to let him know if there was any possibility of his coming to see me. I
spoke to Madame Vladislava, who consented to our interview. He was to
come to her rooms, and thence to mine. I waited for him until three
o'clock in the morning, and was in deadly anxiety as to what could have
prevented his coming. I learned next day that he had been enticed by
Count Roman Voronzoff into a lodge of Free Masons, and he pretended that
he could not get away without giving rise to suspicions. But I
questioned and cross-questioned Leon Narichkine to such a degree, that I
saw as clear as the day that he had failed in his engagement from
carelessness and want of interest, regardless of all I had so long
suffered solely from my attachment to him. Leon Narichkine himself,
although his friend, did not offer much, if any excuse for him. To tell
the truth, I was greatly annoyed, and wrote him a letter, in which I
complained bitterly of his indifference. He answered it, and came to see
me. He had little difficulty in appeasing me, for I was only too well
disposed to accept his apologies. He recommended me to go into public: I
followed his advice, and made my appearance on the 10th of February, the
birthday of the Grand Duke, as well as Shrove Tuesday. I had prepared
for the occasion a superb dress of blue velvet, embroidered with gold.
As during my solitude, I had thought a great deal, I now determined
that, as far as depended on myself, I would make those who had
occasioned me so many and such various annoyances, feel that I was not
to be offended with impunity, and that it was not by ill-treatment they
could hope to gain either my affection or approbation. In consequence, I
neglected no opportunity of proving to the Schouvaloffs my feelings
towards them. I treated them with profound contempt, pointed out to
others their stupidity and ill-nature, turned them into ridicule
wherever I could, and had always some sarcasm ready to fling at them,
which afterwards flew through the city, and gratified malignity at their
expense: in a word, I took my revenge upon them in every way I could
think of, and, in their presence, never failed to distinguish, by my
attentions, those whom they disliked. As there were a great many people
who hated them, I was never at a loss for subjects. The Counts
Rasoumowsky, whom I had always liked, were caressed more than ever. I
redoubled my politeness and attention to every one except the
Schouvaloffs. In a word, I drew myself up, and, with head erect, stood
forth rather like the chief of a great party than a person humbled and
oppressed. The Schouvaloffs knew not what to make of me. They took
counsel, and had recourse to the tricks and intrigues of courtiers. At
this time there appeared in Russia, one Brockdorf, a gentleman from
Holstein, who, on a former visit, had been sent back over the frontiers,
by the party then in power, Brummer and Berkholz, because he was known
to be an intriguer, and a person of very bad character. This man came on
the scene quite opportunely for the Schouvaloffs. As he had a key, as
Chamberlain to the Grand Duke, in his character of Duke of Holstein,
this gave him the _entrée_ to his Imperial Highness, who, moreover, was
favourably disposed towards every fool who came from that country.
Brockdorf gained an introduction to Count Peter Schouvaloff, in the
following manner: In the inn where he lodged, he formed the acquaintance
of a man who never left the inns of St. Petersburg unless it were to
visit three young and rather pretty German girls, named Reifenstein, one
of whom enjoyed a pension allowed her by Count Peter Schouvaloff. This
man was called Braun; he was a kind of agent for all sorts of matters.
He introduced Brockdorf at the house of these girls, where he formed the
acquaintance of Count Peter Schouvaloff. The latter made great
protestations of affection for the Grand Duke, and by degrees complained
of me. All this M. Brockdorf reported to the Grand Duke, at the first
opportunity, and they stirred him up until he determined, as he
expressed it, to bring his wife to her senses. With this view, his
Imperial Highness came into my room one day after dinner, and told me
that I was becoming intolerably proud, but that he would bring me to my
senses. I asked him in what my pride consisted. He answered that I held
myself very erect. I asked whether, in order to please him, I must stoop
like the slaves of the Grand Seignior. He got angry, and said, he knew
how to bring me to reason. I inquired how this was to be done. Thereupon
he placed his back against the wall, and half unsheathing his sword,
showed it to me. I asked what he meant by that, for if he meant to fight
me, why then I must have one too. He replaced his half-drawn sword in
the scabbard, and told me that I had become dreadfully spiteful. "In
what respect?" I said. He replied, with a stammer, "Why, to the
Schouvaloffs." To this I answered that it was only tit for tat, and that
he had better not meddle with matters which he knew nothing about, and
could not understand. Upon this he exclaimed, "See what it is not to
trust one's true friends; one suffers for it. If you had confided in me,
it would have been well for you." "But in what should I have confided in
you?" I said. Then he began talking in a manner so utterly extravagant,
that finding it useless to reason with him, I let him go on without
interruption, and seized a favourable moment to advise him to go to bed,
for I saw clearly that wine had disturbed his reason and stupefied what
little sense he naturally possessed. He followed my advice, and retired.
