Spooks and gnomes, and all that be
Abroad upon weird Hallowe'en
When all the wizards may be seen
By naughty kids and grown-up folks
Who like to play most wicked jokes.
But good young girls and gentle boys,
The kids who are their mothers' joys,
They like the dark just as the light,
For spooks ne'er come within their sight,
And in their dreams the lovely elves
Show them bright scenes from fairy delves.
So, if to-night you are afraid
Of any spook or any shade,
Well know you are a naughty child,
So cross and wilful, rude and wild.
MY EASTER WISH
May flowers of JOY
At EASTER bloom
Within your heart,
Where weeds of gloom
Will fail to find
A place to grow
While JOY remains
As gloom-weeds' foe.
A WHINGWANG SONNET OF AN EASTER BONNET
Once there was a little girl,
But she didn't have a curl,
Though she had an Easter bonnet
With ostrich plumes and flowers on it,
Since like her mother she aspired
À la mode to be attired.
But when she rose on Easter morn
With deepest grief her heart was torn,
For, oh, alas! the rain was falling
In torrents great; to her appalling,
As well she knew 'twould spoil her bonnet
With ostrich plumes and flowers on it.
Her hair in papers she had worn
The whole night through and tortures borne
In hopes to have a curl or two
To wear beneath her bonnet new.
But now, alas, the horrid rain
Would make her hair all straight again.
And so with fear of straightened hair,
Which might cause folks to laugh and stare,
And likewise to protect her bonnet
With ostrich plumes and flowers on it,
She thought it best to stay away
From Sabbath school on Easter day.
MIDSUMMER JOYS
Give me the joys of summer,
Of SUMMER QUEEN so fair,
With wealth of lovely flowers
And fruits and sun-kissed air!
Talk not to me of winter
With ice and frost and snow,
Nor changing spring and autumn
When howling winds will blow.
No, I will take the joys
Of SUMMER every time,
So to this Queen of Seasons
I dedicate my rhyme.
AFTER THE FOURTH WAS OVER
After the Fourth was over, after the play was done,
Poor little John and Willie forgot that they'd had some fun;
John, with his eyes all bandaged, Willie with one eye gone,
Had changed from joyous boys, who rose with the FOURTH'S bright dawn,
Determined to shoot great cannons and frighten some silly girls,
To tie big crackers to dogs' tails, and make the pin wheels whirl.
Tommy with one hand bound up and with a bepowdered face,
Alex with two burned fingers and bones nearly all out of place;
Edgar with one leg broken and poor little Peter with two,
Thought that they'd had enough sorrow to last them a whole life through,
But Mother, who heard them crying, while soothing her darlings to sleep,
Was thankful that some of the pieces she yet was able to keep,
And sad for the weeping mother of poor naughty, unlucky Jim,
As the booming JULY CELEBRATION blew the whole head off of him.
TO MY VALENTINE
I love you now, and come what may,
I'll always love you night and day.
E'en should you grow both poor and old
And so unhappy that you'd scold;
My love for you would ne'er grow cold,
Because I truly love you.
If evil spirits come your way
And tempt you from straight paths to stray,
And every so-called loving friend
No helping hand to you would lend,
To me, dear friend, for help then send,
Because I truly love you.
THE WONDERLAND OF MATEMATIKO
[Written for my teacher, Professor A. R. Hornbrook, of the San Jose
Normal School.]
In MATEMATIKO, the wonderful land,
Ruled over by Giants, a most worthy band;
Where all live together in kindness and peace
While helping Earth's mortals whose works never cease.
And also I think that a strong helping hand
Is tendered Mars' children by this goodly band.
But if from these GIANTS their help we would seek
We should be very patient and humble and meek,
And go to their lands over roads smoothed in part
By labors of numerous foregoers' art.
Then back to the Daily-Life-Store-House to stay,
Bring all goodly treasures we found on our way.
The first province reached when we go to this land
Is ruled by ARITHMOS with firm kindly hand.
His regions are traveled by all little ones
When counting their candies or apples or buns;
Or when Baby's mother cuts apples in two
And gives him "one-half" and one-half to Sue,
His sister, who travels each day in the week
In realms of ARITHMOS for knowledge to seek.
The lands of ARITHMOS then being explored
And the wealth thereby gained being carefully stored,
Wise travelers go on following many a band
Of Pilgrims for Knowledge now seeking the land
Where if they search earnestly surely they'll find
TRUTHS known by QUEEN ALGEBRA, gracious and kind,
Whose roads are far shorter than Arithmos King owns
And freer from troublesome MAD-HASTY-STONES
That fall from MT. ERROR right down on our path
And so often cause us to court DEMON WRATH.
