Such was my brother too,
So went he suited to his watery tomb:
If spirits can assume both form and suit,
You come to fright us.
_Twelfth Night_.
Soon after the frigate which had taken me off from New Providence had
parted company with the American prize that I was sent on board of,
the crew of the former, it appeared, had been boasting among the
American prisoners of the prize-money they should receive.
"Not you," said the Yankees; "you will never see your prize any more,
nor any one that went in her."
These words were repeated to the captain of the frigate, when he
questioned the mate and the crew, and the whole nefarious transaction
came out. They said the ship was sinking when they left her, and that
was the reason they had hurried into the boat. The mate said it was
impossible to get at the leaks, which were in the fore peak, and under
the cabin deck in the run; that he wondered Captain Green had not
made it known, but he supposed he must have been drunk: "the ship,"
continued the mate, "must have gone down in twelve hours after we left
her."
This was reported to the Admiralty by my captain, and my poor father
was formally acquainted with the fatal story. Five months had elapsed
since I was last heard of, and all hopes of my safety had vanished:
this was the reason that when I knocked at the door, I found the
servant in mourning: he was one who had been hired since my departure,
and did not know me. Of course he expressed no surprise at seeing me.
"Good Heavens!" said I, "who is dead?" "My master's only son, Sir,"
said the man, "Mr Frank, drowned at sea."
"Oh! is that all?" said I, "I am glad it's no worse." The man
concluded that I was an unfeeling brute, and stared stupidly at me as
I brushed by him and ran up stairs to the drawing-room. I ought to
have been more guarded; but, as usual, I followed the impulse of my
feelings. I opened the door, when I saw my sister sitting at a table
in deep mourning, with another young lady whose back was turned
towards me. My sister screamed as soon as she saw me. The other lady
turned round, and I beheld my Emily, my dear, dear Emily: she too was
in deep mourning. My sister, after screaming, fell on the floor in a
swoon. Emily instantly followed her example, and there they both lay,
like two petrified queens in Westminster Abbey. It was a beautiful
sight, "pretty, though a plague."
I was confoundedly frightened myself, and thought I had done a
very foolish thing; but as I had no time to lose, I rang the bell
furiously, and seeing some jars with fresh flowers in them, I caught
them up and poured plentiful libations over the faces and necks of
the young ladies; but Emily came in for much the largest share, which
proves that I had neither lost my presence of mind nor my love for
her.
My sister's maid, Higgins, was the first to answer the drawing-room
bell, which, from its violent ringing, announced some serious event.
She came bouncing into the room like a _recouchée_ shot. She was an
old acquaintance of mine; I had often kissed her when a boy, and she
had just as often boxed my ears. I used to give her a ribbon to tie up
her jaw with, telling her at the same time that she had too much of
it. This Abigail, like a true lady's maid, seeing me, whom she thought
a ghost, standing bolt upright, and the two ladies stretched out, as
she supposed, dead, gave a loud and most interesting scream, ran out
of the room for her life, nearly knocking down the footman, whom she
met coming in.
This fellow, who was a country lout, the son of one of my father's
tenants, only popped his head into the door, and saw the ladies lying
on the carpet; he had probably formed no very good opinion of me from
the manner in which I had received the news of my own demise, and
seemed very much inclined to act the part of a mandarin, that is, nod
his head and stand still.
"Desire some of the women to come here immediately," said I; "some
one that can be of use; tell them to bring salts, eau de cologue, any
thing. Fly, blockhead, goose, what do you stand staring at?"
The fellow looked at me, and then at the supposed corpses, which
he must have thought I had murdered; and, either thunderstruck, or
doubting whether he had any right to obey me, kept his head inside the
door and his body outside, as if he had been in the pillory. I saw
that he required some explanation, and cried out, "I am Mr Frank; will
you obey me, or shall I throw this jar at your head?" brandishing one
of the china vases.
Had I been inclined to have thrown it, I should have missed him, for
the fellow was off like a wounded porpoise. Down he ran to my father
in the library; "Oh, Sir--good news--bad news--good news--"
"What news, fool?" said my father, rising hastily from his chair.
"Oh, Sir, I don't know, Sir; but I believe, Sir, Mr Frank is alive
again, and both the ladies _is_ dead."
