The village ov New Ashford iz lokated in the state ov Massachusetts, and
iz about 150 miles west ov Plymouth rok.
It iz one ov them towns that dont make enny fuss, but for pure water,
pure morals, and good rye, and injun bread, it stands on tiptoze.
It waz settled soon after the landing ov the pilgrims, bi sum ov that
party, and like all the Nu England towns, waz, at one time, selebrated
for its stern religious creed, and its excellent rum and tanzy.
It may seem a leetle strange, tew these latter day saints, tew hear me
mix up rum and religion together, but i had an Unkle, who preached God's
word in the next town south ov New Ashford, 80 years ago, who died in
due time, and went to heaven.
This genial old saint alwus took, on week daze, three magnificent horns
ov rum and tanzy, and Sundaze he took four.