To the sub-rector of a certain College in Oxford, as a new member, did
so with the observation, "Sir, he is _modest_, _diffident_, and
_clever_, and will _be an example to the whole College_." "I am glad
of it," was the reply, "we want such men, and I am honoured, sir, by
your bringing him here." Papa made his exit, well pleased with our
Welshman's hospitality, for of that country our Sub-Rector, as well as
the gentleman in question was. The former, too, had been a chaplain in
Lord Nelson's fleet, in his younger days, and was not over orthodox in
his language, when _irritated_, though a man with a better heart it
would have puzzled the Grecian sage to have traced out by
candle-light. A month had scarcely passed over, when Papa, having
occasion to pass through Oxon, called on the Sub-Rector, of course,
and naturally inquired, "How his son demeaned himself?" "You told me,
sir," said the Sub-Rector, in a pet, and a speech such as the
quarter-deck of a man-of-war had schooled him in; "you told me, sir,
that your son was _modest_, but d--n his _modesty!_ you told me, sir,
he was _diffident_, but d--n his _diffidence!_ you told me, sir, he
was clever; he's the greatest dunce of the whole society! you told me,
sir, he would prove an example to the whole college: but I tell you,
sir, that he is neither _modest_, _diffident_ nor _clever_, and in
three weeks," added the Sub-Rector, raising his voice to a becoming
pitch, "he has ruined half the College by his example!" We can
scarcely do better than add to this, by way of tail-piece, from that
loyal Oxford scourge _Terræ Filius_ (ed. 1726)--(to be read, "cum
grano," and some allowance for the excited character of the times in
which it was written)--