.
Old Mrs. Van Zyl, 492, evidently dying.
Called to enquire after old Mrs. Oosthuizen; found she had died soon
after last visit.
Pleasant evening; stories of my travels; in Italy once more.
* * * * *
Wednesday, September 4.--My visits to hospital I love.
That one girl such a sad case; fever and most terrible headache; they
say it is sunstroke.
Hysterical girl quiet.
Filth and stench in some tents almost unbearable.
Nos. 34 and 35 very bad; ventilated tent myself; some folks built
that way, and sickness becomes their trench behind which they
shelter. But I will persist in maintaining that no matter the
sickness, no matter the distress and poverty, cleanliness is a
possibility anywhere[31]. But what an opportunity for the careless to
degenerate!
Managed to get bedstead for Mrs. Van Zyl; fear she won't last long.
I wonder what the safest policy would be when two women pour out
their griefs into your ear at the same time. When they simultaneously
tell you all about their departed cherubs? Some people selfish in
their sorrow. Took little camphor brandy Mrs. Niemand's; tent full
lamenting womenfolk; and the helpless babe casting her black eyes
from one to another. Some people will insist on anticipating the
Almighty (the child is dead, though).
Saw a child to-day the very image of a mouse; two months' illness;
large ears; black eyes; thin, bony hands; huddled together.
Very busy afternoon.
Funerals at 4 p.m.; eighteen corpses; "En God zal alle tranen van
hunne oogen afwisschen" (And God shall wipe away all tears from their
eyes).
How can one's heart remain hard? Can one be unmoved when you see
weeping, stricken mothers kneeling in anguish beside their infants'
graves?
Love, after all, is the greatest and most mysterious of all things.
Explain it that a mother can cling to a helpless, idiotic, deformed
boy for fourteen years, and feed him mouth to mouth! Explain that a
mother can sit up night and day, day and night, with a sick child!
Look at those deep-set eyes, sorrow-sunken, their care-wornness, and
tell me what is this Love that endureth all things!
Two things have I learnt during these fourteen days which till now to
me were "all fancy"--the meaning of Love and the thing called
Religion.
* * * * *
Thursday, September 5th.--Tent overhauled; floor rubbed and "smeered"
(coated); very miserable, windy day; dust; dirt; towards evening cold
south winds; fear it will work havoc with the children to-night.
Hospitals; so sorry about Miss Snyman; quite delirious to-day; wonder
if she will live.
Hysterical one[32] quite tame; "Ach, minheer zijn hand is tog zoo
koud; ik wens, minheer, wil die heele dag mij kop hou" ("Ah, sir,
your hand is so very cold, I wish you would hold it to my head the
whole day").
Found things cleaner at 35; still great misery.
Fear old Mrs. Van Zyl will die.
The De Wets (526) sad way; so many sick; one daughter dead; two
children in hospital; this afternoon baby died.
Neglected to go to Mrs. Niemand--poor little mother!
De Lintz in great misery; gnashing teeth girlie[33] weaker.
Some people selfish in their sorrow; but I don't suppose a man can
fathom the love a mother bears her child!
Near Church (!) great misery; sick mother (husband Bloemfontein) and
four sick children; all helplessly ill; no one to help; and water has
to be carried and wood fetched and chopped.
Milk supply has been stopped in Camp; this causes great distress.
What sorrows one is to find tent upon tent with sick children and no
nourishing or invalid food; not even milk.
Wonder if there can be suffering greater than what some folk endure
here.
Mr. Becker funerals; four, I believe, only (!).
Eight died since yesterday afternoon; may a change come speedily.
* * * * *
Friday, September 6.--Handicapped with a horrible cold, which won't
go away; throat hoarse; unpleasant day, very; wind, dust.
Daily routine: Hospital; visits; dinner; visits; funerals; visits;
supper; bed.
Nine buried this afternoon; "Heere gij zijt ons een Toevlucht van
Geslacht tot Geslacht" (Lord, Thou hast been our dwelling-place in
all generations); dreary business.
There have died during one month (August) about 230 people.
A new doctor has come, and now I hope things will grow brighter.
Miss Snyman in hospital little better.
Sad case this evening; found mother at bedside[34] of sick child; she
has lost two already this week, and this one is the last; husband
died Green Point. The sorrow of it! May God spare that child's life.
Hear from Mr. Becker that the old Tante[35] beyond the Camp, with
sick mother and sick children, has broken down. What on earth will
become of them?
Some here unconsciously overdo it, and overtax their own strength in
their grim fights with Angel of Death. A sort of superhuman power
sustains them for a time, and then--the collapse!