I am amazed, Sir, at the freedom of your reproaches. Pressed and teased,
against convenience and inclination, to give you a private meeting, am I
to be thus challenged and upbraided, and my sex reflected upon, because
I thought it prudent to change my mind?--A liberty I had reserved
to myself, when I made the appointment, as you call it. I wanted not
instances of your impatient spirit to other people: yet may it be happy
for me, that I can have this new one; which shows, that you can as
little spare me, when I pursue the dictates of my own reason, as you do
others, for acting up to theirs. Two motives you must be governed by in
this excess. The one my easiness; the other your own presumption. Since
you think you have found out the first, and have shown so much of the
last upon it, I am too much alarmed, not to wish and desire, that your
letter of this day may conclude all the trouble you had from, or for,
Your humble servant, CL. HARLOWE.
*****
I believe, my dear, I may promise myself your approbation, whenever I
write or speak with spirit, be it to whom it will. Indeed, I find but
too much reason to exert it, since I have to deal with people, who
govern themselves in their conduct to me, not by what is fit or decent,
right or wrong, but by what they think my temper will bear. I have, till
very lately, been praised for mine; but it has always been by those who
never gave me opportunity to return the compliment to them. Some people
have acted, as if they thought forbearance on one side absolutely
necessary for them and me to be upon good terms together; and in this
case have ever taken care rather to owe that obligation than to lay it.
You have hinted to me, that resentment is not natural to my temper, and
that therefore it must soon subside: it may be so with respect to my
relations; but not to Mr. Lovelace, I assure you.