a proof of a wise and overruling Providence than the gentler phenomena
of nature, which, with such constant and unvarying regularity, refresh
and bless the earth. It cleanses the atmosphere, and sweeps away the
poisonous miasmata, which have been engendered during a period of
quiescence, and which must, if not removed, prove prejudicial to human
life. A similar effect is exerted by those painful dissensions which
too often arise in religious communities. God permits them for the
purification of His church. What is useless or injurious is swept
away; what is good is confirmed; and if unhappily many, that are weak,
are injured, it is because they do not seek shelter in Him, who is a
hiding-place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest. During
the fierce agitation, which swept as a whirlwind over the Methodist
societies in 1849 and 1850, Mrs. Lyth never lost sight of the great
purpose of life. She stood faithful and unmoved at her post; and
meddled no further with matters of strife than positive duty required.
The questions which many loved to discuss, and thought themselves
quite competent to settle, were never willingly the topic of her
conversation. They were the subjects of her prayers. She retired to
her closet; she wept in secret over the breaches of Zion; she sought
her refuge from the surrounding excitement in the secret place of the
Most High, and hence that, which in itself was a serious evil, became
to her a source of personal benefit. Happy would it have been for
many, who needlessly exposed themselves to the fury of the storm, if
they had been like minded.
"1850.--Several perplexing circumstances have conspired to disturb the
quiet of my mind, however, they could only ruffle the surface. Through
Christ, I enjoy settled peace.--In the course of discussion in the
Leaders' Meeting I was given to see the amiableness of the meekness of
wisdom, which was exhibited by one of our leaders. I came home praying
for more of it, feeling greater love for the Lord's people, and
thankful that I am united with them. O what a privilege!--Twenty-seven
years since my dear father entered into rest; and I am yet alive, to
see and hear of more discord among the professed followers of Jesus
than ever I saw. Nevertheless, the 'Word of God is sure, the Lord
knoweth them that are His.' I praise God my heart is fixed, let others
do as they may; yet it is painful to me to see them leaving the people
of God. 'I know in whom I have believed,' and in Jesus I have peace.
"Copy of a letter written to a member, late of my class:--
"MY DEAR MRS. ----, My heart yearns over you; and, having been your
Leader, I feel a responsibility resting upon me, of which I cannot
acquit myself, without warning you of the danger, to which you are
exposing your own soul, by giving place to a spirit not of love.
"You have been offended; go to the offender, that the breach may be
healed; do not make the rent wider. Read carefully and with prayer,
our Saviour's directions in Matt. 18th; and submit yourself at the
feet of Jesus, who has said, 'Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in
heart.'
"O my dear friend, an enemy has gained an advantage
over you; and on cool reflection you will have cause to mourn.
Suffer not this evil to rankle in your breast; but go directly to
Jesus for power to forgive, that you may be forgiven.
"My love for your eternal welfare, prompts me thus to
write to you, and I remain,
"Your sincere friend, &c."
"My husband is gone to New Street Chapel, the Trustees having been
summoned on the 'Delegate' affair. The Lord reigneth.--The past has
been a week of painful disunion and insubordination in oar Society.
Alas! Yet, through mercy, my peace of mind continues. My resolve to
live for Him, who gave himself for me, is more firmly fixed than ever.
While sitting under the word, my mind was impressed to go and speak
with M.R.; I scarcely indulged the thought, but when I returned home,
it still pursued me. I took it to the Lord, and asked for wisdom,
courage, and a plain path; and then set forth. My path was made plain,
courage was given, and the spirit of meekness and love rested upon
me. The word of admonition was kindly received; may it be as a nail
fastened by the Master of assemblies.--The adjourned Missionary
Meeting was held in the Centenary Chapel, and concluded the annual
services. The collection was nearly £10 in excess of last year.
Messrs. E. and G. were present. Three cheers, accompanied by the
waving of hats, &c., were given by certain persons for the 'expelled.'
The like I never saw before, nor ever wish to see again.--My son
preached in New Street. In his first prayer he was much drawn out. The
divine power reached my heart. I felt it truly precious, glory be to
God, who in mercy has called my children to spread the savour of his
grace. O that the prayer I have often presented for this son, may be
answered, that he may be blessed to thousands who may sit under his
ministry.--Collected for the Missions. Several refused to give; but a
widow increased her subscription from two to ten shillings.
"Harrogate.--A pleasant walk alone; my meditations were sweet.
