Home Culture.
The work of home culture should be made a matter of great importance to
every one, for upon it depends the happiness of earthly homes, as well
as our fitness for the enjoyment of the eternal home in heaven. The
sufferings endured here, friend for friend, parents for children,
unrequited sacrifices, cares and tears, all tend to discipline us, and
prepare us for the recompense which eternity brings.
CULTIVATE MORAL COURAGE.
Moral courage will be cultivated in your children as they observe that
you say and do whatever you conscientiously believe to be right and
true, without being influenced by the views of others; thus showing them
that you fear nothing so much as failing to do your duty. Perhaps this
may be difficult to do, but every mother can at least show her
appreciation of moral courage when she sees it exhibited by others, and
in this way incite its growth in the souls of her children. Moral
courage is a rare endowment, and those who possess it are able to act
with perfect independence of the opinions of others, and govern
themselves only by the laws of propriety, uprightness and charity.
THE PERNICIOUS INFLUENCE OF INDOLENCE.
If you would preserve your children from the pernicious influence of
indolence and all its corrupting tendencies, you must be earnest in
purpose, active, energetic and fervent in spirit. Earnestness sharpens
the faculties; indolence corrodes and dulls them. By the former we rise
higher and higher, by the latter we sink lower and lower. Indolence
begets discontent, envy and jealousy, while labor elevates the mind and
character. Cultivate in your children habits of thought which will keep
their minds occupied upon something that will be of use or advantage,
and prevent them from acquiring habits of idleness, if you would secure
their future well-being.
It has been said that he who performs no useful act in society, who
makes no human being happier, is leading a life of utter selfishness--a
life of sin--for a life of selfishness is a life of sin. There is
nowhere room for idleness. Work is both a duty and a necessity of our
nature, and a befitting reward will ever follow it. To foster and
encourage labor in some useful form, is a duty which parents should urge
upon their children, if they should seek their best good.
SELF-RESPECT.
It is the mother's duty to see that her children protect themselves from
the many pit-falls which surround them, such as malice, envy, conceit,
avariciousness, and other evils, by being clad in the armor of
self-respect; and then they will be able to encounter temptation and
corruption, unstained and unpolluted. This feeling of self-respect is
something stronger than self-reliance, higher than pride. It is an
energy of the soul which masters the whole being for its good, watching
with a never-ceasing vigilance. It is the sense of duty and the sense of
honor combined. It is an armor, which, though powerless to shield from
sorrows that purify and invigorate, yet will avert all hostile
influences that assail, from whatever source they come. The mother
having once made her children conscious that always and everywhere they
carry with them such an angel to shield, warn and rescue them, may let
them go out into the world, and fear nothing from the wiles and
temptations which may beset them.
RESULTS OF GOOD-BREEDING IN THE HOME CIRCLE.
The laws of good-breeding in no place bear more gratifying results than
in the home circle. Here, tempered with love, and nurtured by all kindly
impulses, they bear the choicest fruit. A true lady will show as much
courtesy, and observe the duties of politeness as unfailingly, toward
every member of her family as toward her most distinguished guest. A
true gentleman will feel bound to exercise courtesy and kindness in his
intercourse with those who depend upon him for protection and example.
Children influenced by such examples at home, will never fail to show to
their elders the respect due them, to their young companions the same
consideration for their feelings which they expect to meet with in
return, nor to servants that patience which even the best too often
require. In such a home peace and good will are the household gods.
FAULT-FINDING AND GRUMBLING.
The oil of civility is required to make the wheels of domestic life run
smoothly. The habit of fault-finding and grumbling indulged in by some,
is an exceedingly vexatious one, and will, in time, ruffle the calmest
spirit and the sweetest temper. It is the little annoyances,
perplexities and misfortunes which often render life a burden; the
little omission of minor duties and the committing of little faults that
perpetually scourge us and keep the heart sore. Constant fault-finding,
persistent misrepresentations of motives, suspicions of evil where no
evil was intended, will complete the work in all but the finest and most
heroic natures. They alone can stand the fiery test, coming out purer
and stronger for the ordeal. Children who habitually obey the
commandment, "Be kind to one another," will find in mature life, how
strong the bonds of affection may be that bind the members of the
household together.
