It is an unreasonable thing some Men expect of their Acquaintance.
They are ever complaining that they are out of Order, or displeas'd,
or they know not how; and are so far from letting that be a Reason for
retiring to their own Homes, that they make it their Argument for
coming into Company. What has any Body to do with Accounts of a Man's
being indispos'd but his Physician? If a man laments in Company, where
the rest are in Humour enough to enjoy themselves, he should not take
it ill if a Servant is order'd to present him with a Porringer of
Cawdle or Posset-drink, by way of Admonition that he go home to Bed.
That Part of Life which we ordinarily understand by the Word
Conversation, is an Indulgence to the sociable Part of our Make; and
should incline us to bring our Proportion of good Will or good Humour
among the Friends we meet with, and not to trouble them with Relations
which must of Necessity oblige them to a real or feign'd Affliction.
Cares, Distresses, Diseases, Uneasinesses, and Dislikes of our own,
are by no Means to be obtruded upon our Friends. If we would consider
how little of this Vicissitude of Motion and Rest, which we call Life,
is spent with Satisfaction; we should be more tender of our Friends,
than to bring them little Sorrows which do not belong to them. There
is no real Life, but chearful Life; therefore Valetudinarians should
be sworn, before they enter into Company, not to say a Word of
themselves till the Meeting breaks up. It is not here pretended, that
we should be always sitting with Chaplets of Flowers round our Heads,
or be crowned with Roses, in order to make our Entertainment agreeable
to us; but if (as it is usually observed) they who resolve to be
merry, seldom are so; it will be much more unlikely for us to be well
pleased, if they are admitted who are always complaining they are sad.
Whatever we do we should keep up the Chearfulness of our Spirits, and
never let them sink below an Inclination at least to be well pleased:
The Way to this, is to keep our Bodies in Exercise, our Minds at Ease.
That insipid State wherein neither are in Vigour, is not to be
accounted any Part of our Portion of Being. When we are in the
Satisfaction of some innocent Pleasure, or Pursuit of some laudable
Design, we are in the Possession of Life, of human Life. Fortune will
give us Disappointments enough, and Nature is attended with
Infirmities enough, without our adding to the unhappy Side of our
Account by our Spleen or ill Humour. Poor _Cottilus_, among so many
real Evils, a chronical Distemper and a narrow Fortune, is never heard
to complain: That equal Spirit of his, which any Man may have that,
like him, will conquer Pride, Vanity, and Affectation, and follow
Nature, is not to be broken, because it has no Points to contend for.
To be anxious for nothing but what Nature demands as necessary, if it
is not the way to an Estate, is the way to what Men aim at by getting
an Estate. This Temper will preserve Health in the Body, as well as
Tranquility in the Mind. _Cottilus_ sees the World in an Hurry, with
the same Scorn that a sober Person sees a Man drunk. Had he been
contented with what he ought to have been, how could, says he, such a
one have met with such a Disappointment? If another had valued his
Mistress for what he ought to have loved her, he had not been in her
Power: If her Virtue had had a Part of his Passion, her Levity had
been his Cure; she could not then have been false and amiable at the
same Time.
Since we cannot promise our selves constant Health, let us endeavour
at such a Temper as may be our best Support in the Decay of it.
_Uranius_ has arrived at that Composure of Soul, and wrought himself
up to such a Neglect of every thing with which the Generality of
Mankind is enchanted, that nothing but acute Pains can give him
Disturbance, and against those too he will tell his intimate Friends
he has a Secret which gives him present Ease. _Uranius_ is so
thoroughly perswaded of another Life, and endeavours so sincerely to
secure an Interest in it, that he looks upon Pain but as a quickening
of his Pace to an Home, where he shall be better provided for than in
his present Apartment. Instead of the melancholy Views which others
are apt to give themselves, he will tell you that he has forgot he is
mortal, nor will he think of himself as such. He thinks at the Time of
his Birth he entered into an eternal Being; and the short Article of
Death he will not allow an Interruption of Life, since that Moment is
not of half the Duration as is his ordinary Sleep. Thus is his Being
one uniform and consistent Series of chearful Diversions and moderate
Cares, without Fear or Hope of Futurity. Health to him is more than
Pleasure to another Man, and Sickness less affecting to him than
Indisposition is to others.
I must confess, if one does not regard Life after this Manner, none
but Idiots can pass it away with any tolerable Patience. Take a fine
Lady who is of a delicate Frame, and you may observe from the Hour she
rises a certain Weariness of all that passes about her. I know more
than one who is much too nice to be quite alive. They are sick of such
strange frightful People that they meet; one is so awkward and another
so disagreeable, that it looks like a Penance to breathe the same Air
with them. You see this is so very true, that a great Part of Ceremony
and Good-breeding among the Ladies turns upon their Uneasiness; and
I'll undertake, if the How-d'ye Servants of our Women were to make a
weekly Bill of Sickness, as the Parish Clerks do of Mortality, you
would not find in an Account of Seven Days, one in thirty that was not
downright Sick or indisposed, or but a very little better than she
was, and so forth.
It is certain, that to enjoy Life and Health as a constant Feast, we
should not think Pleasure necessary; but, if possible, to arrive at an
Equality of Mind. It is as mean to be overjoy'd upon Occasions of good
Fortune, as to be dejected in Circumstances of Distress. Laughter in
one Condition, is as unmanly as weeping in the other. We should not
form our Minds to expect Transport on every Occasion, but know how to
make Enjoyment to be out of Pain. Ambition, Envy, vagrant Desire, or
impertinent Mirth will take up our Minds, without we can possess our
selves in that Sobriety of Heart which is above all Pleasures, and can
be felt much better than described: But the ready Way, I believe, to
the right Enjoyment of Life, is by a Prospect towards another to have
but a very mean Opinion of it. A great Author of our Time has set this
in an excellent Light, when with a philosophick Pity of human Life he
spoke of it in his Theory of the Earth in the following Manner.
_For what is this Life but a Circulation of little mean Actions? We
lie down and rise again, dress and undress, feed and wax hungry, work
or play, and are weary, and then we lie down again, and the Circle
returns. We spend the Day in Trifles, and when the Night comes we
throw our selves into the Bed of Folly, amongst Dreams and broken
Thoughts and wild Imaginations. Our Reason lies asleep by us, and we
are for the Time as arrant Brutes as those that sleep in the Stalls or
in the Field. Are not the Capacities of Man higher than these? and
ought not his Ambition and Expectations to be greater? Let us be
Adventurers for another World: 'Tis at least a fair and noble Chance;
and there is nothing in this worth our Thoughts or our Passions. If we
should be disappointed, we are still no worse than the rest of our
Fellow-Mortals; and if we succeed in our Expectations, we are
eternally happy._
_Steele._