The obtuse man iz sawed off square at both ends, and iron bound like a
beetle.
He finds out the hard spot in things by running aginst them, and like
the merino ram, shuts up both eyes when he butts.
It iz az hard tew git an idee into him az it iz tew git a wedge into a
pepperidge log.
He alwus sez "_Yes_" to what he don't understand, and iz az hard tew
argy out ov a conceit az a dog iz out ov a bone.
He often sets himself up for a wise man, and sumtimes a wit, but i never
knu one tew think he waz a bore.
He goes thru life hed fust, and when he cums tew die he iz az well
seasoned az a foot-ball.
If he waz a going tew liv hiz life over again, he tells yu, he wouldn't
alter it, only he would eat more raw onions and be a hard-shell baptist.
Every man remembers him az a man too stubborn tew be very viscious, with
a few ideas, sum ov which he inherited, but most ov which he got by
sleeping with hiz mouth wide open.