a person once a member resided, I called to see how her mind was
affected now. She was much pleased, and said the Lord had sent me, as
she was wishing to see me, having had her desires after eternal life
revived. Some others, to whom I was directed, were equally disposed
to unite themselves with the people of God.--Two days ago cousin
evidently altered for the worse; she has spoken little, but been
remarkably patient, through her protracted affliction. This morning
she expressed her confidence in God; and a few minutes after
eleven her happy spirit returned to God. We sorrow, but not without
hope,--Her remains were conveyed to Sinnington for interment. Past
recollections seemed to drink up my spirit; only one survivor--upon
the spot--of all those whom long association has endeared
to me. We called upon Mr. B.; but ah! how changed! completely
paralyzed,--apparently incapable of much impression, and yet, I fear,
unsaved! I spoke to him, and also his son, on the necessity of making
their peace with God, and then prayed with them; but my mind was
afterward pained because I had done the work so inefficiently.--The
last fortnight I have several times visited a little boy, sinking
in decline. When first I saw him, he appeared quite ignorant of his
sinful condition; but divine light has gradually beamed upon his soul.
The last time, he expressed a confidence I had not observed before.
His mother tells me, she has often heard him engaged in earnest
prayer; and once, perceiving him much worse, she said, 'Bill, thou's
very ill.' 'Yes,' he replied, 'but I shall soon be _better_.' When
near death, he asked, 'Do you see who's come for me?' she said,
'No, who is it?' He answered, 'Jesus;' and clasping his hands, said
repeatedly, 'Lord, help me!' then placing them together, under his
head, gently passed away.--While endeavouring to do my Master's will,
I carry my heaven about with me. My soul enjoys peace, with a deep
sense of my own nothingness. 'Christ is all; other refuge have I
none.'"
All praise to God, whose sleepless eye,
Observed my tender years;
And blessed me with parental love,
Parental prayers and tears.
Through every lane of life I trace
His providential care;
In many a time of need, His grace
And guardian hand were there.
His still small voice of love I heard,
When in the blush of youth;
I paused, and listened to the word
Of everlasting truth.
Resolved I was, and re-resolved,
But many a conflict knew;
Till God, in Christ, my sins absolved,
And unbelief o'erthrew.
What shall I render to the Lord?
What can a sinner do?
I'll rest upon His precious word,
And take His grace anew.
XIX.
THE INWARD MONITOR.
"THE LORD SHALL GUIDE THEE CONTINUALLY."--Isaiah lviii. 11.
Who, that is conscious of the solemn responsibility of life, and of
the perils by which it is beset, but feels the necessity of continual
direction? How many emergencies daily arise, in which there is need of
wisdom superior to our own? Oh for a Mentor, whose constant presence
and unerring counsels might always guide us aright! The aspiration
is not in vain. God himself, offers to be the guide of His people.
He will put His Spirit in them, who shall abide with them always, and
guide them in the way of all truth. But how? Not by some irresistible
impulse, which overpowers the action of human will, or by some new
revelation, which would render unnecessary the ordinary means of
religious instruction; but by the lessons of His holy word, which is
brought to the mind in the moment of requirement; for the Holy Spirit
brings to our _remembrance_ whatsoever is there revealed for our
comfort and instruction. This shows the importance, not only of the
constant and diligent study of the Word of God, but of storing the
memory, while it is yet fresh and vigorous, with Scripture truth: for
it is obvious, _that_ cannot be brought to our remembrance, which was
never known. Further, we must ask for direction, committing all our
ways to Him; and when He graciously indicates the path of duty, at
once obey. He who acts upon these principles will never
'Full direction need.
Or miss his providential way.'
God will guide him continually, and often, in a manner most wonderful,
supply light and counsel, in times of perplexity, or need. Mrs. Lyth
had in early life committed to memory large portions of the Word of
God; the Bible was the book of her choice--her daily study; and her
love for it became more impassioned as life rolled on to its close.
