THE PERSONAL CARD AND THE ENGRAVED INVITATION
_Form of Card_
A MAN'S card is usually one and a half by three inches in size, and
made of fairly stiff bristol board. A woman's card is usually about
two and three-sixteenths by three inches, and made of dull-finish,
fine, medium-weight bristol board.
The color of cards is a fine pearl white. Cream or tinted cards are
never in good form.
The engraving varies from plain script to elaborate Old English text,
or shaded Roman type, according to the fashion. The engraver may be
trusted to know the style and stock most in use.
The card of an unmarried lady should be somewhat smaller than that of
the married. This distinction is made, however, only in case of the
card of the débutante.
_Inscription_
If there is room across the card the full name should be engraved. If
the names are too long, only the initials of given names should be
used.
All inscriptions on one card should be in the same style of type.
"Mr." is prefixed, unless there is a special title, such as,
"Reverend," "Doctor," "Colonel," etc. If a man should, in an
emergency, write his own name on a card, he would not prefix the
"Mr.," or any other title. The name should be written in full and
should be an autograph.
A married lady should have her husband's full name, or such form or
parts of it as he uses, with the title "Mrs.," and not her own name.
A young woman has the title "Miss" engraved before her name, even
though she be only a schoolgirl.
A young man has no title at all on his card, but simply his full name.
The newly married couple use a card with the title of "Mr. and Mrs."
for the first year after marriage, in returning their ceremonious
calls after the wedding, and paying formal calls when the husband is
unable to accompany the wife. These cards should have the address in
the lower right-hand corner, and the reception day or days in the
lower left. After the first year they are seldom used in paying calls,
but can be used for condolence, congratulation, or farewell where both
husband and wife desire to be formally represented.
A woman who is personally distinguished, who occupies a high social
position, or whose husband stands at the head of his family, may have
only "Mrs. Barnaby," not "Mrs. John Barnaby," upon her cards. It is
better, however, not to do so unless one has the indisputable right to
be considered as _the_ Mrs. Barnaby of the locality. It is customary
for the wife of the oldest brother of the oldest branch of the family
alone to have the privilege of this form.
The same rule of precedence applies to single women. The oldest
unmarried daughter of the oldest brother, and she alone, has the right
to use "Miss Campbell" on her card, although she may have a cousin who
is much older than herself, but who is the daughter of a younger
brother of the same family.
A widow has no cards during her year of mourning, as she makes no
formal visits. After that, cards with black border to any depth
desired may be used.
A widow has no legal right to retain her husband's Christian name, but
she often prefers to do so, and it is entirely proper, the question
being one of sentiment alone. In case there is a married son of the
same name as the father, then it is proper for the mother to put "Sr."
for Senior, at the end of her name, should she desire still to retain
her husband's Christian name.
In such a case widows occasionally prefer to use their own names or
initials.
In this country a married woman merges her name with that of her
husband. It is not uncommon nowadays for married women to sign their
own Christian name, their maiden surname, and their husband's surname
as their signature. There is value in this as it preserves the family
identity of the married woman, but the question of its legality may
always be raised.
The name of daughter or daughters is often engraved below that of the
mother on her card, before the young woman enters formally into
society. The form "The Misses Smith" may be used, or the names given
separately. In New York in some circles the débutante is not given a
separate card until she has been in society a year. As American
schoolgirls often have a card with the prefix "Miss," the débutante
may use this among her girl friends.
To write anything on an engraved card except "Condolences,"
"Congratulations," "_P. p. c._," is not considered good style,
although a lady may use her visiting card with "Five o'clock tea,"
"Music," or a special date written upon it as an informal invitation
to a musical or "At Home."
A business or professional woman may have, in addition to her society
card, a card with her own name for business purposes. This usually has
a word or two denoting her profession in the lower left-hand corner,
and her business address in the lower right.
A lady's card should always contain her home address in the lower
right-hand corner. Her afternoon "At Home" is usually given in the
lower left.
The address is often omitted from cards for men, being engraved on
those of the women of the family. Men belonging to a fashionable or
well-known club put its name, instead of their residence, on their
cards. This is especially the case when they do not live at home. If
living at a club, the address is put on the lower left-hand corner; if
living at home, the lower right-hand corner.
On a man's business cards the title "Mr." is omitted, the name of his
firm, their business, and address, being engraved in the lower
left-hand corner.
_Titles_
Titles which signify permanent rank, or profession that lasts for
life, and which are allied to a man's identity or distinctly bear
upon his social standing, should be used.