Endeavoured to induce a few to go to the Prayer-meeting, but only
prevailed upon four. Called on Mrs. B. Our conversation turned upon
the present unhappy divisions. How much are we in danger of getting
wrong! O Lord, let me be guided by Thy Spirit, and if I err put
me right. In family prayer I was drawn out for each by name. After
retiring to rest my little grandson David got up, and came to my
bedside to ask me to pray for him. May the Lord make him a man after
his own heart; and, if he live, a preacher of righteousness. I dreamt
I was taking a long journey, and felt the rolling of rough waters
under me, but was fearless. When I awoke, this stanza was on my lips,
'Where all is assurance and peace,
And sorrow and sin are no more.'"
"My soul is happy.--On leaving for home, I was inwardly moved to
pray with the family with which we had lodged. The Spirit of the Lord
assisted me.--During the week I have been led out in prayer for my son
John, and for the Conference. If the enemy rages, the men of God have
access by faith to omnipotent Power, and unerring Wisdom. May each be
clothed with humility, and claim the grace they need, that they may be
wisely directed.
"Sinnington. When we reached Pickering, we had a very awful storm,
accompanied with thunder and lightning. My soul was kept in peace.
Some women, who were detained as well as ourselves, seemed much
afraid. I was prompted to speak to them on the necessity of preparing
to meet God.--Cousin Samuel took me to Whitby. We climbed one hundred
and ninety steps to the church, and found many gravestones of little
note; but one attracted my attention, as it bore my own and my
husband's names. How soon it will be said over us, 'Dust to dust,' I
know not; may we be found ready.--Called upon a sick neighbour, but as
it was not convenient to see her, I retired into the drawing-room with
a friend who was present, to pour out our souls on her behalf.--I
have got a new servant, who makes no profession of religion, and feel
desirous for her salvation. Yesterday morning on awaking, the words
were impressed upon my mind, 'Let him know, that he which converteth
a sinner from the error of his ways, shall save a soul from death, and
hide a multitude of sins.' From this I derive encouragement.--Amid
the conflicting elements afloat, our business is to make Christ our
pattern and our guide. I am trying to take up my daily cross, and
to watch the motions of my mind; but ah! how fitful. I am
nothing;--helpless and undone without Christ, my only hope is in his
atonement. Precious refuge! Come Lord, come now; I thirst, I long for
Thy coming. Now baptize, and overpower me with Thy love. If there is
lurking in my soul, any secret and undiscovered evil, tear it away.
'Show me Thy glory!'"
"185l.--My soul is drawn heavenward. The sewing meeting is much laid
upon my mind, that it may improve in spirituality, and that I may fill
the post assigned me according to the will of God. I long to spread
the savour of Christ among the dear people, and make religion appear
more lovely.--Finished my visitation at the 'School of Industry;' the
children repeated the 104th and 119th Psalms, also the 12th of Romans,
and the 22nd of Revelation. I spoke a few words, and prayed with them;
giving them a few small books, and one for the library.--A friend
brought me her album, requesting me to write in it. I thought
prayerfully on the subject, and begged direction of the Lord, not
knowing who might look upon it. During my sleeping hours and the
following morning, the subject of the last Sabbath's Sermon (Psalm 1.)
was impressed upon my mind with such force and sweetness, and I felt
it to be so suitable to my friend, that I determined to insert it. My
heart's desire is, that it may be blessed to all who read it.--As I
passed the Centenary Chapel this evening, a gentleman thus accosted
me: 'You don't know me.' I answered, 'No sir.' He rejoined, 'I sat in
your pew about nine years ago. Mr. Curnock preached about Noah's Ark;
and a word you spoke to me afterward, forcibly impressed my mind. You
said, 'Get into the Ark,' and now I have got into the Ark.' I had no
remembrance of the circumstance, but am thankful he has got in. To
God be all the glory!--Sitting by the fire this evening, I fainted. So
graciously does my heavenly Father deal with me, that he blesses and
chastens me in _love_; for this, my heart's desire is to praise Him: I
thirst for a deeper baptism, and more intimate communion with Him."
MY SIXTY-NINTH BIRTHDAY.
Now the evening shadows lengthen,
Nature's feebleness appears;
Every grace within me strengthen,
To sustain increasing years.
Perfect in me all Thy pleasure,
While I sojourn here below;
Every fruit, in richer measure,
Through my dying Lord bestow.
