The college is a coy maid--
She has a habit quaint
Of making eyes at millionaires
And winking at the taint.
--_Judge_.
"What is a 'faculty'?"
"A 'faculty' is a body of men surrounded by red tape."--_Cornell Widow_.
Yale University is to have a ton of fossils. Whether for the faculty or
for the museums is not announced.--_The Atlanta Journal_.
FIRST TRUSTEE--"But this ancient institution of learning will fail
unless something is done."
SECOND TRUSTEE--"True; but what can we do? We have already raised the
tuition until it is almost 1 per cent of the fraternity fees."--_Puck_.
The president of the university had dark circles under his eyes. His
cheek was pallid; his lips were trembling; he wore a hunted expression.
"You look ill," said his wife. "What is wrong, dear?"
"Nothing much," he replied. "But--I--I had a fearful dream last night,
and I feel this morning as if I--as if I--" It was evident that his
nervous system was shattered.
"What was the dream?" asked his wife.
"I--I--dreamed the trustees required that--that I should--that I should
pass the freshman examination for--admission!" sighed the president.