pray for her. She readily consented, and embracing her, said, 'I have
been praying for you from retiring until daybreak.') The morning was
propitious; and while Mr. C. read the twelfth of Romans and prayed,
the presence of the Lord was among us.--William started for Sheffield
to seek a new situation, I trust under the care of God, having the
night before commended him, by united prayer, to the kind Providence
of our heavenly Father. For many days I have enjoyed the soul's calm
sunshine; yet, I feel it is of mercy, not of works. Jesus' blood
is all my plea. Praise God, who, through the vicissitudes of this
eventful month, gives me tranquillity of mind. Now, I am anticipating
the return of Richard to London, to secure his diploma; so that
three out of four leave the paternal roof this month. With respect to
Richard, my mind is impressed with far more cheering hopes, than
when he went last year. Then, fallen from his steadfastness, he was
wandering upon the dark mountains; but now, returned to the Lord, he
is sensible of his obligations, and wishes to make some return. Lord
make me grateful for this proof of Thy love, and make my Richard a
burning and shining luminary, wise to win souls.--Went to the Haxby
Missionary Meeting; but to me all was disappointment. Some who
professed much friendship when I left them, looked very cool; some I
wished to see, I saw not; the chapel not full; no missionary-boxes,
although I know of four in the place; the collection not half the
amount of last year; the speeches did not profit me; perhaps I did not
keep the path of duty, for I left my class to be met by another, and
neglected seeing one who expected me. I was grieved with myself; and,
with a burdened mind, bowed my knees and poured out my complaints
before God, who listened to my cry and sent me help, melting me
down before Him, and making me willing to be more obedient in
future.--Visited Mrs. C. again; she said, 'I feel happy. Last
Thursday, after you were here, I pleaded with God, until the words
were applied--
'Believe, and all your sins forgiven,
Only believe, and your's is heaven.'
I thought surely this is for me, and felt I could believe it was;'
and then came the words, 'when thou passest through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will be with thee;' and I believe it.' My heart
rejoiced with her.--Being indisposed, I commenced a letter to my
friends in Acomb, when, just as I completed one side, Mrs. R. and
little Charles came in, and glad I was to see them. She told me, that
a friend of her youth who moves in high life, having been awakened
to a sense of her sinful condition, had sent to her repeatedly for
advice. Feeling interested for her, she requested me to unite with her
in pleading at the throne of grace; to which I acceded, knowing that
it is not a vain thing to call upon God. The appointed times are every
Tuesday, at half-past nine in the morning, and half-past nine in the
evening. This is recorded to aid my memory. Aid us by Thy Spirit, or
our efforts will be vain.--The engagement, though not at the exact
time, was remembered, and I entered a little into the business. Miss
C. came to request me to meet a lady at their house, who is convinced
of her lost condition. With some diffidence, from a sense of my own
unfitness, I accompanied her, and conversed with the lady on the dawn
and progress of a work of grace in the heart; lent her 'Fletcher's
Address,' and after Mrs. C. and I had prayed, we parted. But knowing
the good that is done on the earth, the Lord doeth it, I have made it
matter of earnest prayer, for she is much laid upon my mind. This,
I believe, is pleasing to God, and the rather, as this morning on
opening the word of God, I saw how Ezekiel was humbled before the Lord
for the people of Israel and Judah.--Being in health, I went forth,
praying for direction and the blessing of God. Some kind friends
gave me twenty-two shillings to help a poor member. This I took; she
received it thankfully. Visited Mrs. C., she is able to rest in God.
Called on Mr. S., and left 'Fletcher's Address;' also upon Mrs. D.,
and left a copy of the same. O that the Spirit may do his office!
Why do I speak thus? He waits to enter: may they be willing to
yield.--Went to Pocklington to see Mrs. P. There I met with E.
Brookes, Esq. His private walk bespeaks him a devoted man. I esteemed
it a privilege to lodge under the same roof. My journey has been blest
to both body and soul; having acknowledged God, my way was made plain,
and His presence has comforted me. I returned home in Mr. B.'s gig.
I had not arrived many minutes, before Miss H. came to converse on
spiritual things; I thought it providential that I came at the
time: but who is sufficient for these things? O bless the dear young
disciple! Mrs. D. has received good, indeed her countenance indicated
the change. She told me she purposed commencing family-prayer in the
evening: one mark of genuine conversion.--I had a very profitable
interview with a lady, who came to converse on divine things. How many
opportunities have I missed, which might have thus been employed to
advantage. 'My mouth as in the dust I hide.'