Hence, as she was in the habit of prayerfully seeking direction in
all her movements, its precious truths were constantly brought to
remembrance. Indeed, in some parts of her diary, scarcely a day passes
without the record of some scripture thus applied, most commonly as
her first morning thought, which furnished profitable reflection for
the day.
"1846.--Called to see one I saw on Saturday, but she is no more.
Whither is she gone? Pursued my way to visit another sick friend. When
I approached her bedside, she said she was very ill in body, and
very miserable in mind. After a few words we knelt down. The Lord was
graciously pleased to give the spirit of prayer; and faith realized
the blessing. She cried out, 'I am Thine, glory be to God!' How
good it is when God comes down, and melts our frozen nature!--I have
commenced reading Matthew Henry's Commentary; how far I shall live to
read, I know not; but I have commenced it with prayer, and by God's
help intend so to continue.--Invited the Clothing Committee to tea.
For some days before, I prayed that we might be directed into the love
of God. Being, as I believe, the oldest, I ventured to take the lead,
and we had a little band-meeting. All spoke and prayed. Afterward I
was painfully exercised; but I cast myself, with all my imperfections,
upon God.--In visiting the School I felt prompted to speak a few words
to the children, and made the attempt. The words impressed upon my
mind were 'Even a child is known by his doings.'--Sought out Mrs.
----, to whom I spoke plainly; also called upon another christian
friend, one, who is placed in slippery places in public life;--prayed
with them: and now my work is before Thee, wilt Thou be pleased to
acknowledge my feeble endeavours to help Thy people on?--I have today
been engaged in obtaining Ladies' signatures to memorialize the
Queen for the suppression of houses of ill fame.--A pleasant drive to
Harrogate. Came, resolved to give myself to prayer, and have felt
it good to draw nigh to God.--While sitting at my work about three
o'clock, the thought occurred, 'Look into the little book lying on the
table.' I did so, and on opening it, read, 'Rise and pray.' I was
thus reminded of my engagement with a friend, and was thankful for the
admonition.--I felt reproved for uttering a matter which, though true,
would have been better unsaid. When will my tongue be brought into due
subjection?
"Cleethorpes. Much of the day passed upon the terrace. Had a
conversation with a Church lady, to whom the Lord enabled me to speak
of the things of God; and have since been praying that conviction may
fasten upon her conscience.--Was sent for to visit a lady upon a sick
bed, with whom I had a free conversation. I have now seen her three or
four times, and she seems really in earnest to save her soul. She has
known something of the truth for fifteen years; but is much depressed
by a nervous affection. I have been led to admire the harmonies and
adaptations of nature. Can it be that God should thus provide for man
in his fallen condition, and will He forget to provide for His own?
Never! Infinite Power, is infinite love.--Called to see a person who
is sick, but was disappointed. However, I conversed and prayed with
her mother, and afterward went to read to a poor blind woman who is in
the way to heaven.--Called to see a person with whom I conversed a few
days ago;--heard her groaning in great pain, but did not see her. The
daughter, who is also ill and much harassed with attending upon her
mother, said, they had now no time for religion, as affliction
put every thing else out of their thoughts; yet she admitted its
importance. I gave her a few words of counsel, and when I left, told
her I should pray for them. She looked at me with surprise, and we
parted, probably to meet no more till we meet at the bar of God.
Both of them knew something of religion years ago. Lord, save me from
trifling.--Left Cleethorpes at six. The Grimsby packet was crowded,
and there were many wicked people on board. I was glad when we reached
Hull.--Two of my members lie at the point of death; one, above eighty,
is perhaps already gone. She has not been able to attend her class
for some years, but I have regularly visited her; and often been
encouraged while praying with her. A wicked son has been a great
trouble to her, and, I am informed, often used her ill. To the last
she expressed confidence in God. I have seen her several times since
the commencement of this last affliction, which has only been of a
week's duration. Last night she was just entering the valley, and the
power of recollection was nearly gone. The other, whom I also saw last
night, is aged, and with a happy expression of countenance declared
her trust in God, and hope of heaven. Two others that I saw, both
above eighty, were joyfully waiting their release."
