Q. Not now, not now.--You say you have learned by this time many of the
customs of the country?
A. Oh, yes, sir! I can dress myself, and wash my face (though perhaps
not in a manner quite above criticism), count the change which the
grocer gives me, tell the time by a clock, say “Yes, ma’am” and “Thank
you”--and I am beginning to be adept in the great national game of
baseball.
Q. Have you decided what you would do if you were permitted to take
part in our adult activities?
A. I would like to be a truck-driver.
Q. Why?
A. Because he can whip the big horses.
Q. Do you know anything about machinery?
A. No, sir; I knew a boy who had a steam-engine, but he moved away
before I got a chance to see how it worked.
Q. You spoke of truck-driving just now. Do you know where the
truck-driver is going with his load?
A. No, sir.
Q. Do you know where he came from?
A. No, sir.
Q. Do you know what a factory is?
A. Yes, sir; Jim’s father got three fingers cut off in a factory.
Q. Do you know where the sun rises and sets?
A. It rises in the East and sets in the West.
Q. How does it get from the West back to the East during the night?
A. It goes under the earth.
Q. How?
A. It digs a tunnel!
Q. What does it dig the tunnel with?
A. With its claws.
Q. Who was George Washington?
A. He was the Father of his country, and he never told a lie.
Q. Would you like to be a soldier?
A. Yes.
Q. If we let you take part in the government of our country, what
ticket would you vote?
A. The Republican ticket. My father is a Republican.
Q. What would you do if you had ten cents?
A. I’d go to see Charley Chaplin in the moving-picture show.
Q. Thank you. You can step down.
A. Yes, sir. Where is my ten cents?
And now, gentlemen, you have heard the witness. He has told the
truth--and nothing but the truth--and he would have told the whole
truth if I had not been vigilant in defence of your modesty. He is, as
he says, a foreigner, incompletely naturalized. In certain directions
his development has proceeded rapidly. He shows a patriotism and a
sense of political principles which are quite as mature as most of
ours. But in other directions there is much to be desired. He does not
know what kind of world it is he lives in, nor has he any knowledge of
how he could best take his place, with the most satisfaction to himself
and his fellow-men, in that world--whether as farmer or engineer, poet
or policeman, or in the humbler but none the less necessary capacities
of dustman or dramatic critic.
It would be idle for us to pretend that we think it will be easy for
him to learn all this. But without this knowledge he is going to
be a nuisance--not without a certain charm (indeed, I know several
individuals who have remained children all their lives, and they are
the most delightful of companions for an idle hour), but still, by
reason of incapacity and irresponsibility, an undesirable burden upon
the community: unable to support himself, and simply not to be trusted
in the responsible relations of marriage and parenthood. We simply
can’t let him remain in his present state of ignorance.
And yet, how is he ever going to be taught? You have seen just about
how far private enterprise is likely to help him. That man and woman of
whom he told us have other things to do besides teach him. And if he is
turned over to special private institutions, we have no guarantee that
they will not take advantage of his helplessness, keep him under their
control and rob him of freedom of movement for a long term of years,
set him to learning a mass of fabulous or irrelevant information,
instil in him a fictitious sense of its value by a system of prizes and
punishments, and finally turn him out into our world no better prepared
to take his proper part in it than he was before; and thus, having
wasted his own time, he would have to waste ours by compelling us to
teach him all over again.
In fact, the difficulty of dealing with him appears so great that I am
moved to make the statesmanlike proposal--never before, I believe,
presented to the public--of passing a law which will prevent this kind
of undesirable immigration altogether.
Shall we abolish the Child?
The only other reasonable alternative is for us to undertake this
difficult and delicate business of education ourselves--assume as a
public responsibility the provision of a full opportunity for this
helpless, wistful, stubborn little barbarian to find out about the
world and about himself. Well, shall we do that?
Let us not allow any false sentimentality to affect our decision....
The vote seems to be in favour of giving him his chance. Very well!