"THE CLAM."
The clam iz a bulbous plant, and resides on the under side ov the water.
He iz born az the birds are, but don't cum out ov his shell. He iz
deserted by his parents at a young and tender age, but don't bekum
clamarous on this akount, but sits still, and keeps watch with hiz
mouth, for sumthin tew cum along.
Hiz temper iz sed tew be cold and clammy, but he must hav a relish for
sumthing, for hiz mouth waters aul the time.
Thare iz nothing more docile than the clam, and altho they sumtimes git
into a stew, they are az eazy tew lay yure hand on, and ketch, az a
stun, but they are like an injun, not very talky; they hav got an
impediment in their noize; their lips open with too much titeness, and
their mouth iz tew full ov tongue tew be glib.
Clams were fust diskovered, az the meazles waz, by being caught. How
long a clam kan live I don't beleaf they kan tell themselfs, probably 5
thousand years, but a large share ov this time iz wasted; a clam's time
aint worth mutch, only tew grow tuff in; it is jiss so with sum other
folks I kno ov.