Exiled from my Father's home,
A pilgrim here below;
Looking,--longing, lo! I come
More of Thy love to know.
Let me here, like Mary, sit;
Claim Thee every moment mine;
Willing always to submit,
And lose my will in Thine.
"I retain the earnest desire after full dedication to God, Spared to
see the last moments of another year; I am resolved that God shall
have my heart. Worthless enough! But the atonement! Here is my hope
and consolation. Yes, my all centres here."
"1847.--A friend came to request me to write to a sister, who is in
trouble through bereavement. Never did I so clearly apprehend
the responsibility of acting for the Lord. May the attempt be
blessed.--Visited the School, and was glad to find that some of the
children remembered what I said to them a year ago. This shows
the importance of storing the youthful mind with what is worth
remembering. I requested them to commit to memory the 23rd Psalm. Six
or eight have done so, and repeated it correctly. Addressed and prayed
with them. This finishes my month of visitation.--I have to record
the merciful interposition of Providence, beyond my expectation, in a
matter which has occasioned me much pain. On this account I wish to be
thankful. Surely the Lord has heard my prayer. Let this induce me
to exercise a firmer reliance upon His promise, being 'careful
for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving, making my requests known unto God.'--In visiting some of
the Lord's people, I think I was directed aright."
I would, in every footstep, move
To meet the Saviour whom I love.
"Called upon Mrs. W., in dying circumstances. I have seen her
twice, and feel encouraged. The world becomes more empty. Christ is
all.--Believing it to be my duty, I visited the surviving sons of
Mrs. W., to urge them to follow their deceased parent. They seemed to
welcome my visit, and invited me to call again.
"Sinnington.--Visited several of the villagers, with an anxious desire
that I might be useful to them. Visited my departed friends in the
churchyard; I hope to join them soon. On one of the gravestones I read
'The grave has eloquence, its lectures teach
In language louder, than divines can preach.'"
"I was again solicited to take the presidency of the sewing
meeting;--a position, which to me appears increasingly important. Want
of punctuality, and other evils, are creeping in. Lord, I am Thine,
I would do that which is right in Thy sight, teach me; and, by the
control of Thy providence, let this organization be placed on the best
footing, that it may contribute to Thy glory.--Mrs. Wilson from Fiji,
came to spend the day with us before she returned home. How sweet is
the cement of prayer! How it knits us to one another! My heart filled
when I saw her. I could have wept. She brings pleasing tidings from
my son.--After much deliberation we determined to go to Harrogate. I
believe it is the right time. While on my knees before the Lord, it
was suggested, 'He shall bless thy going out and thy coming in from
this time forth, and for evermore.' I felt it was from the Lord, and
believed it. We had an agreeable journey, and on our arrival a person
accosted us, and asked if we required lodgings. We went with her to
look at them, and found them congenial to our wishes. The parties
are members of our society: another proof of our heavenly Father's
care.--This evening I had the opportunity of speaking to one of the
cavalry gentlemen. He thanked me, and said he would think about it.--A
day of severe exercise. I was constrained to go to the throne
of grace, where I found help, and was enabled to rise above what
otherwise would have grieved me much. The grand secret, I believe,
was the giving up my own will. May I ever have power to do it.--In my
sleep, the words were continually running in my mind, 'Beloved, think
it not strange concerning the fiery trial, which is to try you,
as though some strange thing happened unto you.' Only enable me to
endure; let Thy righteous will be done."
Glorious Lord, appear, appear
To Thy feeble follower here;
By Thy grace my heart prepare,
All Thy righteous will to bear.
"The words, 'I will be with him in trouble,' have greatly comforted
me. Faith makes them mine; glory be to God!--At the sewing meeting
I read the first section of Bramwell's Memoir. During tea I took the
opportunity of speaking of the propriety of improving our time while
together, admonished as we were by the sudden removal of so many
around us; also of the necessity of punctuality in our attendance,
that we might not offer a blemished sacrifice. The sequel will show
with what effect.--As far as opportunity and strength permitted, I
have occupied these two days in visiting my members, and my afflicted
friend, Miss Bentley. She knew me, and desired me to pray; but soon
fell into a slumber. This was the last time she spoke to me.--Saw her
again; about half-past four she died--to live for ever.--It is now
the last hour of 1847. I enjoy peace of mind and hunger after
righteousness. I long to fill up my time according to the will of God,
and if I live, to be more useful than I have ever been."
