The milk snaix hangs around pasture lots, and iz said tew fasten onto
the udders ov the cows, and git hiz milk puntch in this underhand way.
I don't beleave this, but in writing the biography ov snaix no man iz
obliged tew tell the whole truth about them enny how.
Fish and snaix are two things that authors are apt tew consider the
fackts ov when they write onto them.
I never knu a man yet, not even of fust rate judgment, if he should
ketch a fish that weighed 4 pounds but would guess he weighed 6, and if
he should kill a snaix that was 5 feet, and three inches long, would
want tew sware he waz 14 foot long, without taking the krooks out ov
him.
This iz human natur, and human natur is heavy on a marvel.
The Bible sez, "_marvel not_," and altho i look upon all things in the
Bible with the utmost venerashun, I hav wondered if Joner's ketching the
whale just az he did, wasn't some kind ov authority for the fish storys
ov the present daze.
If a man in theze times should ketch a whale az Joner did, he would
write an ackount ov it, and travel around the kuntry and lektur onto it,
and when he deskribed the size ov that whale, if a man wan't smart in
figgures, he would git a poor idea of the animile's dimenshuns.
I never have saw a milk snaix yet, and if i phool mi _life_ away, and
don't never see one, I don't intend tew mourn inkonsolably about it.
I hav alreddy seen all the snaix I want to, and wouldn't go a haff a
mile from here to see all the snaix on the buzzum ov the earth unless
thare waz a bonfire ov them.
Snaix ov all kinds hav got but one destiny tew fill, and Divine
Providence haz fixt that; it is tew git their heds squeezed by a
suitable sized pebble.