Visiting and Calling Cards.
An authentic writer upon visiting cards says: "To the unrefined or
underbred, the visiting card is but a trifling and insignificant bit of
paper; but to the cultured disciple of social law, it conveys a subtle
and unmistakable intelligence. Its texture, style of engraving, and even
the hour of leaving it combine to place the stranger, whose name it
bears, in a pleasant or a disagreeable attitude, even before his
manners, conversation and face have been able to explain his social
position. The higher the civilization of a community, the more careful
it is to preserve the elegance of its social forms. It is quite as easy
to express a perfect breeding in the fashionable formalities of cards,
as by any other method, and perhaps, indeed, it is the safest herald of
an introduction for a stranger. Its texture should be fine, its
engraving a plain script, its size neither too small, so that its
recipients shall say to themselves, 'A whimsical person,' nor too large
to suggest ostentation. Refinement seldom touches extremes in
anything."
CALLING CARDS.
A card used in calling should have nothing upon it but the name of the
caller. A lady's card should not bear her place of residence; such cards
having, of late, been appropriated by the members of the demi-monde. The
street and number always look better upon the card of the husband than
upon that of the wife. When necessary, they can be added in pencil on
the cards of the wife and daughter. A business card should never be used
for a friendly call. A physician may put the prefix "Dr.," or the affix
"M.D.," upon his card, and an army or navy officer his rank and branch
of service.
WEDDING CARDS.
Wedding cards are only sent to those people whom the newly married
couple desire to keep among their acquaintances, and it is then the duty
of those receiving the cards to call first on the young couple.
An ancient custom, but one which has been recently revived, is for the
friends of the bride and groom to send cards; these are of great variety
in size and design, and resemble Christmas or Easter cards but are
usually more artistic.
CHRISTMAS AND EASTER CARDS.
A very charming custom that is coming into vogue is the giving or
sending of Easter and Christmas cards. These are of such elegant designs
and variety of colors that the stationer takes great pride in
decorating his shop windows with them; indeed some of them are so
elegant as to resemble oil paintings. Books and other small offerings
may accompany cards as a token of remembrance.
CARDS TO SERVE FOR CALLS.
A person may make a card serve the purpose of a call, and it may either
be sent in an envelope, by messenger or left in person. If left in
person, one corner should be turned down. To indicate that a call is
made on all or several members of the family; the card for the lady of
the house is folded in the middle. If guests are visiting at the house,
a card is left for each guest.
ENCLOSING A CARD IN AN ENVELOPE.
To return a call made in person with a card inclosed in an envelope, is
an intimation that visiting between the parties is ended. Those who
leave or send their cards with no such intention, should not inclose
them in an envelope. An exception to this rule is where they are sent in
return to the newly married living in other cities, or in answering
wedding cards forwarded when absent from home. P.P.C. cards are also
sent in this way, and are the only cards that it is as yet universally
considered admissible to send by post.
SIZE AND STYLE OF VISITING OR CALLING CARDS.
A medium sized is in better taste than a very large card for married
persons. Cards bearing the name of the husband alone are smaller. The
cards of unmarried men should also be small. The engraving in simple
writing is preferred, and without flourishes. Nothing in cards can be
more commonplace than large printed letters, be the type what it may.
Young men should dispense with the "Mr." before their names.
[Illustration: CALLING CARDS.]
CORNERS OF CARDS TURNED DOWN.
The signification of turning down the corners of cards are:
_Visite_--The right hand upper corner.
_Felicitation_--The left hand upper corner.
_Condolence_--The left hand lower corner.
_P.P.C._ }
_To Take Leave_ } The right hand lower corner.
Card, right hand end turned down--_Delivered in Person._
CARD FOR MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.
The name of young ladies are sometimes printed or engraved on their
mother's cards; both in script. It is, of course, allowable, for the
daughter to have cards of her own.
Some ladies have adopted the fashion of having the daughter's name on
the same card with their own and their husband's names.
GLAZED CARDS.
Glazed cards are quite out of fashion, as are cards and note paper with
gilt edges. The fashion in cards, however, change so often, that what is
in style one year, may not be the next.