My poor father, whose health and constitution had not recovered the
shock of my supposed death, tremblingly leaned over his table, on
which he rested his two hands, and desired the man to repeat what he
had said. This the fellow did, half crying, and my father, easily
comprehending the state of things, came upstairs. I would have flown
into his arms, but mine were occupied in supporting my sweet Emily,
while my poor sister lay senseless on the other side of me; for
Clara's lover was not at hand, and she still lay in abeyance.
By this time "the hands were turned up," every body was on the alert,
and every living creature in the house, not excepting the dog, had
assembled in the drawing-room. The maids that had known me cried
and sobbed most piteously, and the new comer kept them company from
sympathy. The coachman, and footman, and groom, all blubbered and
stared; and one brought water, and one a basin, and the looby of a
footman something else, which I must not name; but in his hurry he
had snatched up the first utensil that he thought might be of use; I
approved of his zeal, but nodded to him to retire. Unluckily for him,
the housemaid perceived the mistake which his absence of thought had
led him into; and, snatching the mysterious vessel with her left hand,
she hid it under her apron, while with her right she gave the poor
fellow such a slap on the cheek, as to bring to my mind the tail of
the whale descending on the boat at Bermuda. "You great fool," said
she, "nobody wants that."
"There is matrimony in that slap," said I; and the event proved I was
right--they were _asked_ in church the Sunday following.
The industrious application of salts, cold water, and burnt rags,
together with chafing of temples, opening of collars, and loosening
the stay-laces of the young ladies, produced the happiest effects.
Every hand, and every tongue was in motion; and with all these
remedies, the eyes of the enchanting Emily opened, and beamed upon me,
spreading joy and gladness over the face of creation, like the sun
rising out of the bosom of the Atlantic, to cheer the inhabitants of
the Antilles after a frightful hurricane. In half an hour, all was
right; "the guns were secured--we beat the retreat;" the servants
retired. I became the centre of the picture. Emily held my right, my
father my left; dear Clara hung round my neck. Questions were put and
answered as fast as sobs and tears would admit of their being heard.
The interlude was filled up with the sweetest kisses from the rosiest
of lips; and I was in this half hour rewarded for all I had suffered
since I had sailed from England in the diabolical brig for Barbadoes.
It was, I own, exceedingly wrong to have taken the house, as it were,
by storm, when I knew they were in mourning for me; but I forgot that
other people did not require the same stimulus as myself. I begged
pardon; was kissed again and again, and forgiven. Oh, it was worth
while to offend to be forgiven by such lips, and eyes, and dimples.
But I am afraid this thought is borrowed from some prose or poetry; if
so, the reader must forgive me, and so must the author, who may have
it again, now I have done with it, for I shall never use it any more.
My narrative was given with as much modesty and brevity as time and
circumstances would admit. The coachman was despatched on one of the
best carriage-horses express to Mr Somerville, and the mail coach was
loaded with letters to all the friends and connections of the family.
This ended, each retired to dress for dinner. What a change had one
hour wrought in this house of mourning, now suddenly turned into a
house of joy! Alas! how often is the picture reversed in human life!
The ladies soon reappeared in spotless white; emblems of their pure
minds. My father had put off his sables, and the servants came in
their usual liveries, which were very splendid.
Dinner being announced, my father handed off Emily; I followed with
my sister. Emily, looking over her shoulder, said, "Don't be jealous,
Frank."
My father laughed, and I vowed revenge for this little satirical hit.
"You know the forfeit," said I, "and you shall pay it."
"I am happy to say that I am both able and willing," said she, and we
sat down to dinner, but not before my father had given thanks in a
manner more than usually solemn and emphatic. This essential act of
devotion, so often neglected, brought tears into the eyes of
all. Emily sank into her chair, covered her face with her
pocket-handkerchief, and relieved herself with tears. Clara did the
same. My father shook me by the hand, and said, "Frank, this is a very
different kind of repast to what we had yesterday. How little did we
know of the happiness that was in store for us!"
The young ladies dried their eyes, but had lost their appetites; in
vain did Emily endeavour to manage the tail of a small smelt. I filled
a glass of wine to each. "Come," said I, "in sea phrase, spirits are
always more easily stowed away than dry provisions; let us drink each
other's health, and then we shall get on better."
They took my advice, and it answered the purpose. Our repast was
cheerful, but tempered and corrected by a feeling of past sorrow, and
a deep sense of great mercies from Heaven.
"If Heaven were every day like this,
Then 'twere indeed a Heaven of bliss."
