[Footnote 1: a Young]
* * * * *
No. 154. Monday, August 27, 1711. Steele.
'Nemo repente fuit turpissimus ...'
Juv.
_Mr_. SPECTATOR,
'You are frequent in the mention of Matters which concern the feminine
World, and take upon you to be very severe against Men upon all those
Occasions: But all this while I am afraid you have been very little
conversant with Women, or you would know the generality of them are
not so angry as you imagine at the general Vices [among [1]] us. I am
apt to believe (begging your Pardon) that you are still what I my self
was once, a queer modest Fellow; and therefore, for your Information,
shall give you a short Account of my self, and the Reasons why I was
forced to wench, drink, play, and do every thing which are necessary
to the Character of a Man of Wit and Pleasure, to be well with the
Ladies.
You are to know then that I was bred a Gentleman, and had the
finishing Part of my Education under a Man of great Probity, Wit, and
Learning, in one of our Universities. I will not deny but this made my
Behaviour and Mein bear in it a Figure of Thought rather than Action;
and a Man of a quite contrary Character, who never thought in his
Life, rallied me one Day upon it, and said, He believed I was still a
Virgin. There was a young Lady of Virtue present, and I was not
displeased to favour the Insinuation; but it had a quite contrary
Effect from what I expected. I was ever after treated with great
Coldness both by that Lady and all the rest of my Acquaintance. In a
very little time I never came into a Room but I could hear a Whisper,
Here comes the Maid: A Girl of Humour would on some [Occasion [2]]
say, Why, how do you know more than any of us? An Expression of that
kind was generally followed by a loud Laugh: In a word, for no other
Fault in the World than that they really thought me as innocent as
themselves, I became of no Consequence among them, and was received
always upon the Foot of a Jest. This made so strong an Impression upon
me, that I resolved to be as agreeable as the best of the Men who
laugh'd at me; but I observed it was Nonsense for me to be Impudent at
first among those who knew me: My Character for Modesty was so
notorious wherever I had hitherto appeared, that I resolved to shew my
new Face in new Quarters of the World. My first Step I chose with
Judgment; for I went to _Astrop_, [3] and came down among a Crowd of
Academicks, at one Dash, the impudentest Fellow they had ever seen in
their Lives. Flushed with this Success, I made Love and was happy.
Upon this Conquest I thought it would be unlike a Gentleman to stay
longer with my Mistress, and crossed the Country to _Bury:_ I could
give you a very good Account of my self at that Place also. At these
two ended my first Summer of Gallantry. The Winter following, you
would wonder at it, but I relapsed into Modesty upon coming among
People of Figure in _London_, yet not so much but that the Ladies who
had formerly laughed at me, said, Bless us! how wonderfully that
Gentleman is improved? Some Familiarities about the Play-houses
towards the End of the ensuing Winter, made me conceive new Hopes of
Adventures; and instead of returning the next Summer to _Astrop_ or
_Bury_, [4] I thought my self qualified to go to _Epsom_, and followed
a young Woman, whose Relations were jealous of my Place in her Favour,
to _Scarborough_. I carried my Point, and in my third Year aspired to
go to _Tunbridge_, and in the Autumn of the same Year made my
Appearance at _Bath_. I was now got into the Way of Talk proper for
Ladies, and was run into a vast Acquaintance among them, which I
always improved to the _best Advantage_. In all this Course of Time,
and some Years following, I found a sober modest Man was always looked
upon by both Sexes as a precise unfashioned Fellow of no Life or
Spirit. It was ordinary for a Man who had been drunk in good Company,
or passed a Night with a Wench, to speak of it next Day before Women
for whom he had the greatest Respect. He was reproved, perhaps, with a
Blow of the Fan, or an Oh Fie, but the angry Lady still preserved an
apparent Approbation in her Countenance: He was called a strange
wicked Fellow, a sad Wretch; he shrugs his Shoulders, swears, receives
another Blow, swears again he did not know he swore, and all was well.
You might often see Men game in the Presence of Women, and throw at
once for more than they were worth, to recommend themselves as Men of
Spirit. I found by long Experience that the loosest Principles and
most abandoned Behaviour, carried all before them in Pretensions to
Women of Fortune. The Encouragement given to People of this Stamp,
made me soon throw off the remaining Impressions of a sober Education.
In the above-mentioned Places, as well as in Town, I always kept
Company with those who lived most at large; and in due Process of Time
I was a pretty Rake among the Men, and a very pretty Fellow among the
Women. I must confess, I had some melancholy Hours upon the Account of
the Narrowness of my Fortune, but my Conscience at the same time gave
me the Comfort that I had qualified my self for marrying a Fortune.
When I had lived in this manner for some time, and became thus
accomplished, I was now in the twenty seventh Year of my Age, and
about the Forty seventh of my Constitution, my Health and Estate
wasting very fast; when I happened to fall into the Company of a very
pretty young Lady in her own Disposal. I entertained the Company, as
we Men of Gallantry generally do, with the many Haps and Disasters,
Watchings under Windows, Escapes from jealous Husbands, and several
other Perils. The young Thing was wonderfully charmed with one that
knew the World so well, and talked so fine; with _Desdemona_, all her
Lover said affected her; _it was strange,'twas wondrous strange_. In a
word, I saw the Impression I had made upon her, and with a very little
Application the pretty Thing has married me. There is so much Charm in
her Innocence and Beauty, that I do now as much detest the Course I
have been in for many Years, as I ever did before I entred into it.
What I intend, Mr. SPECTATOR, by writing all this to you, is that you
would, before you go any further with your Panegyricks on the Fair
Sex, give them some Lectures upon their silly Approbations. It is that
I am weary of Vice, and that it was not my natural Way, that I am now
so far recovered as not to bring this believing dear Creature to
Contempt and Poverty for her Generosity to me. At the same time tell
the Youth of good Education of our Sex, that they take too little Care
of improving themselves in little things: A good Air at entring into a
Room, a proper Audacity in expressing himself with Gaiety and
Gracefulness, would make a young Gentleman of Virtue and Sense capable
of discountenancing the shallow impudent Rogues that shine among the
Women.
Mr. SPECTATOR, I don't doubt but you are a very sagacious Person, but
you are so great with _Tully_ of late, that I fear you will contemn
these Things as Matters of no Consequence: But believe me, Sir, they
are of the highest Importance to Human Life; and if you can do any
thing towards opening fair Eyes, you will lay an Obligation upon all
your Contemporaries who are Fathers, Husbands, or Brothers to Females.
_Your most affectionate humble Servant,_
Simon Honeycomb.