At this time he began to have always about him an odour of wine mingled
with that of tobacco, which was really insupportable to all who came
close to him. The same evening, while I was playing at cards, Count
Alexander Schouvaloff came to me to signify, on behalf of the Empress,
that she had forbidden the ladies to use in their dress certain articles
of ornament specified in the announcement. To show him how far his
Imperial Highness had corrected me, I laughed at him to his face, and
told him he might have saved himself the trouble of notifying the order
to me, since I never wore any ornaments which were displeasing to her
Imperial Majesty; and that, besides, I did not make my merit consist in
beauty nor in ornament, for that when the one had faded, the other was
ridiculous, and that there was nothing permanent but character. He
listened to this to the end, winking his right eye, as was his custom,
and then went off with his grimaces. I called the attention of those who
were with me to this peculiarity, which I mimicked, making every one
laugh. A few days afterwards the Grand Duke told me he wished to ask the
Empress for money for his affairs in Holstein, which were getting worse
and worse every day, and that Brockdorf had advised him to do so. I saw
very clearly that they were but holding out a bait to him, to make him
hope for this money through the intervention of the Schouvaloffs. I
asked if there was no means of managing without it. He said he would
show me the representations which had been made to him from Holstein, on
that head. He did so, and after perusing the papers which he laid before
me, I said that it seemed to me he might manage without going begging to
his aunt, who, besides, might refuse him, as she had given him, not six
months ago, 100,000 roubles. However he kept to his own opinion, and I
to mine. For a long time he was buoyed up with hopes, but in the end he
got nothing.
After Easter we went to Oranienbaum. Before we set off, the Empress
allowed me to see my son for the third time since his birth. It was
necessary to go through all the apartments of her Imperial Majesty to
get to his chamber, where I found him in a stifling heat, as I have
already mentioned. On reaching the country we witnessed a phenomenon.
His Imperial Highness--though his Holstein subjects were continually
preaching to him of a deficit, while everybody was advising him to
diminish his useless retinue, which, after all, he could only see by
stealth and piecemeal--suddenly took the daring resolution of bringing
over an entire detachment. This again was a contrivance of that wretch
Brockdorf, who flattered the ruling passion of the Prince. To the
Schouvaloffs he represented that, by conniving at this hobby, they would
for ever ensure his favour, make him wholly theirs, and be certain of
his approbation in whatever they undertook. From the Empress, who
detested Holstein, and all that came from it, who had seen how similar
military crotchets had ruined the Grand Duke's father, the Duke Charles
Frederick, in the opinion of Peter I. and of the Russian public, it
would seem that the matter was so far concealed as to be represented to
her as a mere trifle, not worth speaking of; while, besides, the mere
presence of Count Schouvaloff was sufficient to prevent the affair from
assuming any consequence. Having embarked at Kiel, the detachment landed
at Cronstadt, and then marched to Oranienbaum. The Grand Duke, who in
Tchoglokoff's time had never worn the Holstein uniform, except in his
own room, and by stealth, as it were, now wore no other, except on court
days, although he was lieutenant-colonel of the Preobrajensky regiment,
and had besides a regiment of cuirassiers in Russia. From me, the Grand
Duke, by Brockdorf's advice, kept the transport of these troops a great
secret. I own that when I became aware of it, I shuddered at the
injurious effect which such a proceeding could not fail to have on the
minds of the Russian people, as well as in the opinion of the Empress,
of whose sentiments I was not at all ignorant. M. Alexander Schouvaloff
saw the detachment defile before the balcony at Oranienbaum, winking all
the while: I was by his side. In his heart he disapproved of what he and
his relations had agreed to tolerate. The guard of the Château of
Oranienbaum belonged to the regiment of Inguermanie, which alternated
with that of Astracan. I was informed that, when they saw the Holstein
troops pass, they muttered, "Those cursed Germans are all sold to the
King of Prussia; it is so many traitors they are bringing into Russia."