"By the evening train a family party, consisting of thirteen of us,
safely arrived in Searbro'. Five went to the band-meeting, which was
very thinly attended. One of the five spoke, having been upwards of
fifty years a member. I went to Mr. F.'s class, and though I could
not hear what the members said, I heard the leader, who made some very
appropriate remarks. When addressing me, he related an anecdote of
Rowland Hill, who, going to preach at a village, was requested to
visit a good, but poor half-witted man. He went accordingly, and
accosted poor Richard with the question, 'Do you intend to go to
heaven?' 'Yes,' he replied, 'don't you?' 'But heaven is a long way
off,' said Mr. Hill. 'I don't think so,' was the reply. 'Then what do
you think?' 'I think,' said the man, 'it is only three steps.' 'Well,
Richard, what are they?' 'The first step is out of self; the second
into Christ; and the third into Glory.' So Mr. Hill went back, and
told his friends that he had been to preach to Richard, but Richard
had preached to him.--I ventured to speak to a friend, who sat beside
me in the Chapel, about coming to class. To my surprise, she said she
had for some time thought of speaking to me on the subject. Surely
this was the suggestion of the Spirit. The Crystal Palace has great
attractions just now! I hope to see the palace of angels and of
God.--Quarterly fast. It was good to be at the prayer-meeting in the
morning; better at noon; best of all at night.--After a very restless
night, my husband rose very poorly and feeble. I prayed with him
before he got up, and now I feel it good to pray _for_ him. About noon
he had another attack of paralysis, which lasted about two hours,
and at tea time he was seized again. Through mercy, he is better. By
looking to the Rock that is higher than I, my mind has been sustained.
While kneeling by the bedside of my afflicted husband, I have been
blessed, and found that as my day so has been my strength.--My
husband and daughter are both better; thanks be to God! I cannot but
acknowledge that He afflicts in love.--'Because I live ye shall live
also,' was a portion in one of my dreams this week. I think of it
with pleasure, and believe it will be so; my heart aspires after this
inheritance, but not with so much fervour as it ought.--I purpose, God
willing, to commence another afternoon class next Tuesday, at three
o'clock, for the benefit of some who may find it more convenient: I
trust it is with the approval of God, whose blessing I implore.--The
dying year has been marked by many blessings to me and mine;--much
nearness to my heavenly Father; but it has also seen many wanderings.
I have just now been endeavouring to surrender myself freely and fully
unto the Lord, whose I am, and whom I desire faithfully to serve. I
seem surrounded by His presence. It is now eleven o'clock; but how
many will depart before twelve! Happy event to those who are prepared,
having built upon Christ! Here rests my hope: 'Other refuge have I
none.' Glory be to God on high!"
"1852.--Although I have been suffering from cold, the Lord deals very
gently with me. Others of my dear family are now under the rod. These
things are painful; but looking at them in the light of eternity, I
find love is mingled with them all. Oh! that from these dispensations
we may derive all the good our heavenly Father designs. We cannot
believe He willingly afflicts the children of men, especially His own
children, but for our own profit, that we may be made 'partakers of
His holiness.' I am reading 'Angel James on Christian Charity.' with
profit.--I am again disappointed of meeting the Lord's people. Though
I am better than I have been, it is not deemed prudent for me to go
out. This is taking up my cross, but whether in the right way, Thou
knowest. I want in every thing to do right.--When I rose I found it
was only five o'clock, but resolved to give myself to prayer. After
breakfast I went to see my daughter Mary, whose husband is very
ill. My soul was blessed in prayer with him. He requested me to pray
earnestly. Lord, help me to pray in faith. While endeavouring to do
so I am blest in my own soul.--This is a day of trouble and rebuke.
My daughter Eliza is very ill; Mr. Jackson is also worse;--the medical
man giving little or no hope respecting him. In such cases, how vain
is the help of man! The feelings of my mind are indescribable. O Lord,
undertake Thou for us. I feel Thee near to me, be near to my dear
family; and, while thus Thou art chastening us, O sanctify the
rod.--Mr. Jackson has had a very restless night, and is much weaker,
but quite recollected. While I prayed, he responded. I left him a
little after eleven; and after calling upon Eliza, went to the School
of Industry. Between one and two a messenger came for me to go to Mr.
Jackson's immediately; but before I could arrive, the lamp of life
was extinguished. He had 'found the rest we toil to find.'--A week of
painful exercise is past away; but I see not the end. Through mercy I
can look to God, and find refuge there. Yesterday when I awoke, it was
sweetly suggested, 'Because I live ye shall live also.' This raised
my drooping spirit; and now I take my pen to acknowledge the
loving-kindness of God, manifested to us as a family; even under the
most painful events, mercy is mixed in the cup.--The last week--before
I reach my seventieth year. Life has passed away as a dream! The
pleasing and the painful are both gone! But from the earliest dawn of
recollection, the Spirit of God has moved upon my mind. Much love, and
much patience, have been shown to me by my heavenly Father; and now,
while the sun shines without, I feel the cheering beams of the Sun of
righteousness upon my soul."
