Being of age to play the fool,
With muckle glee I left our school
At _Hoxton_;
And, mounted on an easy pad,
Rode with my mother and my dad
To _Oxon_.
Conceited of my parts and knowledge,
They entered me into a college
_Ibidem_.
The master took me first aside,
Showed me a scrawl--I read, and cried
_Do Fidem_.
Gravely he took me by the fist,
And wished me well--we next request
A tutor.
He recommends a staunch one, who
In _Perkins'_ cause had been his Co-
Adjutor.
To see this precious stick of wood,
I went (for so they deemed it good)
In fear, Sir;
And found him swallowing loyalty,
Six deep his bumpers, which to me
Seemed queer, Sir.
He bade me sit and take my glass;
I answered, looking like an ass,
I can't, Sir.
Not drink!--You don't come here to pray!
The merry mortal said, by way
Of answer.
To pray, Sir! No, my lad; 'tis well!
Come, here's our friend _Sacheverell_;
Here's _Trappy_!
Here's _Ormond!_ _Marr!_ in short, so many
Traitors we drank, it made my _crani-
um_ nappy.
And now, the company dismissed,
With this same sociable Priest,
Or Fellow,
I sallied forth to deck my back
With loads of _stuff_, and gown of black
_Prunello_.
My back equipt, it was not fair
My head should 'scape, and so, as square
As _chess-board_,
A _cap_ I bought, my scull to screen,
Of cloth without, and all within
Of _paste-board_.
When metamorphosed in attire,
More like a parson than a squire
They'd dressed me.
I took my leave, with many a tear,
Of _John_, our man, and parents dear,
Who blest me.
The master said they might believe him,
So righteously (the Lord forgive him!)
He'd govern.
He'd show me the extremest love,
Provided that I did not prove
Too stubborn.
So far so good; but now _fresh fees_
Began (for so the custom is)
My ruin.
Fresh fees! with drink they knock you down;
You spoil your clothes, and your new gown
You sp-- in.
I scarce had slept--at six--tan tin
The bell goes--servitor comes in--
Gives warning.
I wished the scoundrel at old Nick;
I puked, and went to prayers d--d sick
That morning.
One who could come half drunk to prayer
They saw was entered, and could swear
At random;
Would bind himself, as they had done,
To statutes, tho' he could not un-
derstand 'em.
Built in the form of _pigeon-pye_,
A house[A] there is for rooks to lie
And roost in.
Their laws, their articles of grace,
_Forty_, I think, save half a brace,
Was willing
To swear to; swore, engaged my soul,
And paid the _swearing broker_ whole
_Ten shilling_.
Full half a pound I paid him down,
To live in the most p--d town
O' th' nation:
May it ten thousand cost _Lord Phyz_,
For never forwarding his vis-
itation.
[A] Theatre
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