"1835. Able to meet my class: seventeen present. A fresh member turned
in, and appeared sensible of her lost condition. My soul felt that
painful struggling with the powers of darkness, which I have often
experienced when knelt by the side of a seeking sinner. As the people
withdrew, a little girl was waiting for me to go and see her mother,
who is much worse. I found her supported in bed by a neighbour, the
perspiration streaming down her face. She held out her hand to me, and
told me Christ was precious. By-and-bye a whisper was heard,
'I'll praise my Maker while I've breath.'
Her voice failed. While I prayed, angels seemed hovering around. I
said, you do not feel any doubt; she replied, 'No; I rest upon the
promise.' She died the next day.--My mind was deeply impressed with
the thought of eternity, occasioned by the sound of the passing bell.
How leaden falls the deep-toned sound!
The heart is with its weight oppress'd;
A soul has cross'd life's narrow bound,
A soul--for ever lost or blest.
For ever! what a word is this!
Ye careless mortals, be it known;
In everlasting woe or bliss,
This word, for ever! is your own.
Momentous thought! I feel it now;
This long eternity is mine:
My soul shall this duration know,--
A quenchless spark of life divine!
When I retired, I besought the Lord to awake me, and give me health
to go to the six o'clock prayer-meeting. In this, He condescended to
answer me; but my body inclined to rest. For a moment, I listened;
but my prayer and promise occurred to me, and durst I thus offend
the Lord? I rose, conferring no longer with flesh and blood, and was
abundantly repaid. The peace of God overflowed me as a river, and
while I write the effect remains. My soul was much drawn out on behalf
of some of my unconverted relatives. A little after we had risen
from our knees, one of them came in, and I seized the opportunity of
pressing upon him the necessity of a change of heart.--The spirit of
prayer was given to me in an unusual degree, especially on behalf of
my dear son, who believes himself called to the work of the ministry,
and has this day engaged to supply the place of one who has gone to
his reward. How important! May the Lord go with him.--For some time I
have thought of inviting Miss M.B. to class; but, not knowing whether
she had any concern for salvation, I demurred. Still the impression
followed me, and to-day I told her of it. The tears started in her
eyes, and she confessed with great frankness, that she was convinced
she must have the peace of God to be happy; but she had never
mentioned the subject to any but her mother. Surely this impression
was from the Lord, and in answer to prayer: for some time since,
her mother and I agreed to plead for our children every Wednesday
afternoon. My affections, divided to every member of my family, meet
in one point at the throne of grace; where many a time my expectations
are raised, and my soul blessed. To-day my husband takes a class; may
it be made an abundant blessing to his own soul.--The quarter-day:
much excitement, lest a rent should be made among us; my dear
christian friends, A. and B., came to my house to lay the matter
before the Lord, while the meeting was being held. There, indeed, we
did pour out our cause; buffeted, but much encouraged by the promise,
especially as it was given to two of us, 'I, the Lord, do keep it;
lest any hurt it, I will keep it night and day.' We believed the Lord
would interpose, and so it was. We were told the case was wonderfully
overruled. O the condescension of our merciful High Priest!--Mrs. A.
brought me a sick visiting-book, which I did not refuse: for although
I feel my disqualification, yet am willing to do what I can, only let
me have heavenly aid. At twelve at noon, six of us opened a weekly
meeting for intercession: to me it was a blessed season. I have at
times great enlargement, but abasing views of my own depravity, with
expanded perceptions of the love and power of God--great in wisdom,
great in love, great in holiness, and yet He deigns to visit me.
'Faith, lends its realising light, the clouds disperse,' and let a ray
of the Infinite into my soul. Thus, in the midst of many things
that are painful, I am comforted.--Have been out to tea against my
inclination, and yet it was among my friends. Endeavoured to give a
religious tone to the conversation, but some, who ought to have come
forward, were silent; and to others without the least intention I
fear I have given offence. From this cause my mind is troubled; but
on reflection, think, I ought not to yield to such a feeling, being
conscious that my aim was to do right. To Thee, Oh Saviour, will I
look to overrule 'my every weak, though good, design.' While I write
my soul is happy. Glory be to God.--I am now enter the last hour
of 1835, much abased on the review of my own unfaithfulness, yes
earnestly desiring to commence anew, if permitted a little longer to
sojourn on earth.