When first viewing GUIDE-BOOKS of ALGEBRA-LAND,
New travelers fear that they can't understand
The queer little figures and x, y's and z's
Mixed up with the numbers and a, b, c, d's.
But after becoming acquainted with these
Good Algebra-Helpers who help and who please,
All seekers for knowledge most gladly resolve
To use these assistants their problems to solve.
Not far from Queen Algebra's realms may be found
King GEOMETRÍO'S rich lands, which abound
With REASON'S clear rivers that flow everywhere,
While watering the EARTH and while cooling the air.
There are many high mountains where travelers will fall
Who heed not the warning that's given to all
By GEOMETRÍO, the giant benign,
Who near to the rugged cliffs puts up this sign--
"To all who are traveling--BEHOLD! now, TAKE HEED!
If walking, go slowly, be fearful of speed.
Be sure to inquire at my palace door
For smooth winding pathways trod often before;
But if you would ride in haste to the top
Then take my good auto which never will stop.
There's none like INTENSE CONCENTRATION, my car
Which carries you safely sans skidding or jar."
To travelers obeying this Giant's advice,
No "Haste-Wasting-Goblins" will ever entice
To climb ERROR'S MOUNTAIN from which they may fall
To SLOUGH of DESPOND that is dreaded by all;
Or maybe be led by VAIN CONFIDENCE ELVES
Through seeming short byways and flowery delves
To dread DOUBTING CASTLE where cruellest of fates
Through GIANT DESPAIR the traveler awaits.
In GEOMETRÍO'S most wondrous GUIDE-BOOKS
At first one is puzzled if he only looks
At Guides of this Giant who many forms wear,
Some angular figures and others quite square;
Some round like a bullet or like cubes or cones,
But each of these figures some great power owns.
And Geometrío will tell all who ask
How each may be used for a wonderful task--
As making dress patterns for ladies so fair;
Or likewise for ribbons to bind up their hair;
We meet them each day in the rugs at our feet,
And on the stone carvings we see in the street,
Are subjects of GEOMETRÍO'S wise land,
For their useful service we mortals demand.
Near Geometrío's broad regions there lies
The spacious rich country of GOOD GIANT WISE,
Broad-minded, and powerful builder and king,
TRIGONOMETRIO'S loud praises we sing.
From his brother "GEO" materials he takes
From which with his help frail mortal man makes
Tall wonderful buildings which, reaching so high,
We call them "sky-scrapers" as touching the sky.
He also builds churches, cathedrals and schools,
And beautiful mansions are formed by his rules,
Through knowledge man found in this great Giant's home
He has built wondrous spires and many a dome,
And bridges o'er rivers, and tunnels through rocks,
And e'en chained the waters with wonderful locks.
And now with his help a marvelous feat
Of great engineering will soon be complete
In building at Panama as you all know,
A wondrous canal by which we may go
From Father Atlantic to Pacific's sands
Without traveling over Mother Earth's lands.
Near ALGEBRA-LAND a great GIANT lives
And to earnest students much knowledge he gives,
'Tis good KALKULUSO, abstruse thinking King,
To him all astronomers loud praises sing,
For only through his aid they go to the fount
Of cause and effect that will teach them to count
The days that will pass before all men may see
A coming eclipse on the great STELLAR SEA,
Or comets, or new stars, or maybe new worlds,
To true knowledge seekers this Giant unfurls
Wide forecasting standards as things are to be
In days yet to come upon both land and sea,
And ever this Giant-Wise carries in hand
The banner of TRUTH which he floats o'er his land.
Now, some people say that the great GIANTS' lands
In MATEMATIKO are mere barren sands
Where all travelers find it so hard to advance,
But we who have had even this little glance
At these wondrous regions described by the pen
Of "INSTRUISTINO"[A] will go there again.
She gives us to guide us a good fairy's wand
Through MATEMATIKO to bright realms beyond.
This wand helps us journey so that we may see
Each road and each crossing and always may be
On straightest of pathways, the PERFECT TRUTH'S WAY,
From which glorious highway we never must stray,
For TRUTH leads to GOD in His bright realms above,
Surrounded by light of the INFINITE LOVE.
[Footnote A: My teacher in mathematics, Mrs. A. R. Hornbrook.]
EASTER GREETING
May EASTER RABBIT in your heart's nest
Lay the golden egg upon whose quest
All knights and ladies plain and fair,
Are seeking, seeking everywhere.
The longed-for GOLDEN EGG of PEACE,
Which makes all earthly woes to cease
By filling hearts with LOVE FOR OTHERS,
So self's forgot as we help our brothers.
