is consistent with all these infirmities, then how does it differ from
what is experienced by every believer?” I answer, 1. Many are delivered
from these infirmities, in a far greater measure than she was. I judge
her to have been a real witness of Christian perfection, but only in a
_low degree_. 2. Whom do you know that experiences even what she did,
that never-failing love of God and man, that uninterrupted calmness of
mind, that invariable meekness, gentleness, humility? That continual
hunger and thirst after righteousness after the entire image of God?
Above all, that absolute, unreserved dependence upon Christ, as the
fountain of every good and perfect gift, of all holiness and happiness?
Does every believer experience this? I will be bold to say, not one
in a thousand. I suppose not one upon earth, unless he has received
another gift, widely different from what he received when he was
justified. At least I know no one in the three kingdoms, who comes up
to this experience, (besides a few in their first love,) unless after
justification he has found a second change wrought in a moment. However,
concerning that circumstance we need not dispute, whether it be wrought
gradually or instantaneously. Only let the change be wrought. Only let
our souls be renewed in the whole image of God. Only let all that mind
be in us, which was also in Christ Jesus: let him reign in our hearts
without a rival; at all times and in all places. Let us be all devoted
to him in soul and in body: and let all our thoughts, and words,
and actions, be continually offered up to God, as holy sacrifices
acceptable to God through Christ.
4. A few more circumstances relating to this amiable woman, may not
be unacceptable to the reader. _Elizabeth_, the daughter of _William_
and _Joan Tuck_, was born at _Penzance_, _December 20, 1734_. She was
brought to _Redruth_, when about four years old, and as she grew up,
lived as other harmless people did. _June 30, 1755_, she was married to
one _Andrew Harper_, a shopkeeper of _Redruth_; and three or four years
after, she became weak and sickly. At the same time she grew distrest
in her mind, which she strove to remove by various ways; but all to
no purpose. In the latter end of the year 1763, a fever brought her to
the brink of eternity. She was greatly afraid to die: and hearing there
were some in the town, who had no fear of death, she intreated her
husband, without delay, to send for one of the preachers. Conversing
with him, she saw the way of conquering the fear of death. She soon
recovered her health, and from that time sought the Lord with her whole
heart, till on _Easter-day_ (having joined the society before) as she
was receiving the Lord’s supper, these words were strongly applied to
her soul, _It is God that justifieth: who is he that condemneth?_ She
went home, called her husband, and said, “Now all my sins are forgiven.
I am not afraid to die now: for I love God, and I know he loves me.”
5. From this time she walked closely with God, and was hearty and
zealous in his cause. There was nothing in her power, which she was not
ready to do for the servants or children of God. She was exceedingly
tempted, after she believed God had cleansed her from inbred sin. Of
this she gives a large account in her journal: but she did not cast
away her confidence. When she saw death approaching, she was not moved,
but calmly looked up to God. She exhorted her husband, and all near her,
not to love the world, or the things of the world. A little after she
said, “_Lord, thou knowest all things: thou knowest that I love thee._
Thou knowest, it hath been my only desire, to please thee: Come, Lord
Jesus! Come, and sanctify me throughout, spirit, soul and body! O come
quickly.” In a little time she cried, “He is come! He is come!” And
presently fell asleep.
* * * * *
An EXTRACT from her
JOURNAL.
AUGUST 8, 1765. After breakfast, as I was at prayer, the Lord broke in
upon my soul. O may he hasten the happy time, when I shall be filled
with his fulness, and assist me to believe to full salvation! O that he
would _make me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me_!
Friday 9. Blessed be his name, he has kept me this day, amidst all the
hurry of business. I long to get into the glorious liberty of his dear
children. May the Lord increase my faith, and confirm my hope, for my
dear Redeemer’s sake!
Saturday 10. I was with some who do not hold “sinless perfection,” as
they call it, to be attainable here. Afterwards I found, the talking
about their opinion was not of use to me. It only damped my spirit. May
the Lord of his great goodness lead me _into all truth_!