Generally speaking, the public was shocked at the apparition; the more
earnest shrugged their shoulders, the more moderate looked upon it as
simply ridiculous; in reality, it was a childish freak, but a very
imprudent one. As for me, I was silent, though, when the matter was
mentioned to me, I spoke my mind in such a manner as to show that I in
no way approved of a proceeding which, under every point of view, could
not but be injurious to the Grand Duke's interests. In fact, how was it
possible to arrive at any other conclusion? His mere pleasure could not
compensate for the injury which such a proceeding must do him in public
opinion. But the Duke, enchanted with his troop, took up his quarters in
the camp which he had prepared for it, where he was constantly employed
in exercising it. At last it required to be fed; but this had not been
thought of. The matter, however, was pressing, and there were some
debates with the Marshal of the Court, who was not prepared for such a
demand. At last he yielded, and the servants of the Court, with the
soldiers of the Inguermanie regiment, on guard at the château, were
employed in conveying provisions for the newly arrived, from the kitchen
of the château to the camp. The camp was at some distance from the
house; neither the servants nor the soldiers received anything for their
trouble; one may easily understand the effect of so sapient an
arrangement. The soldiers said, "They make us lackeys to those cursed
Germans." The servants said, "We have to wait upon a set of clowns."
When I saw and heard what was going on, I resolved to keep myself at as
great a distance as possible from this mischievous child's-play. The
gentlemen of our court, who were married, had their wives with them;
this made up a tolerably numerous company; no one, not even the
gentlemen, would have anything to do with this Holstein Camp, which the
Grand Duke never left. Thus, surrounded by these courtiers, I was out as
much as possible, but always on the side opposite to the camp, which we
never, by any chance, came near.
It was at this time that I took a fancy to form a garden at Oranienbaum,
and as I knew that the Grand Duke would not give me an inch of ground
for that purpose, I begged Prince Galitzine to sell or cede to me about
one hundred toises of some waste land which belonged to his family in
the immediate vicinity of Oranienbaum, and had been long since
abandoned. This land was owned by eight or ten members of the family,
but as it produced nothing, they willingly gave it up to me. I began
then to plan and plant, and as this was my first whim in the
constructive line, my plans assumed very grand proportions. My old
surgeon Gyon, seeing these things, said to me, "What is the good of all
this? Now, mark my words; I prophesy that you will one day abandon all
this." His prediction was verified. But I required some amusement at
the time, and this exercise of imagination was one. At first I employed,
in planting my garden, the gardener of Oranienbaum, whose name was
Lamberti. He had been in the service of the Empress, when she was
princess, on her estate at Zarskoe-Selo, whence he had been removed to
Oranienbaum. He was fond of predictions, and, among others, his
prediction relative to the Empress had been fulfilled. He had prophesied
that she would ascend the throne. He told me, and repeated it as often
as I was willing to listen to him, that I should become the Sovereign
Empress of Russia; that I should see sons, grandsons, and
great-grandsons; and that I should die at the advanced age of more than
fourscore years. He did more: he fixed the year of my accession to the
throne six years before the event. He was a very singular man, and one
who spoke with an assurance which nothing could disturb. He pretended
that the Empress was ill-disposed towards him, because he had foretold
to her what had come to pass, and that she had removed him from
Zarskoe-Selo to Oranienbaum in consequence of being afraid of him.
It was at Whitsuntide, I think, that we were recalled from Oranienbaum
to the city; and it was about the same time that the English Ambassador,
the Chevalier Williams,[12] came to Russia. He had in his suite Count
Poniatowsky, a Pole, the son of the one who had followed the fortunes of
Charles XII. of Sweden. After a short stay at the capital, we returned
to Oranienbaum, where the Empress ordered us to keep the Festival of St.
Peter. She did not come herself, because she did not wish to celebrate
the first _fête_ of my son Paul, which fell on the same day. She
remained at Peterhoff, and there placed herself at a window, where she
remained, it would seem, the whole day; for all who came to Oranienbaum
said they had seen her at that window. A very large company assembled.
