Etiquette of Travelling.
There is nothing that tests the natural politeness of men and women so
thoroughly as traveling. We all desire as much comfort as possible and
as a rule are selfish. In these days of railroad travel, when every
railway is equipped with elegant coaches for the comfort, convenience
and sometimes luxury of its passengers, and provided with gentlemanly
conductors and servants, the longest journeys by railroad can be made
alone by self-possessed ladies with perfect safety and but little
annoyance. Then, too, a lady who deports herself as such may travel from
the Atlantic to the Pacific, from Maine to the Gulf of Mexico, and meet
with no affront or insult, but on the contrary receive polite attentions
at every point, from men who may chance to be her fellow-travelers. This
may be accounted for from the fact that, as a rule in America, all men
show a deferential regard for women, and are especially desirous of
showing them such attentions as will render a long and lonesome journey
as pleasant as possible.
DUTIES OF AN ESCORT.
However self-possessed and ladylike in all her deportment and general
bearing a lady may be, and though capable of undertaking any journey,
howsoever long it may be, an escort is at all times much more pleasant,
and generally acceptable. When a gentleman undertakes the escort of a
lady, he should proceed with her to the depot, or meet her there, a
sufficient time before the departure of the train to attend to the
checking of her baggage, procure her ticket, and obtain for her an
eligible seat in the cars, allowing her to choose such seat as she
desires. He will then dispose of her packages and hand-baggage in their
proper receptacle, and make her seat and surroundings as agreeable for
her as possible, taking a seat near her, or by the side of her if she
requests it, and do all he can to make her journey a pleasant one.
Upon arriving at her destination, he should conduct her to the ladies'
waiting-room or to a carriage, until he has attended to her baggage,
which he arranges to have delivered where the lady requests it. He
should then escort her to whatever part of the city she is going and
deliver her into the hands of her friends before relaxing his care. On
the following day he should call upon her to inquire after her health.
It is optional with the lady whether the acquaintance shall be prolonged
or not after this call. If the lady does not wish to prolong the
acquaintance, she can have no right, nor can her friends, to request a
similar favor of him at another time.
THE DUTY OF A LADY TO HER ESCORT.
The lady may supply her escort with a sum of money ample to pay all the
expenses of the journey before purchasing her ticket, or furnish him the
exact amount required, or, at the suggestion of her escort, she may
allow him to defray the expenses from his own pocket, and settle with
him at the end of the journey. The latter course, however, should only
be pursued when the gentleman suggests it, and a strict account of the
expenses incurred must be insisted on.
A lady should give her attendant as little trouble and annoyance as
possible, and she should make no unnecessary demands upon his good
nature and gentlemanly services. Her hand-baggage should be as small as
circumstances will permit, and when once disposed of, it should remain
undisturbed until she is about to leave the car, unless she should
absolutely require it. As the the train nears the end of her journey,
she will deliberately gather together her effects preparatory to
departure, so that when the train stops she will be ready to leave the
car at once and not wait to hurriedly grab her various parcels, or cause
her escort unnecessary delay.
A LADY TRAVELING ALONE.
A lady, in traveling alone, may accept services from her
fellow-travelers, which she should always acknowledge graciously.
Indeed, it is the business of a gentleman to see that the wants of an
unescorted lady are attended to. He should offer to raise or lower her
window if she seems to have any difficulty in doing it herself. He may
offer his assistance in carrying her packages upon leaving the car, or
in engaging a carriage or obtaining a trunk. Still, women should learn
to be as self-reliant as possible; and young women particularly should
accept proffered assistance from strangers, in all but the slightest
offices, very rarely.
LADIES MAY ASSIST OTHER LADIES.
It is not only the right, but the duty of ladies to render any
assistance or be of any service to younger ladies, or those less
experienced in traveling than themselves. They may show many little
courtesies which will make the journey less tedious to the inexperienced
traveler, and may give her important advice or assistance which may be
of benefit to her. An acquaintance formed in traveling, need never be
retained afterwards. It is optional whether it is or not.
THE COMFORT OF OTHERS.
In seeking his own comfort, no passenger has a right to overlook or
disregard that of others. If for his own comfort, he wishes to raise or
lower a window he should consult the wishes of passengers immediately
around him before doing so. The discomforts of traveling should be borne
cheerfully, for what may enhance your own comfort may endanger the
health of some fellow-traveler.
ATTENDING TO THE WANTS OF OTHERS.
See everywhere and at all times that ladies and elderly people have
their wants supplied before you think of your own. Nor is there need for
unmanly haste or pushing in entering or leaving cars or boats. There is
always time enough allowed for each passenger to enter in a gentlemanly
manner and with a due regard to the rights of others.
If, in riding in the street-cars or crossing a ferry, your friend
insists on paying for you, permit him to do so without serious
remonstrance. You can return the favor at some other time.
READING WHEN TRAVELLING.
If a gentleman in traveling, either on cars or steamboat, has provided
himself with newspapers or other reading, he should offer them to his
companions first. If they are refused, he may with propriety read
himself, leaving the others free to do the same if they wish.
OCCUPYING TOO MANY SEATS.
No lady will retain possession of more than her rightful seat in a
crowded car. When others are looking for accommodations she should at
once and with all cheerfulness so dispose of her baggage that the seat
beside her may be occupied by anyone who desires it, no matter how
agreeable it may be to retain possession of it.
It shows a great lack of proper manners to see two ladies, or a lady
and gentleman turn over the seat in front of them and fill it with their
wraps and bundles, retaining it in spite of the entreating or
remonstrating looks of fellow-passengers. In such a case any person who
desires a seat is justified in reversing the back, removing the baggage
and taking possession of the unused seat.
RETAINING POSSESSION OF A SEAT.
A gentleman in traveling may take possession of a seat and then go to
purchase tickets or look after baggage or procure a lunch, leaving the
seat in charge of a companion, or depositing traveling-bag or overcoat
upon it to show that it is engaged. When a seat is thus occupied, the
right of possession must be respected, and no one should presume to take
a seat thus previously engaged, even though it may be wanted for a lady.
A gentleman cannot, however, in justice, vacate his seat to take another
in the smoking-car, and at the same time reserve his rights to the first
seat. He pays for but one seat, and by taking another he forfeits the
first.
It is not required of a gentleman in a railway car to relinquish his
seat in favor of a lady, though a gentleman of genuine breeding will do
so rather than allow the lady to stand or suffer inconvenience from poor
accommodations.
In the street cars the case is different. No woman should be allowed to
stand while there is a seat occupied by a man. The inconvenience to the
man will be temporary and trifling at the most, and he can well afford
to suffer it rather than to do an uncourteous act.
DISCRETION IN FORMING ACQUAINTANCES.
While an acquaintance formed in a railway car or on a steamboat,
continues only during the trip, discretion should be used in making
acquaintances. Ladies may, as has been stated, accept small courtesies
and favors from strangers, but must check at once any attempt at
familiarity. On the other hand, no man who pretends to be a gentleman
will attempt any familiarity. The practice of some young girls just
entering into womanhood, of flirting with any young man they may chance
to meet, either in a railway car or on a steamboat, indicates
low-breeding in the extreme. If, however, the journey is long, and
especially if it be on a steamboat, a certain sociability may be
allowed, and a married lady or a lady of middle age may use her
privileges to make the journey an enjoyable one, for fellow-passengers
should always be sociable to one another.
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