A SKILLET IN SOCIETY (ALIAS A CHAFING DISH)
I heard my mother, just to-day, asking dear old dad
To buy her a nice chafing dish, and make her very glad;
Though he declared its cooking was a waste of alcohol.
Causing indigestion and perhaps a doctor's call.
I never saw a chafing dish and so I longed to know
How it looked and what 'twas for, and so and so and so;
But Mother would not answer and Daddy went away.
So I sought the kitchen, where Bridget holds her sway,
And asked her if she ever saw, since she began to cook,
A chafing dish on pantry shelf or pictured in a book?
Then Bridget turned her pug nose up with a "contemshus" air,
And gave a twist to her small knot of brick-dust colored hair,
And said, "A chafing dish, my dear, so says Miss B. Moriety,
Is but a common skillet pan that's got in High Society."
THE GIANT ARITHMOS
Great Jack the Giant Killer brave, he killed all giants bad,
But one good giant's life was saved by this bold warrior lad.
ARITHMOS was this giant great and all bright girls and boys
Should love the famous Giant-King far more than all their toys.
He's very old, and very great and also wondrous wise,
For he can count all things on earth and even tell their size.
He knows how many birds there are; how high each bird can fly,
But never does he boast or brag or stoop to tell a lie.
He is so tall that he can reach up to the starry sky
And count the stars and meteors bright as swiftly they go by.
'Tis he alone can tell you when a great eclipse will come
And darken the moon's lady or the old man in the sun.
He's always so good-natured and obliging to us all
And makes our number work mere play when for his aid we call.
He tells us just the number of ripe apples on a plate,
How far away Chicago is, and if the train be late.
In fact, he always answers us whene'er we ask "How many?"
And for his work and trouble never thinks to ask a penny.
All teachers and professors couldn't teach without his aid,
And men in every business know through him they will be paid.
We cannot sing in perfect tune, nor even play a drum,
Divide an apple, buy a doll, nor do the smallest sum;
And even BRIDGE by ladies fair cannot at all be played
Unless this mighty Giant-King will kindly lend his aid.
So, as we cannot get along without ARITHMOS-LORE,
We all should learn his wondrous truths and love him more and more.
THE PURE-BLOODED PUP
Once there was a little pup who lived in far-off Kent,
Where he was born some years ago in kennels of Lord Dent;
His mother was of purest blood and likewise was his pa,
So he arrived upon this earth without a single flaw.
His tail was just the proper size and so was each small ear,
His shapely legs and nose and paws, they pleased his mother dear;
And with her soft and scarlet tongue she kissed her baby pup,
And loved him, oh, so dearly that she almost ate him up.
The keeper of the kennels when he saw this terrier pup,
Declared, "It's just a beauty and will surely win 'THE CUP,'
For being a fox terrier of very purest breed,
And now to my dear master I'll go with greatest speed.
"And tell him of this puppy who will bring our kennels fame,
And ask him what he thinks will be a truly proper name
For the most perfect terrier that ever came to Kent;
It seems to me he should be called for my great master 'Dent.'"
The master when he heard the news that a new pup had come,
Left off his game of playing cards and drinking pints of rum,
And hastened to the kennels to behold the wondrous pup,
Who at the coming dog show was to win the great prize cup.
The mother dog she wagged her tail, with pride she was puffed up,
As her great master stood right near and smiled upon her pup,
While saying, "Higgens, listen well to what I have to say,
And care for this good mother dog and her fine pup each day.
"I'll name him for my ancestor, the great and famous Kent,
And in that name to the dog show next year he shall be sent,
Where I am sure he'll win the prize above all others there,
For he is perfect in his shape and has fine silky hair."
So little Kent was tended well and petted every day,
He never had to seek for bones and only had to play,
And having nothing else to do on mischief he was bent,
Was this aristocratic pup, owned by the great Lord Dent.
And when a year had passed around, one day the master came
To take him to the London show, where he would win great fame;
But Kent was very naughty, as he did not wish to go
Away from his good kennel home to any prize dog show.
At last his master whipped Pup Kent and, oh, but he did swear,
Because Kent snapped at Higgens, who was combing his fine hair
And putting on a collar with a chain of golden beads;
Such ornaments Kent could not see that any puppy needs.
At last the royal pup was dressed in pupdom regal style,
And drove in a fine carriage, oh, for many a weary mile,
Until he came to London town, where nothing he could see,
Because all things were hidden with a fog as thick as could be.
Before he'd even time to think, this 'ristocratic pup,
He found himself in a small cage with all the doors shut up,
And many men were standing round and gazing long at him,
While passing comments on his shape of head, and tail, and limb.
