I hav finally com tew the konclusion, that _lager beer_ iz not
intoxikatin.
I hav been told so bi a german, who sed he had drank it aul nite long,
just tew tri the experiment, and was obliged tew go home entirely sober
in the morning. I hav seen this same man drink sixteen glasses, and if
he was drunk, he was drunk in german, and noboddy could understand it.
It iz proper enuff tew state, that this man kept a lager-beer saloon,
and could have no object in stating what want strictly thus.
I beleaved him tew the full extent ov mi ability. I never drank but 3
glasses ov lager beer in mi life, and that made my hed untwist, as tho
it was hung on the end ov a string, but i was told that it was owing tew
my bile being out ov place, and I guess that it was so, for I never
biled over wuss than i did when I got home that nite. Mi wife was afrade
i was agoing tew die, and i was almoste afrade i shouldn't, for it did
seem az tho evrything i had ever eaten in mi life, was cuming tew the
surface, and i do really beleave, if mi wife hadn't pulled oph mi boots,
just az she did, they would have cum thundering up too.
Oh, how sick i was! it was 14 years ago, and i kan taste it now.