In all states of Europe, there are a set of men who assume from
their infancy a pre-eminence independent of their moral character.
The attention paid to them from the moment of their birth, gives
them the idea that they are formed for command, and they soon
learn to consider themselves a distinct species: and, being secure
of a certain rank and station, take no pains to makes themselves
worthy of it.--RAYNAL.
It is now time to make my reader acquainted with my new ship and
new captain. The first was a frigate of the largest class, built on
purpose to cope with the large double-banked frigates of the Yankees.
She carried thirty long twenty-four pounders on her main deck, and the
same number of forty-two pound carronades on her quarter-gangways and
forecastle.
I had been a week on board, doing duty during the day and flirting on
shore, at Mr Somerville's, at Blackheath, during the evening. I had
seen no captain yet, and the first lieutenant had gone on shore one
morning to stretch his legs. I was commanding officer; the people were
all at their dinner; it was a drizzling soft rain, and I was walking
the quarter-deck by myself, when a shore-boat came alongside with a
person in plain clothes. I paid him no attention, supposing him to be
a wine merchant, or a slop-seller, come to ask permission to serve the
ship. The stranger looked at the dirty man-ropes, which the side-boys
held off to him, and inquired if there was not a clean pair? The lad
replied in the negative; and the stranger perceiving there was no
remedy, took hold of the dirty ropes and ascended the side.
Reaching the quarter-deck, he come up to me, and showing a pair of
sulphur-coloured gloves, bedaubed with tar and dirt, angrily observed,
"By G----, Sir, I have spoiled a new pair of gloves."
"I always take my gloves off when I come up the side," said I.
"But I choose to keep mine on," said the stranger. "And why could not
I have had a pair of clean ropes?"
"Because," said I, "my orders are only to give them when the side is
piped."
"And why was not the side piped for me, Sir?"
"Because, Sir, we never pipe the side until we know who it is for."
"As sure as I shall sit in the House of Peers, I will report you to
your captain for this," said he.
"We only pipe the side for officers in uniform," said I; "and I am yet
to learn by what right you demand that honour."
"I am, Sir," said he (showing his card), "...., &c. Do you know me
now?"
"Yes, Sir," said I, "as a gentleman; but until I see you in a
captain's uniform, I cannot give you the honours you demand:" as I
said this, I touched my hat respectfully.
"Then, Sir," said he, "as sure as I shall sit in the House of Peers, I
shall let you know more of this:" and having asked whether the captain
was on board, and received an answer in the negative, he turned round
and went down the side into his boat, without giving me an opportunity
of supplying him with a pair of clean ropes. He pulled away for the
shore, and I never heard any thing more of the dirty ropes and soiled
gloves.
This officer, I afterwards learned, was in the habit of interlarding
his discourse with this darling object of his ambition; but as he is
now a member of the Upper House, it is to be supposed he has exchanged
the affidavit for some other. While he commanded a ship, he used to
say, "As sure as I shall sit in the House of Peers, I will flog
you, my man;" and when this denunciation had passed his lips, the
punishment was never remitted. With us, the reverse of this became our
bye-word; lieutenants, midshipmen, sailors and marines, asserted their
claim to veracity by saying, "As sure as I shall _not_ sit in the
House of Peers."
This was the noble lord, who when in the command of one of his
Majesty's ships in China, employed a native of that country to take
his portrait. The resemblance not having been flattering, the artist
was sharply rebuked by his patron. The poor man replied, "Ai awe,
master, how can handsome face make if handsome face no have got?" This
story has, like many other good stories, been pirated, and applied to
other cases; but I claim it as the legitimate property of the navy,
and can vouch for its origin as I have related.
My messmates dropped in one after another until our number was
completed; and at length a note, in an envelope addressed to the first
lieutenant "on service," and marked on the lower left hand corner with
the name of the noble writer, announced that our captain would make
his appearance on the following day. We were of course prepared to
receive him in our full uniforms with our cocked hats and swords, with
the marine guard under arms. He came alongside at half-past twelve
o'clock, when the men were at dinner, an unusual hour to select, as
it is not the custom ever to disturb them at their meals if it can
be avoided. He appeared in a sort of undress frock coat, fall down
collar, anchor buttons, no epaulettes, and a lancer's cap, with a
broad gold band.