Kent glared at them in silence and he would not wag his tail,
In fact, just like a good young boy who might be put in jail
When he had never done a thing to break the country's law,
So felt this little terrier, this pup without a flaw.
And when the judges thought that he should have the ribbon blue
Because of his most perfect blood shown by the records true,
He snapped and barked and even bit at those who came quite near
To tie the lovely ribbon on the neck of "PUPPY DEAR."
So they decided that despite his wondrous pedigree
There yet was something in his blood that ought not there to be,
And gave the prize, a silver cup, to a more common dog,
Who lay so still and quiet that he might have been a log.
But when that evening our Lord Dent beheld with great surprise
That a less blooded terrier had won the noble prize,
He felt so very angry that he wished to beat Pup Kent,
And ordered that the beastly dog should quickly home be sent.
But while poor Kent was going home so sad and in disgrace,
He got away from Higgens and he found another place
Far, far away from kennels of the great and wealthy Dent,
Near to a peaceful village, the runaway he went.
Here he lay down so tired and thought of many a bone,
Which now was being gnawed each day by his good ma alone,
Since Kent, her darling puppy boy, was, oh, so far away,
Oh, how he wished to gnaw a bone with his good ma this day!
But as he lay a-dreaming of lovely things to eat,
Quite suddenly a large gray rat ran right across his feet,
And after it there followed an Irishman named Pat,
Who sought to make a timely end of bad old Mister Rat.
Big Pat was armed with a huge club and called to his old dog,
"Now, come along, ye lazy baste, before he's in the bog!"
Then Kent he jumped and in one bound he seized poor Mister Rat,
Shook him about till he was dead and then brought him to Pat.
Big Pat he gazed in wonder at the clever little dog,
And sitting down upon a large and green, moss covered log,
Said, "Shure, ye bate this lazy hound that kennot catch a rat,
And if ye'll stay right here, me boy, I'll trate ye well," says Pat.
Then proudly Kent he wagged his tail and tried so hard to smile
Upon the good old Irishman, who patted him a while,
Then coaxed the stranger after him right through a broad green lane,
Which led to the fine country home of good Sir Michael Kane.
And here Pat introduced the pup to all the family,
And they were all so very kind as any folks could be.
They patted his soft silky hair and praised him to the sky,
And gave him a big gravy dish all filled with nice meat pie,
And likewise a huge saucer, which was full of real sweet cream,
Which made the hungry doggie think that he was in a dream.
So here Dog Kent decided was the best place for to dwell,
And here he still is living and is feeling' very well.
He goes each morning to the barn and helps his good friend Pat
To catch the naughty rodents, who are called the name of RAT.
The cook she feeds him daily, and he captures all the mice,
Which love to haunt the kitchen of the cleanly Bridget Bryce.
While little Mikey loves dear Kent far more than all his toys,
And says that he'd rather play with him than any girls or boys,
Because he never minds a bit to jump right in the pond
And bring to land a stick or stone or weeping willow wand.
He always acts politely to all who may come near,
And so all strangers pet him and think he is a dear.
They like his soft and silky hair, which proves he has good blood,
And never does he make folks mad by tracking floors with mud.
He's wiser than most common dogs, whose hair is rough and coarse,
His bark is always pleasant, and 'tis never loud nor hoarse;
He's swifter also than slow dogs who cannot catch a rat,
Because they always eat too much and get so very fat.
MORAL:
This story proves that good, pure blood is a fine thing to own,
But it can't help the puppies or the children all alone,
Unless these youthful puppies and the children, very small,
Learn to keep quite busy and to have a smile for all.
A KITTEN GONE TO WASTE
When little Mary Alice was only three years old,
She went upon a visit to Aunt Maria Hold,
A lady who was noted for saving everything,
From gold and silver dollars down to a turkey wing.
She soon taught Mary Alice to never throw away
A single bit of anything which might be used "some day,"
And Alice, who was clever, soon learned to put away
All bits of ribbon, cloth and lace, and chicken feathers gay.
Each day she kept quite busy hunting something more
Which she could take to Auntie or add to her own store;
And one day in excitement, she ran in great haste,
Crying, "Oh, dear Auntie, sumfin's don to waste!
A perfectlee dood kitty is thrown out on the dump
Of the kitchen ash-pile, behind the garden pump."
PRIDE
The Bible says that pride's the cause of people falling down,
And an example of this truth I once saw in our town,
When we were driving on the street and watching passers-by.