Oh! take possession of my heart,
And let it hence Thy temple be;
Willing, Thou seest me, now to part
With all, that is unlike to Thee;
O let the Spirit's seal be given
The earnest of my future heaven!
To Thee, O Lord, I would present
My life, and health, and talent, now;
Let nothing mar the pure intent
And purpose of my solemn vow;
But now the covenant blood apply,
My feeble act to ratify.
Come, sway the sceptre in my soul,
Its secret springs adjust and move;
Model each word, each thought control,
And fill me with the light of love;
So shall I do Thy perfect will,
As angels, who Thy word fulfil.
Ten minutes past midnight.--To put me in remembrance,--my two friends
at a quarter before two every day. My one friend at three every
Wednesday."
"1836. Awoke with, 'Reckon yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but
alive unto God;' and 'Be ye not of a doubtful mind.' I feel resolved
henceforth, thus 'to reckon.' I have been too long dying--not dead,
and dishonouring God by 'a doubtful mind.' I now enjoy peace, with a
firm determination to keep His commandments, which are not grievous;
but I feel my weakness such, that I cannot trust myself. O my God,
help me to keep my covenant vows!"
Look high, look low, look far and near,
Changes in every scene appear;
The blossom fades, the day is gone,
And night succeeds the morning sun.
The clear blue firmament is seen.
But gath'ring clouds soon intervene;
The sun, resplendent, hastes away,
To give to other lands the day.
The vig'rous youth to manhood grown,
Becomes a hoary sire anon;
The blooming maid becomes a bride,
A loving consort by her side,
The zenith point of earthly bliss,--
But ah! a changing scene is this:
The fairest prospects earth can boast,
Are poor, and transient at the most;
And closest ties of friendship fail
To stay the bliss, we smile to hail.
"After a fortnight's suffering, my dear little grandson, Edward, left
our dark abode for everlasting day. Separation is painful, but the
prospect of eternal happiness brings sweet consolation. A little
before death he said, 'kneel down.' He was three years and ten months
old--a child of much promise--but is now safely transplanted to
nourish in a healthier clime.--Death strikes again--the infant, and
only surviving child of my Eliza, has escaped to glory. Several other
afflictive occurrences have been permitted, I am confident for my
good: yet I have better health than usual, and the consolations of my
God are not withheld. The Lord can make hard things easy, and
mingle the bitter cup with sweetness. O that I could make better
returns!--Thirty years ago, I gave myself to my husband with mingled
feelings of hope and fear. The words, 'thy Maker is thy husband,' have
been impressed upon my mind."
Endearing title! wilt Thou be
A husband, O my God, to me?
Then, let me never grieve Thy love,
Nor ever disobedient prove;
Watchful Thy pleasure to obey,
Thy precepts study night and day;
Thy will at all times gladly do:
_I will_. Lord help me to be true.
"Had all the preachers to breakfast with a friend or two
beside,--hoping the hour might be spiritually improved. Singing and
prayer were sweet, but I was disappointed in the conversation, which
was turned by two individuals upon a point that profited little; one
thing I learned, to expect profit in the creature is not right,--Tried
to bring about, and by means of another, effected a reconciliation
between two opposing parties.--'Who will this day consecrate his
services to the Lord?' was a question put to me this morning before
I awoke, and has been urged upon me since. Thank God, my heart
responds--_I will_. As I was walking, musing, and praying, it was
whispered to my soul, 'My God shall supply all your need.' It is
enough.--Again privileged to hear the Rev. Robert Newton. I sat in
my Father's banqueting-house with delight, and His banner over me was
love.--Fifty-four years this day, I have proved the sustaining power
of God; and forty-two or nearly so, have enjoyed His redeeming love. O
what a debter am I! Here will I give myself away--'tis all I can do."
This day of consecrated rest,
Proclaim within my longing breast
'I am the Lord thy God;'
Here dwell and reign without control,
Sole monarch of my willing soul,
According to Thy word.
XVI.
THE SACRIFICE.
"I HAVE LENT HIM TO THE LORD; AS LONG AS HE LIVETH, SHALL
HE BE LENT UNTO THE LORD."--1 Sam. i. 28.