Temporary titles, which have no special social rank or bearing, or
professional titles, such as "Esquire" for lawyers, which have no
social significance, are not used.
For the same reason that temporary or technical titles are not used,
honorary titles are omitted. There should be no pretense in regard to
social position, as pretense is easy and futile. A man appears in
society simply as an ordinary individual, to win favor and position by
force of his personality, or to lose it thereby.
An army or a naval officer, a physician, a judge, or a clergyman may
use his title on his card, as, for instance, "Captain James Smith,"
"Judge Henry Gray," "Rev. Thomas Jones, D. D." The card of an
Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court at Washington
reads "Mr. Justice Holmes." Military or complimentary titles are not
used, nor are coats of arms. In this republican country it is
considered an affectation and bad taste so to make use of them.
Political and judicial titles are also omitted, as are academic
titles, such as Chancellor, Dean, and Professor.
No title below the rank of Captain is used on the card in military
circles. A lieutenant's card would give his full name with the prefix
"Mr." and below it the words, "Lieutenant of Fifth Cavalry, United
States Army," or simply, "United States Coast Guard Service."
_Use_
The etiquette of the visiting card is a fluctuating one. It cannot be
laid down for all time, or even for next season.
On entering at a reception, or afternoon tea, one leaves a card in the
salver offered by the butler or attendant who opens the door, or upon
the hall table, as a reminder to the hostess, who can hardly be
expected to remember, if entertaining a large number, every one who
has been there.
One does not leave cards at a wedding reception, however.
At an afternoon tea, it is no longer necessary to leave a card apiece
from all the members of the invited families to all the members of the
family of the hostess and her guests also. The single card for the
host and hostess is all that is required.
Should one be invited to a series of receptions, one leaves cards only
once although one may attend twice. Leaving cards in person after a
tea or reception is good form only for ceremonious affairs. After the
usual private reception one should certainly call.
If only one member of a family can attend a reception to which the
others have been invited, she may leave the cards of the others,
together with her own, with perfect propriety.
Also when one is not able to attend a reception or an afternoon tea,
cards may be sent by mail, although it is better to send them by
messenger, to arrive on the day of the entertainment. One should call
within a fortnight.
It is not now considered necessary to call in person where formerly it
was so held. The sending of the personal card often takes the place of
the call. Nor need this be done by messenger. Cards for any purpose
may now be sent by mail.
After removing from one part of the city to another, it is customary
for ladies to send engraved cards with their new address and with
their reception day to all of their circle of acquaintances.
A woman who is stopping for a brief time in a city where she has
friends, sends to them her card containing her temporary address and
the length of her stay, as "Here until June second," or "Here until
Sunday."
A man, however, calls upon his friends, and if they are absent leaves
his card giving the same information.
If a son old enough to go into society wishes to do so, his card is
left with his father's and mother's at the beginning of the season.
He will then be invited to the functions given by the friends of his
parents.
When there is illness or mourning in the household, friends leave
their cards with the words "To inquire," "Sincere condolence," or
"Sympathy" written upon them.
The card which accompanies wedding gifts should be the joint card of
"Mr. and Mrs.," if the gift is sent jointly, and may well have the
words "Best wishes and congratulations," written upon it.
The initials "_P. p. c._," meaning "_Pour prendre congé_," or "To take
leave," are written upon one's personal cards, which are then sent out
to one's friends when one is going away from a place either
permanently or for a long time. They are usually written in the lower
left-hand corner of the card. These cards may be sent by post, when
the person leaving town has not the time to make a personal visit.
They are not used when leaving town for the summer.
It is quite proper to send or leave "_P. p. c._" cards when one goes
away from a summer resort, especially if the people to whom they are
sent do not live during the year in the same town or city with the
sender.
It is no longer permissible to fold over the ends of a card, to
signify that it was intended for all the members of the family.
The birth of a child may be announced by a small card containing the
full name of the child daintily engraved, with the date of the birth
in the lower left-hand corner. The card is tied to the mother's card
by white ribbon, and both are enclosed in one envelope and sent by
post.
Visiting cards for those who are in mourning are the same size as the
ordinary card. The width of the black border is regulated by the
degree of the relationship to the deceased.
_The Engraved Invitation_
A fine grade of heavy, unglazed, pure white paper, suède finish, in
double sheet folded to a size about five by seven and a half inches,
or less, inserted in an envelope of the same width but half the
length, is used for the billet on which wedding invitations and
announcements are engraved. The impress of the plate demarks a margin
of about an inch.