Sunday 11. We were talking of Christian experience, which is useful
in its place; but I fear, I talked too much. Lord, give me a tender
conscience, “the slightest touch of sin to feel.”
Monday 12. To-day, glory be to his name, I have had power over my
besetting sin. I hope, it will not be long before I have an evidence,
that he has made an end of my inbred sin. May he ever keep me humble,
and fill me with love, _more to be desired than gold, yea, than much
fine gold_. *Afterward I was talking with a Christian friend concerning
this blessing; and we saw, that none can receive it, till they feel
the want of it first, and that then it must be received by simple faith
alone. I said, “Suppose I begin to live now, and believe from this
time?” She said, “That is the right way.” _Lord I do believe: help my
unbelief_, and increase my faith more and more. When I was going to bed,
I found great confidence in the Lord. May he increase it to the perfect
day!
Tuesday 13. Glory be to God, this has been a day of marrow and fat
things to my soul. May he keep me low at his feet, and humble me in
the very dust before his glorious Majesty!
Wednesday 14. I waked with, _Now is the ax laid to the root of the
tree_. May the Lord root up whatever is not of his own planting! Glory
be to his name for what he has done. I have not found any anger rise
in me this day. But I was surprised at private prayer two or three
times, with something striking me between the shoulders as with a dart.
Whatever it is, may the Lord give me power over it, and take it from me
in his own due time.
Thursday 15. I was much distrest for a clearer evidence, and cried to
God, to increase my faith. In reproving a person, I found something
rise as quick as thought. But I looked to the Lord, and it was gone.
Friday 16. Blessed be God, he has shewn me to-day my weakness and
helplessness more than ever. I am amazed to see the greatness of God,
as well as his unbounded love in Christ Jesus, I see, that unless
he save me by free grace, I must perish for ever. This morning I can
believe he has given me the blessing. Glory be to God for ever and ever!
Saturday 17. Blessed be his name, that I desire nothing, but to _know_
Jesus Christ, _and him crucified_; and that I feel, he suffered and
died for _me_. May my heart be ever melted down into the profoundest
humility and self-abasement before his awful Majesty!
Tuesday 20. For two or three days I have been confined to my bed, but
my mind is stayed upon God: and I loath the very appearance of sin; I
would not deceive myself for the world. Lord, give me to try myself by
thy word, weigh myself in the balance of the sanctuary!
Wednesday 21. I told one to-day, “If you die in the state you are in,
you will go to hell.” I spoke it purely for the good of her soul. Yet
the minute I spoke, something shocked me, and I was afraid, it was too
harsh. May the Lord pardon what was amiss in it, and enable me to speak
in a more proper manner for the time to come!
Thursday 22. O what have I felt this day by anger! May the Lord speak
peace anew to my soul, and fill me again with his love, and make an
utter end of sin in me, for Jesus Christ’s sake!
Friday 23. I was greatly tempted with anger this day: but glory be to
God, it did not break out. May the Lord destroy it, root and branch,
for it is the trouble of my soul. May I never be at ease till he roots
up this and every bitter root besides!
Saturday 24. Glory be to God, it is still my desire to be cleansed from
all sin. And is he not able and willing to do it now? May he enable me
to believe, bless me with his love, and keep me ever in it!
Monday 26. Blessed be God, I desire nothing but to be freed from every
thing contrary to his love, and to be wholly dedicated to his service.
This day I strongly cried to God, to be delivered from all sin, and to
have his Spirit witness it to my spirit: and I could plead the promise
for it. And whatever sin he saves me from, may I give him all the glory!
Tuesday 27. Glory be to God, this has been a day of longing desire to
be filled with his full salvation; and I felt more pain for want of
this, than ever I did when under conviction, for want of pardon. I
have felt a very sore heart, to be cleansed from the in-being of sin;
blessed be God for it. I believe, he is able and willing to do this:
I believe, _His will is_ my _sanctification_. O that I may believe
he will do it now! The Lord enable me, to believe it from this time!
