We are always a-looking ahed, and that iz the way tew look; if the man
at the wheel looks back he will soon beach hiz vessell.
The time tew be karefullest iz when we hav a hand full ov trumps.
I am a poor man, but i hav this consolashun, i am poor by acksident, not
desighn.
What an unreal life most folks lead; they don't ever hav a genuine taste
ov sorrow during their existence.
How menny people thare iz whoze importance depends entirely upon the
size ov their hotel bills.
_Mother!_--The holy thoughts and chastened memorys that cluster around
this name can never be so well expressed az in the calm utterance ov the
name itself.
It iz a good thing tew be hedstrong, but it iz a better thing tew
understand that a stun-wall iz a hard thing tew buk agin.
Mankind ain't apt tew respekt verry mutch what they are familiar with,
it iz what we don't know, or kant see, that we hanker for.
When i see people ov shaller understandings extravagantly clothed, i
always feel sorry--for the clothes.
I am just az certain that thare iz sitch a thing az "Spiritual
manafestashuns" az i am that there iz plenty ov superstishun and
trickery.
Prosperity makes us suspicious ov each other, while adversity makes us
trust in each other--the only way that i kan akount for this iz that in
prosperity we hav sumthing tew lose, while in adversity we hav
everything tew gain.
I konsider it a grate kompliment tew religion that there are only two
substitutes for it; one iz hipokrasy, and the other iz superstishun.
It iz a safe mistake tew make to call a man "Kurnel," who may in fakt be
only a 4th Korporal.
We are never nearer right than we am when we fear we are rong.
Modesty weighs a pound, impudence only 6 ounces, this ackounts for the
diffidence ov the one, and the vivacity ov the other.
Envy iz not so bad a pashun when it prompts us tew bild our chimney
higher than our nabors, but when it prompts us tew hurt hiz draft it iz
an awful mean one.
I thank the Lord for one thing, that he haz made the word _no_ the
hardest one in any language tew say.
Old dorgs nuss their grudges, but yung pupps fight and then frolik.
A man may git a big fut, or a pug noze, bi birthright, but nine-tenths
ov hiz virtews are the effekt ov associashun or edukashun.
Confess yure sorrows, yure fears, yure hopes, yure love, and even yure
deviltrys tew men, but don't let them git a smell ov yure
poverty--poverty haz no friends, not even among paupers.
Larning iz the only good substitute for experience.
I suppoze the reazon whi we all ov us admire the Atlantik Ocean so mutch
iz bekauze it don't belong tew enny boddy in partiklar; for what we kant
own, iz about all that we aint jealous ov.
Pedantry iz ignorant knowledge.
Thare iz this difference between modesty and bashfulness, one iz paint
under the skin, and the other iz paint on the outside ov it, liable tew
wash oph.
_Abstinence_ should be the exception, and _temperance_ the rule.
If a man should happen tew reach perfeckshun in this world, he would hav
tew die immediately tew enjoy himself.
One ov the best evidences ov our immortality, iz our desires tew be so.
A man who haint got enny imaginashun at all, iz just right for a
hitching post.
Old age iz covetous, bekauze it haz larnt bi experience, that the best
friend a man haz in this world, iz hiz pocket-book.
Love iz the fust pashun ov the heart, ambishun the seckond and avarice
the third, and last.
Patience will tire out ennything but musketoes.
Deference iz silent flattery.
The chains ov slavery are none the less gauling for being made ov gold.
The love that a man gains by flattery, is worth just about az mutch az
the flattery is.
"_Happy as a king_," iz a libel on happiness, and on the king to.
If you will be familiar, you must expekt tew loose the confidence ov
phools, and the esteem ov the wize.
Learning iz a good deal like strength, it requires good hoss sense tew
know how tew apply it.
Grate men are knot bi enny means the best ov companyuns, they seldum kan
ever enjoy themselfs.
Confess yure sins tew the Lord, and yu will be forgiven, confess them
tew men, and yu will be laffed at.
Impudence is nothing more than open hipokrasy.
About the most we kan hope in our old age iz tew endure the thoughts ov
what we enjoyed when we waz young.
There iz only one good substitute for the endearments ov a sister, and
that iz the endearments ov sum other pheller's sister.