Reader, I know you have long thought me a vain man--a profligate,
unprincipled Don Juan, ready to pray when in danger, and to sin when
out of it: but as I have always told you the truth, even when my
honour and character were at stake, I expect you will believe me now,
when I say a word in my own favour. That I felt gratitude to God for
my deliverance and safe return, I do most solemnly aver; my heart was
ready to burst with the escape of this feeling, which I suppressed
from a false sense of shame, though I never was given much to the
melting mood; moreover, I was too proud to show what I thought a
weakness, before the great he-fellows of footmen. Had we been in
private, I could have fallen down on my knees before that God whom I
had so often offended; who had rescued me twice from the jaws of the
shark; who had lifted me from the depth of the sea when darkness
covered me; who had saved me from the poison and the wreck, and guided
me clear of the rock at Trinidad; and who had sent the dog to save me
from a horrible death.
These were only a small part of the mercies I had received; but they
were the most recent, and consequently had left the deepest impression
on my memory. I would have given one of Emily's approving smiles, much
as I valued them, to have been relieved from my oppressed feelings
by a hearty flood of tears, and by a solemn act of devotion and
thanksgiving; but I felt all this, and that feeling, I hope, was
accounted to me for righteousness. For the first time in my life, the
love of God was mixed up with a pure and earthly love for Emily, and
affection for my family.
The ladies sat with us some time after the cloth was removed, unable
to drag themselves away, while I related my "hair-breadth escapes."
When I spoke of the incident of trying to save the poor man who fell
overboard from the brig--of my holding him by the collar, and being
dragged down with him until the sea became dark over my head--Emily
could bear it no longer; she jumped up, and falling on her knees, hid
her lovely face in my sister's lap, passionately exclaiming, "Oh,
do not, do not, my dear Frank, tell me any more--I cannot bear
it--indeed, I cannot bear it."
We all gathered round her, and supported her to the drawing-room,
where we diverted ourselves with lighter and gayer anecdotes. Emily
tried a tune on the pianoforte, and attempted a song; but it would not
do: she could not sing a gay one, and a melancholy one overpowered
her. At twelve o'clock, we all retired to our apartments, and before I
slept I spent some minutes in devotion, with vows of amendment which I
fully intended to keep.
The next morning, Mr Somerville joined us at breakfast. This was
another trial of feeling for poor Emily, who threw herself into her
father's arms, and sobbed aloud. Mr Somerville shook me most cordially
by the hand with both of his, and eagerly demanded the history of my
extraordinary adventures, of which I gave him a small abridgment. I
had taken the opportunity of an hour's _tête à tête_ with Emily, which
Clara had considerately given us before breakfast, to speak of our
anticipated union; and finding there were no other obstacles than
those which are usually raised by "maiden pride and bashful coyness,"
so natural, so becoming, and so lovely in the sex, I determined to
speak to the grey-beards on the subject.
To this Emily at last consented, on my reminding her of my late narrow
escapes. As soon, therefore, as the ladies had retired from the dinner
table, I asked my father to fill a bumper to their health; and, having
swallowed mine in all the fervency of the most unbounded love, I
popped the question to them both. Mr Somerville and my father looked
at each other, when the former said--
"You seem to be in a great hurry, Frank."
"Not greater, Sir," said I, "than the object deserves."
He bowed, and my father began--
"I cannot say," observed the good old gentleman, "that I much approve
of matrimony before you are a commander. At least, till then, you are
not your own master."
"Oh, if I am to wait for that, Sir," said I, "I may wait long enough;
no man is ever his own master in our service, or in England. The
captain is commanded by the admiral, the admiral by the Admiralty, the
Admiralty by the Privy Council, the Privy Council by the Parliament,
the Parliament by the people, and the people by printers and their
devils."
"I admire your logical chain of causes and effects," said my
father; "but we must, after all, go to the _lace manufactory_ at
Charing-cross, to see if we cannot have your shoulders fitted with a
pair of epaulettes. When we can see you command your own sloop of war,
I shall be most happy, as I am sure my good friend Somerville will be
also, to see you command his daughter, the finest and the best girl in
the county of ----"
No arguments could induce the two old gentlemen to bate one inch from
these _sine qua non_. It was agreed that application should be made to
the Admiralty forthwith for my promotion; and when that desirable step
was obtained, that then Emily should have the disposal of me for the
honeymoon.