This was not correct, but as he was a lord, he claimed privilege, and
on this rock of privilege we found afterwards that he always perched
himself on every occasion. We were all presented to him; and to each
he condescended to give a nod. His questions were all confined to the
first lieutenant, and all related to his own comforts. "Where is my
steward to lie? where is my valet to sleep? where is my cow-pen? and
where are my sheep to be?" We discovered when he had been one hour in
our company, that his noble self was the god of his idolatry. As
for the details of the ship and her crew, masts, rigging, stowage,
provisions, the water she would carry, and how much she drew, they
were subjects on which he never fatigued his mind.
One hour having expired since he had come on board, he ordered his
boat, and returned to the shore, and we saw no more of him until we
arrived at Spithead, when his lordship came on board, accompanied by
a person whom we soon discovered was a half pay purser in the navy:
a man who, by dint of the grossest flattery and numerous little
attentions, had so completely ingratiated himself with his patron,
that he had become as necessary an appendage to the travelling
equipage, as the portmanteau or the valet-de-chambre. This despicable
toady was his lordship's double; he was a living type of the Gnatho of
Terence; and I never saw him without remembering the passage that ends
"_si negat id quoque nego_." Black was white, and white was black
with toady, if his lordship pleased; he messed in the cabin, did much
mischief in the ship, and only escaped kicking, because he was too
contemptible to be kicked.
My fair readers are no doubt anxious to know how I parted with Emily,
and truly I am not unwilling to oblige them, though it is, indeed,
a tender subject. As soon as we received our orders to proceed to
Spithead, Mr Somerville, who had kept his house at Blackheath while
the ship was fitting, in hopes that my promotion might have taken
place before she was ready, now prepared to quit the place. To the
renewed application of my father, the answer was that I must go abroad
for my promotion. This at once decided him to break up his summer
quarters, very wisely foreseeing that unless he did so, my services
would be lost to my ship; and if he and Emily did not leave me behind
at Woolwich, I should probably be left behind by my captain: he
therefore announced his intended departure within twenty-four hours.
Emily was very sorry, and so was I. I kindly reproached her with her
cruelty; but she replied with a degree of firmness and good sense,
which I could not but admire, that she had but one counsellor, and
that was her father, and that until she was married, she never
intended to have any other; that by his advice she had delayed the
union: and as we were neither of us very old people, "I trust in God,"
said she, "we may meet again." I admired her heroism, gave her one
kiss, handed her into her carriage, and we shook hands. I need not say
I saw a tear or two in her eyes. Mr Somerville saw the shower coming
on, pulled up the glass, gave me a friendly nod, and the carriage
drove off. The last I saw of Emily, at that time, was her right hand,
which carried her handkerchief to her eyes.
After the dear inmates were gone, I turned from the door of the house
in disgust, and ran direct to my boat, like a dog with a tin-kettle.
When I got on board, I hated the sight of every body, and the smell
of every thing; pitch, paint, bilge-water, tar and rum, entering into
horrible combination, had conspired against me: and I was as sick and
as miserable as the most love-sick seaman can conceive. I have before
observed that we had arrived at Spithead, and as I have nothing new to
say of that place, I shall proceed to sea.
We sailed for the North American station, the pleasantest I could go
to when away from Emily. Our passage was tedious, and we were put on
short allowance of water. Those only who have known it will understand
it. All felt it but the captain; who, claiming privilege, took a dozen
gallons every day to bathe his feet in, and that water, when done
with, was greedily sought for by the men. There was some murmuring
about it, which came to the captain's ears, who only observed, with an
apathy peculiar to Almack's,
"Well, you know, if a man has no privilege, what's the use of being a
captain?"
"Very true, my lord," said the toad-eater, with a low bow.
I will now give a short description of his lordship. He was a smart,
dapper, well made man, with a handsome, but not an intellectual
countenance; cleanly and particular in his person; and, assisted by
the puffs of Toady, had a very good opinion of himself; proud of his
aristocratic birth, and still more vain of his personal appearance.
