Thar iz no limit tew the vanity of this world, each spoke in the wheel
thinks the whole strength ov the wheel depends upon it.
[Illustration: SAWS.]
The only claim enny man kan have upon the world, after he haz left it,
iz for good examples.
Thare iz just az mutch difference between precept and example, az thare
iz between a horn that blows a noize, and one that blows a tune.
Thare seems tew be a propriety in all things; late experiments in New
York city, have proved, that religion in a rat pit iz a failure. Grate
examples are no excuse for iniquity. Our Saviour thought so when he sed:
"Git thee behind me, Satan."
Sin in the soul iz like a sliver in the flesh, mortification iz the
natral way tew git rid ov it.
The man who dont praktiss what he preaches, iz no better than the
rattlesnaik, who warns, and then strikes.
Fortune haz but little power over those who are not her suitors.
Man by natur luvs sosiety, and the more he luvs it, the more natral
virtews he possesses--the most vicious amung the animals are thoze who
liv the most sekluded.
Beware ov false friends,--yure dog wont desert yu when yure munny iz
gone.
One reazon whi friendships are so transhient, is bekauze we so often
mistake a companyun for a friend.
To know how to think, iz one ov the sciences.
Poor human natur iz too full ov its own grievances tew hav enny pitty to
spare,--if yu show a man a big bile on yure arm, he will tell yu he had
one twice az big az that, on the same spot, last year.
The thinking men outliv the labouring men.
The owl iz remarkable for hiz gravity, and also for his stupidity.
Flattery iz like mollassis, a very little of it tastes sweet tew a wize
man, and a good deal of it, tastes sweet tew a phool.
Politeness subsists upon politeness.
I like a hornet for one thing, they always attend tew their own
bizzness, and wont let enny boddy else attend tew it.
Fools are alwus a looking ahead tew get wisdum, wize men look back.
It iz the eazyest thing in the world tew make a blunder, and the hardest
thing tew own it.
I deskribe a kiss, az the time, and spot, whare affeckshun cums tew the
surface.
Man waz kreated a little lower than the angels, but while an infant, he
fell one day out ov hiz kradle, and hain't struk bottom yet.
If a man iz very anxious tew kultivate a good opinyun ov human natur, he
mustn't know too mutch ov it.
A phool iz not necessarily a man without enny sense, but one without the
right kind ov sense.
When a man gits tew talking about himself, he seldum fails tew be
eloquent, and often reaches the sublime.
Excellence in enny direction iz rare--even good clowns are skarse.
Love generally changes coquettry to sense, and prudery to sillyness.
It iz only a step from cunning tew dishonesty, and it iz a step that a
man iz liable at ennytime tew take.
Old age haz its priviliges--one iz tew find fault with everything.
_Weak_ and _wicked_ are the two worst things that ennyboddy can be
charged with.
He who iz willing tew trust everyboddy, iz willing tew be cheated by
everyboddy.
Whenever yu find a man, with an excentricity ov enny kind, which he
brags ov, yu kan put that man down az a "_beat_," and charge it tew mi
account.
A wise man iz never less alone than when alone.
A man may mistake hiz tallents, but he kant mistake hiz genius.
Tallent must hav memory, genius don't require it.
I don't beleave thare iz a human being on the face ov the earth, nor an
angel in heaven, who are posatively proof against temptashun.
When a man measures out glory for himself he alwus heaps the half
bushel.
A bile ain't a very sore thing after all, espeshily when it iz on sum
other phellow.
Pretty much all the philosophy in this world iz kontained in the
following bracket--[_grin and bear it._]
I don't kno whitch haz done the most damage in this world, lazyness or
malice, but i guess lazyness has.
If I had 4 fust rate dogs i would name the best one "Doubtful" and the
other 3 "Useless."
Rumor iz like a swarm ov bees, the more yu fite them the less yu git rid
ov them.
Virtew may konsist in never sinning, but the glory ov virtew konsists in
repentance.
Fashion makes phools ov sum, sinners ov others, and slaves ov all.
A jest may be kruel, but a joke never iz.
I never bet: not so mutch bekause i am afrade i shall loze, az bekauze i
am afrade i shall win.
A phools money iz like hiz brains, very oneazy.
I don't think the height ov impudence haz ever been reached yet, altho
menny hav made a good try for it.
The reason whi all the works ov nature are so impressive, iz bekauze,
they represent ideas.
The books which summer tourists carry about with them are desighned more
to employ the hands, than improve the branes.
The man whoze whole strength lays in his money iz a weak man; I had
rather be able tew milk a cow suckcessfully, on the wrong side, than to
be such a man.
* * * * *
Patience, if it iz merely constitushional, don't appear tew me to be
enny more ov a virtue than kold feet are.
But fu sights, in this life, are more sublime and pathetick, than tew
see a poor, but virtuous yung man, full ov christian fortitude,
struggling with a mustach.