And may I watch always, pray without ceasing, and in every thing give
thanks! May my life be one continual looking-up to Jesus the captain of
my salvation!
Wednesday 28. My heart is still sore, because I cannot yet believe,
that the Lord has made an end of in-being sin. But I hope to see the
happy moment, and to have the divine evidence within me. May I be
determined to wrestle for it in mighty prayer, and expect it every
moment!
Friday 30. How shall I praise the Lord, for what he has done for my
soul? O the love of a dear Redeemer to sinful dust and ashes! Praise
the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me praise his holy name.
Sunday, September 1. Lord, enable me to believe. _Help my unbelief!
Cleanse_ me _from all filthiness of flesh and spirit_, that I may
_perfect holiness in the fear of God_.
Monday 2. Glory be to God, tho’ I am tempted; I do not now find any
thing in me, to side with the temptation. If the Lord has cast out my
enemy, may he keep him out for ever!
*Tuesday 3. Glory be to God, that he has increased my faith.
Temptations assault; but they have no place in me. Yet I was jealous
over myself, lest I spoke too much, with some of our Christian friends.
How careful should we be, particularly among Christians! For then we
are too apt to be most off our guard.
Wednesday 4. I find I am solemnly staid on God: and my one desire is,
to _comprehend the length, and breadth, and depth, and height_ of that
_love which passeth knowledge_. Yet the enemy presses sore at me with
temptations; but I have power from God to stand against them. O how
shall I praise the Lord for his goodness? May silence speak his praise!
Saturday 7. Glory be to God, he does increase my faith. But I have
been much troubled with wandering thoughts. The Lord give me power to
overcome them all, and look every moment to my dear Redeemer!
*Sunday 8. Glory be to God, that we have once more seen thy servant,
Mr. _John Wesley_ in the body. But this morning, being glad to see our
friends, I doubt, I was carried away with over-much joy. May the Lord
keep me on such occasions upon my watch-tower for the time to come!
Monday 9. Blessed be God, I can still believe. Satan thrusts sore at me
with his fiery darts. But they have no point: they cannot enter my soul:
the Lord keeps me in the trying hour.
Thursday 12. I rose with new desires to seek the Lord, and I found him
at the morning preaching. After dinner, some of our neighbours were
talking of one that had wronged them, and I thought it was better I
should be reading my bible. So I withdrew. Glory be to God who gave
me light to see, and power to take the safer path. In the evening some
were pleading for a wilderness-state. I told them, that was not the
Lord’s will concerning us: and I found freedom to tell them what he had
done for my soul. O may he keep me low at his feet, depending upon him
every moment for fresh supplies of grace!
Friday 13. Thanks be to God, I am at peace with God and all men, and
love them all for Christ’s sake. I see, I am myself all weakness: yet
_I can do all things through Christ’s strengthening me_. His mercies
are new unto me every morning. O may he give me a thankful heart!
Sunday 15. I was much tempted with wandering thoughts at church, and to
anger about the children: but, glory be to God, I perceived the enemy
in his first approach, and looked for strength, and received it. May
the Lord give me a watchful, praying spirit, and fill my soul with
humble love!
Monday 16. Was the quarterly meeting, and Mr. _W._ was there. I wanted
to go; but continually another and another business interposed. I was
often tempted to impatience; but I saw the temptation just as it came,
and it fled away. At the love-feast, I stood up to speak: but I had
only spoke two or three words, when Mr. _Furz_ (I suppose not hearing
me) concluded. I was tempted to be displeased; but it took no place,
the Lord giving me strength.
Tuesday 17. What a solemn morning was this! Dear Mr. _W._ preached
his farewel sermon. May the Lord graft it on my heart, and brighten my
evidence more and more. I have had reasonings to-day, whether the work
was done: but glory be to God, I cannot doubt of it. I cannot doubt,
but he has cast out sin. May he keep it out for ever!