Time hastens me on;
It soon will be gone,
And the term of my stay
Grows shorter and shorter, as life wears away.
One thing I desire,
To this I aspire,
To live in His will,
Whose mercy has spared me, and blesses me still.
No merit I boast;
In Him is my trust.
Who gives me a place,
And a lot, with His own, through His infinite grace.
"To-day I attained the term of life allotted to man. Rose a little
before six, and resolved to dedicate myself afresh to God. Wrote a few
lines, read a little, and performed my customary duties. Worked till
dinner, after which I visited three poor widows,--relieved, and prayed
with them; then collected subscriptions to assist G.B. Called on Mrs.
W., who kindly welcomed me; also Mrs. Isaac, with whom I found it good
to engage in prayer. Went to the prayer-meeting, where I endeavoured
to give myself unreservedly to God. Remained to the band-meeting, in
which the power of God was manifestly revealed. Throughout the day
I have enjoyed a calm repose, and a fixed resolve to consecrate my
services, so long as I am spared, to the Lord.
"Harrogate.--Returning from Chapel, I observed a number of gentlemen
sitting under a tree reading newspapers. On the spur of the moment, I
stepped up to them, and said, 'Gentlemen, perhaps you had better lay
aside the papers, and read your bibles to-day.' One answered very
roughly, 'You go home and say your prayers.' I turned away, and he
continued talking as long as I was within hearing. When I got home
my soul was drawn out in prayer that God would have mercy upon
them.--Through a continued rain I went to meet the Lord's people; but
singular to relate, though I waited ten minutes, no one came. Just as
I was about to return, a stranger came in--desirous of fleeing from
the wrath to come. We spent the hour in prayer. My friend found
encouragement, but not the power of faith. It was a time to be
remembered. My heart yearned over her while, in a low tone--mingled
with tears--she poured out her soul before the Lord."
OLD AGE.
Does no bright star arise to cheer
The Pilgrim's downward way?
When age and feebleness appear,
And wrapt in cloud, the night draws near,
Can nought enfeebled nature cheer,
And save it from dismay?
Jesus, Thy promis'd aid is sure
To all who trust in Thee;
Thy strength in weakness shall assure
Frail trembling nature, and secure
The grace in patience to endure,
Till death shall set me free.
"During the last fortnight, two persons--whom I have often visited
in former afflictions--have passed away. Now--their knowledge far
surpasses mine. I am not at the Lord's house, as my husband desired
me to remain at home with him. Yet 'I have loved the habitation of Thy
house.' Age brings infirmity; but I see a danger of yielding too much
to increasing weakness. Lord, save me from spiritual sloth. While I
write, let inward religion be communicated."
XXI.
THE WIDOW.
"SHE THAT IS A WIDOW INDEED TRUSTETH IN GOD; AND CONTINUETH
IN SUPPLICATIONS, AND PRAYERS, NIGHT AND DAY."--1 Tim. v. 5.
How often does it happen, that when death first enters a family
circle, and creates a breach; it is the signal of its speedy
dissolution! one falls, then another, and another, until the central
point of attraction is removed; and the individuals who are left, are
by the force of circumstances, each made to feel themselves the centre
of a new circle of interests, which in time will melt away as
former ones have done. The occurrence of such an event is to those
immediately concerned a season of solemn admonition. The question
instinctively arises, who next will fall? and each may put it to his
own heart, "Lord, is it I?" The death of Mr. Jackson was the first
breach in a family, which by God's blessing had for many years enjoyed
a happy, and undisturbed unity. Twelve months had just elapsed,
when Mrs. Lyth was called to mourn the loss of a husband; and _we_
a _father_, whose retiring and unostentatious worth, was best known
within the sacred precincts of home. Their union, at first entered
into in the fear of God, had been maintained through the chequered
scenes of life in uninterrupted peace; years had only more strongly
cemented the bonds, by which they were united, and for nearly half a
century the vow, "Until death us do part" had been annually renewed.
A year or two before death dissolved the contract, it was found
necessary to purchase a new wedding ring; and the aged couple, with an
affecting simplicity, solemnly repeated the marriage ceremony in
token of their unchanged, and unabated attachment: but the hour of
separation was at hand.
"1853.--During the last six weeks, many circumstances have occurred
for the trial of our faith and patience; which, through grace, I
recognize as the appointments of mercy for my benefit. They have led
me to rest more simply on Christ by faith, which 'is the evidence of
things not seen, and the substance of things hoped for.' My soul pants
after God. He is my centre, my joy, my crown. Nevertheless, my own
unprofitableness would discourage me; therefore, stripped of all, I
hang upon Jesus, my Saviour and my all.--Our highly esteemed friend
Mr. Whitehead has passed from earth to heaven. Twelve days ago he
called upon us, and conversed and prayed sweetly with my husband.
