[Footnote 1: amongst]
[Footnote 2: Occasions]
[Footnote 3: A small Spa, in Northamptonshire, upon the Oxford border.
From Astrop to Bath the scale of fashion rises.]
[Footnote 4: Bury Fair and Epsom Wells gave titles to two of Shadwell's
Comedies.]
* * * * *
No. I55. [1] Tuesday, August 28, 1711. Steele.
'... Hæ nugæ seria ducunt
In mala ...'
Hor.
I have more than once taken Notice of an indecent Licence taken in
Discourse, wherein the Conversation on one Part is involuntary, and the
Effect of some necessary Circumstance. This happens in travelling
together in the same hired Coach, sitting near each other in any publick
Assembly, or the like. I have, upon making Observations of this sort,
received innumerable Messages from that Part of the Fair Sex whose Lot
in Life is to be of any Trade or publick Way of Life. They are all to a
Woman urgent with me to lay before the World the unhappy Circumstances
they are under, from the unreasonable Liberty which is taken in their
Presence, to talk on what Subject it is thought fit by every Coxcomb who
wants Understanding or Breeding. One or two of these Complaints I shall
set down.
_Mr_. SPECTATOR,
'I Keep a Coffee-house, and am one of those whom you have thought fit
to mention as an Idol some time ago. I suffered a good deal of
Raillery upon that Occasion; but shall heartily forgive you, who are
the Cause of it, if you will do me Justice in another Point. What I
ask of you, is, to acquaint my Customers (who are otherwise very good
ones) that I am unavoidably hasped in my Bar, and cannot help hearing
the improper Discourses they are pleased to entertain me with. They
strive who shall say the most immodest Things in my Hearing: At the
same time half a dozen of them loll at the Bar staring just in my
Face, ready to interpret my Looks and Gestures according to their own
Imaginations. In this passive Condition I know not where to cast my
Eyes, place my Hands, or what to employ my self in: But this Confusion
is to be a Jest, and I hear them say in the End, with an Air of Mirth
and Subtlety, Let her alone, she knows as well as we, for all she
looks so. Good Mr. SPECTATOR, persuade Gentlemen that it is out of all
Decency: Say it is possible a Woman may be modest and yet keep a
Publick-house. Be pleased to argue, that in truth the Affront is the
more unpardonable because I am oblig'd to suffer it, and cannot fly
from it. I do assure you, Sir, the Chearfulness of Life which would
arise from the honest Gain I have, is utterly lost to me, from the
endless, flat, impertinent Pleasantries which I hear from Morning to
Night. In a Word, it is too much for me to bear, and I desire you to
acquaint them, that I will keep Pen and Ink at the Bar, and write down
all they say to me, and send it to you for the Press. It is possible
when they see how empty what they speak, without the Advantage of an
impudent Countenance and Gesture, will appear, they may come to some
Sense of themselves, and the Insults they are guilty of towards me. I
am, _SIR_,
_Your most humble Servant_,
_The_ Idol.
This Representation is so just, that it is hard to speak of it without
an Indignation which perhaps would appear too elevated to such as can be
guilty of this inhuman Treatment, where they see they affront a modest,
plain, and ingenuous Behaviour. This Correspondent is not the only
Sufferer in this kind, for I have long Letters both from the _Royal_ and
_New Exchange_ on the same Subject. They tell me that a young Fop cannot
buy a Pair of Gloves, but he is at the same time straining for some
Ingenious Ribaldry to say to the young Woman who helps them on. It is no
small Addition to the Calamity, that the Rogues buy as hard as the
plainest and modestest Customers they have; besides which, they loll
upon their Counters half an Hour longer than they need, to drive away
other Customers, who are to share their Impertinencies with the
Milliner, or go to another Shop. Letters from _'Change-Alley_ are full
of the same Evil, and the Girls tell me except I can chase some eminent
Merchants from their Shops they shall in a short time fail. It is very
unaccountable, that Men can have so little Deference to all Mankind who
pass by them, as to bear being seen toying by two's and three's at a
time, with no other Purpose but to appear gay enough to keep up a light
Conversation of Common-place Jests, to the Injury of her whose Credit is
certainly hurt by it, tho' their own may be strong enough to bear it.
When we come to have exact Accounts of these Conversations, it is not to
be doubted but that their Discourses will raise the usual Stile of
buying and selling: Instead of the plain downright lying, and asking and
bidding so unequally to what they will really give and take, we may hope
to have from these fine Folks an Exchange of Compliments. There must
certainly be a great deal of pleasant Difference between the Commerce of
Lovers, and that of all other Dealers, who are, in a kind, Adversaries.
A sealed Bond, or a Bank-Note, would be a pretty Gallantry to convey
unseen into the Hands of one whom a Director is charmed with; otherwise
the City-Loiterers are still more unreasonable than those at the other
End of the Town: At the _New Exchange_ they are eloquent for want
of Cash, but in the City they ought with Cash to supply their want of
Eloquence.
If one might be serious on this prevailing Folly, one might observe,
that it is a melancholy thing, when the World is mercenary even to the
buying and selling our very Persons, that young Women, tho' they have
never so great Attractions from Nature, are never the nearer being
happily disposed of in Marriage; I say, it is very hard under this
Necessity, it shall not be possible for them to go into a way of Trade
for their Maintenance, but their very Excellencies and personal
Perfections shall be a Disadvantage to them, and subject them to be
treated as if they stood there to sell their Persons to Prostitution.
There cannot be a more melancholy Circumstance to one who has made any
Observation in the World, than one of those erring Creatures exposed to
Bankruptcy. When that happens, none of these toying Fools will do any
more than any other Man they meet to preserve her from Infamy, Insult,
and Distemper. A Woman is naturally more helpless than the other Sex;
and a Man of Honour and Sense should have this in his View in all Manner
of Commerce with her. Were this well weighed, Inconsideration, Ribaldry,
and Nonsense, would not be more natural to entertain Women with than
Men; and it would be as much Impertinence to go into a Shop of one of
these young Women without buying, as into that of any other Trader. I
shall end this Speculation with a Letter I have received from a pretty
Milliner in the City.
Mr. SPECTATOR,
'I have read your Account of Beauties, and was not a little surprized
to find no Character of my self in it. I do assure you I have little
else to do but to give Audience as I am such. Here are Merchants of no
small Consideration, who call in as certainly as they go to _'Change_,
to say something of my roguish Eye: And here is one who makes me once
or twice a Week tumble over all my Goods, and then owns it was only a
Gallantry to see me act with these pretty Hands; then lays out three
Pence in a little Ribbon for his Wrist-bands, and thinks he is a Man
of great Vivacity. There is an ugly Thing not far off me, whose Shop
is frequented only by People of Business, that is all Day long as busy
as possible. Must I that am a Beauty be treated with for nothing but
my Beauty? Be pleased to assign Rates to my kind Glances, or make all
pay who come to see me, or I shall be undone by my Admirers for want
of Customers. _Albacinda_, _Eudosia_, and all the rest would be used
just as we are, if they were in our Condition; therefore pray consider
the Distress of us the lower Order of Beauties, and I shall be
_Your obliged humble Servant._