RIGDUM FUNNIDOS lamenteth, that there are, in this our day, among those
who do seek to subvert the venerable usages of our ancestors, divers
vauntings and boastings as to what they do most affectedly and
erroneously term "the growing intelligence of the age,"—"the march of
intellect," and such-like absurd phraseologies. This irreverent spirit
doth manifest itself in unseemly comparisons, between the times which
are past, and those which are present, which do end in a preferring, to
the wisdom of the olden time, their own newfangled and presumptuous
theories. Nay, there be even those who do maintain, that what the
lamented FRANCIS MOORE did, and other equally wise admirers of the
by-gone past do, venerate as the _olden_ time, is, in very sooth, the
_juvenile_ time; inasmuch as time groweth older every day, and, as a
necessary consequence thereof, every succeeding generation groweth
wiser. It profiteth not to waste words on such manifest absurdity;
suffice it therefore to say, that RIGDUM FUNNIDOS hath, with much cost
and travail, assemblaged what may be most worthily intituled, a fair
sample of '_collective wisdom_' wherein will be found, most
conspicuously shown forth, the worthiness of our ancestors to the
designation of _Wise_.
"Concerning the superstitious use of what is called the Glorious
Hand, or Hand of Glory, by housebreakers in their robberies, we have
the following account:—The pretended use of this glorious hand is to
stupify or stun all those who are present, and render them perfectly
insensible. This glorious hand is the hand of a hanged criminal,
prepared in the following manner:—It is wrapped up in a bit of
winding-sheet, very tight, to force out the small remainder of
blood, then put into an earthen vessel with zimat, saltpetre, salt,
and long pepper, all well pulverised, after which, 'tis left fifteen
days in that pot, then taken out and exposed to the hottest sun of
dog days, till it becomes very dry; and if the sun be not hot
enough, they dry it in an oven heated with fern and vervain; then
they make a sort of candle of the grease of the hanged man, virgin
wax, and Lapland sefanum, and they make use of this glorious hand as
a candlestick, to hold this candle when lighted; and in all places
wherever they come with this fatal instrument, everybody they find
there becomes immoveable. We are also told, that it is to no purpose
for thieves to make use of this glorious hand, if the threshold of
the door, or other places by which they may enter, be rubbed over
with an unguent, composed of the gall of a black cat, the fat of a
white hen, and the blood of an owl, and that this composition be
made in the dog days."—_Tr. of Little Albert_, p. 34.
"John Weer, in his Book de Prestigus, has drawn up an inventory of
the diabolical monarchy, with the names and surnames of seventy-two
princes, and the seven million four hundred and five thousand nine
hundred and twenty-six devils, errors of computation only excepted,
adding what qualities and properties, and to what purposes they may
serve when invoked."—_Bodin_, p. 404.
"Thrasillus, a Heathen author, cited by Stobœus, says, that at the
Nile was a stone like a bear, which cured those who were afflicted
with dæmons for as soon as ever it was applied to the noses of
dæmoniacks, the devil immediately left them."—_Bodin_, p. 301.
"The way to be certainly loved, is, to take the marrow of a wolf's
left foot, and make of it a sort of pomatum, with ambergris and
cyprus powder, carry it about one, and cause the person to smell of
it from time to time."—_Albertus_, p. 12.
"To prevent differences and a divorce betwixt a man and his wife,
take two quails' hearts, the one of a male, the other of a female,
and cause the man to carry about him the male, and the woman the
female."—_Thiers_, tome 1, p. 389.
"Place a Toad's heart on a woman's left breast when she sleeps, to
make her tell her secrets."—_Thiers_, tome 1, p. 389.
_From_ "MARKHAM'S HORSEMANSHIP."
_How to doe with a Jaded Horse._—When that your horse is thoroughly
tired, and hath yet much of his journey to do, alight from him, and
cut, from the nighest hedge, a short wande, which you shall jag in
notches with your knife, and, making a hole in the thinnest of his
ear, when he dothe flag in his pace, then saw the stick to and froe
in the hole, which will revive him soe that, until he be entirely
spent, he will not faile to goe.