His knowledge on most points was superficial--high life, and anecdotes
connected with it, were the usual topics of his discourse; at his
own table he generally engrossed all the conversation: and while his
guests drank his wine, "they laughed with counterfeited glee," &c. His
reading was comprised in two volumes octavo, being the Memoirs of the
Count de Grammont, which amusing and aristocratical work was never out
of his hand. He had been many years at sea; but strange to say, knew
nothing, literally nothing, of his profession. Seamanship, navigation,
and every thing connected with the service, he was perfectly ignorant
of. I had heard him spoken of as a good officer, before he joined
us; and I must, in justice to him, say that he was naturally good
tempered, and I believe as brave a man as ever drew a sword.
He seldom made any professional remark, being aware of his deficiency,
and never ventured beyond his depth intentionally. When he came on the
quarter-deck, he usually looked at the weather main-brace, and if it
was not as _taut_ as a bar, would order it to be made so. Here he
could not easily commit himself: but it became a bye-word with us
when we laughed at him below. He had a curious way of forgetting, or
pretending to forget, the names of men and things, I presume, because
they were so much beneath him; and in their stead, substituted the
elegant phrases of "What's-his-name," "What-do-ye-call-'em," and
"thingumbob."
One day he came on deck, and actually gave me the following very
intelligible order. "Mr, What's-his-name, have the goodness
to--what-do-ye-call-'em,--the,--the thingumbob."
"Ay, ay, my lord," said I. "Afterguard! haul taut the weather
main-brace." This was exactly what he meant.
He was very particular and captious when not properly addressed. When
an order is given by a commanding officer, it is not unusual to say,
"Very good, Sir;" implying that you perfectly understand, and are
going cheerfully to obey it. I had adopted this answer, and gave it to
his lordship when I received an order from him, saying "Very good, my
lord."
"Mr Mildmay," said his lordship, "I don't suppose you mean anything
like disrespect, but I will thank you not to make that answer again:
it is for _me_ to say 'very good,' and not you. You seem to approve
of my order, and I don't like it; I beg you will not do it again, you
know."
"Very good, my lord," said I, so inveterate is habit. "I beg your
lordship's pardon, I mean very well."
"I don't much like that young man," said his lordship to his toady,
who followed him up and down the quarter-deck, like "the bob-tail
cur," looking his master in the face. I did not hear the answer, but
of course it was an echo.
The first time we reefed topsails at sea, the captain was on deck; he
said nothing, but merely looked on. The second time, we found he had
caught all the words of the first lieutenant, and repeated them in a
loud and pompous voice, without knowing whether they were applicable
to the case or not. The third time he fancied he was able to go alone,
and down he fell--he made a sad mistake indeed. "Hoist away
the fore-topsail," said the first lieutenant. "Hoist away the
fore-topsail," said the captain. The men were stamping aft, and the
topsail yards travelling up to the mast-head very fast, when they were
stopped by a sudden check with the fore-topsail haul-yards.
"What's the matter?" said the first lieutenant, calling to me, who was
at my station on the forecastle.
"Something foul of the topsail-tie," I replied.
"What's the matter forward?" said the captain.
"Topsail-tie is foul, my lord," answered the first lieutenant.
"D----n the topsail-tie! cut it away. Out knife there, aloft! I _will_
have the topsail hoisted; cut away the topsail-tie."
For the information of my land readers, I should observe that the
topsail-tie was the very rope which was at that moment suspending the
yard aloft. The cutting it would have disabled the ship until it could
have been repaired; and had the order been obeyed, the topsail-yard
itself, would, in all probability, have been sprung or broke in two on
the cap.
We arrived at Halifax without falling in with an enemy; and as soon as
the ship was secured, I went on shore to visit all my dear Dulcineas,
every one of whom I persuaded, that on her account alone I had used my
utmost interest to be sent out on the station. Fortunately for them
and for me, I was not long permitted to trifle away my time. We were
ordered to cruise on the coast of North America. It was winter and
very cold; we encountered many severe gales of wind, during which time
we suffered much from the frequent and sudden snowstorms, north-east
gales, and sharp frosts, which rendered our running-rigging almost
unmanageable, and obliged us to pour boiling water into the sheaves of
the blocks to thaw them, and allow the ropes to traverse; nor did the
cold permit the captain to honour us with his presence on deck more
than once in the twenty-four hours.
