Home Training.
Our earliest and best recollections are associated with home. There the
first lessons of infancy are learned. The mother's heart is the child's
first school-room. The parents' examples are first imitated by the
child, whose earliest impressions are gained from them. In no way are
evil habits more effectually propagated than by example, and therefore
parents should be what they wish their children to be.
THE MOTHER'S INFLUENCE.
To the mother belongs the privilege of planting in the hearts of her
children those seeds of love, which, nurtured and fostered, will bear
the fruit of earnest and useful lives. It is she who must fit them to
meet the duties and emergencies of life, and in this work of training
she keeps her heart fresh and young, and thereby insures the growth of
those powers with which nature has endowed her.
As the faculties of man, woman or child are brought into active
exercise, so do they become strengthened, and the mother, in doing her
work in the training of her children, grows in wisdom, in knowledge and
in power, thus enabling her the better to perform her duties.
PARENTS SHOULD SET GOOD EXAMPLES.
As children first acquire knowledge and habits from the examples of
their parents, the latter should be circumspect in all their actions,
manners and modes of speech. If you wish your children's faces illumined
with good humor, contentment and satisfaction, so that they will be
cheerful, joyous and happy, day by day, then must your own countenance
appear illumined by the sunshine of love. Kind words, kind deeds and
loving looks are true works of charity, and they are needed in our home
circle.
Never a tear bedims the eye,
That time and patience can not dry;
Never a lip is curved with pain,
That can not be kissed into smiles again.
Your children will form habits of evil speaking if they hear you deal
lightly with the reputation of another--if they hear you slander or
revile your neighbor. If you wish your child to show charity toward the
erring, you must set the example by the habitual exercise of that virtue
yourself. Without this your teaching will be of but little avail. If you
take pleasure in dwelling upon the faults of others, if you refuse to
cover over their infirmities with the mantle of charity, your example
will nullify your teaching, and your admonitions will be lost.
COURTESIES IN THE HOME CIRCLE.
Mothers should early train their children to regard all the courtesies
of life as scrupulously toward each other as to mere acquaintances and
strangers. This is the only way in which you can secure to them the
daily enjoyment of a happy home. When the external forms of courtesy are
disregarded in the family circle, we are sure to find contention and
bickering perpetually recurring. Rudeness is a constant source of
bickering. Each will have his own way of being rude, and each will be
angry at some portion of the ill-breeding of all the rest, thus
provoking accusations and retorts. Where the rule of life is to do good
and to make others happy, there will be found the art of securing a
happy home. It is said that there is something higher in politeness than
Christian moralists have recognized. In its best forms, none but the
truly religious man can show it, for it is the sacrifice of self in the
habitual matters of life--always the best test of our principles--together
with a respect for man as our brother, under the same great destiny.
EARLY MORAL TRAINING.
The true test of the success of any education is its efficiency in
giving full use of the moral and intellectual faculties wherewith to
meet the duties and the struggles of life, and not by the variety of
knowledge acquired. The development of the powers of the mind and its
cultivation are the work of a teacher; moral training is the work of
the mother, and commences long before one word of precept can be
understood. Children should be early taught to regard the rights of
others, that they may early learn the rights which property confers and
not entertain confused ideas upon this subject.
FORMATION OF HABITS.
Virtue is the child of good habits, and the formation of habits may be
said to almost constitute the whole work of education. The mother can
create habits which shall mold character and enable the mind to maintain
that habitual sense of duty which gives command over the passions, and
power to fight temptation, and which makes obedience to principle
comparatively easy, under most circumstances. The social and domestic
life are marred by habits which have grown into a second nature. It is
not in an occasional act of civility that the charm of either home or
society consists, but in continued practice of courtesy and respect for
the rights and feelings of those around us. Whatever may be the precepts
for a home, the practices of the fireside will give form to the habits.
Parents who indulge in gossip, scandal, slander and tale-telling, will
rear children possessing the same tastes and deteriorating habits. A
parent's example outlines the child's character. It sinks down deep into
his heart and influences his whole life for good or for evil. A parent
should carefully avoid speaking evil of others, and should never exhibit
faults requiring the mantle of charity to cover. A parent's example
should be such as to excite an abhorrence of evil speaking, of tattling
and of uncharitable construction of the motives of others. Let the
mother begin the proper training of her children in early life and she
will be able to so mold their characters that not only will they acquire
the habit of bridling the tongue, but they will learn to avoid the
presence of the slanderer as they do a deadly viper.
POLITENESS AT HOME.