_Another way, with the horse of_ a friend, _or that is hired, and
soe that the proper owner shall not know thereof_.—When that your
beast is muche wearied, and hath yet far to travel, get down from
his back, and choose from the road side six smooth round pebbles, of
which you shall put three in his right ear, and tye up the ear with
binde-weed, or long grass, purse-wise; then mount him again and put
him on his mettle, and with the motion of his head the stones in his
ear will rattle seemingly to him like thunder, which will soe
inspirit him that while he hath life in him he will not fail to goe;
and when he doth, after that, slacken of his pace, then tye up three
in his left ear also.
_From_ "ONE THOUSAND NOTABLE THINGS."
_To Staunch the Bleeding of a Wound._—Write these four letters, A O
G L, with the blood of the wound, about the wound.
_A Medicine for the Toothache._—Take a live Mowle, and put him in a
brass pot, and there let him die, then cut him asunder and take out
the guts, and dry the blood with a cloth, then cut him in quarters,
and hang him on a thred drying by the fire's side; when ye would use
it, lay the fleshy side of it, with bladders of saffron, with a
cloth to your sore.
Pare the nails of one that hath the Quartan Ague, which, being put
into a linen cloth, and so tied about the neck of a quick eel, and
the same eel put into the water, thereby the ague will be driven
away.
It is certainly and constantly affirmed, that on Midsummer eve there
is found under the root of mugwort a coal which preserves and keeps
safe from the plague, carbuncle, lightning, the quartan ague, and
from burning, them that bear the same about them: and Mizaldus, the
writer hereof, saith that he doth hear that it is to be found the
same day under the root of plantane; which I know to be of truth,
for I have found them the same day under the root of plantane. It is
to be found at noon.
You shall stay the bleeding of the nose, if you write with the same
blood, in the forehead of the party that bleeds, these words
following, _Consummatum est_.
If one do buy Warts of them that have them, and give them a pin
therefor, if the party that hath the warts prick the same pin in
some garment that he wears daily and commonly, the wart or warts,
without doubt, will diminish and wear away privily, and be clear
gone in a short time.
If you take an oak apple from an oak tree, and in the same you shall
find a little worm, which if it doth fly away, it signifies wars; if
it creeps, it betokens scarcity of corn; if it run about, then it
foreshews the plague.
Whosoever eateth two walnuts, two figs, twenty leaves of rue, and
one grain of salt, all stamped and mixed together, fasting, shall be
safe from poison or plague that day; which antidote King Mithridates
had used so much, that when he drank poison purposely to kill
himself, it could not hurt him.
_From_ "THE ACCOMPLISHED GENTLEWOMAN'S COMPANION."
_To Cure the Toothache._—If a needle is run through a wood-louse,
and immediately touch the aching tooth with that needle, it will
cease to ache.
_To Cure the Jaundice._—Take a live Tench, slit it down the belly;
take out the guts, and clap the Tench to the stomach as fast as
possible, and it will cure immediately.
_From_ "NATURA EXENTERATA, OR NATURE UNBOWELLED."
_For the Falling Sicknesse._—Take the jaw bone of a man or a woman,
and beat it into fine powder, and if a woman have the falling
sicknesse, then use the jaw bone of the man; and if it be a man,
then use the jaw bone of the woman; so much of the powder as will
cover a sixpence, put it into wine or any other liquid thing which
you shall like of, and drink it; you may use it as often as you
will, but especially at spring and fall.
_For the Stone._—Take the blood of a Fox, and make it into powder,
and drink it in wine, and without doubt it shall destroy the stone;
and if you will not believe, take a stone and put it into the blood
of a fox, and it will break.
_For the Falling Evil._—Take the skull of a dead man, whereon moss
groweth, being taken and washed very clean, and dryed in an oven,
and then beaten to powder; the skull must be of one that hath been
slaine, or died suddenly, or of one that was hanged.
_To take a Corn out of the Toe._—Take a _black_ snail, roast it in a
_white_ cloth, and when it is roasted, lay it hot to the corn, and
it will take it away.
Before death this is a sign, if the tears run down of a man's right
eye, and a woman's left eye.