We anchored off a part of the coast, which was not in a state of
defence, and the people being unprotected by their own government,
considered themselves as neutrals, and supplied us with as much fish,
poultry, and vegetables, as we required. While we lay here, the
captain and officers frequently went on shore for a short time without
molestation. One night, after the captain had returned, a snow-storm
and a gale of wind came on. The captain's gig, which ought to have
been hoisted up, was not; she broke her painter, and went adrift, and
had been gone some time before she was missed. The next morning, on
making inquiry, it was found that the boat had drifted on shore a few
miles from where we lay; and that having been taken possession of by
the Americans, they had removed her to a hostile part of the coast,
twenty-two miles off. The captain was very much annoyed at the loss of
his boat, which he considered as his own private property, although
built on board by the king's men, and with the king's plank and nails.
"As my private property," said his lordship, "it ought to be given up,
you know."
I did not tell him that I had seen the sawyers cutting an anchor-stock
into the plank of which it was built, and that the said plank had been
put down to other services in the expense-book. This, however, was no
business of mine; nor had I any idea that the loss of this little boat
would so nearly produce my final catastrophe; so it was, however, and
very serious results took place in consequence of this accident.
"They _must_ respect private property, you know," said the captain to
the first lieutenant.
"Yes," answered the lieutenant; "but they do not know that it is
private property."
"Very true: then I will send and tell them so;" and down he went to
his dinner.
The yawl was ordered to be got ready, and hoisted out at daylight, and
I had notice given me that I was to go away in her. About nine o'clock
the next morning, I was sent for into the cabin; his lordship was
still in bed, and the green silk curtains were drawn close round his
cot.
"Mr Thingamy," said his lordship, "you will take the what's-his-name,
you know."
"Yes, my lord," said I.
"And you will go to that town, and ask for my thingumbob."
"For your gig, my lord?" said I.
"Yes, that's all."
"But, my lord, suppose they won't give it to me?"
"Then take it."
"Suppose the gig is not there, my lord, and if there, suppose they
refuse to give it up?"
"Then take every vessel out of the harbour."
"Very well, my lord. Am I to put the gun in the boat? or to take
muskets only?"
"Oh, no, no arms--take a flag of truce--No. 8 (white flag) will do."
"Suppose they will not accept the flag of truce, my lord?"
"Oh, but they will: they always respect a flag of truce, you know."
"I beg your lordship's pardon, but I think a few muskets in the boat
would be of service."
"No, no, no,--no arms. You will be fighting about nothing. You have
your orders, Sir."
"Yes," thinks I, "I have. If I succeed, I am a robber; if I fail, I am
liable to be hanged on the first tree."
I left the cabin, and went to the first lieutenant. I told him what my
orders were. This officer was, as I before observed, a man who had no
friends, and was therefore entirely dependent on the captain for his
promotion, and was afraid to act contrary to his lordship's orders,
however absurd. I told him, that whatever might me the captain's
orders, I would not go without arms.
"The orders of his lordship must be obeyed," said the lieutenant.
"Why," said I, irritated at his folly, "you are as clever a fellow as
the skipper."
This he considered so great an affront, that he ran down to his cabin,
saying, "You shall hear from me again for this, Sir."
I concluded that he meant to try me by a court-martial, to which I had
certainly laid myself open by this unguarded expression; but I went on
the quarter-deck, and, during his absence, got as many muskets into
the boat as I wanted, with a proper proportion of ammunition. This
was hardly completed, before the lieutenant came up again, and put
a letter into my hands: which was no more than the very comfortable
intelligence, that, on my return from the expedition on which I was
then going, he should expect satisfaction for the affront I had
offered him. I was glad, however, to find it was no worse. I laughed
at his threat; and, as the very head and front of my offending was
only having compared him to the captain, he could not show any
resentment openly, for fear of displeasing his patron. In short, to be
offended at it, was to offer the greatest possible affront to the
man he looked up to for promotion, and thus destroy all his golden
prospects.
As I put this well-timed challenge into my pocket, I walked down the
side, got into my boat, and put off. It wanted but one hour of sunset
when I reached the part where this infernal gig was supposed to be,
and the sky gave strong indications of an approaching gale. Indeed, I
do not believe another captain in the navy could have been found who,
at such a season of the year, would have risked a boat so far from the
ship on an enemy's coast and a lee-shore, for such a worthless object.