A heavy or medium grade of white bristol board is used for invitations
to "At Homes," dinner, receptions, dances, and all like social
functions for which the common visiting card is not used. The size
used varies with the number of words in the invitation, and may be
quite large, as for a club or society reception, or formal openings or
special occasions where a business corporation is the host. These
cards have the same plate margin as the wedding invitation, although
it is much narrower. Only the most formal invitations have space left
for the writing in of the name of the guest.
The billet, however, has certain advantages, especially where the
occasion is very formal and select, and the information which should
be furnished the guest is considerable. Elegance of this sort is now
very costly.
Several styles of type are in use: namely, the script having close
round letters, and being as nearly black as Roman or Old English when
engraved; a script lighter and more cursive; an Old English lettering;
a shaded Roman letter, which is constantly growing in popularity;
shaded Caxton; solid and shaded French script; and a plain Roman block
letter.
The script is the type most commonly used, both because of its beauty
and legibility, and because of the comparative inexpensiveness of
engraving, the cost being about half of that of either the Old English
or the shaded Roman type.
It is obvious that the size of page in this book will not permit
facsimile reproductions of specimens of invitations and other social
forms, which in nearly every case require a different proportion of
space than the page offers. Therefore, to reproduce the style of
lettering used for these forms has not been attempted. The examples
present correct wording and proportionate arrangement.
The following plates, which are exact photographs of steel and copper
engraving, present several styles of script, Old English, and shaded
and plain Roman faces, but do not represent more than a few sizes, and
those the most common.
[Illustration: Type styles and sizes for invitations]
_at the Church of the Messiah_
_Two Dancing Parties_
_request the pleasure of_
_At Home_ _At Home_
=announce the marriage of=
=BROOKLINE, MASSACHUSETTS=
=First Unitarian Church=
=request the honour of your presence=
_=Mr. and Mrs.=_ _=New Hampshire=_
=ANNOUNCE THE MARRIAGE OF=
=Mr. and Mrs.=
=at Emmanuel Church=
=at Warren, Pennsylvania=
_=Mrs. William Howell Meade=_
_Mrs. William Howell Meade_
=Mrs. William Howell Meade=
=MRS. WILLIAM HOWELL MEADE=
_Dining and Party Invitations_
The engraved card invitation for a luncheon is usually worded as
follows:
_Mrs. Everetts S. Sinclair
requests the pleasure of your company
at Luncheon
on Tuesday, February nineteenth
at one o'clock
Hotel Willard_
The dinner invitation is identical, except that for "Luncheon" is
substituted "Dinner," and the hour is usually half after seven or
eight o'clock. To this, or to any other dining invitation, may be
added in the lower left-hand corner the words "Please reply," or, "The
favor of a reply is requested."
The party invitation may take either of the two following forms:
_Mrs. Harold Harmon Williams
requests the pleasure of your company
at a dancing party to be given
at the Glendale Country Club
Wednesday evening, December the twenty-ninth
from eight until eleven o'clock_
_Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Fairfield Watson
request the pleasure of_
_company at The Somerset Club
on the evening of Friday the ninth of February
from nine until one o'clock
Dancing and Bridge 95 Jackson Boulevard_
The blank invitation is very convenient, as it may be sent out at
short notice, and is definite and personal. The following is a form
which lends itself to any one of the usual kinds of home
entertainment:
_Mr. and Mrs. St. John Ambrose Lockwood
request the pleasure of_
........................................
_company at_............................
_on_............................
_at_................................
_97 Washington Avenue_
When, on an engraved invitation of any sort, be it wedding or dinner
or any other, a blank line or lines are left for the insertion of the
name of the guest, there is danger that, unless this is done with
great care and by an able penman, the beauty of the invitation be
ruined, and therefore its cost thrown away. For that reason a wholly
engraved invitation is perhaps better, unless the work of addressing
them and inserting the name is to be done by a professional penman. Of
course, when this is done and well done, there is a personal touch, a
suggestion of individual welcome, which can be gained in no other way,
and which the wholly engraved invitation lacks.
When an entertainment is given by a family at some place other than
their home, the invitations have the name of the place and the street
address put in at the usual place on the invitation, and then in the
lower right-hand corner the words "Please reply," with the home
address.
A bachelor or widower uses his name alone at the top of the
invitation. He will, of course, provide a chaperon, who in many
respects takes the place of a hostess and so acts, but her name does
not appear upon his invitation, unless she be his sister or near
relative. The invitation then becomes a joint one, after the usual
form.