*Wednesday 18. I am afraid, lest I should think something of myself.
O may the Lord keep the foot of pride from me! It is of his free mercy
that I am out of hell, and that I am preserved to this hour. And I must
still perish, if he were extreme to mark my misdoings, and if he did
not wash my most holy things in his blood.
Thursday 19. Blessed be God, I have been stayed upon him this day, and
desiring to be filled with all his fulness. O for this spirit of prayer
at all times, and in all places, to _set the Lord always before me_!
Saturday 21. My whole desire, is to have every thought, word and
work, brought into the obedience of Christ, and to have my soul always
ascending to God, wherever I am, and whatever I am about. This evening
he was pleased to brighten my evidence. May he wash and keep me clean
every moment!
Wednesday 25. This has been a day of temptation and trial on every side;
but glory be to God, I could rejoice in the midst of it. May the Lord
always give me to see the difference between sin and temptation!
Thursday 26. I often feel a soreness of heart, as sore as if it had
been cutting. May the Lord give me to know, whether it is from him, or
from any thing I have done amiss! If it is, may he bring it to my mind,
that I may bring it to him and have it done away!
Sunday 29. I have found this a solemn day to my soul: especially at
church in the morning, at the noon preaching, and in the afternoon,
while three of us were conversing together on spiritual things. O may
we meet, where we shall cast our crowns before the Lamb, and praise him
to all eternity!
Monday 30. I know what the soreness of heart means. Truly _I am sick
of love. Come into thy garden, my love, my dove, thou chiefest of
ten thousand!_ O what amazing love, that thou and thy Father should
condescend to dwell with dust and ashes! Thou God of love, make me
truly thankful for all thy benefits!
Thursday, October 3. This morning the body craved rest; but I forced
myself to rise. Indeed, my _delight is in the law of the_ Lord, _and
in his law do I exercise myself day and night_. It was an happy day.
But toward evening I was not so lively. My body sunk under me. And the
enemy of souls is ready at every turn. But, blessed be God, I was more
than conqueror.
Friday 4. I was greatly blessed with the love of God. O how happy is
it, to love him _with all our heart_? Yet in the afternoon, thro’ hurry
of business, I was much tempted to peevishness. But glory be to God, he
saved me from it. Let me die rather than offend him!
Saturday 5. I went to bring home my little child from my
mother-in-law’s. On the road I called to see a neighbour, who asked
for my husband and mother. I said, without thinking, they gave their
service to her. But how was I surprised, as soon as the words were out
of my mouth! I cried to God for pardon, yet continued in heaviness all
the day, and at night was almost afraid to go to sleep. In the morning,
while several of us were at prayer, it pleased God to set me at liberty.
Tuesday 8. I had great freedom in prayer with my friends, before I came
away. I had a solemn sense of God all the way home, admiring his wisdom
and greatness and goodness in all his works. But I am afraid, when I
said, “Put the best cloth on my pillion, not the maid’s,” lest there
should be pride in it. If there was, Lord, take it all away, and save
me from it for the time to come!
Friday 11. I was much out of order in body, yet happy in soul. But
at noon I spoke a word unadvisedly, which afflicted me much. The Lord
pardon me, and give me power to watch over my every thought, and word,
and action!
Saturday 12. This being the fair-day, was a time of much hurry:
but, blessed be God, I was kept in peace. And often I enjoy blessed
communion with God, and can, as it were, grasp my Saviour with earnest
affection. Indeed he is precious to my soul. He is all I desire in
earth or heaven.
Sunday 13. Thinking of going to _Truro_, I cut a piece of oil-case, and
pinned on my bonnet, to keep off the rain. But it came to me soon after,
“Have not you been doing work on the Lord’s-day?” I was affrighted, and
cried to God: and quickly his peace flowed back into my heart.