"Neither will I offer burnt-offerings to the Lord of that which cost
me nothing," said David, when he purchased the threshing-floor, and
the oxen of Araunah the Jebusite, that he might rear and altar, and
offer sacrifices, and peace-offerings: and yet it was a nobler act
of sacrifice, when he poured out before the Lord the crystal draught
which three of his mighty men had procured from the well that was by
the gate of Bethlehem, at the peril of their lives, and for which he
had so earnestly longed. In the one case he gave what he could well
afford; in the other, he consecrated what his soul desired. The
preciousness of the gift is to be estimated, not by its intrinsic
value, but by the amount of sacrifice which it requires; hence, some
who bring much, offer little, and some who give but little, offer
much. Genuine love to God brings of its choicest and dearest, and the
sacrifice is accepted accordingly. To give money as far as she had
ability, was to Mrs. Lyth no sacrifice. Through life she practised
a rigid economy, that she might have the more to employ for God; and
during the last few years, when she had an ample income at her own
disposal, after her few and extremely moderate wants were met, the
whole was sacredly consecrated to public and private charities.
She saved nothing. Her estimate of the riches of this world may be
collected from the following, communicated by a friend:--"She was much
saved from the love of money. I called upon her one day for advice and
sympathy, when I was in great trouble in consequence of a loss which I
had sustained. She very affectionately encouraged me to bear up under
the trial, and said, the Lord had some better thing in store for
me;--that I must set my affections on things above, and then, to show
that I was not alone, told me that a thousand pounds had been left to
her mother by a deceased relative, which she had fully expected would
revert to her, as it was the intention of the testatrix; but it proved
to be a lapsed legacy. She added, 'The Lord so graciously sustained
me, that the loss never deprived me of a single hour's sleep. He knows
what is good for us, and If it had been His will, I should have had
it.' Mr. Lyth, who was in company with us at the time, said, 'So you
see my wife turns all to gold,' which it is well known she did. Oh! I
wish I was like her." But if she estimated worldly wealth only so far
as it afforded her the pure gratification of doing good, and it was
therefore no sacrifice to her to give of her earthly substance; she
also gave that which cost her something. Her eldest son, Richard,
whom she prized above gold, and all the more, because of the tears and
solicitude which she had expended upon him as a sickly and delicate
infant, was at the Conference of 1836 appointed to a distant and
perilous sphere of missionary labour. This was a demand upon her
feelings, which severely tested her love to Christ and His church; but
the spirit in which she made the sacrifice, is best displayed by her
own private record.
"1836. A letter from brother John Burdsall, who is at the Conference,
informs me, that he had some conversation with Dr. Bunting respecting
my Richard and the Friendly Islands. I feel as a mother, yet assured
that God is alike in every place, my prayer is for resignation.--Oh!
the rapidity of time, conference has commenced and will, I suppose,
appoint my Richard somewhere; only be it the place assigned by
Providence--my will submits, though nature would rebel.--My desires
tend upward, but oh! my wayward heart still clings to the creature--my
children lie near my heart. But, do I wish to withhold my son from
Thee? no; my heart says no;--only let holiness be stamped upon
his heart and character: send him where holiness will be the most
earnestly sought, and will make the most powerful impression. My will
does yield, but nature feels. The solicitude I feel for my children
depresses my spirit: yet am comforted by the promises of God, and
increasingly resolved to roll my every care at the foot of the Cross;
where, like pilgrim, I often find the strings of my burden unloosed,
and by faith beholding my unfailing Friend, am encouraged to believe
the God who cares for _me_, will care for _mine_. In the face of
my fears, O Lord, I trust in Thee. My Richard is appointed to the
Friendly Islands.--The cases of my three sons press upon my spirit;
but Thy aid, O Lord, I seek and ask and _have_.--It is the Sabbath
morn. I am fully bent to give myself and my family to God. But now
it is come to the point, how weak I feel! Well, but I will
resign--Richard is Thine; I will through grace, give him up to Thee.
The time of his departure is at hand; tidings have reached us that he
is expected to sail in the 'Royal George,' on the first of October.