My crew consisted of twenty men and a midshipman. When we arrived off
the mouth of the harbour, we perceived four vessels lying at anchor,
and pulled directly in. We had, however, no opportunity of trying our
flag of truce, for as soon as we came within range of musket-shot, a
volley from two hundred concealed militiamen struck down four of my
men. There was then nothing left for it but to board, and bring out
the vessels. Two of them were aground, and we set them on fire, it
being dead low water (thanks to the delay in the morning): in doing
this, we had more men wounded. I then took possession of the other two
vessels, and giving one of them in charge of the midshipman, who was
quite a lad, I desired him to weigh his anchor. I gave him the boat,
with all the men except four, which I kept with me. The poor fellow
probably lost more men, for he cut his cable, and got out before me.
I weighed my anchor, but had one of my men killed by a musket ball in
doing it. I stood out after the midshipman. We had gained an offing
of four miles, when a violent gale and snow-storm came on. The sails
belonging to the vessel all blew to rags immediately, being very old.
I had no resource, except to anchor, which I did on a bank, in five
fathom water. The other vessel lost all her sails, and, having no
anchor, as I then conjectured, and afterwards learned, drifted on
shore, and was dashed to pieces, the people being either frozen to
death, wounded, or taken prisoners.
The next morning I could see the vessel lying on shore a wreck,
covered with ice. A dismal prospect to me, as at that time I knew not
what had become of the men. My own situation was even less enviable;
the vessel was frail, and deeply laden with salt: a cargo, which, if
it by any means gets wet, is worse than water, since it cannot be
pumped out, and becomes as heavy as lead; nothing could, in that
event, have kept the vessel afloat, and we had no boat in case of such
an accident. I had three men with me, besides the dead body, in the
cabin, and a pantry as clear as an empty house: not an article of any
description to eat. I was four miles from the shore, in a heavy gale
of wind, the pleasure of which was enhanced by snow, and the bitterest
cold I ever experienced. We proceeded to examine the vessel, and found
that there was on board a quantity of sails and canvas, that did not
fit, but had been bought with an intention of making up for this
vessel, and not before she wanted them; there was also an abundance of
palms, needles, and twine; but to eat, there was nothing except salt,
and to drink, nothing but one cask of fresh water. We kindled a fire
in the cabin, and made ourselves as warm as we could, taking a view
on deck now and then, to see if she drove, or if the gale abated. She
pitched heavily, taking in whole seas over the forecastle, and the
water froze on the deck. The next morning we found we had drifted
a mile nearer to the shore, and the gale continued with unabated
violence. The other vessel lay a wreck, with her masts gone, and as it
were _in terrorem_, staring us in the face.
We felt the most pinching hunger; we had no fuel after the second day,
except what we pulled down from the bulkheads of the cabin. We amused
ourselves below, making a suit of sails for the vessel, and drinking
hot water to repel the cold. But this work could not have lasted long;
the weather became more intensely cold, and twice did we set the prize
on fire, in our liberality with the stove to keep ourselves warm. The
ice formed on the surface of the water in our kettle, till it was
dissolved by the heat from the bottom. The second night passed like
the first; and we found, in the morning, that we had drifted within
two miles of the shore. We completed our little sails this day, and
with great difficulty contrived to bend them.
The men were now exhausted with cold and hunger, and proposed that we
should cut our cable and run on shore; but I begged them to wait till
the next morning, as these gales seldom lasted long. This they agreed
to: and we again huddled together to keep ourselves warm, the outside
man pulling the dead man close to him by way of a blanket. The gale
this night moderated, and towards the morning the weather was fine,
although the wind was against us, and to beat her up to the ship was
impossible. From the continued freezing of the water, the bob-stays
and the rigging were coated with ice five or six inches thick, and the
forecastle was covered with two feet of clear ice, showing the ropes
coiled underneath it.
There was no more to be done: so, desiring the men to cut the cable,
I made up my mind to run the vessel on shore, and give myself up.
We hoisted the foresail, and I stood in with the intention of
surrendering myself and people at a large town which I knew was
situated about twelve miles farther on the coast. To have given myself
up at the place where the vessels had been captured, I did not think
would have been prudent.