A widower with daughters may send out invitations headed in either of
the following forms:
_Mr. John Marquand_
_Miss Marquand_
_Miss Estelle Marquand_
or
_Mr. John Marquand_
_The Misses Marquand_
For a dinner followed by a dance there are two invitations, the one a
dinner invitation at an early hour for the favored few, the other a
dancing party invitation at a later hour.
Clubs have blanks which may be filled in by their members when they
wish to entertain. These are issued in the club name, and are like any
other private invitation, except that at the bottom and to the left
"Compliments of" is engraved, and the name of the member who is
special host is written in.
Invitations containing the words "_Bal Poudre_" signify that the
entertainment is a masquerade or fancy dress party, and the guests are
expected to come in fancy costume with powdered hair.
The word "ball" is used of an elaborate formal dance, usually a public
one given by some club or for charity, and rarely of a private dance.
In spite of the predominance of the engraved invitation for the most
formal affairs, still small dinners, and even receptions and dancing
parties, are sometimes announced by the handwritten invitations. The
form should be the same as the engraved one, although to very intimate
friends it should be changed to a friendly note.
Acceptances are in the form of the invitation. If that is an informal
note, the acceptance or regret is sent in the same style. If the
invitation is formal, the reply also should be written in the third
person and be about as follows:
_Mr. and Mrs. Allston B. Sinclair
accept with pleasure the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Emanuel Farrington
for dinner
on Thursday, the ninth of December
at half after eight o'clock_
The reply to an invitation should be sent to the person or persons who
issued it, never to any other member of the family, although such a
one may be better known.
To write the word "Regrets" on one's visiting card and send it in
declination of any invitation is bad form, even if the invitation come
in similar shape. One should always write a note of regret.
Bachelors and widowers, who entertain at their apartments or studio or
club, and army and navy officers never use the words "At Home," but
always "request the pleasure (or honour) of your presence."
If one is entertaining a guest and an invitation is received, one may
with propriety ask the hostess for an invitation for one's guest, if
the form of entertainment is so general as to make this right and
reasonable; otherwise one must decline the invitation. It would not be
right to ask for another dinner invitation, or one to a select group
of people, where the guest would be an intruder.
It is preferable and a much later form to use the words "Please
reply," or "An early reply is requested," rather than the abbreviation
"_R. s. v. p._" for "_Rèpondez, s'il vous plaît_," meaning "Reply, if
you please."
If a son should return from college or other absence, and the parents
wish to entertain for him, their invitations would have at the bottom
the word "For" followed by his name.
In sending out invitations, one should be sent to the father and
mother jointly, one to each son separately, and one to the daughters
jointly, the latter being addressed "The Misses Estabrook."
Invitations should be sent to people in mourning, although they are
not expected to accept. They should not be slighted or forgotten
during such a period.
_Wedding Invitations and Announcements_
The following are the usual forms of wording for the wedding
invitation:
_Mr. and Mrs. Reinhard Ernst Ormond_
_request the honour of your presence_
_at the marriage of their daughter_
_Eida_
_to_
_Dr. Otto Bertelli_
_on Wednesday, the first of April_
_nineteen hundred and thirteen_
_at twelve o'clock_
_Church of the Messiah_
_St. Louis, Missouri_
_Mr. Arnold Hamilton Forsyth_
_requests the pleasure of your company_
_at the marriage reception of his daughter_
_Margaret_
_and_
_Mr. Walter Mallory_
_on the evening of Wednesday, the twenty-ninth_
_of June_
_one thousand nine hundred and twelve_
_from eight until ten o'clock_
_17 Elm Hill Avenue_
_Philadelphia, Pennsylvania_
_R. s. v. p._
_Dr. and Mrs. Maurice Howe Cavanaugh_
_request the honour of_
_presence at the marriage of their daughter_
_Rebecca Falmouth_
_to_
_Mr. Charles Hunnewell Clark_
_on Monday, the ninth of July_
_at eight o'clock_
_Church of the Redeemer_
_Washington_
The usual form of marriage announcement is as follows:
_Mr. and Mrs. William T. Kimball_
_announce the marriage of their daughter_
_Dorothy Lucinda_
_to_
_Mr. LeRoy L. Hallock_
_on Wednesday, the first day of December_
_one thousand nine hundred and twelve_
_Chicago, Illinois_
_Mr. Arthur Edmand Sawyer_
_and_
_Miss Emma Pauline Farrington_
_announce their marriage_
_on Sunday the sixteenth of July_
_one thousand nine hundred and ten_
_at Boston, Massachusetts_
The "At Home" card of the bridal couple, which goes with a wedding
invitation, does not have the name of the couple upon it, but reads
simply
_At Home_
_after the first of November_
_1219 Pennsylvania Avenue_
_Washington_
When an "At Home" card is included in a wedding _announcement_,
however, the name of the couple appears upon it, as follows:
_Mr. and Mrs. Albion Frederick Marston_
_Will be at home_ _763 Chapel Avenue_
_after the first of August_ _Toronto_
For the card of invitation to the wedding reception the wording is as
follows:
_Reception_
_immediately after the ceremony_
_Eight Salem Street_
or
_Reception_
_immediately after the ceremony_
_in the church parlors_
In the case of a church wedding, it is always well to enclose with the
invitation a small card reading: "Please present this card at the
church on August the third."
