I hav no doubt it lengthened out hiz time, and braced up hiz faith.

But i wouldn't advise enny ov the yung klergy ov to-day tew meddle with

rum and tanzy, az a fertilizer.

The tanzy iz all rite--it grows az green and az bitter az ever; for man

kant adulturate it, but the rum haz bin bedeviled into rank pizon.

One sich horn az mi old unkle used tew absorb between hiz sermons on

Sunday (5 inches, good and strong) would disfranchise a whole drove ov

preachers now.

In them daze, the preacher waz a stalwart man, and could mo his swarth

in the hay field, with the best ov them, and could ride a hard trotting

cob or a hoss, 6 miles an hour, all day, akrost the mountains, and set

doun at night, to biled pork and kabbage, and kold injun puddin, and

after thanking the Lord for his menny mersys, eat hiz way klean to the

middle ov the table.

But times, and men, hav altered, and so haz rum and tanzy.

I dont want them good old times tew cum back agin, we aint pure enuff

now tew stand them, neither are we tuff enuff.

Our virtews may be az pure in the eyes ov heaven, but they kant stand

the biled pork, and rum, ov one hundred years ago.

We are told that mankind are growing weaker and wizer; weaker i admit,

but wisdum that is gained at the expense ov simplicity may be a doubtful

gain.

I never hav met an old man yet, who didn't mourn the degeneracy ov the

times.

Wisdum don't konsist in knowing more that iz new, but in knowing less

that iz false.

But, dear Mr. ----, i will now git back tew whare i am, and tell yu

sumthin about New Ashford.

If yu luv a mountain, cum up here and see me.

Right in front ov the little tavern, whare i am staying, rizes up a

chunk ov land, that will make yu feel weak tew look at it.

I hav bin on its top, and far above waz the brite blu ski, without a

kloud swimming in it, while belo me the rain shot slanting on the

valley, and the litening played its mad pranks.

How is this for hi?

But what a still place this New Ashford iz.

At sunrize the roosters crow all around, once apiece; at sunset the cows

cum hollering home tew be milked; and at twilite out steal the krickets,

with a song, the burden ov which seems sad and weary.

This iz all the racket thare iz in New Ashford. It iz so still here that

you can hear a feather drop from a blujay's tail.

Out ov this mountain, squeezed bi the weight ov it, leaks a little brook

ov water, and up and down this brook each day i loiter.

In mi hand i hav a short pole, on the end ov the pole a short line, on

the line a sharp hook, looped on the hook a grub, or a worm.

Every now and and then thare cums dancing out ov this little brook a

live trout no longer than yure finger, but az sweet az a stick ov kandy,

and in he goes at the top ov mi baskit.

This iz what i am here for; trout for breakfast, trout for dinner and

trout for supper.

The Complete Works of Josh Billings · 第 341 / 401 题