The dance took place in the hall at the entrance of my garden, and we
afterwards supped there. The foreign ambassadors and ministers were
present. I remember that the English Ambassador, the Chevalier Williams,
sat near me at supper, and that we kept up a conversation as agreeable
as it was gay. As he was lively and well-informed, it was not difficult
to carry on a conversation with him. I afterwards learned that he had
been as much pleased as myself at this soirée and had spoken of me in
high terms. This, indeed, was what always happened when I chanced to be
with those who suited me in mind and character, and, as at that time, I
did not excite so much envy, I was generally well spoken of. I was
looked upon as a woman of mind; and many of those more intimately
acquainted with me, honoured me with their confidence, depended on me,
asked my advice, and found themselves the better for following it. The
Grand Duke had long since named me _Madame la Ressource_, and however
angry or sulky he might be, if he found himself at a loss on any point,
he would come running to me, in his usual style, to get my advice, and
then be off again as fast as he could. I likewise remember, at this same
feast of St. Peter, at Oranienbaum, seeing Count Poniatowsky dancing,
and I spoke to the Chevalier Williams about his father, and the mischief
he had done to Peter I. The English Ambassador spoke very favourably of
the son, and confirmed to me what I was already aware of, namely, that
his father and the Czartoriskys, his mother's family, then formed the
Russian party in Poland; that the son had been placed under his care,
and sent here in order to be brought up in the feelings of his family
towards Russia; and that they trusted he would succeed in this country.
He might then be about twenty-two or twenty-three years old. I replied
that, in general, I looked upon Russia as the stumbling-block of merit
for strangers, and considered that those who succeeded in Russia might
safely calculate upon success in every other part of Europe. This rule I
have always considered as infallible, for nowhere are people more quick
in detecting the weak points, absurdities, and defects of a stranger
than in Russia. A stranger may be sure that nothing will be overlooked,
for, naturally, no Russian really likes a foreigner.
About this time, I learned that the conduct of Sergius Soltikoff had
been anything but prudent, whether in Sweden or at Dresden. Besides, he
had made love to all the women he met. At first I would not believe
these reports; but at last they came from so many quarters, that even
his friends could not exculpate him. This year I became more than ever
attached to Anne Narichkine. Her brother-in-law, Leon, contributed much
to this. He always made a third with us, and there was no end to his
nonsense. He used sometimes to say to us, "I have a _bijou_, which I
mean to give to whichever of you two shall behave the best, and you will
be very much obliged to me for it." We let him talk on, without
troubling ourselves to inquire what this _bijou_ was.
In the autumn, the Holstein troops were sent off by sea, and we went to
occupy the Summer Palace. At this time Leon Narichkine fell ill of a
burning fever, during which he sent me letters, which I could easily see
were not his own. I replied to him. In these letters he asked me for
sweetmeats and such like trifles, and then returned thanks. The letters
were very well written, and very lively; he said he employed in them the
hand of his secretary. This secretary, I at last learned was Count
Poniatowsky, who never left him, and had become intimate with his
family. From the Summer Palace we removed, about the beginning of
winter, to the new Winter Palace which the Empress had just built. It
was of wood, and occupied the spot where the mansion of the
Tchitcherines now stands. It took up the whole quarter as far as the
residence of the Countess Matiouchkine, which then belonged to Naoumoff.
My windows faced this house, which was occupied by the maids of honour.
On entering the apartments destined for us, I was very much struck with
their size and loftiness. Four large ante-chambers and two chambers,
with a cabinet, were prepared for me, and the same number for the Grand
Duke. The rooms, too, were so disposed, that I was not incommoded by the
proximity of the Grand Duke's apartments. This was a great point gained.
Count Alexander Schouvaloff noticed my satisfaction, and immediately
informed the Empress that I was greatly delighted with the number and
size of my apartments. This he told me afterwards with a kind of
satisfaction, indicated by a smile and the winking of his eye.
At this period, and for a long time afterwards, the principal plaything
of the Grand Duke, while in town, consisted of an immense number of
little dolls, representing soldiers, formed of wood, lead, pith, and
wax. These he arranged on very narrow tables, which took up an entire
room, leaving scarcely space enough to pass between them. Along these
tables he had nailed narrow bands of brass, to which strings were
attached, and when he pulled these strings the brass bands made a noise
which, according to him, resembled the roll of musketry. He observed the
court festivals with great regularity, making these troops produce
their rolling fire; besides which he daily relieved guard, that is to
say, from every table was picked out the dolls that were assumed to be
on guard. He assisted at this parade in full uniform, boots, spurs,
gorget, and scarf. Such of his domestics as were admitted to this
precious exercise were obliged to appear in similar style.