All this was a very pretty story for them on the score of prudence,
but it did not suit the views of an ardent lover of one-and-twenty;
for though I knew my father's influence was very great at the
Admiralty, I also knew that an excellent regulation had recently been
promulgated, which prevented any lieutenant being promoted to the rank
of commander until he had served two years at sea from the date of his
first commission; nor could any commander, in like manner, be promoted
before he had served one year in that capacity. All this was no doubt
very good for the service, but I had not yet attained sufficient _amor
patriae_ to prefer the public to myself; and I fairly wished the
regulation, and the makers of it, in the cavern at New Providence,
just about the time of high water.
I put it to the ladies whether this was not a case of real distress,
after all my hardships and my constancy, to be put off with such an
excuse? The answer from the Admiralty was so far favourable, that I
was assured I should be promoted as soon as my time was served, of
which I then wanted two months. I was appointed to a ship fitting at
Woolwich, and before she could be ready for sea, my time would be
completed, and I was to have my commission as a commander. This was
not the way to ensure her speedy equipment, as far as I was concerned;
but there was no help for it; and as the ship was at Woolwich, and the
residence of my fair one at no great distance, I endeavoured to pass
my time, during the interval, between the duties of love and war;
between obedience to my captain, and obedience to my mistress; and by
great good fortune, I contrived to please both, for my captain gave
himself no trouble about the ship or her equipment.
Before I proceeded to join, I made one more effort to break through
the inflexibility of my father. I said I had undergone the labours of
Hercules; and that if I went again on foreign service, I might meet
with some young lady who would send me out of the world with a cup of
poison, or by some fatal spell break the magical chain which now bound
me to Emily. This poetical imagery had no more effect on them, than my
prose composition. I then appealed to Emily herself. "Surely," said I,
"your heart is not as hard as those of our inflexible parents? surely
you will be my advocate on this occasion? Bend but one look of
disapprobation on my father with those heavenly blue eyes of yours,
and, on my life, he will strike his flag."
But the gipsy replied, with a smile (instigated, no doubt, from
head-quarters), that she did not like the idea of her name appearing
in the _Morning Post_ as the bride of a lieutenant. "What's a
lieutenant, now-a-days?" said she; "nobody. I remember when I was on a
visit at Fareham, I used to go to Portsmouth to see the dock-yard
and the ships, and there was your great friend the tall admiral, Sir
Hurricane Humbug, I think you call him, driving the poor lieutenants
about like so many sheep before a dog; there was one always at his
heels, like a running footman; and there was another that appeared to
me to be chained, like a mastiff, to the door of the admiral's office,
except when the admiral and family walked out, and then he brought
up the rear with the governess. No, Frank, I shall not surrender at
discretion, with all my charms, to any thing less than a captain, with
a pair of gold epaulettes."
"Very well," replied I, looking into the pier glass, with tolerable
self-complacency; "if you choose to pin your happiness on the promises
of a first lord of the Admiralty, and a pair of epaulettes, I can say
no more. There is no accounting for female taste; some ladies prefer
gold lace and wrinkles, to youth and beauty--I am sorry for them,
that's all."
"Frank," said Emily, "you must acknowledge that you are vain enough to
be an admiral at least."
"The admirals are much obliged to you for the compliment," said I. "I
trust I should not disgrace the flag, come when it will; but to tell
you the truth, my dear Emily, I cannot, say I look forward to that
elevation, with any degree of satisfaction. Three stars on each
shoulder, and three rows of gold lace round the cuff, are no
compensation, in my eyes, for grey hairs, thin legs, a broken back, a
church-yard cough, and to be laughed at or pitied by all the pretty
girls in the country into the bargain."
"I am sorry for you, my hero," said the young lady; "but you must
submit."
"Well then, if I must, I must," said I; "but give me a kiss in the
meantime."
I asked for one, and took a hundred, and should have taken a hundred
more, but the confounded butler came in, and brought me a letter on
service, which was neither more nor less than an order to join my ship
forthwith; _sic transit_, &c.
Pocketing my disappointment with as much _sang froid_ as I could
muster, I continued to beguile the time and to solace myself for my
past sufferings, by as much enjoyment as could be compressed into the
small space of leisure time allotted to me. Fortunately, the first
lieutenant of the frigate was what we used to call "a hard officer;"
he never went on shore, because he had few friends and less money. He
drew for his pay on the day it became due, and it lasted till the next
day of payment; and as I found he doated on a Spanish cigar, and
a _correct_ glass of cognac grog--for he never drank to excess--I
presented him with a box of the former, and a dozen of the latter, to
enable him to bear my nightly absence with Christian composure.