Tuesday 25. I was assaulted by a strong temptation to lightness. But,
glory be to God, I was not overcome. Afterwards I was roughly accused,
for speaking a word that was not took well. If I sinned therein, may
the Lord humble me for it, and teach me to guard my words. May I live
no longer, but to adorn the gospel of God my Saviour.
Friday 18. I was tempted to set my heart on our garden. But I cried for
help and was delivered. I hope to use both this, and every thing else,
with a single eye to the glory of God. Blessed be God, I have solid,
settled peace; and find my heart enlarged, to promote his glory as far
as lies in my power. May he assist me, and keep me to the end!
Saturday 19. Glory be to God, I see and feel my own weakness more and
more. My soul is greatly drawn out after God, for a larger measure of
grace. O may I be throughly
“Willing to receive,
What thy goodness waits to give!”
Tuesday 22. This has been a day of trial, even from my nearest friend.
But, glory be to God, I have been kept in peace; though without Christ
I cannot stand a moment. I long to be nearer Christ, and to have a more
awful sense of God’s presence in my ♦worldly business. Lord, take away
the spirit of forgetfulness from me, and let me set thee always before
me.
♦ “wordly” replaced with “worldly”
Friday 25. I was waked this morning by the cries of my little child,
who was very ill. I asked the maid to get up, and light the fire. She
was unwilling, and spoke quick. I answered quick, “I wonder you can
lie by the child, and hear him cry so.” Immediately I felt a danger of
anger, and stopped short, glory be to God.
Saturday 26. I kept my bed most part of the day, and was likewise heavy
in spirit, and had hardly any power to pray. But in the evening I was
greatly comforted, in thinking how glorious the change would be, _when
this mortal_ would _put on immortality, and death be swallowed up in
victory_.
Monday 28. My little boy continued exceeding ill: I was quite resigned
concerning him, only desiring it might please God, to ease his pain,
either by life or by death. But I want more patience: I want a more
feeling sense of the sufferings of our Lord, which he endured for _me_,
though he knew no sin. And shall I, who deserve hell, complain of any
thing?
Saturday November 2. My child being very unruly, I had a struggle to
avoid anger in correcting her. May the Lord enable me, to keep my watch
every moment; otherwise I cannot but fall.
Monday 4. This has been a blessed day of communion with God,
particularly in private prayer. And yet I feel sin and Satan always
near. But I find Christ nearer still.
Wednesday 6. Glory be to God, my whole desire is, to know more of
myself, and more of God: to see more of God in every thing, and to be
filled with a deeper awe of his constant presence.
Thursday 7. Blessed be the Lord for patience, under the unkind
treatment of my nearest and dearest friends. I have been this week
much drawn out in prayer, for the souls of all people. But I longed
most of all for the prosperity of _Sion_, and that the Lord might ever
reign supreme in mine own heart.
Tuesday 12. Some part of the day, I was dull and heavy; till I cried to
the Lord, and he quickened me. In the afternoon, when the maid spoke,
I felt lightness flashing on me as quick as lightning. But the Lord
lifted up his standard against it: and it went as quick as it came. May
he keep me from it as from the greatest of sins; for indeed there is no
little sin in the sight of God.
Wednesday 13. This has been a day of strong prayer, and God has
blessed me in a glorious manner. Yet the powers of darkness surrounded
me in private prayer, so that sometimes I was almost afraid. But I
cried to the Lord, and he refreshed my soul; and I could say with dear
confidence, _Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil_.
Monday 18. I spoke a word unawares, which I was afterwards afraid,
was not true. Then it came to me, “Where is your clean heart now?” But
immediately I cried to God, “Lord, give me power to watch over my words,
and always to think before I speak.”
Wednesday 20. Blessed be God, he has kept me this day also, and
refreshed me with the showers of his grace. Yet the enemy questioned my
evidence, and said, it was only justification which I experienced. But
I know him to be a liar from the beginning. Afterwards, in the hurry of
business, he strove to sow peevishness in me: but I begged the Lord to
keep me from it, and he heard me.