In case the wedding takes place in the country and invitations are
sent to many friends in the city, a card giving directions as to what
train to take, and where, which is to be presented to the conductor
instead of a ticket, and which entitles the possessor to special
accommodations, is enclosed with the invitation.
Wedding invitations, or announcements, and their accompanying cards,
are enclosed in two envelopes, one within the other, of the same
stock as the billets. Upon the outer is written the name of the person
and his street address; upon the inner only the name of the one for
whom it is intended.
Wedding invitations should be addressed to "Mrs. Chandler Jones," on
the outside envelope. Within this is a second envelope addressed to
"Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Jones." The older custom is to address the
outside envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Jones," as well as the
inside. The lady of the house is now, however, beginning to be looked
upon as head of its social affairs, as her husband is of its business
affairs, and hence the style of addressing invitations to her.
The words "And Family" are no longer used after the parents' names,
but separate invitations are sent to the members.
It is quite the courteous thing to include among the people invited to
a wedding, especially if it is to be in a church, the special business
friends and associates of the bridegroom-elect, his father, and the
bride's father.
In case the invitations are for the ceremony only at a church wedding,
the address of the bride's parents should be embossed upon the outside
envelope.
Acquaintances purely professional do not receive cards to a wedding.
One's physician, however, if his family is prominent socially, may be
included among the guests.
Announcement cards should be quite ready to post immediately after the
ceremony. They should be sent to all the circle of friends and
acquaintances of both the bride's and the bridegroom's families, save
to those who have been invited to the marriage or the wedding
reception.
The announcement of an "At Home" or reception should always be made on
a separate card,--not on a corner of the wedding invitation or
announcement.
An immediate reply is necessary when one is invited to a home wedding.
If the wedding is a church wedding, and there is no reception
following it, one makes no reply if one intends to be present, but
sends one's card upon the date set, if one cannot attend.
_Various Announcement Cards_
In case of the postponement of a wedding or a dinner or reception
because of some grave accident or illness, the cancellation of the
invitations, or the announcement of the postponement, should be
engraved and sent out at the earliest possible date.
For a wedding it may read somewhat as follows:
_Mr. and Mrs. Maynard S. Taylor_
_regret to announce_
_that on account of serious illness in the family_
_the marriage of their daughter_
_Emmeline and Mr. Fosdick Arlington_
_will be indefinitely postponed_
A family which has passed through a period of calamity and bereavement
may wish to make some acknowledgment of the attentions of friends, and
may do so in some such form as follows:
_The brothers and sisters of_
_Dr. Ralph J. Harkins_
_gratefully acknowledge_
_your kind expression of sympathy_
The special "At Home" card which is used for a reception in honor of a
friend or guest may contain the name of the friend either on the first
or the last line of the invitation, with the words "To meet" before
it; as:
_Mrs. Ernest L. Lafricain_
_At Home_
_Thursday, December twenty-third_
_from four to six_
_275 Grand Pré Avenue, Montreal_
_To meet Mrs. Jackson Seymour Montgomery_
For a general reception the following form is good:
_Mr. and Mrs. Henry Illington Bray_
_Mr. and Mrs. Harold Bray_
_request the honor of your presence_
_on New Year's Day_
_from four until half after seven o'clock_
_174 Albemarle Street_
_Winnipeg_
The private engraved card for Christmas and New Year greetings, which
may be sent to one's entire list of friends, is much in favor. Great
distinction and individuality of design and selection of sentiment may
be obtained by this means. The following is an appropriate form:
"_The glory breaks
And Christmas comes once more_"
_Mr. and Mrs. Nathaniel Clarke Sutherland
cordially greet_
_with every good wish of the Season_