Girls are usually, but not necessarily, wedded before
adolescence. Occasionally a Panwar boy who cannot afford a regular
marriage will enter his prospective father-in-law's house and serve him
for a year or more, when he will obtain a daughter in marriage. And
sometimes a girl will contract a liking for some man or boy of the
caste and will go to his house, leaving her home. In such cases the
parents accept the accomplished fact, and the couple are married. If
the boy's parents refuse their consent they are temporarily put
out of caste, and subsequently the neighbours will not pay them the
customary visits on the occasions of family joys and griefs. Even if
a girl has lived with a man of another caste, as long as she has not
borne a child, she may be re-admitted to the community on payment of
such penalty as the elders may determine. If her own parents will not
take her back, a man of the same _gotra_ or section is appointed as
her guardian and she can be married from his house.
The ceremonies of a Panwar marriage are elaborate. Marriage-sheds are
erected at the houses both of the bride and bridegroom in accordance
with the usual practice, and just before the marriage, parties
are given at both houses; the village watchman brings the _toran_
or string of mango-leaves, which is hung round the marriage-shed
in the manner of a triumphal arch, and in the evening the party
assembles, the men sitting at one side of the shed and the women at
the other. Presents of clothes are made to the child who is to be
married, and the following song is sung:
The mother of the bride grew angry and went away to the mango
grove.
Come soon, come quickly, Mother, it is the time for giving clothes.
The father of the bridegroom has sent the bride a fold of cloth
from his house,
The fold of it is like the curve of the winnowing-fan, and there
is a bodice decked with coral and pearls.
Before the actual wedding the father of the bridegroom goes to
the bride's house and gives her clothes and other presents, and the
following is a specimen given by Mr. Muhammad Yusuf of the songs sung
on this occasion:
Five years old to-day is Baja Bai the bride;
Send word to the mother of the bridegroom;
Her dress is too short, send for the Koshta, Husband;
The Koshta came and wove a border to the dress.
Afterwards the girl's father goes and makes similar presents to the
bridegroom. After many preliminary ceremonies the marriage procession
proper sets forth, consisting of men only. Before the boy starts
his mother places her breast in his mouth; the maid-servants stand
before him with vessels of water, and he puts a pice in each. During
the journey songs are sung, of which the following is a specimen:
The linseed and gram are in flower in Chait. [391]
O! the boy bridegroom is going to another country;
O Mother! how may he go to another country?
Make payment before he enters another country;
O Mother! how may he cross the border of another country?
Make payment before he crosses the border of another country;
O Mother! how may he touch another's bower?
Make payment before he touches another's bower;
O Mother! how shall he bathe with strange water?
Make payment before he bathes with strange water;
O Mother! how may he eat another's _banwat_? [392]
Make payment before he eats another's _banwat_;
O Mother! how shall he marry another woman?
He shall wed her holding the little finger of her left hand.
The bridegroom's party are always driven to the wedding in
bullock-carts, and when they approach the bride's village her
people also come to meet them in carts. All the party then turn and
race to the village, and the winner obtains much distinction. The
cartmen afterwards go to the bridegroom's father and he has to
make them a present of from one to forty rupees. On arriving at
the village the bridegroom is carried to Devi's shrine in a man's
arms, while four other men hold a canopy over him, and from there
to the marriage-shed. He touches a bamboo of this, and a man seated
on the top pours turmeric and water over his head. Five men of the
groom's party go to the bride's house carrying salt, and here their
feet are washed and the _tika_ or mark of anointing is made on their
foreheads. Afterwards they carry rice in the same manner and with this
is the wedding-rice, coloured yellow with turmeric and known as the
Lagun-gath. Before sunset the bridegroom goes to the bride's house for
the wedding. Two baskets are hung before Dulha Deo's shrine inside
the house, and the couple are seated in these with a cloth between
them. The ends of their clothes are knotted, each places the right
foot on the left foot of the other and holds the other's ear with the
hand. Meanwhile a Brahman has climbed on to the roof of the house,
and after saying the names of the bride and bridegroom shouts loudly,
'_Ram nawara, Sita nawari, Saodhan_,' or 'Ram, the Bridegroom, and
Sita, the Bride, pay heed,' The people inside the house repeat these
words and someone beats on a brass plate; the wedding-rice is poured
over the heads of the couple, and a quid of betel is placed first in
the mouth of one and then of the other. The bridegroom's party dance
in the marriage-shed and their feet are washed. Two plough-yokes are
brought in and a cloth spread over them, and the couple are seated on
them face to face. A string of twisted grass is drawn round their necks
and a thread is tied round their marriage-crowns. The bride's dowry is
given and her relatives make presents to her. This property is known
as _khamora_, and is retained by a wife for her own use, her husband
having no control over it. It is customary also in the caste for the
parents to supply clothes to a married daughter as long as they live,
and during this period a wife will not accept any clothes from her
husband. On the following day the maid-servants bring a present of
_gulal_ or red powder to the fathers of the bride and bridegroom,
who sprinkle it over each other. The bridegroom's father makes them
a present of from one to twenty rupees according to his means, and
also gives suitable fees to the barber, the washerman, the Barai or
betel-leaf seller and the Bhat or bard. The maid-servants then bring
vessels of water and throw it over each other in sport. After the
evening meal, the party go back, the bride and bridegroom riding in
the same cart. As they start the women sing:
Let us go to the basket-maker
And buy a costly pair of fans;
Fans worth a lot of money;
Let us praise the mother of the bride.