Genuine politeness is a great fosterer of domestic love, and those who
are habitually polished at home are those who exhibit good manners when
abroad. When parents receive any little attention from their children,
they should thank them for it. They should ask a favor only in a
courteous way; never reply to questions in monosyllables, or indulge in
the rudeness of paying no attention to a question, for such an example
will be surely followed by the children. Parents sometimes thoughtlessly
allow their children to form habits of disrespect in the home circle,
which crop out in the bad manners that are found in society.
HOW TO REPROVE.
Parents should never check expressions of tenderness in their children,
nor humiliate them before others. This will not only cause suffering to
little sensitive hearts, but will tend to harden them. Reproof, if
needed, should be administered to each child singly and alone.
CHEERFULNESS AT THE TABLE.
Children should not be prohibited from laughing and talking at the
table. Joyousness promotes the circulation of the blood, enlivens and
invigorates it, and sends it to all parts of the system, carrying with
it animation, vigor and life. Controversy should not be permitted at the
table, nor should any subjects which call forth political or religious
difference. Every topic introduced should be calculated to instruct,
interest or amuse. Business matters, past disappointments and mishaps
should not be alluded to, nor should bad news be spoken of at the table,
nor for half an hour before. All conversation should be of joyous and
gladsome character, such as will bring out pleasant remarks and
agreeable associations. Reproof should never be administered at the
table, either to a child or to a servant; no fault found with anything,
and no unkind word should be spoken. If remarks are to be made of absent
ones, they should be of a kind and charitable nature. Thus will the
family table be the center of pleasant memories in future years, when
the family shall have been scattered far and near, and some, perhaps,
have been laid in their final resting-place.
TRAIN CHILDREN FOR SOME OCCUPATION.
Chancellor Kent says: "Without some preparation made in youth for the
sequel of life, children of all conditions would probably become idle
and vicious when they grow up, from want of good instruction and habits,
and the means of subsistence, or from want of rational and useful
occupations. A parent who sends his son into the world without educating
him in some art, science, profession or business, does great injury to
mankind, as well as to his son and his own family, for he defrauds the
community of a useful citizen, and bequeaths to it a nuisance. That
parent who trains his child for some special occupation, who inspires
him with a feeling of genuine self-respect, has contributed a useful
citizen to society."
BAD TEMPER.
Dread an insubordinate temper, and deal with it as one of the greatest
evils. Let the child feel by your manner that he is not a safe companion
for the rest of the family when he is in anger. Allow no one to speak to
him at such times, not even to answer a question. Take from him books,
and whatever he may have, and place him where he shall feel that the
indulgence of a bad temper shall deprive him of all enjoyment, and he
will soon learn to control himself.
SELFISHNESS.
Selfishness that binds the miser in his chains, that chills the heart,
must never be allowed a place in the family circle. Teach the child to
share his gifts and pleasures with others, to be obliging, kind and
benevolent, and the influence of such instruction may come back into
your own bosom, to bless your latest hours.
HOME MAXIMS FOR TRAINING CHILDREN.
Remember that children are men and women in miniature, and though they
should be allowed to act as children, still our dealings with them
should be manly and not morose. Remember also that every word, tone and
gesture, nay, even your dress, makes an impression.
Never correct a child on suspicion, or without understanding the whole
matter, nor trifle with a child's feelings when under discipline.
Be always mild and cheerful in their presence, communicative, but never
extravagant, trifling or vulgar in language or gesture. Never trifle
with a child nor speak beseechingly when it is doing wrong.
Always follow commands with a close and careful watch, until the thing
is done, allowing no evasion and no modification, unless the child ask
for it, and it be expressly granted.
Never reprove children severely in company, nor hold them up to
ridicule, nor make light of their failings.
Never speak in an impatient, pitiful manner, if you have occasion to
find fault.
Never say to a child, "I don't believe what you say," nor even imply
your doubts. If you have such feelings, keep them to yourself and wait;
the truth will eventually be made plain.
Never disappoint the confidence a child places in you, whether it be a
thing placed in your care or a promise.
Always give prompt attention to a child when he speaks, so as to
prevent repeated calls, and that he may learn to give prompt attention
when you call him.
Never try to impress a child with religious truth when in anger, or talk
to him of God, as it will not have the desired effect. Do it under more
favorable circumstances.
At the table a child should be taught to sit up and behave in a becoming
manner, not to tease when denied, nor to leave his chair without asking.
A parent's wish at such time should be a law from which no appeal should
be made.
Even in sickness gentle restraint is better for a child than indulgence.
There should never be two sets of manners, the one for home and the
other for company, but a gentle behavior should be always required.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: MUSIC.
"A protection against vice,
An incentive to virtue."]