A girl who becomes pregnant by a man of the caste before marriage is
wedded to him by the rite used for widows. If the man is an outsider
she is expelled from the community. Women are much valued for the
sake of their labour in the fields, and the transgressions of a
wife are viewed with a lenient eye. In Damoh it is said that a man
readily condones his wife's adultery with another Kurmi, and if it
becomes known and she is put out of caste, he will give the penalty
feasts himself for her admission. If she is detected in a _liaison_
with an outsider she is usually discarded, but the offence may be
condoned should the man be a Brahman. And one instance is mentioned
of a malguzar's wife who had gone wrong with a Gond, and was forgiven
and taken back by her husband and the caste. But the leniency was
misplaced as she subsequently eloped with an Ahir. Polygamy is usual
with those who can afford to pay for several wives, as a wife's labour
is more efficient and she is a more profitable investment than a hired
servant. An instance is on record of a blind Kurmi in Jubbulpore, who
had nine wives. A man who is faithful to one wife, and does not visit
her on fast-days, is called a Brahmachari or saint and it is thought
that he will go to heaven. The remarriage of widows is permitted and is
usual. The widow goes to a well on some night in the dark fortnight,
and leaving her old clothes there puts on new ones which are given to
her by the barber's wife. She then fills a pitcher with water and takes
it to her new husband's house. He meets her on the threshold and lifts
it from her head, and she goes into the house and puts bangles on her
wrists. The following saying shows that the second marriage of widows
is looked upon as quite natural and normal by the cultivating castes:
"If the clouds are like partridge feathers it will rain, and if a
widow puts lamp-black on her eyes she will marry again; these things
are certain." [60]
A bachelor marrying a widow must first go through the ceremony with
a ring which he thereafter wears on his finger, and if it is lost he
must perform a funeral ceremony as if a wife had died. If a widower
marries a girl she must wear round her neck an image of his first
wife. A girl who is twice married by going round the sacred post is
called Chandelia and is most unlucky. She is considered as bad or
worse than a widow, and the people sometimes make her live outside
the village and forbid her to show them her face. Divorce is open to
either party, to a wife on account of the impotency or ill-treatment
of her husband, and to a husband for the bad character, ill-health
or quarrelsome disposition of his wife. A deed of divorce is executed
and delivered before the caste committee.