The White Nigger.
One of the most amiable, and at the same time most amusing
traits, in the Clockmaker's character, was the attachment
and kindness with which he regarded his horse. He considered
"Old Clay" as far above a Provincial Horse, as he did
one of his "free and enlightened citizens" superior to
a Blue Nose. He treated him as a travelling companion,
and when conversation flagged between us, would often
soliloquize to him, a habit contracted from pursuing his
journeys alone. Well now, he would say, "Old Clay," I
guess you took your time a goin up that are hill, 'spose
we progress now. Go along you old sculpin, and turn out
your toes. I reckon you are as deff as a shad, do you
hear there, "go ahead Old Clay." There now, he'd say,
Squire aint that dreadful pretty? There's action. That
looks about right--legs all under him--gathers all up
snug--no bobbin of his head--no rollin of his shoulders
--no wabblin of his hind parts, but steady as a pump
bolt, and the motion all underneath. When he fairly lays
himself to it, he trots like all vengeance. Then look at
his ears, jist like rabbits, none o' your flop ears like
them Amherst beasts, half horses, half pigs, but strait
up and pineted, and not too near at the tips; for that
are, I concait, always shews a horse aint true to draw.
There are only two things, Squire, worth lookin at in a
horse, action and soundness, for I never saw a critter
that had good action that was a bad beast. Old Clay puts
me in mind of one of our free and enlightened ---. Excuse
me, said I, Mr. Slick, but really you appropriate that
word "free" to your countrymen, as if you thought no
other people in the world were entitled to it but
yourselves. Neither be they, said he. We first sot the
example. Look at our declaration of independence. It was
writ by Jefferson, and he was the first man of the age,
perhaps the world never seed his ditto. It's a beautiful
piece of penmanship that, he gave the British the butt
eend of his mind there. I calculate you couldn't falt it
in no particular, it's generally allowed to be his cap
shief. In the first page of it, second section, and
first varse, are these words, "We hold this truth to be
self-evident, that all men are created equal." I guess
King George turned his quid when he read that. It was
somethin to chaw on, he hadn't been used to the flavor
of, I reckon. Jefferson forgot to insert--one little
word, said I, he should have said, "all white men;" for,
as it now stands, it is a practical untruth, in a country
which tolerates domestic slavery in its worst and most
forbidding form. It is a declaration of SHAME, and not
of INDEPENDENCE. It is as perfect a misnomer as ever I
knew. Well, said he, I must admit there is a screw loose
somewhere thereabouts, and I wish it would convene to
Congress, to do somethin or another about our niggers,
but I am not quite certified how that is to be sot to
rights--I concait that you don't understand us. But, said
he, (evading the subject with his usual dexterity,) we
deal only in niggers,--and those thick skulled, crooked
shanked, flat footed, long heeled, wooly headed gentlemen,
don't seem fit for much else but slavery, I do suppose.
They aint fit to contrive for themselves. They are jist
like grasshoppers; they dance and sing all summer, and
when winter comes they have nothin provided for it, and
lay down and die. They require some one to see arter
them. Now, we deal in black niggers only, but the Blue
Noses sell their own species--they trade in white slaves.
Thank God, said I, slavery does not exist in any part of
his Majesty's dominions now, we have at last wiped off
that national stain. Not quite, I guess, said he, with
an air of triumph, it tante done with in Nova Scotia,
for I have seed these human cattle sales with my own
eyes--I was availed of the truth of it up here to old
Furlong's, last November. I'll tell you the story, said
he; and as this story of the Clockmaker's contained some
extraordinary statements, which I had never heard of
before, I noted it in my journal, for the purpose of
ascertaining their truth; and, if founded on fact, of
laying them before the proper authorities.
Last fall, said he, I was on my way to Partridge Island,
to ship off some truck and produce I had taken in, in
the way of trade; and as I neared old Furlong's house,
I seed an amazin crowd of folks about the door; I said
to myself, says I, whose dead, and what's to pay now
--what on airth is the meanin of all this? Is it a vandew,
or a weddin, or a rolin frolick, or a religious stir, or
what is it? Thinks I, I'll see, so I hitches Old Clay to
the fence, and walks in. It was some time afore I was
able to swiggle my way thro' the crowd, and get into the
house. And when I did, who should I see but deacon
Westfall, a smooth faced, slick haired, meechin lookin
chap as you'd see in a hundred, a standin on a stool,
with an auctioneer's hammer in his hand; and afore him
was one Jerry Oaks and his wife, and two little orphan
children, the prettiest little toads I ever beheld in
all my born days. Gentlemen, said he, I will begin the
sale by putting up Jerry Oaks, of Apple River, he's a
considerable of a smart man yet, and can do many little
chores besides feedin the children and pigs, I guess he's
near about worth his keep. Will you warrant him sound,
wind and limb? says a tall ragged lookin countryman, for
he looks to me as if he was foundered in both feet, and
had a string halt into the bargain. When you are as old
as I be, says Jerry, mayhap you may be foundered too,
young man. I have seen the day when you wouldn't dare
to pass that joke on me, big as you be. Will any gentleman
bid for him, says the deacon, he's cheap at 7s. 6d. Why
deacon, said Jerry, why surely your honor isn't a goin
for to sell me separate from my poor old wife, are you?