From out a store stepped a fine dude, all dressed in silk hat high,
And pants so tight he could not take a single manly stride,
His mustache curled, and round his neck a ribbon pink and wide,
While in his hand a gold-head cane, which he twirled round and round,
So that the people all would know a great man was in town;
But, being filled with pride of self, he did not know his heel
Had come in contact with a part of a banana peel
Until it felled him to the earth and smashed his silk hat's crown,
And even then he did not know 'twas PRIDE that knocked him down.
JOB SMARTER THAN MODERN BABIES
"Mother," said Lida, "why can't brother speak,
Is he so stupid or only just weak,
Like poor ancient Grandma, when she has a cold,
And loses her voice so she can't even scold?"
"No, darling," said Mother, "your brother can't talk,
Eat sugar candy, nor even yet walk,
As he is a baby the size of your doll,
And babies can't talk when they are so small."
"Then, Mother," said Lida, "the kids nowadays
Are not half so smart in all of their ways
As babies who lived in the long, long ago,
For dear teacher told me (so, course it is so),
That Job in the Bible cursed the day he was born,
I 'spose like big Tom, when he can't play his horn."
THE NEW YEAR BABE
The "New Year Babe" is always hailed with shouts of greatest joy,
Though no one seems to really know if it's a girl or boy.
Good Mother Earth opes wide her arms and takes the baby in
While big and little people help to raise an awful din.
And just as soon as "New Year Babe" has made its grand début,
Then all the folks make big resolves and say what they will do
Before the Baby Year has grown quite old and worn with time,
When it must leave us while the bells for a new year will chime.
But all resolves are very hard to always keep in mind,
And somehow they get broken and the pieces we can't find;
So that when "Baby New Year" grows hoary with old age,
We're glad to turn a fresh new leaf and close our last year's page.
NERVOUS JELLY
One day when there was company, wee greedy Lillie May
Took the jelly nearly all when it was passed her way;
And in great haste she ate it up with her small silver spoon,
But oh, alas, the Piggiewig! she was discovered soon
By Mother, who was greatly shocked to see her naughty elf
Eating like a greedy boy from off the kitchen shelf.
But Mother couldn't scold aloud for fear the guests would hear,
And so she softly whispered, "Don't eat that way, my dear."
Then Mrs. Dean, the company, she patted Lillie's head,
And smiling at the jellied face, she to the culprit said,
"I've always liked the jelly good which makes my bread so sweet,
And surely it tastes better still when with a spoon we eat
This lovely, wobbling dainty, which is loved by one and all,
From little girls and tiny boys to great men, large and tall."
This speech encouraged little May, who nodded her wise head
And said, "Besides dis jelly is too nervous for to spread."
A BOY WHO WAS HERO AND VILLAIN
One day in a big meeting held by a MERCY BAND,
The leader asked each little boy to hold up his right hand
If he could tell of any deed of kindness he had done
In saving some poor animal or helping any one.
Then Ernest held his hand on high and pride suffused his face,
As from his seat he quickly rose and took the speaker's place,
While speaking loud in accents clear, "I saved a little pup
Who had his tail in a tin can all tied securely up.
I took the can from off his tail and made him bark with joy.
So Mother said and so said Dad--I was a darling boy."
"And so say I," the leader said, while calling him her "DEAR,"
"But how I wish the wicked boy who did the deed were here."
ERNEST:
"Well, here he is, for I'm the boy who did that deed as well,
So I could take the tin can off and of my goodness tell."
AUTOS CHANGE GOOD LUCK
Poor Uncle Zeke, he's very sad, and says the whole world's wrong,
For when he was a little boy it was a common song,
To sing about the luck which came from finding a horseshoe,
And in those good old lucky days the sign was always true.
But Sunday when poor Uncle Zeke was walking on the street,
He saw a lucky horseshoe which was lying at his feet,
And as he stooped to seize the prize which lay before him there,
Along an automobile came and whizzed him in the air.
To-day I saw him lying still and pale upon his couch,
And oh, my goodness gracious, but he had an awful grouch!
His hands and arms in bandages were tied securely up,
And on his forehead was a bump like Aunt Mariah's cup.
He told me I should listen well and take his counsel sage,
And never try to get good luck in this fierce auto age,
By picking up a horse's shoe in street or country road
No more than I would stoop to seize a common green back toad.
MY CHRISTMAS WISH
When gladly ring the Christmas chimes,
Then come our reminiscent times
And even cold hearts--slow to beat--
Feel something of the love thought heat
That emanates from one and all
And to our far off loved ones call.
Then YOU must feel all through and through
The tingling of my thoughts of you.
These are my messengers so true
Who bear this message, "I love you,
And wish you on this Christmas day
A joyful heart that comes to stay,
Not only for a day or two,
But for your whole life's journey through."
A BOY'S DESCRIPTION OF A GOAT