Towards the winter of this year, I thought myself again pregnant. I was
bled. I had a cold, or, rather, I fancied I had one, in both sides of my
face; but after some days of suffering, four double teeth made their
appearance at the four extremities of my jaws. As our apartments were
very spacious, the Grand Duke had every week a ball and a concert. The
only persons who appeared at them were the maids of honour and the
gentlemen of our court, together with their wives. These balls were
thought interesting by those who assisted at them, who were never many.
The Narichkines were more companionable than the rest. Among them I
reckon Madame Siniavine and Madame Ismaïloff, Leon's sisters, together
with the wife of his elder brother, of whom I have already spoken. Leon,
more absurd than ever, and regarded by every one as a person of no sort
of consequence, as was indeed the case, had got into the habit of
running continually backwards and forwards between the Grand Duke's
apartments and mine, never stopping long anywhere. In order to gain
admittance into my room, he used to mew like a cat at my door, and when
I answered him, he would come in. On the 17th of December, between six
and seven o'clock in the evening, he announced himself in this fashion,
at my door; I desired him to come in. He began by presenting me with his
sister-in-law's compliments, saying that she was not well; and adding,
"but you ought to go and see her." I replied, "I would do so with
pleasure; but you know I cannot go out without permission, and they
will never give me permission to go to her house." "Oh! I will take you
there," he said. "Are you mad," I replied; "how can I go with you? You
would be sent to the Fortress, and God knows what trouble I should get
into." "Oh! but no one will know of it; we will take proper
precautions." "But how?" "Why, in this way: I will come and fetch you in
an hour or two's time. The Grand Duke will take supper" (for a long time
past, under the pretext of not wishing for supper, I had been in the
habit of staying in my own room); "he will remain at table for a
considerable part of the night, leave it very tipsy, and go to bed"
(since my confinement he generally slept in his own room); "for greater
security you can dress in man's clothes, and we will go together to Anna
Nikitichna Narichkine's." I began to feel tempted by the adventure, for
I was constantly in my room with my books, and without any company.
Finally, by dint of debating this mad project, for such it really was,
and such it appeared to me at first, I saw in it the possibility of
obtaining a moment's relaxation and amusement. He departed, and I called
a Kalmuck hair-dresser in my service, and desired him to bring me one of
my male dresses, and all belonging to it, as I wanted to make it a
present to some one. This young man was one of those persons who keep
their mouths closed; and it was more difficult to make him speak than it
was to make others hold their tongues. He executed his commission
promptly, and brought me everything I wanted. I feigned a headache, and
went to bed early. As soon as Madame Vladislava had undressed me and
retired, I got up and dressed myself from head to foot as a man,
arranging my hair in the best way I could. I was long in the habit of
doing this, and was by no means awkward at it. At the time appointed,
Narichkine made his appearance. He came through the apartments of the
Grand Duke, and mewed at my door. I opened it, and we passed through a
small ante-chamber into the hall, and entered his carriage without
having been seen by any one, laughing like a pair of fools at our
escapade. Leon lived in the same house with his brother and
sister-in-law.
On reaching it, we found there Anna Nikitichna, who suspected nothing,
and also Count Poniatowsky. Leon announced one of his friends, whom he
begged might be well received, and the evening passed in the wildest
gayety. After a visit of an hour and-a-half's duration, I took leave and
returned home without accident, and without having been met by any one.
The next day, which was the birthday of the Empress, both at court in
the morning, and at the ball in the evening, we could not look one
another in the face without being ready to burst out laughing at our
last night's folly. Some days later, Leon prepared a return visit, which
was to take place in my apartments; and, as before, he brought his
company into my room so skilfully, that no suspicion was excited. Thus
began the year 1756. We took a strange delight in these furtive
interviews. Not a week passed without one or two, and occasionally even
three of them taking place, sometimes at the residence of one party,
sometimes at that of another; and if any of us happened to be ill, the
visit was always to the invalid. Sometimes at the theatre, without
speaking, and simply by means of certain signs previously agreed on,
even although we might be in different boxes, and some of us, perhaps,
in the pit; yet, by a sign, each one knew where to go, and no mistake
ever occurred between us, except that on two occasions I had to return
home on foot, which, after all, was only a walk.
1756.