Little did I think it would be his farewell visit.--My husband and
myself are both invalids. He has had several attacks upon his
chest, and much difficulty of breathing. At these times however, his
expressions of confidence in God are unwavering. For myself, I want
no other refuge, I only want more faith. I would be all the Gospel
requires;--willing to live, ready to die, but oh! I see much
imperfection.--These words are often running in my mind,--
'Until he doth the cloud remove
He only chastens whom he loves.'"
"My dear husband is increasingly ill. He told the Rev. Gervase Smith,
who called in to see him, that fifty years ago, these words were
blessed to him, 'By grace are ye saved through faith; and that not
of yourselves, it is the gift of God.' Mr. Bourne visited us in our
affliction. My soul truly rejoiced in the Lord, while His servant
spake of the things of God, and prayed with us. I am much comforted by
my husband's state of mind. Although this is a painful ordeal, through
which I am passing, God is with me, and His grace supports me.--My
husband is no better. When Mr. Eastwood inquired the state of his
mind, he answered,
'For ever here my rest shall be.
Close to Thy bleeding side;
This all my hope, and all my plea,
For me the Saviour died.'"
"He cast upon me an expressive look--I thought he wanted something,
and inquired. He replied, 'Bless you, bless you.'--Suffered much from
oppression on the chest. His medical adviser promised to send him
something, which would give him relief. He seemed very desirous of
its arrival. In the meantime, we bowed our knees to present our case
before God, and to ask His blessing upon the expected remedy; when in
a few minutes the oppression, in a great measure, ceased. This was the
Lord's doing, and to Him we heartily ascribe the praise.--The medicine
continued the relief.--The Lord wonderfully supports my feeble frame,
and I have increasing power to claim the promises made to His people,
and by faith discover in them a greater fulness than ever. My friend
R. informs me she has seen J.H., who had sent to request me to visit
her. She wished to tell me the Lord had blessed her soul. May she be
made fully meet for glory.--My husband still continues very ill. Had a
distressing night. The enemy assaulted him. My faith seems to have
no wings.--Enabled to rise.--I asked him if Christ was precious? He
replied, 'Yes.' He is apparently near death. Hitherto my mind has been
graciously supported though sometimes painfully exercised. He rallied
again, and slept calmly for awhile. After tea, the difficulty of
breathing returned. The Rev. David Hay came in, and prayed with him;
also Mr. Thompson, a little after. It was evident the hand of death
was upon him. He could scarcely bear us to speak. Once he said
'Mary'--perfectly recollected. Mr. Hill asked him, 'Is Christ
precious?' to which he replied in the affirmative, and shortly after
inquired, 'What o'clock is it?' The answer was given 'About ten;'
and at eleven the 'weary wheels of life stood still,' and my beloved
husband left me to mourn his absence. I sorrow, but not without hope;
and hear a whisper in my heart, 'Thy Maker is thy husband, the Lord
of Hosts is His name.' My mind is comforted; my resolutions are
quickened; but my sense of abasement is great, at the little
improvement I have made of such lengthened privileges. 'Enter not into
judgment with Thy servant, O Lord.'"
[Her feelings under this painful bereavement were deep,--too deep for
expression; but she maintained under it a calm spirit of resignation,
which some might have mistaken for indifference. The writer sees her
yet, as she stood for some minutes, pale and motionless, leaning on
the side of the coffin, just before it was closed; and gazing in the
face of the dead. There was no tear; she did not even imprint a kiss
on the inanimate clay, for it was but the image of him whom she had
loved. Her thoughts were in heaven. At length stroking the face, now
insensible to her touch, she said, "Poor John, I shall soon meet you
again."]
"My dear John was consigned to his bed of dust, to wait until the
resurrection morn. Mr. Bourne came home with us. His conversation
helped to cheer the gloom of parting for a little season. My mind was
consoled with the joyful hope of being guided through the wilderness
by Him, who so condescends to a worm of earth as to say, 'Thy Maker is
thy Husband.' Amazing love! I was again permitted to tread the courts
of the Lord's house. Visited J.H. in the afternoon, and spoke plainly
to her husband.--Met the dear people, but was far from being satisfied
with myself. I want a stronger faith, and more ardent love to the
souls of those who are committed to my care. My precious husband has
now been fourteen days in the eternal world."
And can I wish him back,
Again to suffer here?
No! following on the track,
I haste to meet him there.