Oh! let Thy still small voice
Say to my inmost soul,
'I am thy God; believe, rejoice,
I make the contrite sinner whole.'
So be it. I am only Thine,
And feel, through Christ, that Thou art mine.
"1848.--A whole week I have been a prisoner, in consequence of a
swollen foot; but I am sure it is permitted in love. I see it to be my
privilege patiently to submit, and think I feel willing to do so; but
there are many intricacies in the human heart, and I see no further
than divine light permits."
Advancing time is slow;
But ah! how swiftly gone!
To mark its flight, and show
How 'vantage may be won,
Is wisdom only few attain,
But wisdom yielding greatest gain.
"Called to see the Rev. Thomas Walker, and found it good while praying
with him. He requested me, whenever I bowed the knee, to remember him.
He is daily brought to my recollection.--Memorable day! My Richard's
birthday. How little do we anticipate the events of life! now among
cannibals, preaching the everlasting Gospel. Glorious work! Thus highly
honoured of the Lord, may he prove faithful. Than this, I can have
no greater joy.--Called a third time to see Miss W., who seems to be
seeking the Lord in real earnest. I found her reading the Bible,
and weeping. Saw her again. She told me how happy she had been all
Thursday night; and said she felt as if I had cured both body and
soul. Since then she has been very ill, but is still following on to
know the Lord. Her Bible seems her greatest treasure. Afterward I had
a happy interview with Mrs. Isaac;--declining in body but alive to
God. She prayed sweetly.--Helmsley Missionary Meeting. We were hurried
from the dinner table to the chapel, which precluded the preparation I
like. Friends are so kind in making ample provision for the body, that
our souls are in danger of suffering loss in consequence.--Called to
see Miss W. Death was painted in her countenance; but she roused up,
while I pointed her to the Saviour, and urged her to accept His mercy
_now_. After prayer she said, with tears, 'I do believe in Jesus.'
I read a psalm, to which she listened with deep attention, and then
prayed again. When I rose to depart she said, 'You'll come again;'
which I purposed to do, but she died the following morning. While at
the committee for the distribution of clothing, the Lord blessed me
with such a calm serenity of mind, that it was observed by one of my
friends. Was it in answer to prayer? It is true, before I left home,
my prayer was for a meek and quiet spirit; also the preceding evening,
my friend B. and I had unitedly agreed to pray that we might
more evidently, in our different spheres, approve ourselves God's
witnesses. Since then I have been endeavouring, but not always with
equal success.--Still confined to the house. Rose between six and
seven, and found the advantage of prayer. I feel my unprofitableness,
but was never more resolved to cleave to my best Friend than now.
During the week I have been much drawn out in prayer for the dear
people committed to my care. But ah! I have not prayed half enough;
for this I feel humbled. O Lord, impress their spiritual welfare more
deeply upon my heart."
"1849.--Here, I dedicate anew
My ransom'd powers to Thee;
A worthless offering, it is true;
Yet deign to look on me.
"The Rev. A. Bell called to say he wished Mrs. D. to take my Thursday
class, as he wanted female leaders on that side the bridge. Is it my
unfaithfulness that will cause these dear people to be taken from
me? My dear husband says it is providential, on account of my health.
Well, I wait the issue.--Not long ago, a man, who was crushed on the
railway, cried out, as his companions were carrying him away upon a
hurdle, 'Stop!' when asked if they hurt him, he replied, 'No;' and
pulling his hymn-book out of his bosom, added, 'I want to sing'--
'Happy if with my latest breath,
I may but gasp His name;
Preach Him to all, and cry in death,
Behold, behold the Lamb.'"