O may He who sitteth above the water floods, and reigneth a King for
ever, take charge of him; and so succeed his errand, that thousands
may add lustre to his crown!--At half-past six Miss B. and Mrs. A. met
me, and Hannah S. who was seeking pardon. After we had pleaded for
a time, the Lord came down in power, and she cried aloud, 'I can
believe, I do believe.' We all shared the baptism. My dear family
all took tea together, perhaps for the last time. Thank God, we are
a united family, though we may separate wide from each other in our
pilgrimage through the world.--While pouring out my soul for my dear
Richard, I felt the hallowing power; I believe the Lord will be with
him and the people also. Things very painful to nature are now my
frequent lot; but through these, the Lord seeks to purge, and knit me
closer to himself. Lord give me grace to bear the sacrificing knife,
and let 'Thy will be done,'--Had a few friends to breakfast to commend
my dear Richard to God: it was a profitable hour, but I should have
liked more prayer.--My soul was much refreshed, especially in class.
What a fulness is treasured up in Jesus: and yet I only sip. In
visiting the sick, and seeking out the wanderers, feel I am right, but
seem to have little time for this work.
"Apperly Bridge. My Richard's wedding-day. While the bridal couple
went to church, I retired to plead a blessing on their union. On their
return, I met them with lines which were on my mind--
'Blest in Christ your union be,
Blest to all eternity.'
And so it will be, while they cleave to Jesus. After breakfast we
proceeded to Leeds, where we dined, and took an affectionate leave
of each other. I then retired with the female part of the company to
commend them to God." [Her parting counsels, which were inscribed in my
brother's album, were as follows:--]
"My dear son,--'Be strong through the grace, which is by Jesus Christ,
and the things, which thou hast heard before many witnesses, commit
to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also. Endure
affliction as a good soldier of Jesus Christ, and the Lord give thee
understanding in all things. God is my witness, how I long for
you, that your love may abound more and more, in all knowledge
and spiritual understanding; that you may try the things that are
excellent; that you may be sincere, and without offence, unto the day
of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are
through Jesus Christ, to the praise and glory of God. And when the
Chief Shepherd shall appear, you shall receive the crown of glory
which fadeth not away.' This is the earnest prayer of your truly
affectionate mother."
"Mr. Burrows came, and talked sweetly to me of my privilege as a
christian in giving all to God, and prayed with us; else, during
this week sorrow and joy have mingled in my breast, but now I feel to
rise.--Mrs. R. having agreed to meet with me to intercede for my
dear Richard and Mary Ann, I went up accompanied by Mrs. W.--the Lord
blessed us together.--I feel encouraged.--A very stormy morning. This
led me to my knees, to pour out my soul for my son and daughter: O
keep them in the hollow of Thy hands! William has not yet returned
from seeing Richard off; I want to hear and know--yet am encouraged
to hope all will be well.--Days of suspense--but the thought, 'all is
well,' encouraged me; this was realised, when William returned in the
afternoon. 'Bless the Lord, O my soul,' and praise His adorable
name. My dear Richard sent me a letter, written when sailing down the
Thames, in which he says, 'The Lord is with us, we will not fear.'
"Sinnington. After the morning prayer-meeting, I called upon several
of the villagers, who kindly welcomed our visit. Prayed with every
family but one, and in each case felt the softening power. Spoke
plainly with Mr. B. respecting the alienation existing between him and
----. O that they would seriously resolve!--A very stormy day, but
braving the blast, I visited two or three friends, to have a last
interview with them; in one case to invite a person to join the people
of God; in another, to urge the necessity of family-prayer; a third
was a young person apparently in dying circumstances, and a fourth
was a quaker friend, whose disinterested friendship endears her to
me.--Visited the Lady Mayoress at the Mansion House, and felt quite
at ease. Had an opportunity of dropping a word in her ear, which she
seemed to receive kindly."
The noontide hour is wont to be
A blessed means of grace to me;
When met, the hallowing power to share,
In the sweet intercourse of prayer.
"Was drawn out in prayer for myself and others until a late hour, and
was much blest. After I had retired and had been asleep, I awoke with
these lines:
'Soft and easy is Thy pillow,
Coarse and hard the Saviour lay;
Since His birthplace was a stable,
And His softest bed was hay.'
My pillow seemed softer than usual, and my soul was happy.--Very
stormy." [Such notes of the weather repeatedly occur at this period,
but nothing more: her thoughts were after Richard, but her feelings
were too intense for expression. To a friend she remarked, that
for six months after her son's departure, she dared not touch, the
subject. 'I cannot write upon it,' she said, 'I am obliged to leave
it.']