P.P.C. CARDS.
A card left at a farewell visit, before a long protracted absence, has
"P.P.C." (Pour Prendre Conge) written in one corner. It is not necessary
to deliver such cards in person, for they may be sent by a messenger, or
by post if necessary. P.P.C. cards are not left when the absence from
home is only for a few months, nor by persons starting in mid-summer for
a foreign country, as residents are then supposed to be out of town.
They are sent to or left with friends by ladies just previous to their
contemplated marriage to serve the purpose of a call.
CARDS OF CONGRATULATION.
Cards of congratulation must be left in person, or a congratulatory
note, if desired, can be made to serve instead of a call; excepting
upon the newly married. Calls in person are due to them, and to the
parents who have invited you to the marriage. When there has been a
reception after the ceremony, which you have been unable to attend, but
have sent cards by some member of your family, your cards need not again
represent you until they have been returned, with the new residence
announced; but a call is due to the parents or relatives who have given
the reception. When no wedding cards are sent you, nor the card of the
bridegroom, you cannot call without being considered intrusive. One
month after the birth of a child the call of congratulation is made by
acquaintances.
LEAVE CARDS IN MAKING FIRST CALL.
In making the first calls of the season (in the autumn) both ladies and
gentlemen should leave a card each, at every house called upon, even if
the ladies are receiving. The reason of this is that where a lady is
receiving morning calls, it would be too great a tax upon her memory to
oblige her to keep in mind what calls she has to return or which of them
have been returned, and in making out lists for inviting informally, it
is often the card-stand which is first searched for bachelors' cards, to
meet the emergency. Young men should be careful to write their street
and number on their cards.
LEAVE CARDS AFTER AN INVITATION.
After an invitation, cards must be left upon those who have sent it,
whether it is accepted or not. They must be left in person, and if it
is desired to end the acquaintance the cards can be left without
inquiring whether the ladies are at home.
Gentlemen should not expect to receive invitations from ladies with whom
they are only on terms of formal visiting, until the yearly or autumnal
call has been made, or until their cards have been left to represent
themselves.
CARDS IN MEMORIAM.
These are a loving tribute to the memory of the departed; an English
custom rapidly gaining favor with us; it announces to friends the death,
of which they might remain in ignorance but for this mark of respect:
[Illustration:
George A. Custer
Lieutenant-Colonel Seventh Cavalry,
Brevet Major-General United States Army,
Born December 5th, 1839,
Harrison County, Ohio,
Killed, with his entire Command, in the
Battle of Little Big Horn,
June 25th, 1876.
* * * * *
Oh, Custer--Gallant Custer! man fore-doomed
Go ride, like Rupert, spurred and waving-plumed,
Into the very jaws of death.]
CARDS OF CONDOLENCE.
Cards of condolence left by mere acquaintances must be returned by
"mourning cards" before such persons feel at liberty to make a call.
When the bereaved are ready to receive calls (instead of the cards) of
their acquaintances, "mourning cards" in envelopes, or otherwise, are
returned to all those who have left their cards since the death, which
was the occasion of the cards being left. Intimate friends, of course,
do not wait for cards, but continue their calls, without regard to any
ceremonious observances made for the protection of the bereaved.
Acquaintances leaving cards should inquire after the health of the
family, leaving the cards in person.
MOURNING CARDS.
On announcement of a death it is correct to call in person at the door;
to make inquiries and leave your card, with lower left hand corner
turned down. Unless close intimacy exists, it is not usage to ask to see
the afflicted. Cards can be sent to express sympathy, but notes of
condolence are permissible only from intimate friends.
A BRIDEGROOM'S CARD.
When only the family and the most intimate friends of a bride and
bridegroom have been included in the invitation for the marriage, or
where there has been no reception after the marriage at church, the
bridegroom often sends his bachelor card (inclosed in an envelope) to
those of his acquaintances with whom he wishes to continue on visiting
terms. Those who receive a card should call on the bride, within ten
days after she has taken possession of her home. Some persons have
received such a card as an intimation that the card was to end the
acquaintance. This mistake shows the necessity of a better understanding
of social customs.
[Illustration]