Fifty years have we lived together as man and wife, and
a good wife has she been to me, through all my troubles
and trials, and God knows I have had enough of 'em. No
one knows my ways and my ailments but her, and who can
tend me so kind, or who will bear with the complaints of
a poor old man but his wife. Do, deacon, and Heaven bless
you for it, and yours, do sell us together. We have but
a few days to live now, death will divide us soon enough.
Leave her to close my old eyes, when the struggle comes,
and when it comes to you, deacon, as come it must to us
all, may this good deed rise up for you, as a memorial
before God. I wish it had pleased him to have taken us
afore it came to this, but his will be done; and he hung
his head, as if he felt he had drained the cup of
degradation to its dregs. Can't afford it, Jerry--can't
afford it, old man, said the deacon, (with such a smile
as a November sun gives, a passin atween clouds.) Last
year they took oats for rates, now nothin but wheat will
go down, and that's as good as cash, and you'll hang on
as most of you do yet these many years. There's old Joe
Crowe, I believe in my conscience he will live for ever.
The biddin then went on, and he was sold for six shillings
a week. Well, the poor critter gave one long loud deep
groan, and then folded his arms over his breast, so tight
that he seemed tryin to keep in his heart from bustin.
I pitied the misfortinate wretch from my soul, I don't
know as I ever felt so streaked afore. Not so his wife,
she was all tongue. She begged and prayed, and cryed,
and scolded, and talked at the very tip eend of her voice,
till she became, poor critter, exhausted, and went off
in a faintin fit, and they ketched her up and carried
her out to the air, and she was sold in that condition.
Well I couldn't make head or tail of all this, I could
hardly believe my eyes and ears; so, says I, to John
Porter, (him that has that catamount of a wife, that I
had such a touss with,) John Porter, says I, who ever
seed or heerd tell of the like of this, what under the
sun does it all mean? What has that are critter done that
he should be sold arter that fashion? Done, said he, why
nothin, and that's the reason they sell him. This is
town meetin day, and we always sell the poor for the
year, to the lowest bidder. Them that will keep them for
the lowest sum, gets them. Why, says I, that feller that
bought him is a pauper himself, to my sartan knowledge.
If you were to take him up by the heels and shake him
for a week, you couldn't shake sixpence out of him. How
can he keep him? It appears to me the poor buy the poor
here, and that they all starve together. Says I, there
was a very good man once lived to Liverpool, so good, he
said he hadn't sinned for seven years; well he put a mill
dam across the river, and stopt all the fish from goin
up, and the court fined him fifty pounds for it, and this
good man was so wrathy, he thought he should feel better
to swear a little, but conscience told him it was wicked.
So he compounded with conscience, and cheated the devil,
by callin it a "dam fine business." Now, friend Porter,
if this is your poor law, it is a damn poor law, I tell
you, and no good can come of such hard-hearted doins.
It's no wonder your country don't prosper, for who ever
heerd of a blessin on such carryins on as this? Says I,
did you ever hear tell of a sartan rich man, that had a
beggar called Lazarus laid at his gate, and how the dogs
had more compassion than he had, and came and licked his
sores? cause if you have, look at that forehanded and
sponsible man there, deacon Westfall, and you see the
rich man. And then look at that are pauper, dragged away
in that ox-cart from his wife for ever, like a feller to
States' Prison, and you see Lazarus. Recollect what
follered, John Porter, and have neither art nor part in
it, as you are a Christian man. It fairly made me sick
all day. John Porter follered me out of the house, and
as I was a turnin old Clay, said he, Mr. Slick, says he,
I never seed it in that are light afore, for its our
custom, and custom you know will reconcile one to most
any thing. I must say, it does appear, as you lay it out,
an unfeelin way of providin for the poor; but, as touchin
the matter of dividen man and wife, why, (and he peered
all round to see that no one was within hearin,) why I
dont know, but if it was my allotment to be sold, I'd as
lives they'd sell me separate from Jane as not, for it
appears to me its about the best part of it.
Now, what I have told you Squire, said the Clockmaker,
is the truth; and if members, instead of their everlastin
politicks, would only look into these matters a little,
I guess it would be far better for the Country. So, as
for our declaration of independence, I guess you need'nt
twitt me with our slave-sales, for we deal only in blacks;
but Blue Nose approbates no distinction in colours, and
when reduced to poverty, is reduced to slavery, and is
sold--a White Nigger.