* * * * *
A parson in London, England, has been unfrocked for kissing a servant
girl. This smacks of intolerance.
* * * * *
=Give It Up=
If big feet, knock-knees and bow legs won’t make a girl wear long
skirts, what chance has modesty?
* * * * *
=An Ambition=
_I’ve mortgaged the house and mortgaged the cow,
And mortgaged the things that are,
And all the things I expect to have,
To purchase a motor car.
And when I first roll out in it
My joy will be sublime
If I can run over my brother-in-law
And get away in time._
* * * * *
A man in Brandon, the other day, was fined one thousand dollars for
selling a bottle of whiskey, and a man in Humboldt, found guilty of
seduction, was let off on suspended sentence. Uplift is making great
advances.
* * * * *
Clothing dealers think that it’s all over with the overall.
* * * * *
The man who does not possess a private cellar is in a fair way to
possess a private cell.
* * * * *
Bohemia! Bohemia! The world of hopes and fears, Of themes and dreams and
cigarettes, free lunches, beers and tears.
* * * * *
=A recruiting officer says soldiers make good husbands because all they
want is plenty to eat and beans once a week. Hm! And we imagined beans
were something to eat.=
* * * * *
=A Good Excuse=
Flooterpush gazed sadly upon Jane Emily the handmaiden.
“Jane Emily,” said he, severely pointing to a half-empty bottle of the
fluid which cheers and occasionally inebriates, “somebody’s been at this
whiskey.”
“Well, I’ve never touched your whiskey,” retorted the girl.
“Are you sure, Jane Emily?”
“Sure! O’ course I’m sure! Why, the blessed cork wouldn’t come out!”
* * * * *
=My Hosiery, My Hosiery=
Silk stockings coming down, is the joyful scream that hits up from the
headlines.
’Smatter, garters going up?
* * * * *
See where the girls are putting wings on their slippers. That ought to
speed up the high flyers.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
“=_Friendly Insults_”=