I hav written essays on kissing before this one, and they didn't satisfy
me, nor dew I think this one will, for the more a man undertakes tew
tell about a kiss, the more he will reduce his ignorance tew a science.
Yu kant analize a kiss enny more than yu kan the breath ov a flower. Yu
kant tell what makes a kiss taste so good enny more than yu kan a peach.
Enny man who kan set down, whare it is cool, and tell how a kiss tastes,
haint got enny more real flavor tew his mouth than a knot hole haz. Such
a phellow wouldn't hesitate tew deskribe Paridise as a fust rate place
for gardin sass.
The only way tew diskribe a kiss is tew take one, and then set down, awl
alone, out ov the draft, and smack yure lips.
If yu kant satisfy yureself how a kiss tastes without taking another
one, how on arth kan you define it tew the next man.
I hav heard writers talk about the egstatick bliss thare waz in a kiss,
and they really seemed tew think they knew all about it, but these are
the same kind ov folks who perspire and kry when they read poetry, and
they fall to writing sum ov their own, and think they hav found out how.
I want it understood that I am talking about pure emotional kissing,
that is born in the heart, and flies tew the lips, like a humming bird
tew her roost.
I am not talking about your lazy, milk and molasses kissing, that daubs
the face ov enny body, nor yure savage bite, that goes around, like a
roaring lion, in search ov sumthing to eat.
Kissing an unwilling pair ov lips, iz az mean a viktory, az robbin a
bird's nest, and kissing too willing ones iz about az unfragant a
recreation, az making boquets out ov dandelions.
The kind ov kissing that I am talking about iz the kind that must do it,
or spile.
If yu sarch the rekords ever so lively, yu kant find the author ov the
first kiss; kissing, like mutch other good things, iz anonymous.
But thare iz such natur in it, sitch a world ov language without words,
sitch a heap ov pathos without fuss, so much honey, and so little water,
so cheap, so sudden, and so neat a mode of striking up an acquaintance,
that i consider it a good purchase, that Adam giv, and got, the fust
kiss.
Who kan imagin a grater lump ov earthly bliss, reduced tew a finer
thing, than kissing the only woman on earth, in the garden of Eden.