Saturday 23. I was heavy in soul, and had many profane words brought
before me. Sometimes also it was suggested, “Thou wilt destroy thyself:”
at other times, “Thou hast committed the unpardonable sin.” The Lord
keep me in the hour of temptation, and from the hour of temptation!
Monday 25. This was a blessed day to my soul. My mind was solemnly
stayed on God. All the clouds were dispersed, and the sun of
righteousness shone upon me again.
Tuesday 26. Our leader not coming, I was desired to lead the band. It
was a cross to me, for fear I should not discharge my duty. But the
Lord gave me a word to speak to each, and power to wrestle for them in
prayer. Yet at night, I had much reasoning, whether I had spoken right;
and then it was suggested, I had done well. The Lord give me power to
flee from pride, in every kind and degree!
Thursday 28. Blessed be God, Christ was exceeding precious to me this
morning. O what love had I for Christ! The Lord fill me with love every
moment!
Saturday 30. I find my short-comings daily, and am amazed at the
goodness of God. I was much distressed this evening, because, ♦I
did not take up my cross, and give thanks after tea, though we had
strangers. The Lord pardon me for it, and make me bolder for the time
to come!
♦ “did” replaced with “I did” per Errata
Tuesday, December 3. Blessed be God, he raised me up to hear his word.
And it was spirit and life to my soul. O what has he done for me, a
sinner? He has saved me from guilt and from in-bred corruption, and has
filled me with love. Now let _patience have its perfect work_!
Wednesday 4. Pride has presented itself to-day: but I looked unto God,
and there was nothing in me to join with it: glory be to his name! I
found great love to my sisters, and to some in particular. Sometimes I
think, whether it is only a natural love: but I am soon assured, I love
them only for Christ’s sake. Indeed my heart is inlarged toward all
mankind; though particularly the people of God. But I want more faith
and patience. I want to be more humble and meek. O may I be all like a
little child!
*Friday 6. I used abstinence; and mourned, that I could not deny myself
more. When I think, what my Lord suffered for _me_, what a little is it,
to suffer the loss of an ordinary meal for him? O may it be _my meat
and drink, to do his_ blessed _will_ on earth, as it is done in heaven!
Saturday 7. I advised with some of my friends, about dressing meat
on Sunday. So I dressed meat to-night for our dinner to-morrow,
according to their advice, and resolved hereafter (whoever was pleased
or displeased) to obey God rather than man. I had afterwards some sharp
words concerning it: but _a soft answer turned away wrath_.
Tuesday 10. We had sharp words again to-day, but, glory be to God, I
had patience. I did not make any reply, and found nothing but love in
my heart. May God give me the whole mind which was in my blessed Lord!
Thursday 12. Amidst the troubles and trials of the ungodly, I had the
refreshing springs of my Lord’s love and grace. At night I was dull
and sleepy before family-prayer: but then the Lord quickened my soul.
I have been begging of him to-day more faith, more watchfulness, more
humility: more understanding in his word, more knowledge of Satan’s
devices, and power to shun them at the first approach. And O may he
wash my best performances in his precious blood! May I still take great
delight in the law of the Lord, and _keep his commandments with my
whole heart_!
*Sunday 15. After I went to bed, I was much distrest, for cutting a
ribband to wear. I was never till now convinced, that it was prophaning
the Lord’s-day: blessed be God for convincing now! O what trouble was
I in for a quarter of an hour! But I cried to God, and he rose on my
soul again. May he abide therein, till time shall commence a glorious
eternity!
Tuesday 17. I had a difficult talk in the evening, being obliged to
lead the band. O how insufficient am I for such a work! I did not think
it was so great a thing before. The Lord pardon whatever I said amiss.
There seemed to be a cloud over us in prayer. If the cause was in _me_,
the Lord reveal it, and take it away, for Christ’s sake!
Sunday 22. The enemy presented pride to me: but, blessed be God, I
looked to him, and it fled away. I hope, he will never be able any
more to sow this seed in my heart.