As soon as the day's work was ended, the good-natured lieutenant used
to say, "Come, Mr Mildmay, I know what it is to be in love; I was once
in love myself, though it is a good many years ago, and I am sure I
shall get into the good graces of your Polly (for so he called Emily)
if I send you to her arms. There is the jolly for you: send the boat
off as soon as you have landed, and be with us at nine to-morrow
morning, to meet the midshipman and the working party in the
dock-yard."
All this was perfectly agreeable to me. I generally got to Mr
Somerville's temporary residence on Blackheath by the time the
dressing-bell rang, and never failed to meet a pleasant party at
dinner. My father and dear Clara were guests in the house as well as
myself. By Mr Somerville's kind permission, I introduced Talbot, who,
being a perfect gentleman in his manners, a man of sound sense, good
education, and high aristocratic connections, I was proud to call
my friend. I presented him particularly to my sister, and took an
opportunity of whispering in Emily's ear, where I knew it would not
long remain, that he possessed the indispensable qualification of two
epaulettes. "Therefore," said I, "pray do not trust yourself too near
him, for fear you should be taken by surprise, like the _True-blooded
Yankee_."
Talbot knowing that Emily was bespoken, paid her no more than the
common attentions which courtesy demands; but to Clara his demeanour
was very different: and her natural attractions were much enhanced in
his eyes, by the friendship which we had entertained for each other
ever since the memorable affair of swimming away from the ship at
Spithead; from that time he used jocularly to call me "Leander."
But before I proceed any further with this part of my history, I must
beg leave to detain the reader one minute only, while I attempt to
make a sketch of my dear little sister Clara. She was rather fair,
with a fine, small, oval, well-proportioned face, sparkling black and
speaking eyes, good teeth, pretty red lips, very dark hair, and plenty
of it, hanging over her face and neck in curls of every size; her arms
and bust were such as Phidias and Praxiteles might have copied; her
waist was slender; her hands and feet small and beautiful. I used
often to think it was a great pity that such a love as she was should
not be matched with some equally good specimen of our sex; and I had
long fixed on my friend Talbot as the person best adapted to command
this pretty little, tight, fast-sailing, well-rigged smack.
Unluckily, Clara, with all her charms, had one fault, and that, in
my eyes, was a very serious one. Clara did not love a sailor. The
soldiers she doated on. But Clara's predilections were not easily
overcome, and that which had once taken root grew up and flourished.
She fancied sailors were not well bred; that they thought too much of
themselves or their ships; and, in short, that they were as rough and
unpolished as they were conceited.
With such obstinate and long-rooted prejudices against all of our
profession, it proved no small share of merit in Talbot to overcome
them. But as Clara's love for the army was more general than
particular, Talbot had a vacant theatre to fight in. He began by
handing her to dinner, and with modest assurance seated himself by
her side. But so well was he aware of her failing, that he never once
alluded to our unfortunate element; on the contrary, he led her away
with every variety of topic which he found best suited to her taste:
so that she was at last compelled to acknowledge that he might be one
exception to her rule, and I took the liberty of hoping that I might
be another.
One day at dinner Talbot called me "Leander," which instantly
attracted the notice of the ladies, and an explanation was demanded;
but for a time it was evaded, and the subject changed. Emily, however,
joining together certain imperfect reports which had reached her ears,
through the kindness of "some friends of the family," began to suspect
a rival, and the next morning examined me so closely on the subject,
that fearing a disclosure from other quarters, I was compelled to make
a confession.
I told her the whole history of my acquaintance with Eugenia, of my
last interview, and of her mysterious departure. I did not even
omit the circumstance of her offering me money; but I concealed the
probability of her being a mother. I assured her that it was full
four years and a half since we had met; and that as she knew of my
engagement, it was unlikely we should ever meet again. "At any rate,"
I said, "I shall never seek her; and if accident should throw me in
her way, I trust I shall behave like a man of honour."
I did not think it necessary to inform her of the musket-shots fired
at me by order of Talbot, as that might have injured him in the
estimation of both Emily and Clara. When I had concluded my narrative,
Emily sighed and looked very grave. I asked her if she had forgiven
me.
"Conditionally," said she, "as you said to the mutineers."