There was a young man from Art Creek
Who went around dressed in Batik.
When they asked, "Are you well?"
He replied, "Ain't it hell?
But in Art it's the very last shriek."
* * *
Received by a Missouri teacher: "Please excuse Frank for being absent. I
kneaded him at home." In the woodshed? Ouch, Maw!
* * *
How could the teacher rebuke Emil when she read this excuse from his
father? "The only excuse I have for Emil being late was nine o'clock
came sooner than we expected."
* * *
For our part, we are moved to protest against the growing practice among
parents of rebuking their children for playing with the children of
prohibitionists. We should not visit upon the little ones the sins of
their intemperate progenitors.
* * *
"Attention, Members!" postcards the house committee of the Chicago Real
Estate Board. "Get your feet under the table and you are putting your
shoulder behind your board." This is another good reducing exercise.
* * *
With the return of the railroads to private control, we look for an
immediate improvement in the service. For, as the dining-car waiter
said, when requested to brush the crumbs from a table: "We's workin' for
the government now. We don't have to brush no crumbs off no more." Well,
he'll brush some crumbs off some more now, or he'll be fired.
* * *
One may send "harmless live animals" by parcel post, with the chances
eight to five that the animal will be reduced to pulp or die of old age.
* * *