FAMILY JARS NOT TO BE MADE PUBLIC.
Whatever may be the family disagreements, they should never be made
known outside of the home circle, if it can be avoided. Those who expose
the faults of the members of their family are severely judged by the
world, and no provocation can be a good excuse for it. It is exceedingly
vulgar, not to say unchristianlike, for the members of the same family
to be at enmity with one another.
YIELDING TO ONE ANOTHER.
One of the greatest disciplines of human life, is that which teaches us
to yield our wills to those who have a claim upon us to do so, even in
trifling, every-day affairs; the wife to the husband, children to
parents, to teachers and to one another. In cases where principle is
concerned, it is, of course, necessary to be firm, which requires an
exercise of moral courage.
CONFLICTING INTERESTS.
Conflicting interests are a fruitful source of family difficulties. The
command of Christ to the two brothers who came to Him with their
disputes, "Beware of covetousness," is as applicable among members of
the same family now, as it was when those words were spoken. It is
better that you have few or no business transactions with any one who is
near and dear to you, and connected by family ties. In business
relations men are apt to be very exact, because of their habits of
business, and this exactness is too often construed by near friends and
relatives as actuated by purely selfish motives. Upon this rock many a
bark of family love has been wrecked.
RELIGIOUS EDUCATION.
It is well to remember that every blessing of our lives, every joy of
our hearts and every ray of hope shed upon our pathway, have had their
origin in religion, and may be traced in all their hallowed, healthful
influences to the Bible. With the dawn of childhood, then, in the
earliest days of intelligence, should the mind be impressed and stored
with religious truth, and nothing should be allowed to exclude or efface
it. It should be taught so early that the mind will never remember when
it began to learn; it will then have the character of innate, inbred
principles, incorporated with their very being.
OBEDIENCE.
If you would not have all your instructions and counsels ineffectual,
teach your children to obey. Government in a family is the great
safeguard of religion and morals, the support of order and the source of
prosperity. Nothing has a greater tendency to bring a curse upon a
family than the insubordination and disobedience of children, and there
is no more painful and disgusting sight than an ungoverned child.
INFLUENCE OF EXAMPLE.
Never forget that the first book children read is their parents'
example--their daily deportment. If this is forgotten you may find, in
the loss of your domestic peace, that while your children well know the
right path, they follow the wrong.
Childhood is like a mirror, catching and reflecting images all around
it. Remember that an impious, profane or vulgar thought may operate upon
the heart of a young child like a careless spray of water upon polished
steel, staining it with rust that no efforts can thoroughly efface.
Improve the first ten years of life as the golden opportunity, which may
never return. It is the seed time, and your harvest depends upon the
seed then sown.
THE INFLUENCE OF BOOKS.
Few mothers can over-estimate the influence which the companionship of
books exerts in youth upon the habits and tastes of their children, and
no mother who has the welfare of her children at heart will neglect the
important work of choosing the proper books for them to read, while they
are under her care. She should select for them such as will both
interest and instruct, and this should be done during the early years,
before their minds shall have imbibed the pernicious teachings of bad
books and sensational novels. The poison imbibed from bad books works so
secretly that their influence for evil is even greater than the
influence of bad associates. The mother has it in her power to make
such books the companions and friends of her children as her good
judgment may select, and to impress upon them their truths, by
conversing with them about the moral lessons or the intellectual
instructions they contain. A taste may be easily cultivated for books on
natural science and for history, as well as for those that teach
important and wholesome lessons for the young, such as are contained in
the works of Mrs. Edgeworth, Mrs. Child, Mrs. Yonge, and many other
books written for the young.
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