When we made sail on the third morning, we had drifted within half a
mile of the shore, and very near the place we had left. Field pieces
had been brought down to us. They had the range, but they could not
reach us. I continued to make more sail, and to creep along shore,
until I came within a few cables' length of the pier, where men,
women, and children were assembled to see us land; when suddenly a
snow-storm came on; the wind shifted, and blew with such violence,
that I could neither see the port, nor turn the vessel to windward
into it; and as I knew I could not hold my own, and that the wind was
fair for our ship, then distant about forty miles, we agreed to up
helm and scud for her.
This was well executed. About eleven at night we hailed her, and asked
for a boat. They had seen us approaching, and a boat instantly came,
taking us all on board the frigate, and leaving some fresh hands in
charge of the prize.
I was mad with hunger and cold, and with difficulty did we get up the
side, so exhausted and feeble were the whole of us. I was ordered down
into the cabin, for it was too cold for the captain to show his face
on deck. I found his lordship sitting before a good fire, with his
toes in the grate; a decanter of Madeira stood on the table, with a
wine glass, and most fortunately, though not intended for my use, a
large rummer. This I seized with one hand and the decanter with the
other; and, filling a bumper, swallowed it in a moment, without even
drinking his lordship's good health. He stared, and I believe thought
me mad. I certainly do own that my dress and appearance perfectly
corresponded with my actions. I had not been washed, shaved, or
"cleaned," since I had left the ship, three days before. My beard was
grown, my cheeks hollow, my eyes sunk, and for my stomach, I leave
that to those fortunate Frenchmen who escaped from the Russian
campaign, who only can appreciate my sufferings. My whole haggard
frame was enveloped in a huge blue flushing coat, frosted, like a
plum-cake, with ice and snow.
As soon as I could speak, I said, "I beg pardon, my lord, but I have
had nothing to eat or drink since I left the ship."
"Oh, _then_ you are very welcome," said his lordship; "I never
expected to see you again."
"Then why the devil did you send me?" thought I to myself.
During this short dialogue, I had neither been offered a chair nor any
refreshment, of which I stood so much in need; and if I had been able,
should have been kept standing while I related my adventures. I was
about to commence, when the wine got into my head; and to support
myself, I leaned, or rather staggered, on the back of a chair.
"Never mind now," said the captain, apparently moved from his listless
apathy by my situation; "go and make yourself comfortable, and I will
hear it all to-morrow."
This was the only kind thing he had ever done for me; and it came so
_apropos_, that I felt grateful to him for it, thanked him, and went
below to the gun-room, where, notwithstanding all I had heard and read
of the dangers of repletion after long abstinence, I ate voraciously,
and drank proportionably, ever and anon telling my astonished
messmates, who were looking on, what a narrow escape the dead body
had of being dissected and broiled. This, from the specimen of my
performance, they had no difficulty in believing. I recommended the
three men who had been with me to the care of the surgeon; and, with
his permission, presented each of them with a pint of hot brandy and
water, well sweetened, by way of a night cap. Having taken these
precautions, and satisfied the cravings of nature on my own part, as
well as the cravings of curiosity on that of my messmates, I went to
bed, and slept soundly till the next day at noon.
Thus ended this anomalous and fatal expedition: an ambassador sent
with the sacred emblem of peace, to commit an act of hostility under
its protection. To have been taken under such circumstances, would
have subjected us to be hung like dogs on the first tree; to have gone
unarmed, would have been an act of insanity, and I therefore took upon
me to disobey an unjust and absurd order. This, however, must not be
pleaded as an example to juniors, but a warning to seniors how they
give orders without duly weighing the consequences: the safest plan
is always to obey. Thus did his Majesty's service lose eighteen fine
fellows, under much severe suffering, for a boat, "the _private_
property" of the captain, not worth twenty pounds.
The next day, as soon as I was dressed, the first lieutenant sent to
speak to me. I then recollected the little affair of the challenge. "A
delightful after-piece," thought I, "to the tragedy, to be shot by
the first lieutenant only for calling him as clever a fellow as the
captain." The lieutenant, however, had no such barbarous intentions;
he had seen and acknowledged the truth of my observation, and, being
a well meaning north-countryman, he offered me his hand, which I took
with pleasure, having had quite enough of stimulus for that time.