"He was conveyed to a neighbouring inn, and medical aid immediately
obtained. The doctor felt his pulse, and shook his head, on which the
sufferer inquired how long he should live. 'Perhaps till twelve,' was
the answer. He then repeated the verse commencing
'No room for mirth or trifling here,' &c.
adding, 'I shall be in heaven before twelve.' Near that time, he
lifted up his hands, and shouting victory, victory, expired.--The
practice, which I have for some time adopted, of retiring immediately
after breakfast to pray for myself, and those who are associated with
me in church fellowship, I find truly profitable.--We set off early in
the morning for Gloucester, to visit our son and daughter; and had a
pleasant and peaceful journey, far beyond my expectation. A lady,
who sat beside me, gave me an account of her conversion to God. The
conversation was originated by some tracts, which she carried for
distribution. About seven we arrived, and found our children looking
out for us. Thus past the last day of my sixty-sixth year--an epitome
of my life--continual change.--Returned to York. Mrs. J. accompanied
me in search of Rosamond J. We found her in very poor circumstances,
with four children, and her husband gone off to seek work. She
instantly recognised me, and burst into tears. We prayed with her.
After tea I met Mrs. J.'s class. The Lord was with us; several were in
tears, conscious of their distance from God. The Lord assisted me
in speaking to them, and blessed my own soul.--Death is common. The
cholera prevails. May this awful visitation be sanctified to us! I was
sent for to see Mrs. P.; she expressed her confidence in God, and
this morning died of cholera.--I felt impressed to visit the adjoining
neighbours, and having bowed before the Lord, to ask his blessing and
help, I went; and, as the Lord enabled me, conversed and prayed with
two families. In one of them, the wife, who is much afflicted,
pressed me to go again, and her husband seconded the request.--Several
circumstances which have occurred in our Society, painful in
themselves, have turned out to my benefit, destroying my dependance
on man, and pointing me to the Rock which is higher than I. In an
unexpected trial I was divinely supported. I went to see ----, and
there I met with his friend, to whom I spoke plainly; my heart
was pained.--Instead of going to the house of God, I was painfully
exercised at home."
Opprest, I lift my heart to Thee,
Thou soother of my care;
Oh! let Thy ear attentive be,
To this my heartfelt prayer.
Thou seest my heart's desire, to live
Obedient to Thy will;
Help me, to Thee, my all to give,
With love my bosom fill.
"Whate'er in me is wrong remove,
Whate'er is dark illume;
Search, try, and purge me, but in love,
Lest Thou Thy dust consume.
To Thee is all my sorrow known,
No secret would I hide;
The enemy his tares hath sown,
Oh! let him not divide.
Thou only canst my burden move,
The woful breach repair;
Oh! send us succour from above,
And hear my instant prayer.
"I am resolved, through grace, to seek a closer walk with God, and
sweeter communion by the Holy Ghost. I want constancy, and more faith.
I am convinced of my cowardice in not confessing the sanctifying grace
of God which I enjoy; and thus insensibly lose sight of it. I desire
continually to be led by the Spirit. I went to converse with a
neighbour about having family-prayer. The mother is an old
Methodist. Saw another person, who is a widow, and in trouble; both
heart-touching visits.--In visiting, I met with the son of one of my
members, whom I requested to read six verses of scripture every
day; got the whole family together, and prayed with them. There was
considerable feeling among them.--I am now entered upon the last hour
of this eventful year, in which thousands have been swept away by
cholera, and many by sudden death; but it has not come nigh me. I
began it with the fixed purpose of living to God; but Thou, Lord,
knowest how often and wherein I have failed. I feel I can plead
nothing but the blood of atonement, to which I come; I want stronger
faith, and more love. The unhappy divisions in our Connexion have
rather done me good; for I feel a hungering after Bible Christianity,
and more of that love which 'never faileth,' and which 'thinketh no
evil.'"
XX.
THE STORM.
"THE LORD HATH HIS WAY IN THE WHIRLWIND AND THE STORM,
AND THE CLOUDS ARE THE DUST OF HIS FEET." Nahum i. 3.